If you didn't read the "Don't Judge Me" chapter, do it now cause it plays a huge part in the book.

MAKE SURE YALL COMMENT, IT'S 4
REALLY MOTIVATION

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"Boy I just can't do this." - K. Michelle

REIGN

"Reign, yo booty shaped like a shrimp." Jah says, making me laugh. "So is your lil tiny ding a ling." I say.

He came over my house a little while ago. I let him in here. Noble is at the mall, KeKe is with his friend Khari, and the rest of my siblings are with my uncle. So, we're all alone in my brother, Majesty's bedroom.

"I can show you it ain't no shrimp. I'll break yo back in four pieces with it." he says. "Ew, no. I'm not interested." I say. His phone starts ringing. "Who is that?" I ask. "My bitch." he answers, ignoring her call. I push him back on my brother's bed then straddle his lap. I don't care about him having a girlfriend. I owe her no loyalty, he's the one breaking promises to her bum ass.

"Reign, what you doin'?" he asks, smirking. "I don't know. I'm going with the flow." I admit, feeling butterflies in my stomach. He grips my waist. "Go with the flow and let me fuck. Come on." he mumbles, then gently kisses my chest. "Okay." I mumble.

He flips me over on the bottom then kisses my neck. I lean up to kiss him. I've never had my first kiss so this is the perfect moment. He turns his head. "Why you turn your head? I wanna kiss you." I say. "What?I ain't kissing you, we straight fuckin'." he says.

"Whatever."  I say. "Hurry up and take yo clothes off, I'm losing patience." he says with an attitude. The sound of a gun cocking makes my eyes widen. He climbs off me then quickly stands up.  "Ma?" I yell in shock, staring at my mom as she holds a gun. She walks straight up to Jah. "You in here trying to use my daughter, huh? Sick ass bitch, I know about niggas like you and I refuse to let yo bum, bitch ass trick my baby out." my mom says, putting her gun under his chin.

I start crying as she smirks as he closes his eyes tight. "How that shit feel, huh?" she calmly asks him, moving the loaded gun across his forehead. "You a pussy, Jah. She know you got a baby? Bitch, my daughter will not become your next baby momma." she snaps. "A baby?" I choke out, completely hurt. "She hopped on me tryin to ride it, fuck I look like?" he asks, earning a pistol whip in his jaw from my mom. "Watch your fucking mouth!" she snaps, then slaps him in his face with the gun again.

"You better quit hitting me, real shit!" he yells, balling his fists up. "And if she don't, the fuck you gone do lil bitch ass mothafucka?" my dad asks him, walking in here holding a loaded shot gun, pointing it at Jah.

"Stop it! It's not his fault!" I cry.  "Fucking shut up, Reign." my mom demands. I watch, wide eyed as my mom snatches him out Majesty's room by his neck. "You lil dirty ass bastard! You will not disrespect my house like that!" my mom yells, then pushes him down the stairs.

I start crying harder as my mom and dad jump him at the bottom of the stairs. "Stop, please!" I beg them, trying to pull my dad away as he stomps on Jah. "Hell naw! You put them damn hickeys on my baby! She just turned fifteen, you finna turn eighteen, punk ass nigga! Fuck you thought?" my dad snaps.

The front door opens. My granddaddy Nathan rushes in. "Granddaddy, stop them!" I beg. He glances over there. "Ain't that that Jah boy?" he asks. "Yes, granddad, they're hurting him." I cry. He starts laughing. "Aw, hell. Let me record this." he says, pulling his old, flip phone out his pocket.

My parents finally stop. "Now, get yo dusty ass out!" my mom snaps as he limps out the front door. "Why would yall do something like that?" I scream at them. "Simple. Don't question me." my dad answers. "Imma do what I want!" I yell at him. "Disrespect your daddy one more time and see what happen to yo ass!" my mom yells at me with her finger pointed in my face.

"You need to start respecting yo parents, baby. They ain't gone be here with you forever." my granddaddy Nathan says, pulling me in a hug. "You know what, go pack your damn suitcase. Yall going out of town." my dad snaps at me, then walks upstairs.

"Where we going?" I ask my mom. "Memphis. It's not exactly a fun place to live or anything but I'm really at peace when I'm there." my mom answers. "No. I wanna stay with daddy. I don't wanna go." I say. "Ant!" my mom yells. My dad runs down the stairs with a blunt in his mouth. "Yeah? Hell you yelling about?" he asks her. "She don't wanna go. Let her stay here, I don't give a fuck." my mom says, pissing me off even more.

"You need to learn how to talk to me. You get on my damn nerves, always bitching." I say. She draws back then slaps the shit out of me. "And you need to learn how to keep your eyes off vagına." she says, making me madder. I push her into the wall. "Bitch, fuck you!" I scream, then punch her in her mouth.

"Aw, hell naw." she says, then punches me in my jaw hard as hell. My body rocks back as she throws punches. I swing at her face then grab her hair. "Get off of me!" I scream as she punches me. I swear I'm in a daze. She hits so fucking hard.

"No, you lil disrespectful bitch! I'll be damned!" she screams, banging my head to the floor. "Jessica, quit!" I hear my dad yell as I black out. She's squeezing my neck while banging my head and I feel myself slowly losing consciousness. "I sat my mothafuckin ass in labor all them fucking hours pushing yo big headed ass out and worked hard as fuck raising you and you got the nerve to hit me! Oh fuck no, I'm killing yo ass!" she yells as my eyes close.

I gasp loudly as she lets go. "Get off me, Ant!" she screams at my dad as he holds her in the air. "No! I don't give a fuck about what she did, you not killing my child!" he yells. I quickly rush to my daddy then grab his leg, crying hard. "Nigga, fuck you and your stupid ass daughter! Ain't no child of mine finna put they hands on me! Fuck both of yall! You ain't shit and she ain't either! Both of yall get on my nerves with this mothafuckin shit! Yall treat me like crap then come apologize! I'm tired! And guess what, you stupid ass nigga? I paid the doctor, bitch, she is Montana's! But best believe you going on child support for the rest of these kids, low down dirty ass bastard!" my mom yells, totally blacking out.

"Ma, how could you do something like that?" I scream at her. "Fuck you. I'm gone. I'm getting my kids that appreciate me and we out!" she yells. "The fuck you say, Jessica?" my dad asks her. "You heard me, psychotic mothafucka!" she yells. He snatches her up by her hair then slams her into the wall. "You wanna play with me like that? Had me fathering this fucking girl her whole life then lied like she was mine? Hell naw." he yells, pulling his gun on her.

"Dad, quit!" I scream, trying to help granddaddy Nathan stop him. "Putting a hole between her eyes won't change nothing. Stop it, young buck. Give me the gun." he calmly says. "I hate this dumb ass hoe, on god!" my dad yells, putting it dead between her eyes. I scream in fear as she stares in his eyes like she isn't bothered. It's like she's possessed or some shit. She don't even look like herself.

"Do it, Ant. Yall killed me emotionally so long ago, so go ahead and pull the trigger? I already feel dead." she says without a care in the world. "Go ahead and put me out my misery. I've tried killing myself, I cut myself, and sometimes when yall are sleeping, I put the gun to my head ready to end it all. Go on and do it so I won't be miserable anymore, Ant. Do me right for once and kill me." she says, scaring the shit out of me. "It's sad when a person get to this point. Cut it out." Nathan says.

My dad stares her dead in her eyes for a little while longer, still holding the gun between her eyes. I watch in fear as he lowers it. He throws it across the room then snatches her into his arms. "Don't talk like that, Jessica, you scaring the shit outta me cause ion ever wanna live without you, whether you with me or not. I'm sorry for all the shit I did to you and I only did this out of spite. Jessica, do not hurt me like that, I don't want you dead." he admits, hugging her close as she cries hard.

"Mom, I'm so sorry." I say, walking to her. She pulls away from my dad then shakes her head. "Sorry isn't gonna work this time. And by the way, I only said what I said to make you mad. She's yours." she says, then walks out the front door.

My dad and I run after her. "Jessica, come on." my dad begs her. "Just forgive me, momma, please." I beg. She shakes her head. "I'm so fucked up. I can't even forgive myself for being a dumb ass, worthless bitch, so how am I supposed to forgive yall? I gotta go." she says, then gets in her car. I watch in pain as she pulls off.

"I don't think she coming back." I sob on my daddy's chest. "She will. She always will." he says to me but it seems like he's trying to convince himself more than me. "I hope." I mumble. My heart literally just broke into pieces.

NOBLE

"Uncle Vonte. I wanna have a child." Jessie randomly says, earning crazy ass looks from Majesty, my uncle, and I. "The fuck?" he asks. "I do. Think about it... I do a lot of stuff for Amari and he still a baby so I can do stuff for my own too." he says. "Jessie, you must got a hoe pregnant and trying to ease it in?" Uncle Vonte asks.

"Naw. I just wanna know what fatherhood is like. But I'm only seventeen, maybe when I'm twenty with a loyal bitch." he says. "Don't call women the b word. Montana said you don't do that to women you love." my little sister, LaLa says, doing her homework.

"Who asked you?" Majesty jokes, tickling her. "Nobody. Jessie, can I have a dollar?" she asks, smiling in his face. "For?" Jessie asks. "So I can pay this boy to do my homework cause I'm confused." she whines, playing with one of her pigtails. "Eight year old homework is not hard." Uncle Vonte says. "She is eight so duh it's gone be hard for her, Unc." I say, chuckling.

"Whatever. Come here, lil mothafucka. I'll help you." he says, making me laugh. "You should never have kids." Majesty says. "Hell yeah. You and my daddy crazy as hell." I say, shaking my head. "Shut the fuck up. Aight, so you confused about what parallel and vertical is?" he asks. She nods her head.

"Fine. Horizontal is this." he says, showing her with his arms. "What? The sky must be falling if uncle Vonte know something." I say, dying laughing.

"Be quiet. I'm trying to learn." LaLa says, giggling. "Ok, LaLa. A whore is a nasty bitch with a wide pussy. Key word, wide. So, when you take yo test on this, remember a whore is wide. Whore and horizontal sound a like, think of it that way.  And vertical is up and down. A virgin is a girl who has never had sex. Some virgins will give head instead of sex. Their heads go up and down when they do it,  just like a vertical line. Virgin and vertical sound alike, you get it, mothafucka?" my uncle asks her. She stands then demonstrates a horizontal line with her arms. "Horizontal, whore, means wide. Vertical, virgin, head, up and down. I get it now." she says.

I start dying laughing as she repeats it to remember it. "Uncle Vonte, she gone get a suspension." Majesty says, in tears laughing. "Hell naw. I bet her ass get an A. That's how I taught that shit to myself when I was her age. Lowkey, I can be a good ass daddy. I'm finna find a child to adopt, excuse me." he says, then walks to the back. He walks back in with his laptop. "You for real?" I ask as he searches adoption stuff. "Maybe." he answers. "God help that child." Jessie mumbles, doing a cross over his chest with his fingers.

I start dying laughing. My phone starts ringing. It's my mom. I instantly answer then walk to the back of the house so they won't clown me for being so soft when it comes to my momma. "Hey baby." she says. "Hey. Wassup, ma?" I ask her, excited to hear her. "Would you be mad at me if I did what I gotta do to be happy? Noble... would you care? Seems like you the only one around here genuinely caring about me." she says. "Ma? What's wrong? And you know I'll do anything to see you happy, what's up?" I ask, a little confused.

"I think I should leave for a while. A month, maybe. I just need to get away, baby." she says. I take a deep breath. "Ma, go ahead. Just FaceTime and call me all the time. You taking Amari?" I ask. "Yeah. Just me and Mari. Yall can visit me once I get situated. I might go to Texas. I'll text you tonight then we can put something together so I can see yall." she says. "Alright. Love you so much." I say. I swear I can literally feel her smile. "Love you too. Bye, baby." she says. "Bye." I say, then hang up.

Now I need answers. What the fuck pushed my momma to that point today? I got a strong feeling it had something to do with Reign. I'm honestly getting tired of her hurting my momma and being ungrateful. She lucky I haven't snapped on her ass to the max yet. She ain't far from getting it though. I try to be good and keep my hands off her but she got me fucked up. If my momma and daddy won't beat her ass for that disrespectful shit, I damn sure will once again.

JESSICA

"Fuck." I mumble, shaking in my car. I was on my way to the airport but I decided to turn around and go to the therapist Ant introduced me to. I'm in the parking lot extremely nervouse. I get out the car then walk in the building. I take a deep breath then open his office door.

He looks up.  "Jessica? What are you doing here? I was just about to leave." he says. I wipe my eyes. "Look... I'm tired of running from my pain and I wanna face it and get help. Can you please help me, Johnathan? Please..." I beg, trying so hard not to break down. He sits his brief case down on his desk then pulls his notebook out. "Please, sit. I can and I will help you. Did you have anywhere to be?" he asks. I sit down. "Well... I was gonna catch a flight but I'll do it later. Thanks." I say.  "What's going on?" he asks. I hope he's ready to listen because it's a lot I've been holding in and I need to vent. Venting to Montana is cool cause he keeps me right but I always end up fucking him in return so the professional help is better for me.  I'm fed up with being hurt and it's time to try to make myself happy instead of everybody else.

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MAKE SURE YALL COMMENT, IT'S 4
REALLY MOTIVATION

THE BOOK WILL GET KINDA WILD AT TIMES, FAIR WARNING.