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"Richer than a fuck, but it don't heal my pain." - Rod Wave

JESSICA

I'm enjoying my wine and having the time of my damn life all alone in my bed. All the kids are gone with Keke and Ant is still out with Tez and Vonte. My phone has been constantly ringing, but I've been ignoring it because these kids ain't about to get on my damn nerves right now. They know where to find me if it's that important.

I roll my eyes as a number I don't recognize starts calling. I might as well answer and cuss out whoever decided to play on my phone tonight.

"Who the fuck is this? What the fuck you want? Didn't I tell y'all gotdamn telemarketers, to quit calling me? Every damn day y'all calling about a damn car warranty! Bitch, all my cars paid for and I don't have shit to do with no warranty of yours! Run them scams somewhere else!" I curse them out. I get sick of that shit.

"Oh, wow. It's actually Harper," she tells me. I don't like her ass neither, but imma keep my rude comments to myself. It's not like she rubs me wrong to where I feel like she doesn't have my son's best interest at heart. I know she loves him and he loves her too because nobody ever made him change before. She helped him through alcoholism and at this point, he chooses to be sober and not smoke no more neither. I know he doesn't cheat on her. She's a good girl, but I just can't see her as strong enough. She let Shai fuck him up in front of everybody and she didn't defend him. I don't give a damn how classy a woman is. You supposed to always step and stand ten toes down for your man, especially if he's good to you and would've done the same.

"What's going on?" I ask her. "Ummm... well, I think you should come to Noble's house." She says. "Why?" I ask. I swear it's always some shit. I hope that boy didn't try to commit suicide again. I don't know what it is about me and Ant, but for whatever reason, we made some suicidal ass children.

"I just think you should come. Come fast too." She says. "No, nigga, no!" I hear Majesty raising his voice in the background. I just hung up on her so I can get ready. Relaxing just don't exist in my world. It has to be crazy for her to call me.

I just walked downstairs where KeKe is. He came over to do something for Ant. "I need you to take me somewhere." I tell him. "Where?" He asks. "To Noble's house. I'm too drunk to drive over there and that girl Harper just called for me to come." I say. He looks at me funny. "What the hell Majesty girl doing at Noble house?" He asks. "Majesty was there because I heard him," I answer. He nods his head.

We've been riding for a while. I somewhat started sobering up on the long ass thirty minute drive to the house. We just pulled up. I see Ant's car in the driveway. "His goofy-ass could've answered the phone." I blurt out, making KeKe laugh. Ant just hopped out of his car at the same time as us. He's looking just as confused as I am.

"Harper called you too?" I ask him. He nods his head yes. "Yeah. You still been drinking?" He asks. I chuckle as I nod my head yes. He wraps his arms around my waist as we walk into the house. All I hear is yelling and commotion coming from upstairs. We all just ran in that direction.

"What the fuck?" Ant hollers. Noble has Jaylah damn near over the rail of the patio. The craziest part of all is how this nigga got a fucking sword at her neck. Not a regular knife, not a gun, but a mothafucking sword. I done seen it all. He got one of those long ass Mortal Kombat type weapons. His face is red and looks like he's been crying.

"Let me go!" Jaylah screams, crying hysterically. Her face is fucked up and bloody like she got the ass beating of a lifetime. "Noble, get your ass off her!" I yell at him. His crazy ass just pointed that sword at me. "Move, ma! Nobody can save this bitch!" He yells at me. "Look, nigga, I don't know what the fuck you going through but you better move that damn sword up out yo momma face before I hurt you," Ant warns him, stepping closer. Noble puts the sword back to Jaylah's neck.

"Now, ma, you know I won't cut you. But her? Oh, this bitch getting beheaded. You know you supposed to chop a snake's head off anyway," he says, grinning. He looks like a maniac! Now, I understand my son ain't mentally stable and he got it from his daddy. Yes, he takes a few pills a day, but this shit? Oh, Noble is off his damn rocker.

"The fuck is this, Medieval Times? Why you trying to behead your baby momma?" Ant asks. Harper is looking scared out of her mind balled up in the corner. Majesty is keeping a safe distance, but judging how his shirt is wrinkled and how his face is red, him and Noble must've thrown hands at some point with him trying to diffuse this.

"Tell them why! Tell them, bitch!" Noble screams as tears roll down his face. Not no regular scream, but a scream from the soul. Whatever she did must've cut him deep because he's crying out like a child who just got his ass beat by his momma. My baby is crushed and I wonder why. I know she was cheating on him which is why Noble hit her in the mouth after she wanted to jump stupid when she got caught. He already went to jail for hitting her back, so I don't know if it's related to that. Either way, he don't need to be assaulting a woman.

"Whatever the issue is can be worked out, Noble. Please, let her go. Take a deep breath and think about this logically. Think from an open standpoint, not an emotional one," Harper finally speaks up in a soothing tone. She slowly approaches Noble, trembling. He isn't saying anything as he stares at Harper. "This shit can't be worked out. Harper, get the fuck out my damn face with all that therapist bullshit! You think I'm crazy! Don't talk to me like I'm a nut case!" He starts going off on her out of nowhere.

"Aye, chill the fuck out!" Majesty hollers, rushing at Noble. Noble moves the sword away from Jaylah to keep from stabbing Majesty. KeKe and Ant quickly rush over to Noble, knocking him down. "Come here!" I demand, grabbing Jaylah and pulling her away while Ant and KeKe wrestle with Noble. Majesty grabs the sword and rushes out of the room with it.

"What the fuck did you do?" I yell at Jaylah. She's standing there crying with blood and shit rolling down her face, looking a hot mess. I don't think for a second she's innocent. I know it had to be terrible for him to act how he did. He wouldn't have done this shit for cheating or something small. He still wasn't justified in his actions no matter what though.

"I can't tell you!" She sobs. The door just swung open. Noble's running out of it. "Tell her!" He hollers at Jaylah, being held back by Ant and KeKe. "No! It's not true!" She cries, falling to her knees in front of him. "Bitch! Get up!" He hollers. This nigga just kicked the girl in her face. "Uh uh! Hell mothafuckin naw!" I scream, hitting Noble in his chest. "You and all this abusive shit is over with! Calm your ass down!" I add.

"You trippin'. You really trippin' right now." KeKe says in disbelief. "Noble, something ain't right! It had to be defective!" Jaylah pleads. "Tell everybody how Honor ain't even my damn son! Bitch you gon' die tonight!" Noble snaps, punching the wall over and over. His ass just headbutted the wall so many times, he put a hole in it. He's screaming to the top of his lungs and just banging his head. Ant wrestled to bear hug him. I don't know what to say. "Stop, Noble. Calm down, son. It's gone be okay. Calm down," Ant says calmly, hugging Noble tight. Noble is hyperventilating and trying to cuss through heavy breathing. I can't stop crying. This is hurting me so bad.

"What you mean Honor ain't your son?" KeKe finally asks after an awkward silence filled the room when Ant got Noble somewhat calm. "I mean what I said. I had a DNA test done and the bitch got a whole other baby daddy! The hoe already put up a fight the whole time she was pregnant about who I was fucking! I already caught her in pictures of her with Honor and some nigga!" Noble goes off. "He is yours! Something had to be a mix-up!" Jaylah lies. I know she's lying. I can see straight through her.

I'm mad as hell and disappointed as fuck in both of them. That was some evil ass shit for her to do. He ain't perfect, but damn. And I love that baby so much. I'm genuinely hurt. Everybody loves him and to think he really doesn't even belong to us really feels terrible. I want to cry for Noble because Lord knows he loves that baby and before he gives that child up to whoever his real father is, he'll kill her and the nigga.

Come to think about it, it was clear all along that Noble wasn't that child's daddy. Honor is light-skinned and has curls in his hair, so he passed for Noble's son. The older he started getting, the more he looked less and less like him. Ant has strong genes and all of the kids and grandkids look a lot like him. Honor looked much different, but I assumed some of his features came from his momma's side because sometimes genetics work like that.

"It wasn't no gotdamn mixup, bitch! I intentionally had four tests done just to make sure and none of them said I was that boy's daddy!" Noble hollers. Jaylah is just trembling and crying to herself. "Everybody, let's take a break and you can revisit it when it calms down some," Harper says. I understand she's trying to help, but I wish she would shut her damn mouth. She doesn't even know either one of them and I just feel like her input is not needed.

"Mind your fucking business!" Jaylah starts taking her anger out on Harper, lunging at her out of nowhere. Jaylah just hit that girl in her face, knocking her down because Jaylah is twice the size of Harper. "Stop this shit!" I yell, rushing to break them up while they fight. Harper might be skinny, but her little ass is going to work on Jaylah. "Naw, don't break them up! Hit the bitch in her temple!" Noble yells to Harper. I'm not believing this right now.

Majesty is wrestling with Harper to break them up. "Let me go, Majesty! Bitch, I should kill you!" Harper screams, rushing to Jaylah.

BOOM!!

Everybody just stopped at the sound of a gunshot. I look over at Ant. He's standing there with his gun smoking after he just shot into the ceiling. "Calm y'all mothafuckin' asses down right the fuck now before I shoot this mothafucka up!" He starts hollering. Everybody just got quiet, even my crazy ass son Noble.

Ant looks at Jaylah. "Don't stand here and lie. Who the hell is that child daddy? Don't even say Noble because to keep shit real, I been knew he wasn't my son baby, I just didn't ever say shit because it wasn't my place," Ant says. Ant never got really close to Honor and I thought it was weird, but now I know why. "It's not true," Jaylah mumbles. "Yes the fuck it is true! I DNA test every child my sons have, imma just be honest. Ion mean no harm, but this ain't a broke-ass bloodline and my sons ain't nobody's fuckin' meal tickets. So yea, I test the kids. I did a grandparents DNA test and Honor don't have a lick of my blood in him. Noble and everybody just loved him and I did too, so I kept that to myself. Jaylah, quit lying. Every time I saw yo face from the day I got those results to this day, I've been wanting to shoot the shit out of you! Stop this gotdamn lying!" Ant goes off. Oh, Lord. I did not know this man tested all the kids except Reign's daughter because duh, we knew she was blood.

"What the fuck would you keep that from me for?" Noble cries to Ant, sounding heartbroken. "Suck it up, Noble, damn! I didn't give a fuck what that test said! I saw how you loved yo son and I knew that whether you knew the shit or not, it wasn't about to change your love for him! You'd kill and die for that lil boy, and for that reason, I left it alone! I figured you'd find out when you needed to cause it wasn't my place to say shit. Why do you think I kept on pressuring you to DNA test him?" Ant asks. That's true. Ant was always on Noble's ass about getting a DNA test done on Honor. I didn't know why, but now I do.

"That's fucked up. You could've told me," Noble breaks down crying, dropping to his knees. "You'll be aight." Ant says. "Come on, get back up, it's okay," KeKe says, pulling Noble up. I can't stop crying as I watch KeKe and Majesty wrap their arms around him. Noble is just crying, but I'm grateful for my sons being there to help him right now. I feel like as men, they can uplift him in ways that I can't. When he's ready to come to me like he always does, I'll be there with open arms. I just don't want to force it.

I look over at Jaylah. She's standing there looking stupid as fuck and by stupid as fuck, I do mean stupid as fuck. She just looks goofy. The more I look at her, I just wanna break my foot off in her ass. I told myself I would stay in my lane because I'm not perfect and my kids are grown, but it's hard to do that with my son crying like a baby because a bitch he loved knew good and well that she was pregnant by somebody else. That hoe would've let him raise that boy if Noble never would've done that test.

"What the fuck were you DNA testing my fucking son for?" Jaylah screams at Ant. "Hold on now, hoe. Don't get beside yourself," I warn her. She better watch her gotdamn mouth talking to my husband before I show her how I really feel. "I'm just saying, that's so messed up! Who is he to test my child behind my back?" Jaylah tries to flip it around on Ant. "Bitch, shut the hell up! Don't play dumb! If you were a multi-billionaire like I am and it was a girl running around claiming yo son knocked her up, you would test the fucking baby too! You got the game fucked up!" Ant goes in on her. I typically would have tried to get him chill, but in this case, fuck being cool about it.

"Jaylah, was the nigga in the picture the daddy?" Noble asks. She shakes her head no. "Then who is it then, bitch? Say that shit!" Noble hollers at her. She opens her mouth then closes it. "Cat got your tongue?" I ask. Ain't nobody got time for that. She still ain't saying anything. "We must be playing the quiet game? You already played the pin the baby on the rich nigga game, so let's not play games no more. Keep that shit a hunned," Ant says. "Jaylah, just say it, damn," KeKe says much calmer than everybody else. Who Honor's real daddy is is the million-dollar question right now.

"Tyler!" she blurts out, confusing the fuck out of me. Me, Ant, and Harper may be confused, but KeKe and Majesty's mouths are both hung open and they look shocked. Noble on the other hand looks like some damn devil horns are about to come out the top of his head or something. "Oh bitch, on my momma imma kill yo ass!" Noble goes into a rage. I tried to stop him, but he grabbed her by the throat and he's squeezing. "Stop!" Ant hollers, trying to pull her off. Noble roughly shoved Jaylah. "I ain't believing this shit! A nigga that work at Applebees took my bitch and knocked her up? You ain't shit! That was that nigga you had in yo apartment and you lied like you never fucked him! I ain't knocking the hustle, but Applebee's? You the dumbest hoe alive!" Noble starts spazzing.

"He doesn't work at Applebee's, he's a franchise owner by day and a drug dealer by night," Jaylah reveals. "Let me tell you something, Jaylah. Before you take Honor out my life and let that nigga raise him, I'll kill all us," Noble threatens. "Ain't no killing all of us. Speak for yourself," Majesty's dumb ass chimes in. "Naw, Imma kill her ass first, the nigga, my son, and myself," Noble says. He's so out of it. I know he doesn't mean that. "That's way too far," I say. Noble starts crying as he storms out the room. "I'll go check on him," Harper announces, getting crazy looks from everybody. "No you won't, miss thang. The twin that you should be concerned about is right next to you," I shut that down. After that mess with Majesty and Drew, I'm trying to avoid that. Nothing good would come out of Noble and Majesty beefing.

"I was just trying to help," Harper says. I do not like her. I know what her and Majesty have is real, but something about her seems slutty and thirsty even though she acts uppity. "I got him," Ant says before walking out of the room. Lord. If it ain't one thing, it's another.

REIGN

I'm home in my room watching Poetic Justice. I already gave Reiylah her bath then put her to sleep, so I have some alone time now. I was having such a good time on my date with Qua. I really didn't want to go out with him, but I enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting him to eat my pussy in front of the live band though. That was some shit that wasn't on my bucket list but definitely belonged on it. I was a little upset it had to abruptly end. He sent me a text a couple of hours ago saying my daddy needed him and I understand that he literally cannot turn my dad down when it comes to business. I was still sad though. I ignored all his calls and texts telling me he'd come and get me to go to his house. I'm not even in the mood to go Not because he left, but because I feel like I'm making the same mistakes from the past again.

I can freely fuck who I choose to, but I don't know if I'm ready for the emotional roller coaster. Qua really hurt me when he cheated on me which was why we broke up a long time ago. It hurt so bad because I never saw him hurting me like that. For that, I'm apprehensive and just running from him in general. I've been single and sex-free on purpose. On top of that, I'm being honest with myself. Even though I know good and well that being with Drew would be at the top of my list of dumb decisions, I'm not completely over him. I'm over him enough to know that it won't work, but I'm still stuck in some ways because every single time I see him with Shai, I get jealous.

I don't show it because that's just giving Drew what he wants and I know I need to move on with my life like I've been doing. I can't even be mad if they decide to get back in a relationship because she wasn't his girlfriend, that girl was his wife when I started back fucking with him. I would never disrespect myself or another woman by messing with her husband again, but learning is a part of life. Shai didn't deserve that shit and even though it happened and me and Drew got Reiylah out of it, I hope Shai finds her happiness even if it's with him. She's done her fair share of shit that got on my nerves, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. She deserves her happy ending and I deserve whatever is meant for my life, even if that's with a new man. I do think she's way better than Drew though, I will admit that. he treated her like shit and realistically, all drama aside, Shai is beautiful and could pull whatever nigga she wants, but she doesn't see herself the way that everybody sees her when she walks into a room.

I'm in tears sitting here self-reflecting and facing hard truths. I'm not saying I could ever just be her best friend because I wouldn't want to be friends with a bitch that fucked my husband and got pregnant, but I don't want anymore beef. I don't give a fuck about what mistakes my parents made any more neither. I'm done holding grudges toward my mom from all the times we said stuff we didn't mean, fought, or the times she hurt me without knowing. I'm just accepting the fact that they both came from hard lives. My daddy spent a lot of his young life with nobody to care about him and sleeping on corners. My momma grew up house to house getting abused with no real love. I realized that they gave us love in the ways they knew how to because nobody taught them how to, so they had to wing it. They gave us one hell of a life and for that, they deserve respect alone. Their goods outweigh their bads. I'll never blame my choices on what they used to do ever again because now that I'm a parent, I've realized that it's hard to be flawed, but still try to be Wonder Woman to my daughter. She loves me and Drew. She looks at us like we're perfect when we're both fucked up. So, now that I know better from experience, I can't keep being mad at them.

I'm really in my feelings as I look through my old pictures. Pictures of me and Wendy especially just broke my heart because even though we weren't on good terms, we were friends before all the sex and shit. She didn't deserve to die with my brother Presley that day. The way Jah did her was so fucked up. My family was crazy as hell and my daddy was Captain Crazy himself, but after how they tortured and killed his ass, I'm grateful for how my people are.

I'm smiling at all of the old memories. Back when it was just me and my big brothers, it was so fun but crazy. We used to fight and everything. I'm laughing at a picture of Montana holding both Noble and Majesty upside down while I held his leg. I also forgive him for the whole Tae situation. Him and my mom may have gone their separate ways a long time ago and remained friends, but I can't ever take away his credit. Fuck a step daddy, Montana was like a real father to us. I never should've felt comfortable disrespecting him the way I did neither. This shit got me ready to call everybody and tell them I'm so sorry for everything.

I just snapped a picture of my Grandpa Nathan and my daddy back in the day when I was still a baby. They were in the hospital room after my mom had me. Man, all these memories just remind me of how life short is. Life is just passing us by so fast. It makes me want to just hug everybody tighter. Now I'm dying laughing at the picture of Tae and LaLa when they were little. They were draped in Diamonds. Both of them wore matching cuban link chains with some big ass pendants covered in Diamonds with their names on them. The even funnier part was the popular jeweler Johnny Dang posing between them. Johnny Dang was iced out and even had a grill in his mouth. It was funny as hell to even see. Tae and LaLa's little asses thought they were the shit.

We had a bunch of pictures with a whole bunch of famous and wealthy people. I stopped at a picture of me and Drew. It was our prom night. I had sex and got pregnant that night. It just made memories come rushing back. I was so happy that day. I even met Miguel that night. I've spent so much time stressing over dumb shit to where I didn't even take time to appreciate all the good times I've had.

I lean over then kiss Reiylah on her cheek. She's still sleeping, but she's the closest person that I can show my love to right now. I don't know if it's just the liquor in my cup that's making me cry and think, but that's all I've been doing. I went to my mom and dad's room to apologize or fall asleep with them since their bed was big enough for me and Reiylah to fit. They're not home though.

Somebody's lightly knocking at my door. It's most likely my little brother Amari because he tends to sleep in here with us a lot. He doesn't say. word, he just climbs in my bed whenever he comes in here. I get up then open it. It's far from Amari, it's Drew. He's dressed in some Ralph Lauren Polo pajama pants and a tank top. He got his phone, keys, a blunt, and a bottle of Hennessey with him. He looks stressed out. I don't know who let him in. He's just standing here staring at me. I wish I would've had clothes on because I literally only have on panties and a cami. I just walked away from him and headed to my dresser so I can get something more appropriate. I'm not trying to seduce nobody and I'm done letting niggas see me naked when they didn't work for it.

He walks in then closes and locks the door behind him. I can feel him watching me as I go through my drawer. "What you trying to put on some clothes for like this my first time seeing you in panties?" Drew asks, walking over to me. I ignore him as I pull out the thickest pair of pajama pants I own so I can cover everything. He takes them then throws them. He got his arms wrapped around my waist from behind and his hard dick pressed up against my ass.

"Drew, get off me. Why are you here?" I ask. He moves away then sits on my bed. He's just staring at me looking like he's in deep thought. He opens the bottle of Henny then takes a shot out the bottle. "You want some?" he asks. I nod my head yes. I tilted my head back so he could pour it in my mouth. We're just chilling and taking turns hitting the bottle. I'm feeling good as hell right now.

"You wanna smoke?" he asks. I shrug my shoulders. We just walked out on the balcony my room has. He lights it then starts smoking it. I'm so damn drunk right now. I knew better than to be drinking brown liquor because it makes me want to party and shit. He passes me the blunt then sits down. He pulls me down on his leg while I hit it.

"Why you had to go and fuck yo ex? You know a nigga wasn't even getting no pussy since you had the baby? I've been all about you and Reiylah... still am, but my feelings fucked up. I'll admit that," he says out of nowhere. Yep, Drew is drunk. "It was one of those heat of the moment type things, you know? I was horny and he caught me at a vulnerable time since I hadn't fucked since I was pregnant," I tell him the truth. "Yeah, I hear you, but why couldn't you fuck me? You know I was doing nothing but showing you that I was serious about being together and that I was on my family shit. I ain't mad at you no more, but I wanna be with you." he admits. Niggas can't ever just vibe with me without confessing their love and shit.

"Okay, Drew. You were just in Shai's face acting like you want to work it out with her. So, why you in my face? I know all about how you were at the restaurant with Shai when y'all bumped into my family. Jessie already told me about how you were going out your way to make Majesty feel a way because we all know he got feelings for your ex wife," I point out.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Fuck that shit, Reign. You think I prefer her over you? The past is the past and I was wrong for how I did her, but her heart ain't with me. You don't think I know that already? Truth be told, I really do hope Majesty drop the Harper bitch and get back with Shai. All bullshit, anger, and hurt feelings aside; I think that shit was supposed to happen because the way they feel about each other is obvious as fuck. I see it every time they around each other. The few times i did kick it with Shai on petty shit, she wasn't fucking with me like that but she was openly in her feelings over Majesty having a new bitch. Believe it or not, she actually be venting to me about him and I vent to her about you. We on some friends shit like how we were before I ever married her," he explains.

"You expect me to believe you and your ex wife are basically venting to each other about the people y'all both cheated on each other with who just so happen to be siblings?" I ask. He chuckles. "Damn, that's a funny way to look at it, but yeah." he answers as he puts the blunt out. I don't have anything else to say, so I just walked back into my room. My baby is still sleeping, so I'm about to take a quick shower because I don't want to cuddle her smelling like weed. I try my hardest to not expose her to certain stuff because my daddy and uncle used to smoke heavy around us and had us ready to hit blunts as toddlers. I just feel like I got introduced to so much too soon, but once again, they didn't know any better.

I'm in the shower singing along to Usher's song Superstar. My shower has a built in speaker and I be seriously having concerts in this hoe. The door just opened and I already know that it's Drew's creepy ass. He pulls back the shower curtain then climbs in without asking if he can or nothing. I'm trying my best to ignore his naked, fully tatted body and his hard dick that's literally pointing at me.

"Drew, get the fuck out!" I demand. The only reason it's turning me on is because the liquor and weed in my system is just amplifying the feelings I have, sexually too. "Why? I'm just tryna wash my ass. You know how you are about your bed smelling like weed," he says, grinning. "Look, Drew. Another nigga just ate my pussy in front of a live band a few hours ago. If I'm not even giving that nigga no pussy tonight, what the hell makes you think I'm giving you some?" I ask. He looks offended. "I just whacked my own cousin for you. I don't have a family other than yo family, my lil brother, and my daughter. That was my only relative that even knew I existed, but I killed my cousin," he starts slurring out as he stares at me. His eyes just teared up a little, but Drew being Drew, he ain't about to let those tears fall.

"What?" I ask. "My cousin shot at you over Miguel. Yo dad, uncle, and Tez called me and Qua out the blue. Blick and his girl was tied up. Qua beat the nigga ass and shit. I just killed him because shit, what nigga gon' let another nigga breathe after he shot at his baby mom? Shit was a wrap. Other than my lil girl, I don't love nobody more than you. You ain't hearing me though," he says. "You love Sean more than me," I say, just being petty. He chuckles. "That lil nigga don't love me more than he love yo sister LaLa. You know they was fucking in my crib earlier?" he asks, shocking me. "I don't even wanna know," I say. LaLa might as well say she's bi sexual because for her to be fucking a boy is a huge step.

He sits on the bench that my shower has. He's just watching me shower while he plays with his dick. "If you hadn't seen me naked before, I would be so creeped out," I tell him, turning to face him. This water feels so good rolling down my skin. I'm so high and drunk right now, everything feels good. I have that same feeling I used to have when I first started smoking weed because it's been so long since I've smoked for real. I changed a lot of my ways.

Drew is just staring at my pussy while the water glides down it. He's beating his meat faster. I almost want to start laughing because the nigga looks like he's about to jump off the damn bench, that's how hard he's beating his shit. He moves his hand then drops down on his knees in front of me. "Drew, what are you doing? Quit!" I demand, moving away. He grabs my legs trying to hold me in place. My eyes just rolled back at the feeling of him sucking my extra sensitive clit. "Stooooop," I moan, pushing him away.

I can't do this. Drew literally hasn't done anything wrong. He's right, from the day I had the baby, he has been all about me and her. If he's not in my face, he's constantly calling. I hurt him when I slept with Qua, but I'm scared to take it there with Drew. With Qua, I knew I'd be able to disconnect my feelings because he genuinely broke me at a time when I needed him the most. With Drew, I don't know if it'll be that simple because I have real feelings for him that somewhat secretly blossomed just watching him being a family man for me and Reiylah even though I turn him down. Maybe, I'm scared of ending up looking stupid. Either way, he's breaking me down right now while he eats my pussy while he grips my ass.

I just came so damn hard, his face is soaking wet. I pull away from him then turn away so can finish my shower. I hop out then wrap my towel around myself. He's just standing there staring at me. He walks closer then pulls the towel down. He opens my baby oil then starts rubbing it on me. "Drew, I can't..." I mumble. "You can't what? You know I changed for the better. You know I don't have a single bitch I've fucked or talked to since you had the baby. You know I'll drop whatever and be with you. You know I know what I want for my life now. No hoes or none of that stupid shit. I want you, Reign. So, why can't you? You know I know you want me to, but you scared of what I did in the past. You scared of what everybody might say about you. I know that, but if it's us against the world, who gives a fuck what a mothafucka got to say?" he asks. I'm trying so hard to not cry.

He kisses my lips. "Think about it." he tells me before putting his clothes on and walking out the bathroom. I finished my hygiene and walked back in my room. He's sitting at my computer desk looking at some of the pictures from the album I had out. He starts smiling at the prom pictures. I just climbed back in my bed. He gets in then pulls me and Reiylah in his arms the same way he's been doing since the day she came home from the hospital. He always sleeps with us protectively in his arms and the only time he hasn't was after I fucked Qua.

Somebody starts banging on my bedroom door. Drew gets up then opens it. It's my Uncle Vonte. I don't know when he got over here and why he's here so late, but he looks sad as fuck. I actually think my uncle has tears in his eyes and I've never just seen him crying before. He looks at Drew then at me. "Be in the living room in five minutes," he says before walking away. His usual playful demeanor is gone. Something ain't right for it to be this late at night. He's rarely here at this time and even if he is, he never comes to my room.

We grabbed the baby and now we're down in the living room. I feel so out of place because I'm drunk as hell in a room full of sober people. My whole family for the most part is in here, even Tae and Montana. I'm confused as fuck just like everybody else. I can tell all my siblings must've gotten woken up too because they drove over here in pajamas and shit. Qua is even here staring a hole through me. Majesty brought Harper, but she's knocked out sleep with her head across his lap. Shai is on the other couch and her and Majesty are mean mugging the hell out of each other.

My Uncle, mom, and dad just walked in here. "What's going on?" Jessie asks. My mom's whole face is red so I know she has been crying. Even my dad looks all fucked up about something. "Um, sorry to call everybody this late," my mom's voice cracks. I look over at my Uncle Darius who has tears streaming down his face, so he must already know what's going on. I'm scared as fuck right now. "Well, Nathan died a couple hours ago," my dad says, sounding like it's taking everything in him to not cry. Everybody's even gasping, crying, or yelling and shit. I'm just sitting here in shock. He gotta be playing. No, now that I think about it, Grandpa Nathan is the only person not here.

"Please say you're lying. Please don't be for real," I beg as Drew wraps his arms around me. My dad shakes his head no, wiping his eyes. "What the fuck are you talking about? How?" Noble starts yelling. I look over at Majesty. He fucked around and pushed Harper on the floor. His face is in his hands as he cries. My Grandpa Nathan acted more like a grandfather than my Granddaddy Antonio ever did. It ain't no way.

"Nathan has had colon cancer for the past few years. We knew, but he didn't want to scare y'all or to be a burden. He wanted y'all to keep living and making memories which was why he was always recording things, baby sitting your kids, or randomly calling and wanting to see y'all. He was already in his eighties and his doctor had already told him that there wasn't much left to do because the cancer was so bad. He passed away peacefully in his sleep," my mom tells us, wiping her face.

Me and all my siblings are ugly crying right now. It's not a dry eye in this room right now. I can't wrap my mind around it. Him calling me that time and telling me about his will makes sense. I just thought he was just talking just to talk. Gotdamn, I'm so hurt right now. I thought men broke my heart, but no, this shit broke me. My heart literally hurts. Not my Grandpa Nathan. I'll never be able to get over this.

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