Just wanted to talk. I have no one to talk to so what better way to get it out than this book right?

Well, If you haven't caught on yet, I'm the most sensitive, sadistic, ambivert ever.

No, really. I may seem like I'm this mean asshole but honestly guys, I'm not. Lol. I'm nice asf. I just don't like to be came at ya'know?

With that being said, I hate how people who KNOW me, act like they don't.

I try so hard for any and everyone that shows me they either want to be in my life or want to stay in my life. Even those who I know won't stay I still manage to cling on to pathetic ass hope that they have SOME kind of good in them and see that I really do care and maybe stop the bullshit? You'd think right? Tch, yeah. That's all it will ever be; a thought.

I get pushed to my limits every day and every day I take it like a grain of salt and why? Because I can't be a fucked up person to abandon someone in need. Fucking hate that about me.

I recently got into a nasty argument with my sister. It got really nasty to the point we really started hitting below the belt. She insinuated a few things and, well—things got physical.

I understand siblings fight but I seriously beat the fuck out of my sister and I honestly feel no type of regret. She's been coming at me for the longest because well, out of all of us I'm the only one with NO KIDS. No babyfather drama, I completed high school & I'm a licensed massage therapist. Plus I'm going to school for psychology as we speak so out of all my siblings she's the most bitter one. But its like why? You should he happy that your baby sister is getting more from life than what you got right? I mean come the fuck on I'm the only one taking care of my mom I can only deal with so fucking much and I hate that. Nobody fucking helps me pay bill nor do they supply gas in my car to make sure my mom makes it to her doctor's appointments on time. They barely bother to check on her and it's jus— sigh. Im so overwhelmed by everything and that fight really let me get out some frustrations that she put me through.

Overall I'm just really tired of reaching my hand out for mfs when i already have way too much on my plate.

🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ i just wanna cry tbh. But Ima trooper. Just needed to rant I guess. Get it all out.

Sometimes I just wish I had someone to talk to. Im always reaching out and shit for once I just want someone to just say "hey are you okay? What's going on? Im here if you need me." Ya know? Since im always the one saying that it's nice for it to he reciprocated. That's all. *sigh* i probably wont be updating for a while.... it's just too much right now guys. Im sorry... really. I'm just... idk.

Im sorry...