Gordon: It is not ~Easy~ being the Disappointment of the family~

Georgia: But we are here~ and we are fabulous~ bitch. *happy pitched laugh*

*****

John: (reading a 'forgiveness note') "I forgive you for ruining every single movie we've ever seen together." How do I ruin every single movie?

Alan: read my note.

John: "I forgive you for figuring out the end of every movie and shouting it out before it happens."

Alan: because, see, we don't want to know.

John: I just want to share my abilities with my siblings.

Virgil and Scott: we don't want your abilities.

The twins: your abilities make us want to hurt you.

*****

The hood: Aren't  you afraid of me?

Gordon: No. As we've established, I am only afraid of geese and butterflies.

*****

John: it's dark, I can't fucking see

Alan: don't worry I got this

Alan: *stomps feet, Sketchers light up*

*****

Little Scott, fiddling with a yogurt cup: Fucking shitty lid!

Lucille, glaring at Jeff: Now I wonder where he got that from.

Jeff: The fuckin' shitty fridge.

*****

Virgil: What did you do, twins?

Gordon: Alright but you can't get mad at us...

Virgil: I repeat. What did you do, twins?

Gordon: Okay, first we was minding our own business-

Hufflepuff: BULL SHIT! You definitely weren't

Georgia: We weRE!

*****

Brains: This says that your blood pressure is 420 over 69.

John: Nice.

Brains: You're going to die.

John: NICE.

*****

Alan: i have a question.

Georgia: shoot.

Alan: in the word scent is it the s or the c that's silent?

Georgia: fuck you. i'm going to be thinking about this all day.

Kayo: okay well cent is pronounced the same way as scent so i'd say the s.

Alan: but sent is also pronounced the same way.

Georgia: okay, google says the c was added in the 17th century. so i guess the c is silent.

Gordon: plot twist. both the s and c are silent and the letter e makes the sss sound.

Kayo: Gordon isn't allowed to talk anymore.

*****

Gordon: I don't have a train of thought, I have seven trains on four tracks that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and with all the conductors screaming.

*****

John: What kind of friendship is built on lies and manslaughter?

Kayo: A layered one?

Gordon: definitely a complicated one...

Gordon and Georgia, high five: that's what our twinship is built on

*****

Kayo: I'm not going to stand by and watch you kill innocent people, Uncle!

Hood: You can sit if you want.

*****

The hood: go to hell

Gordon: oh, no can do! Sorry hoody! satan still has that restraining order against me!

Kayo:*aplauding in the background, extremely proud*