Georgia: So, what time does the judgemental express arrive?

Gordon: John gets here at noon.

*****

Alan: Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?

Gordon: Yes.

*****

*alan, Georgia and Gordon are 9yrs old*

Alan: Scotty?

Scott: Yes?

Georgia: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?

Scott:

Scott: Where's Gordon.

Georgia: singing ring a ring a Rosie in the washing machine...

Alan: well he was but it's silent now...

Scott: *sprints off going into cardiac arest*

*****

Gordon: well, well, well, if it isn't my old friend

Georgia: the dawning realization you messed up real bad?

Gordon: and the winner is- wait what?

*****

Gordon: being the family disappointment is a difficult job, but someone's gotta step and take one for the team.

Georgia: but we couldn't leave that to Gordon, alone...

Kayo: of course not

Alan: that is why we have stepped up and joined him as well

*****

Gordon: this is actually going pretty adequately

Georgia: we have a problem

Gordon: andright on schedule! all adequatelyness has evacuated the rescue sight

*****

Virgil: Gordon, what kind of idiot are you?

Gordon: *face lights up and super excited* huh, I didn't know I had a choice, I mean I lack common sense, and booksmarts, and general smartishness...

Virgil: *facepalms*

*****

Gordon & Georgia: to us be yourself is terrible advice

Gordon & Georgia: Coz we will prolly destroy half the universe and kill every living being, then die ourselves coz we did something dumb.... and we'll be giant freakazoids as well

*****

Scott: GORDON, WHY DID YOU BREAK ALANS WRIST?!

Gordon: *completely monotone* he stole my Doritos. He shall pay the price.

Kayo: I'd do the same thing

Scott: what tHE FUCK

*****

Virgil: Gordon are you alright? You got shot!

Gordon: yeah, I'm fine I've been shot before.

Virgil: okay but- wait, you got shot before?

*****

Georgia: I'm so fancy...

Alan: You already know

Gordon: I'm in the fast lane, from LA to Tokyo-

John: there is no road from LA to Tokyo you imbeciles 

*****

Gordon: hey john watcha doin?

John: just converting oxegyn into carbon dioxide

Gordon: why are you always doing sciencey stuffy ma bobs?

John: breathing, Gordon. I'm breathing!