"Girl I'm gon' be honest. I don't know where my heart is. But lately, I've been wanting something different." - Elliot Trent

LALA

I'm in Tae's room at Montana's house. "The fuck I gotta wear a dress for?" I ask. "To play with them niggas, mane. I already told you that shit." he answers. I roll my eyes then toss my half of the money in the pile on the floor. He said he met some niggas who in a cartel and that all we gotta do is pay some  nigga a thousand dollars and we can be hit men for them niggas. It seem fishy but Imma trust Tae on this shit.

"You sure this shit ain't sketchy?" I ask. "Yeah, they some real ass niggas, mane." he answers. "Where they picking us up at? How the hell we even supposed to sneak out this house? Yo daddy ain't nowhere near easy to play. It was already hard enough to convince my dad I wanted to go over Reign house. I knew her dumb ass would bring me over here without even questioning me and shit." I explain. We planned this shit a week ago.

"We gotta walk like twenty minutes and they picking us up somewhere away from here." he answers. "Nigga, the fuck? You didn't say shit about a long walk." I say. "And? Would you rather walk or get caught by my dad? Them niggas can't come over here, my dad a kill  my ass." he says. "Yeah, I guess so. I took one of my dad guns." I say, showing him the glock. Tae pulls his shirt up, showing me the gun he got tucked away. My eyes widen. "Dang, nigga. Where that come from?" I ask. "I took it out momma purse when she was sleep." he answers. Damn, that bitch clean.

"You think she noticed that shit?" I ask. "I don't give a fuck if she did. It's too late now." he says. I got this uneasy feeling. My dad stay telling me to trust my gut and shit. I don't know if I'm nervous cause this our first time really jumping right in the street shit or if something just ain't right. "You got a bad feeling?" I ask. "Naw but I'll just shoot them niggas if they try to play." he says. "Yeah." I agree, trying to shake the feeling.

He bundles the money up into two stacks then  rubberbands it. "You ready?" he asks me as I put this ugly ass dress on. "Yeah." I say, letting him fix the front of the dress. I bet I look crazy as hell in a dress and some Jordan's. I don't even wanna look at myself in the mirror. He puts the money in his pocket then turns the light off.

We walk to the living room where Montana and his bitch Amber are sitting. I don't like that hoe. She seem fake as fuck to me. Just something about her is weird as hell to me. "Hey Tae and LaLa." She greets us, smiling. "Wassup?" Tae asks. "To keep it real, I don't fuck with you. You seem scandalous." I tell her straight up.

"LaLa." Montana sternly says, glaring at me. Amber smiles. "That's just fine, sweetheart." She says, moving her purse off her lap. Some shit just fell out. I look down at her bullshit as she leans down to get it. I just saw a police badge. This bitch is a whole undercover police. I gotta tell Montana this shit. How did he not know that? This bitch probably working and trying to build a case against this family.

I glance at Tae. He gives me a knowing look. "Amber, I'll call you tomorrow." Montana says, letting her know it's time for her to get the fuck out of here. She stands then kisses him on his lips. "I'll call when I make it home. Bye, Tae, bye LaLa." She says. "You kinda sexy, you should come gimme head with yo bitch ass." I mumble, making Tae laugh. I'll turn Lil Wayne's song Mrs. Officer into reality with this fake hoe.

"Cut it out." he demands, leading her out of here. I look at Tae. "You think that bitch trying to set my dad up?" he whispers. I nod my head yes. "I googled him one time and it say the police been trynna build a case for a long time but can't ever catch him up in shit." I whisper back. My grandpa Nathan told me Montana was a real G back in the days. They won't give us no details like we'll snitch or some shit. "Damn." Tae mumbles. I nod my head in agreement. Montana walks back in here with my mom, dad, KeKe, Noble, Majesty, Jessie, and Presley following. Where the hell all of them come from?

"Boy, where the hell you been? Why couldn't y'all answer the gotdamn phone my momma immediately yells at Tae and Montana. "I was here." Tae dryly answers. "I had company and my phone was on silent. I'm sorry." Montana says, hugging her. She shoves him then sits on the couch. "And LaLa, how the fuck you go from Reign house to here? Didn't I tell you that you ain't going nowhere?" she goes off on me. I "I thought it was okay." I lie. I knew she wouldn't let me come which is why I tricked Reign into bringing me. I got business to handle. "You knew it wasn't alright and for that, you're on punishment even on the cruise." she says. "Okay." I say. I don't give a fuck. There's no way in hell my dad will let her keep me on punishment and in the room on the cruise. He the more peaceful parent who don't give dumb ass discipline. Who pays thousands of dollars on a cruise just to make somebody stay in a room for liking bitches?

"Okay, I didn't know she was on punishment so my bad." Montana says. "Montana, yo girl a police." I blurt out, interrupting their conversation. He starts laughing. "I knew that already. She ain't slick and neither is the system. I can't be played." he nonchalantly says. Damn, so does that mean he playing her back? I don't ever see nothing illegal over here so I don't know what she even trying to find. Maybe, she expecting him to pillowtalk and tell her about his life in the streets but I know damn well he'll never do that shit.

"So... you know she trying to set you up? That's why you don't love her?" Tae asks, smiling  wide. He chuckles. "Your momma said it a long time ago." he says. "What? I thought you liked her?" I ask my mom. She chuckles. "Mind y'all business. Hell, all over here worried about this." She demands, letting my dad hold her from behind. My dad looks high so he just chilling. "Get outta grown folks shit." Montana chimes in.

Tae gives me a look. We need to leave. "We finna go." Tae says. "Go where? Hold the hell on, y'all think y'all grown?" my momma asks. "Ma... we straight." Tae says, pulling me out. "Y'all lost y'all fucking minds!" my momma yells, snatching Tae off the ground by his shirt. "Sit your ass down!" she yells, catching me off guard as fuck. When the fuck did she get this strong? Where all this crazy behavior even coming from? She fucked me up yesterday and now this. I'm starting to think she got some secrets.

He snatches away. "I'm going out." he says like he don't even give a fuck. Montana starts laughing. "Let em go." he says. "Hell naw, don't let them go. Chill out." Jessie says, trying to convince us to stay. "Naw, I'm through. You wanna be a hit man? Go ahead. Both of y'all. Go knock yourselves out." Montana says, hysterically laughing and scaring the hell out of me. It's like one of those angry laughs psychos on TV be having. The fuck got into this nigga?

"I will." Tae says, glaring at him. Montana walks over here then looks Tae in his eyes. "When this shit blow up in your face, son, use the money you made off the shit to pay your own hospital bills when they fuck your lil pussy, wanna be tough, hardheaded, still piss in the bed ass up." he says, then walks out of here. Damn, he seemed so mad and hurt over this whole thing. He just got on his ass.

"Mane, sit y'all mothafuckin' asses down." My dad snaps on us. "No." Tae says. My dad starts glaring at me. "Sit the fuck down." he demands. I look between him and Tae. "I ain't leaving my brother hanging." I tell him. I ain't trying to piss them off any further but shit, it is what it is. I'll never leave my brother just like he won't ever leave me.

"Antayla, if you walk out this house and go with him, so help me God... Hell, if either one of y'all walk out, we finna have some problems."  My momma calmly says, balling her fist up. I shake my head. "Exactly why you got on a dress and Jordan's and a purse?" Majesty slowly asks, laughing and sounding high as fuck. "I'm sorry, ma. I ain't letting him go by himself." I say, walking out with Tae.

She storms behind us. She shakes her head then slams the front door behind us. "You think we should still go? I ain't even gon' lie, nigga, I'm scared as hell now." I admit as we walk up the driveway. My momma didn't even try to stop us no more like she gave up on us. Same with Montana. This shit must be a sign or something. "Mane, shut up. Ain't shit finna happen. We finna just go get this money, bruh." he says.

I sigh as we walk. We almost where they told us to come. "Nigga, this more than twenty minutes." I say. "Look, Imma do this shit no matter how much walking I gotta do." he says, basically snapping on me. "The fuck? Mothafucka, don't be getting smart mouthed and shit with me. It ain't my fault you scared too and wanna act tough and shit." I snap back on him. "Let's quit fighting, mane. We need to focus, lil bruh." he says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we walk. "You right. My bad." I say.

"Bruh, that same white van drove by us like ten times." I mumble. He looks over there then pulls his gun out. "Maybe, it's nothing." he says. I take my gun out the purse I'm carrying. "Should we shoot first?" I ask. "Naw, wait till they do something if they even with some shit." he answers. I glance over there again then continue to walk. Something ain't right but he said not to shoot first so I won't.

We're standing behind the gas station we just walked all the way over here to. A black truck with tinted windows pulls back here. The window rolls down. It's a few grown ass, rough looking niggas in there. Tae motions for me to follow him. "Get in." the man in the passenger seat demands. Tae opens the door then gets in. I get in then look around at all the niggas in here. I damn near feel high. It smells like nothing but weed in here. These niggas strapped like a mothafucka.

"You got my money?" the man in the passenger seat asks Tae. "Yeah." Tae nervously answers. "Who this lil bitch, young nigga?" the nigga next to me asks, staring at my thighs. "She ain't no bitch. This my sister, Princess." he lies. Damn, he didn't even tell me he was giving fake names and shit. Why Princess? Shit, I ain't no princess.

"Why you calling me a bitch?" I ask. He looks me up and down. "Don't question me. Sit there and shit the fuck up." He demands. "Nigga, chill on. Quit talking to my sister like that." Tae demands, glaring at him. All four niggas in here start laughing. "He got some balls don't it?" the nigga in the passenger seat jokes, laughing. I roll my eyes, ignoring them. These niggas weird. Where the fuck Tae find them at?

"Aight." dude says. I lean against the window then turn my brightness down so I can text Tae in peace and ask him what he told them his name is. I send the message then glance at him. He looks at his phone then quickly types something. I look at it. He told these folks his name is Cash. Well, at least he knew not to give real names. Imma need this elephant trunk head ass nigga next to me to stop staring at me like a fucking pervert though.

We've been in the car riding for like twenty minutes. I'm real uncomfortable at this point. Damn, we should've just stayed at the house. "Where we at?" Tae asks as we pull up to a warehouse. "You talk too much." the nigga next to me says. Why they drive us so far away from everything? It looks like a random, raggedy building ducked off in the middle of nowhere like on a scary movie. "Who we even here to kill? Y'all ain't say shit about no random, weird ass building." Tae says.  "You." the nigga driving answers. My eyes widen as he points a gun at us. The niggas in here are just laughing and scooting out the way. "What the fuck?" Tae yells, shaking. I feel myself about to cry. What the fuck Tae get us into bruh? My body frozen as hell and I'm too scared to pull my gun.

"Please, don't kill me." I beg, feeling the tears falling. I just saw my whole life flash before my eyes. "Please. I'll do anything, don't do it." I beg, feeling lightheaded. "Anything? Suck my dick then." He demands. "No." Tae sternly says to me. Please don't let Tae do nothing to set his ass off. "If you finna kill us, we going out with a bang, my nigga." Tae adds, looking him in his eyes but only making him laugh.

"Hand over the mothafuckin money." the nigga in the passenger seat demands. Tae slowly reaches in his pants, pulling his gun. "Tae, no!" I scream. It's too late though. I feel sick. I just watched him blow this nigga in the front brains out. Blood and brain and shit just splattered everywhere. It's just gunshots ringing out from random ass places now.

I jump on top Tae, covering his body while he wildly shoots the gun. I scream in pain, feeling a strong, unusual pain shoot through my back. I feel like I'm going unconscious. What the fuck just happened to me? "Tae!" I cry while he opens the door, still shooting like a crazy nigga on a killing spree. He grabs my gun then starts shooting it.

He's practically dragging me out the truck, covering me. I watch the white van from earlier pull up. People inside of it start shooting the men in the truck that Tae hasn't already shot. Somebody jumps out the white van then runs over here with a ski mask and all black on, shooting men down. He snatches me up. "Move! I ain't leaving my brother!" I scream, ignoring the pain I'm in. I can't leave him.

The man throws me in the white van then starts shooting out the window.  My eyes widen. Jessie has on gloves and a bonnet covering his hair. "I fucking told y'all." he fusses. Presley gets in the front seat, shooting out that window. My momma, Montana, my dad, and KeKe are shooting out the back windows. Noble and Majesty aren't here. Jessie cuts my dress off with some scissors. "Gotdamn, you got stabbed." he says. What the fuck? Which nigga had a knife?

I scream in pain as he starts cleaning it with some shit that's burning the hell out of me. I feel it in my soul. I just realized the van is bulletproof because none of the shots coming this way are doing anything to the van. "You go left, I go right." Montana says to my momma, jumping out the van shooting with the Ak-47. My dad and KeKe are in here shooting anybody running out the warehouse that come anywhere near Montana and my mom or Tae. I'm shocked as fuck right now. Montana has aim like he practiced shooting his whole life and so does my mom. It's like my whole body is in shock. My momma has on a ski mask and a bandana around her mouth and if I didn't know it was her, I would think she's a nigga. It's like some type of hood assassin movie or some shit.

"Go get him." My dad demands. Presley jumps out the van again, shooting. I watch as he snatches Tae up, dragging him back here while shooting. My momma was basically guarding Tae. "Fuck!" I hear Presley yell in pain as he throws Tae in here. Presley jumps in the car. "I got hit." he says, pointing at the bullet hole in his leg. "Fuck, do y'all think I'm a fucking super nurse? Tae, you good?" Jessie asks, leaving some shit on my back as he cuts Presley's pants leg. Presley is still shooting out the window while Jessie examines his gunshot wound.

I look at Tae, crying. I'm so scared and traumatized. He's just shaking hard with blood all over his hands and face. He's wide eyed and zoned out, almost like he isn't here. I can't believe we got ourselves in some shit like this. What the fuck? I didn't know this is what cartels are about. All I can do is cry. Why those niggas even set us up?

I watch my momma shove Montana out the way then shoot some nigga that creeped up on him. "Yo momma the truth, huh?" my dad asks KeKe. "Hell yeah." he answers, laughing and shooting like this whole thing is normal to them. "Y'all need help." Jessie mumbles, coming back to me. "I'm finna start giving you stitches. Relax." he demands. I close my eyes tight as he starts doing it.

My momma and Montana jump in here. My dad pulls off fast. A truck pulls in behind us. "Who is that?" I panic, hoping it ain't the police or more niggas trying to kill us. "That's the cleanup crew. They finna burn this bitch down." My dad answers as we pull out. We just barely went up the street. This shit is literally like the middle of nowhere. I should've known it was a set up based on this random location that's away from everything. That should've been the first red flag.

There's a black van waiting. Jessie picks me up. My dad picks Presley up as he groans in pain. All of us get in the other van. My uncle Vonte is driving. Men I  don't recognize start cleaning the van. They got a gas can. Are they burning this down too? So, this is how it works?

We're riding in silence as Jessie tends to Presley's leg. My back is hurting so bad. I look over at Tae as his body shakes. "Tae." My momma says. He jumps in fear, looking around fast. She grabs his arm. "Tae. Relax." she demands. He breaks down crying on her chest, making me break down crying too. I've never seen nothing so scary in my life. It was so much blood and so many bodies. It smelled like death and shit. I feel sick. I can't get the image of all the brains splattering out of my head. I feel like I'm about to go crazy.

MONTANA

All of us are back at my house. "You good?" I ask Jessica as she sobs in her hands while Ant rubs her back. She taking this whole shit hard when I saw it coming. I knew Tae and LaLa would try to jump off the porch forreal eventually and I knew it would backfire. I stitched Presley's leg up. He lucky that shit  wasn't  bad. He knocked out sleep, high as hell now and so is LaLa.

Tae is sitting on the floor shaking and staring at the wall with sweat dripping everywhere. "Take off yo clothes and give me em." I demand. He ain't saying shit, he just staring at the wall like he ain't even here mentally. I know that feeling all too well. It's one you can't really even describe. That feeling you get the first time you watch a person die when you the one who pulled that trigger is one you'll never forget no many how many people you kill.

I started to just let them go but something told me it was some fuck shit so we went on and followed them around. The moment I realized they didn't even shoot at us when they noticed us following automatically made me know they nowhere near ready. Anytime a damn van following a street nigga, gunshots are bound to ring out. They didn't even know that and just kept on walking like they slow.

I got the guns they took from Ant and Jessica so I can get rid of them and all the bloody clothes. I'm burning that shit. "Tae." I say again, touching him. He jumps up, looking around. "At least he made it out alive." Noble says. "Shut up. Nigga, you get no stripes cause y'all stayed at the house." KeKe says, laughing. "Fuck you. I'm too high for that shit. I ain't no killer, I just be with em." Noble slowly says, flipping him off. "Shut yo rap lyric reciting ass up. Nigga, you ain't G Herbo." KeKe says, making me laugh. I knew I heard that quote somewhere.

I lift Tae up off the floor. It's like his body limp and he can't even stand up on his own. "Get yourself together. I told you you ain't ready." I say, shaking him. He snatches away from me then sits back down. "Tae, get up." I demand. He weakly stands up. "I already know you finna tell me how you was right." he mumbles, wiping his eyes. "You damn right. I told you so. Take a shower." I demand, following him to the bathroom.

"Why you trying to watch me shower?" he asks. I sit on the toilet, looking at my phone. "Nobody wanna see you. I'm in here to make sure you don't try to self destruct in here." I say. "What that mean?" he asks. I shake my head. He losing his sanity and I can tell. I don't need him to start banging his head on the shower wall or some crazy ass shit or to hurt himself period so I'm staying in here.

"You don't give a fuck about me! You didn't have to do that shit to prove your point!" he yells. "Who the fuck you cussing at and what the fuck you talking about?" I ask. He walks up on me, getting in my face. "You, nigga! You a bitch for that shit! I know you had them niggas do that shit to scare me and LaLa! You ain't shit! I swear you an ain't shit ass father and I wish they would've killed you! How the fuck none of them kill y'all? You set that shit up!" Tae hollers in my face.

I draw back then punch him in his jaw, sending him flying back into the tub. "Why the fuck would I send somebody to hurt my own son, nigga? You and LaLa took it upon y'all selves to go get in some bullshit! You need to be thankful we even came and saved y'all cause if not, me and you wouldn't even be having this conversation! I don't have to explain shit to you no fuckin' way! You and LaLa took y'all spoiled asses out there thinking y'all tough and them mothafuckas showed y'all why y'all ain't! You can't get mad at me cause you and yo sister decided to play gangsta and fucked around and saw what that shit really about! This ain't no movie, nigga, this reality!" I yell at him.

"How is it that you knew exactly where to come?" he yells. "Yo stupid ass got a tracker on yo phone and we followed y'all! I don't understand you, Tae! You thought life was a movie and that you could jump up in the streets and grimy shit won't go on! Whoever the fuck you got involved with set yo dumb ass up and you got lured in! Them mothafuckas was finna kill you, dumb ass!" I holler at him. I'm so mad at Tae, I don't know what to do.

"I killed one of them so fuck that shit!" he yells back. "And? And? What, you want a cookie, mane?" I yell in his face. "You can't pistol play then think shit finna be sweet. The streets don't give a fuck about nobody, fifteen or not! Get that bullshit out yo head talking about I set you up. I ought to punch yo ass out for that dumb ass bullshit!" I go off.

He doesn't say anything as he takes his clothes off to take a shower. "Fuck you." he mumbles. I start swinging on him, beating the fuck out of him. I done did everything I can to keep his ass on the right track and give him a good life and he wanna say fuck me cause his soft ass wanna be a street nigga and failed at it. He got me fucked up. "Montana, get off of him, now!" I hear Jessica yell while trying to pull me off.

I step away. "This nigga think I set his ass up to get taught a lesson! What type of shit is that?" I yell. She looks between us. "Montana, go calm down. Tae, I'll stay in here while you take a shower then all of us can talk about it." she says. He stands up, wiping blood off his face. "Y'all don't give a fuck about me. Ma, all y'all do is come at me!" Tae hollers. She folds her arms across her chest. "Boy, shut the fuck up and quit taking your frustrations out on the people who love you." she demands.

I shake my head then walk out the bathroom. I'm mad as hell. Am I really that much of a fucked up parent? I did the best I could with him. Why would he even assume I don't love him. Of all things, why would he think I set him up to get fucked up tonight? I can't understand where all this shit came from for the life of me. I could tell it was built up anger he got towards me but where the hell did it even come from?

DREW

I stayed the night with Reign again. I feel so good when we around each other. That good feeling is gone like a mothafucka now though. I'm outside my house smoking a blunt in my car before I have to go in here and face Shai. I wanna  tell her the shit I've really been doing but at the same time, that'll be stupid as fuck. Imma just have to quit doing shit with Reign and act like we didn't kiss and damn near fuck last night.

I don't know what it is, but I feel like Reign got so much shit to get off her chest with me. It seem like she always saying she got something to tell me then some shit interrupt her. I just don't be wanting no bad news and shit cause too much of that came to me my whole life. I get out the car then walk to the front door. I unlock it then walk in. She cleaned up all the dishes she broke yesterday and shit. It's quiet as hell in here.

I sit the remainder of the blunt in an ashtray then jog up the stairs. She folding clothes and watching Judge Judy like an old ass woman. "Wassup?" I ask. She ignores me, watching the TV and folding her clothes like ain't even standing here talking to her ass. "Now, if I turn around and walk out this bitch, you gon' say I did your ass wrong. Miss me with that childish shit." I tell her.
She looks at me then turns the TV off. "Don't come home with an attitude when you're the one that got the explaining to do." she says, sitting the clothes down and giving me her undivided attention. Well, damn.

"So? That don't mean act like you don't even see a nigga." I say. "Shut up talking to me." she demands. "Damn, you like a fucking child. I don't understand this shit with you. Everytime you get mad and wanna talk, you act like you can't even talk and shit. Damn, you wanna talk about it or not?" I ask. Shai be irritating the fuck out of me with this bullshit. "Go take the attitude to wherever you've been staying the past two nights." she says, rolling her eyes.

"Jessica said the cruise booked. We leaving next week. You need to be getting yo shit packed." I tell her, taking my clothes off and purposely changing the subject before I cuss her ass out. I took a shower at Reign's house before I left there. She rolls her eyes. "You did not leave home wearing that and those shorts don't belong to you." she says, pointing at the gym shorts Reign gave me. "They Vonte's." I say. Shit, I'm not lying. I just ain't finna tell her that came out of Reign's drawer.

"So, Vonte is your alibi, huh?" she asks, chuckling. I eyeball her as she walks around. "I don't need no alibi. I ain't getting investigated for murder." I say, chuckling. "I might be in a minute." she says, folding her arms across her chest. Shai is crazy as hell but can't even fight. She the type to burn your house down and fuck your car and shit up. She one of those who do wild ass shit trying to prove a point. "You ain't killing nobody. Shut up." I demand.

"You think you just so slick. Make sure your bitch don't sigh in the background next time!" she snaps, slapping me hard as hell right across my face. Damn, she almost caught a reflex. Where the hell that shit come ftom? "What you mean?" I ask, moving out her way. She circling around this mothafucka like a lion finna kill a human and shit. Damn, Reign did sigh loud but I didn't think Shai heard her. What the fuck type elephant ears her ass got?

"I heard some bitch sigh when I called you and you had the nerve to cut me off and hang up in my face! You have me fucked up!" she screams, swinging on me again. It would've been better if she said you got me fucked up instead of you have me fucked up but whatever. "You can't even cuss right." I mumble, trying to not laugh. "Don't play with me!" she screams, punching me in my mouth.

"That's your problem! You think every fucking this is funny when it's not! Stop acting like I don't have the right to be upset because I do! You're my man and you randomly acting funny and not coming home, not feeling like having sex and all types of shit, then when I called some  bitch sighed like I was annoying and you hung up in my face like I was irritating you! Fuck that, you have no right to be irritated! I'm the one wondering where the fuck my man is!"  she yells, kicking and punching me. I get where she coming from but damn.

"Quit swinging on me because if I swing back, you gon' be in a corner somewhere crying and shit. You know better." I warn her. I don't hit women but she provoking the shit out of me. She popping the shit out of me. Where in the fuck was all that strength at when she got the shit beat out of her by Reign and all them? I didn't see none of this. Shai really in this bitch like she a boxer.

"Nigga, whatever, I don't wanna hear that shit! I know you cheating on me!" she yells. "How?" I ask, folding my arms across my chest. "Don't play dumb with me. I know you're doing it but I have no proof. At least the last time you cheated, you still had the decency to come home every night after you fucked the different bitches. What the fuck is this hoe you messing with doing for you that got you staying nights with her ass? Please let me know what the hell her secret is so I can get my so called man to come home!" she goes off.

"Sit down so we can talk." I demand. "You're about to have to tell me something because this shit ain't adding up. This ain't nothing like the man I love." she says. She sits on the bed. I lean against the wall, looking at her. "I got one question. You sure you really want the truth? I won't lie to you so yes, or no. You wanna know?" I ask. She bites her lip, looking away from me like she in deep thought.

"You know what, save it because I can't deal with the heartbreak of whatever you're about to say to me." she says.  "You sure?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. She starts crying in her hands. "Tell me." she mumbles. "Shai, I tried and tried to fight temptation but I have been fucking off on you for a few days." I admit. She looks at me, staring at me like that shit just broke her heart.

"Why?" she asks. "Shai..." I mumble. "Why? Why are you suddenly fucking around like I'm not at home every single night waiting for you! When you were fathering somebody's baby then found out that little girl wasn't yours, you were heartbroken but I was there! When your uncle's brains got blown out in your damn face and you came to me traumatized and fucked up, who was here trying to make you feel better? It was me! I've been here for you, so why would you go mess around on me and it sounds like you're catching feelings for her at that!" she yells at me.

Shai was there for me through shit I didn't ever think I would make it through. When I was nineteen, I thought I had a baby. She was three months and some nigga came in the picture claiming to be the father. When the DNA test came back and I found out she wasn't even mine, I was fucked up about it but I left all them alone. Then when my uncle got shot in his head out of nowhere infront of me, that shit really messed me up. Shai was my friend back then but I eventually settled down with her cause she was there for me every single day through it all. She can't cook that good but she was even attempting to make me food cause I wouldn't eat for shit.

"I was there for you too when shit got tough on your ass too, mane. You was depressed as a mothafucka, trying to kill yourself cause yo fucking professor at yo first college tried to rape you and it spread! What I do? I handled that mothafucka for yo ass! You couldn't even pay for yo tuition when you switched schools but who the fuck held you down? Me! I paid yo shit in full and you never even thanked me for the shit. Stop making it sound like you only been here for me and like I was never there for yo ass. Why the fuck you even bringing up what you did for me anyway?" I ask.

"You know what, Drew, shut the fuck up. The only reason you're even throwing that back in my face is because you feel bad and wanna take some of the guilt off yourself and make this shit about me. That didn't even make sense. Shut the hell up and own up to what you've done to me when I've only loved you." she goes off, pointing her finger in my face. Damn, she right.

"Damn, Shai. I'm so fucking sorry." I apologize, trying to hug her. She shoves me away. "You know how much I love you so why would you do this? Why? What the fuck made you do it because I know you aren't an easily manipulated person, so what made you decide to do that?" she asks. I grab her hands. "Shai, it's just hard as hell to not give a fuck about somebody who meant the world to you at one point." I admit. I do love Shai but Reign just like a breath of fresh air to a nigga forreal.

She steps back. "Maybe, you should just go figure out what you want." she mumbles. "I want you. I just... damn, Shai." I say. She starts crying in my chest. "I just don't get it." she sobs. I pull away from her. "Imma just get a hotel and let you have some time alone." I say. She wipes her eyes, sniffling and crying. "We can talk later. Right now, I'm too hurt but we can work through it, I'm sure." she says.

"After all this, why you still want me?" I ask. "I'm not stupid. I know you have issues you haven't told me about. Maybe, that's the reason you do the things you do." she says. I look at her funny. "Shai, I got feelings for somebody else." I say. She freezes up, staring at me. "How long have you been messing with her?" she asks. "I don't wanna answer that. I haven't had sex with her, I just be chilling and smoking with her. You won't even smoke with me... come on, now, Shai. She do the shit you don't do." I admit. "Really? Me not being a smoker makes you want to cheat on me?" she yells.

I shake my head, stepping back. "Naw, fuck that shit. You didn't do nothing wrong. It's just me." I say. I don't know why I'm constantly blaming her when I'm the one doing the dirt. I don't know why I keep allowing myself to do her like that. The moment Reign walked up to me at my party, I already knew it was finna be trouble. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away even though I fight with myself about that shit all the time.

"You wanna leave me?" she asks. "No. I already told you I don't want to." I answer. She chuckles. "You're slick with words, Drew. You don't want to leave me but you will. Go ahead and say it." she mumbles. "Shai, please stop." I beg her. Gotdamn, I hate how she be twisting my words and sometimes it be true. She good at that.

She rolls her eyes. "Go ahead... just go on to your hotel and do what you gotta do." she demands. Gotdamn, I never in a million years thought I would be having love issues and bullshit. "Aight." I say, opening our drawers. I grab a few shirts and boxers then walk in the closet. I need to get the fuck out of here and think and smoke. I walk in the closet then grab some shit to wear for a couple of days.

I throw all of it in my Louis Vuitton duffel bag then walk in the bathroom. I grab my toothbrush, deodorant, and lotion then put it in there. I walk back into my room then look at Shai as she cries. "I'm sorry." I say. "Yeah. You're just that. Sorry." she says. "No need for calling me out my name and shit." I say. "I can call you whatever the fuck I want to. All I know is when I find out who the bitch is, you better tell her to watch her back because I promise you I'm gonna whoop her ass." she says. "Shai, you can't fight. You gon' learn about swinging on women and shit." I say. "You're defending her and it's fucked up." she says.

"I ain't defending nobody, Shai. If anything I'm defending you by telling you to keep yo hands to yourself cause you ain't no fighter. Females out here really will drag you, mane. Chill the fuck out." I warn her. She starts punching me in my chest. "Fuck you!" she screams. I grab her hands then slam her down on the bed. "Stop. You know I ain't lying. You jumped on Reign and got yo ass beat. Stop trying to be something you ain't." I demand. She snatches away then slaps me. "Drew, fuck that bitch Reign! If I find out you've been messing around with that stupid ass bitch, me and you will not make it on that cruise because Imma kill you and go to jail!" she screams.

"So, if I cheat on you with somebody else, it's all good but if it's Reign, you ready to catch a body?" I ask. "It ain't okay either way it goes but with that bitch... oh hell no. What the fuck is your history with her anyway?" she yells. "I love her, Shai, damn!" I yell, catching my own damn self off guard just as much as her. I can't believe I just said that shit to her.

She steps back, staring at me in shock. "Love? You love her?" she asks, stepping away from me. I stare at her as she looks me in my eyes, in tears. "Yeah, Shai, I love her." I admit. "Why?" she screams. "Shai, how many times I gotta say we got history? I was seventeen and we had our shit going on. I love her, there you go." I say. "Leave. Just go to your hotel. I can't even look at you." she says, pushing me.

I wrap my arm around her then kiss her lips. "I didn't mean to hurt you." I say, then walk out the room. "But you did!" she yells, storming behind me. She tries to push me down the stairs. "I hope you die!" she yells. I push her off me. "Watch yo fucking mouth." I demand. "Watch your fucking dick then you nasty dog!" she screams, punching and kicking me. "You bitch! Leave!" she yells at me, going crazy as hell on my ass.

I ignore her, walking down the stairs. I feel her kick me in my back. I turn around, only to get punched in the face by her. "This why the fuck we going through what we going through with yo annoying ass. Yo pussy ain't good enough for you to annoy a nigga." I snap on her. I'm mad as hell. Her pussy is good but fuck it, I said it now.

"What does my pussy have to do with you cheating on me? So, my pussy isn't good all of a sudden? It be good when you eating it and fucking me!" she yells. I ignore her, walking out the front door. She storms out here behind me. "I don't know what whoever this bitch is is doing to you but this is not the person I fell in love with! You're a fucking asshole!" she yells, punching my back. I turn around. "Naw, nice to meet you." I say. Now she finna start seeing exactly how the fuck I get down. I'm sick of this nagging shit she be doing and I ain't hiding a fucking thing from her no more. She can either hate it or love it and like it or leave it. Imma be me.

"How did we get here?" she asks, crying as I get in my car. "I don't even know. I hate this shit." I admit. Damn, I need to go cool off. I don't like beefing with Shai.  I'm always hollering shit I don't mean. "Go back in the house and calm down. Imma go to a hotel and I'll call you tonight. We both gotta cool off." I say. She nods her head, crying. "I love you." she mumbles. I sigh. "I love you too." I say, closing the door.

I watch as she walks back in the house then pull off. That shit was wild as hell. I pull my phone out my pocket then call Reign as I drive. She answers. "What's up?" she asks me. "Can I come through?" I ask. She gets quiet then sighs. "Yeah, Drew. Come." she says. "Aight, I'm on the way." I tell her. "Alright, I'll see you then." she says. "Cool." I say. It's like she the only one I wanna run and vent to right now. She won't wanna hear about my shit with Shai cause she the problem but I'm sure she'll listen to a nigga anyway.

I'm at the grocery store now. I needed to stop and cool off before I go over there. I'm at the register paying for my shit. "Did you find everything okay?" the cashier asks. "Yeah." I answer. I got some snacks, juice, chicken, and a bunch of seasoning. I already know Reign can cook so hopefully she don't mind cooking for a nigga. I'm stressed and hungry as hell and I just want a good, home cooked meal.

I grab my bags then walk out the store. My phone starts ringing. What the fuck do she want now? It's Shai again. I answer it as I walk to my car. "What?" I ask. "I can't go on without you." she sobs. "Quit whining. That shit make you sound pathetic." I say. "You acting like you did nothing wrong." she says as I crank my car up. "No I don't. I said I'm sorry and I said I was wrong." I say. "Is that supposed to change things?" she asks. "Naw, but at least I was man enough to tell you." I say, driving the short distance to Reign's apartments.

"What if I go out and spend two nights with another nigga?" she asks. "I'll take my lick like a man and let your ass go." I answer. I ain't ever gon' spazz out if she cheat on me because I did my shit too and if a nigga can get her to cheat, he can have her. Shai can do what the fuck she want as long as she ready for the consequences.

I pull in the gate of Reign's apartments, following behind somebody who just drive in. "You're so full of shit. You'll be mad if I cheat." she says. "Imma call you back." I say hanging up. I can't deal with that shit right now. My mind all over the place and I can't stand arguing with her. I pull in a parking space by Reign's building. I turn the car off then unbuckle my seat belt. I get out then take a deep breath.

"Drew!" I hear Jelena yell. I look to my left then smile at her as she rides a small pink bike with training wheels on it. She got on a helmet. Reign is walking behind her holding  a bucket of chalk and an empty Capri Sun pouch and empty ice cream cup. "Wassup? What you been up to?" I ask Jelena. I thought she went home by now. "Auntie Reign let me ride my bike and she helped me draw with chalk and she got me ice cream too!" Jelena exclaims, stopping her bike. Damn, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if Reign would've got pregnant when I nutted in her. She so good with the kids so I know she would've been the shit if we had a baby back then.

"That's good. You had fun?" I ask, helping Jelena off her bike. "Yes. And I talked to my daddy. He coming to get me after I take a bath." she tells me. "That's good. Wassup Reign?" I ask. "Hey." she says, hugging me. After last night, we didn't really talk that much. We just laid up on some G shit and then I went my own way when we woke up.

I grab the bags out my car then close and lock the door. "What's all this?" Reign asks as we walk up the stairs. "Groceries." I answer. "For?" she asks. "You to cook." I answer. She starts laughing. "I ain't your wife, honey." she says. "I know but you can still cook." I say. She starts laughing as she unlocks the door.

"Auntie, I'm sleepy. Can I just take a bath at home when daddy get me?" Jelena asks, yawning. "No, you need to go ahead and get in the tub." Reign answers, leading her out of here. I walk in the kitchen then start putting the food up. I stop and stare at an ultrasound picture that's on the side of her refrigerator. It's made into a magnet. Damn, she must really be fucked up about that rapist ass nigga's baby she lost. I wanna ask about it but I don't know how she'll take that shit and I really can't deal with another woman going off on my ass today.

I'm sitting on the couch playing a game on my phone. Somebody starts knocking on the front door. I get up then look out the peephole. It's Jessie. Me and this mothafucka used to have so much beef back then but that shit dead now. I open the door then shake his hand. He got on his scrubs and shit. I can't even flex, I'm proud of this young nigga for going legal on our asses.

"Wassup mane? I didn't know you was here." he says, laughing as he walks in. "I just got over here not that long ago." I say, locking the door. "Shit, where Shai at?" he asks. "She at the house." I answer. He looks past me at Reign as she walks in here with Jelena in her arms in new clothes. "Daddy!" Jelena screams, jumping down. She runs and hugs him. I smile a little. Damn, I wish I had a lil girl running and just happy as hell to see me like that.

"Hey. You about to go to work?" Reign asks, hugging him. "Naw, I just got off. I was there all day and I'm finna go home and go to sleep. She already ate?" he asks Reign. "Yeah. She ate something from Buffalo Wild Wings a few hours ago." she answers. "Aight. Thank you." he says. "No problem." she says. He throws up a peace sign at us. "Lil peace sign having ass nigga. Bye bruh." I say, laughing. This nigga just threw up a peace since like a twelve year old white bitch that buys her clothes from that store Justice in the mall and shit.

He flips me off as he walks out the apartment with Jelena. Reign waves then closes and locks the door. I walk over to her then hug her against the wall. "What you doing?" she asks, laughing and hugging me back. "Shit, I'm just happy to see yo ass." I admit. "You saw me this morning though." she says, laughing.

I pull away then walk back to her room with her following. "Yeah, so? You know you happy to see me too." I say. She smiles, sitting on the bed. "Whatever. So... why aren't you at home with Shai?" she asks. Shit, I saw that question coming. "I told her I love you and I told her I been doing wrong." I answer. She shakes her head. "I don't even wanna know. I still have to go get stuff for the cruise. You wanna come?" she asks. "Yeah, let's go." I answer.

We in my car on the way to Target. I don't even give a fuck if I'm seen. "What all you gotta get from here?" I ask her. "Motion sickness and pain medicines just in case somebody gets sick. I'm gonna get a first aid kit too." she answers. "Should I get some of that shit too?" I ask. "If you want or you can just use mine if you get sick or something." she answers. I nod my head, pulling in the parking lot of the store.

I park in the expecting mother spot. "Nigga, I'm not pregnant so why you parking here?" she asks. I chuckle then touch her stomach. "You will be." I say. She looks at me funny. "Chill. I'm just playing. Let's go though." I demand. Both of us get out the car. We walk towards the entrance. I grab the basket then walk in with her next to me. "I wanna look at the swimsuits." she says.

I follow her to the bikinis and shit. "Damn, what I tell yo ass? You better not wear this shit." I say. She grabs a red bikini with fringes and shit. She smiles then throws it in the basket. "You petty as hell." I say, watching her grab a mint colored one. "What you think of this?" she asks, pointing at a black one piece. "Yeah, get that cause that mothafucka ugly and I won't be looking at yo ass." I answer, making her laugh. "It is not ugly. I like it." she says. "Yeah, me too cause it's a whole turn off and that's exactly what I need you in." I say.

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever." she says, walking out of this section. We walk over to the jewelry. "Thought you was just here for medicine?" I ask, staring at her ass. "Quit looking at my butt. I just wanna see their sunglasses." she says, trying a pair of brown ones on. She looks at me then smiles. "What you think? Do I look good in these?" she asks. I'm finna flirt with her ass a lil bit. "Naw, you beautiful in whatever." I answer, making her blush and put them in the basket.

"You should get some too." she says. "Hell naw, Imma bring my Gucci and Versace ones." I say. "I'm bringing my oversized Gucci sunglasses too. Maybe, we should match." she suggests, making me laugh. "Whatever, Reign. I ain't doing that corny ass shit." I say. "It's not corny. You're corny." she says, pushing me. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind. "Hey Drew, this ain't Shai so where is she?" some bitch asks. I look at her then groan. It's one of Shai's friends. Fuck. Here come some more bullshit.

I pull away from Reign then look at her. "Exactly who are you?" Reign asks. "Bitch, I'm his wife Shai's friend Meka. So, what's this?" she asks, putting emphasis on wife. "Watch yo mouth." I demand. Shai got plenty of wanna be hood ass friends that's always getting stomped the fuck out by somebody. That shit crazy. They really he confronting mothafuckas like they with the shit.

"Bitch? Drew, come on." Reign demands. I follow behind her as we walk off. "Just know I'm telling Shai." Meka says. "Tell her and watch me tell her how you tried to suck my mothafuckin' dick last month." I threaten her. "I was drunk!" she snaps. "You still did that shit though. Try me." I threaten, walking away as she stands there shook as hell. I bet she keep her mouth shut now. She know better cause I got dirt on her ass too.

"Yeah, I'm recording your ass anyway. This is Drew in Target with some lil mixed ass bitch. That's y'all black boys problems, always cheating on a beautiful black woman with a trash ass mixed or white bitch!" Meka says, putting the camera on us. Reign turns around. "Bitch, what the fuck? What I am has nothing to do with anything! Don't bring race into nothing!" Reign goes off. The fuck? I cheated on Shai with a woman darker than her and I loved every bit of it. Why folks quick to bring up race all the time? A nigga will do whatever the fuck he want anyway.

"Really? You just had to threaten her?" Reign asks, laughing as we walk down the hair care aisle. "Fuck her. Shai lil ugly ass friends always in a nigga business." I say. She shrugs her shoulders. "That's who you decided to marry so her friends come with it." she says, shrugging her shoulders. "Hell naw. Fuck that shit." I say, grabbing a gold, flower headband. "Why you grabbing that?" Reign asks. "Get this shit. I think it'll be sexy as hell with yo curls and shit hanging down." I say. I ain't no weird ass nigga or nothing but I be visualizing certain shit on sexy ass women.

We got all the other shit we came for, now we outside putting it in the car. "I got way more than I planned to." she says, laughing. "I should've known I was finna be stuck in that bitch a whole hour." I say, shaking my head. She took a lifetime looking at nail polish and all that bullshit I don't know nothing about. "Nigga, you know you happy to spend time with me so stop complaining." she says, making me laugh. I won't ever openly agree to that shit. She can't be feeling special.

We get in the car. I put my seatbelt on. "Buckle yo damn seatbelt." I demand. "How bout I buckle my foot up your ass?" she sarcastically says, putting it on. "You tough ain't it, mane?" I ask. "Damn right." she answers, smirking. I playfully thump her chin. "Quit hyping yourself up, pickled pig feet smelling ass nigga. You ain't all that." I say. "Yes I am all that and that's exactly why you can't stay away." she says, grinning. I ignore her, watching the road.

"Reign, you know I ain't ever leaving her, right?" I ask, breaking the silence. "And? I don't care." she answers. "You okay with being a side chick?" I ask. "You got me so fucked up, nigga. I ain't no side bitch. What the fuck you thinking?" she asks. "I don't wanna leave her but I can't leave you alone." I admit. "Shut the fuck up talking to me." she demands.

"Reign, I love both of y'all." I admit. "Well, if you love that hoe, please get the fuck on somewhere! Go home to her, please! I should've known you would make my life hard again the second my momma told me you invited me to your party! Damn, I wish I never went to that shit!" she screams, throwing her phone upside my head. Damn, that shit hurt bad ad hell. I ain't ever seen her this mad before.

"I wish you never came too cause I wouldn't be dealing with this shit right now." I mumble. I feel her staring at me. "Drew, why did I have to be so stupid and open up to you again? I should've listened to my momma." she says. Her voice cracking and shit. I stop at the red light then look at her. "I know what I'm doing to Shai ain't right but I just can't even let you go for shit." I say.  She shakes her head. "I'm not letting you do this shit to me. Why would I think for a second this was okay?" she asks herself, staring out the window. I don't know what to say.

We just got back to her apartment. I'm helping put away the shit we bought. "I don't want you mad at me." I say. She shakes her head, walking in her closet. I sigh then lean against the wall. She lays the suitcase on her bed then walks back in the closet. I got too much shit on my mind. I didn't mean to hurt neither one of them. I feel shitty as fuck watching her. She looking hurt as hell. I feel some type of way too. I never saw this shit coming.

She walks out the closet with a bunch of clothes in a clothes basket. She sits it on the bed then pulls out a Versace dress. She folds it up then puts it in her suitcase. She just looking down and folding shit to take on the cruise. "Reign." I say. She breaks down crying in her hands. "Leave!" she demands. I sit down next to her then wrap my arms around her. "Get off of me, damn. Go console Shai. Please leave me alone." she begs, sobbing hard as fuck.

I kiss her lips. She starts kissing me back and crying at the same time. I deepen it, getting horny as fuck. I start kissing down her neck while picking her up. I slide her leggings down then get between her legs, tongue kissing her. She squirming around under me. I sit up then pull her panties down. She grips my head while I eat her pussy better than I ever ate pussy in my life.

She screaming and moaning and just shaking like a mothafucka. "I love you." she moans, holding my head. She got her eyes closed and her mouth wide open. I stick my finger in her, fingering her while I eat her pussy. She enjoying the fuck out of it. I don't think I ever made a woman feel this good. I got a point to prove in this bitch. "I love you too." I tell her, watching her moan while she squirts. "What the hell? I didn't know I could squirt." she mumbles, staring at me like I'm that nigga. Damn right I can make her feel shit her girlfriend can't.

I sit up then pull my dick out. She rolls her eyes. "Why you looking like that?" I ask, kissing her. She pushes my head away then sits up. "You know you aren't about to fuck me, right? Thanks for the head but it's time for you to go." she says. "The fuck?" I ask. "You heard me. Thanks for the head, I greatly appreciate it. Now please get out and go to your wife." she demands, going right back to being mad as hell.

I stand up then pull my pants back up. "Let me stay over here." I say. "No, because I'm not a sidechick and you aren't about to be laying up over here with me making you happy as fuck just for you to go right home. You are married." she goes off. "What if I tell you me and Shai ain't even married forreal?" she asks.

"Get the fuck out of here. Stop playing with me. You have on a fucking wedding band. I ain't stupid and even if you aren't married, you're still with her and you ain't about to keep me on the side when she ain't making you happy." she says. "Aight... well, I guess I'll see you around." I say, feeling sick as fuck.

She looks away from me as tears roll down her cheeks. "I'm about to take a shower. I'll let you out when I finish." she mumbles, walking towards the bathroom. I grab her arm then pull her back to me. "Reign, please." I beg her. "Please what?" she asks. I kiss her lips, picking her up. I can't get up off her ass for shit.

I lay her down, still between her legs. She already ain't wearing panties. She doesn't say anything as I pull my pants and boxers down. I stroke my dick then put it at her entrance. She starts pushing me away. "No... You aren't getting me pregnant." she says, sounding scared as fuck. "I'll pull out." I assure her. "Drew..." she mumbles, not looking in my eyes. "What's wrong?" I ask as she breathes heavily. She stands up, putting her panties back on. "Nothing." she answers, rushing in the bathroom.

I sit back on the bed. What the hell she got going on? My phone starts ringing. It's Shai again. I answer it. "What?" I ask. "The fuck do you think this is?" she screams in my ear. I hang up the phone in her face then turn my phone off. I'll just deal with that when I have no other choice. I can't handle no more cussing and screaming today. I really can't do it.

Reign just took a shower. She walks out the bathroom naked then opens her drawer. I watch her put on some Nike running shorts, a bra, and the shirt to match the shorts. "I'm about to go talk to my mom. If you staying here, get your ass in the guest room." she demands. I nod my head, watching her look down. Why the fuck can't she look me in my eyes for nothing?

"Listen... I got with her cause she had my back. I thought I had a child but it turned out to not be mine. When my uncle got killed a lil after that, it all fucked me up. She was there and I respect her for that. That's why. That shit really messed me up." I say. She stops and looks at me. "Drew, I got pregnant by you and I carried your child for three months and I miscarried the same day Sage and Serenity were born. Everytime I see them, I think about our baby. It fucked me up bad." she says, catching me off guard as fuck. It feel like all the wind just got knocked the fuck out of me.

"What?" I ask, trying to make sure I heard her right. She nods her head, crying. "I ran away because I felt stupid and like everybody hated me... I was pregnant and my parents knew. I was in the hospital that night for that, not for whatever reason you were told." she says. I shake my head then walk out her room.

"Drew." she says, following me. I snatch her front door open. "Bitch, fuck you!" I snap on her. She gasps. "What?" she asks. "Get the fuck out my face, bruh, I damn near wanna strangle yo ass. Stupid ass bitch. Kill yourself." I go off. "Why would you say that to me?" she cries. I slam the door then jog down the stairs. I punch the stair rail. "Fuck, I can't take this shit!" I yell in frustration. Why the fuck would she hide that from me? So, that's what she had to tell me. This some bullshit. I don't have shit to say to her ass after that. Fuck her.

I just got home. I get out the car then unlock the front door. "Shai, come here!" I yell throughout the house. She walks down the stairs looking mad as hell. I hug her tight. "I'm so fuckin' sorry, mane, I'll never do that shit again." I apologize, fighting back tears. Shit don't break me easily but that one really threw me for a loop and fucked my head all the way up.

"What happened?" she softly asks, rubbing my back. I look away from her, not wanting her to see me cry. "Nothing." I lie, walking back out this house. I need to get the fuck away from her, Reign, and everything. I just need to drive somewhere, get high alone, and clear my mind. It's always something.

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PRETTY EVENTFUL CHAPTER, DON'T YA THINK?