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"Baby, don't let me down. Got a lot going on right now and I need you to hold me." - Janine and the mistake

ANT

I'm standing at the glass door, watching Jessica sit in the hot tub while watching Baby Boy on my outside projector movie screen.

I'm debating on whether I want to swallow my pride and talk to her. I'm about to go ahead and attempt. If it don't work out between us, at least I tried. Plus, I got something to tell her too.

I open the glass door then walk out there. I take my tank top off then get in the hot tub across from her. She picks up her glass of Hennessy then sips some of it. I look away from her. The way she staring at me holding that glass is creepy as hell. She got a look that says she wanna fuck and kill me at the same time. I think she a little drunk. "Well, hello to you." she says, then sips more out the glass.

"You scaring the shit out of me." I admit, picking my lighter up off the rim of the hot tub. I brought a blunt out here with me. I haven't been able to get a good smoke break until now. I light my blunt then put it to my lips. Jessica smacks it out my hand. I watch in annoyance as it flies all the way over to the swimming pool. I look at her crazy then slap her glass of Hennessy out of her hand. "Fuck you think this is?" I ask her, watching the glass break by the outside couch.

"What do you want?" she asks. "I wanted to talk but you honestly just irritated the shit out of me with what you just did. Stop acting like a child. It's like the older we get, the more childish you become and it's honestly pushing me further away from you and turning me the fuck off by the second." I tell her straight up. "Get right or get left, Jessica and I'm not fuckin' playing." I add.

She tilts her head to the side. She starts chuckling hard as hell. Now she full blown laughing. "I don't see what's funny." I dryly say. She gets out of the hot tub. "Get right or get left? Antasia you get funnier every time you open your lying ass mouth." she says, still laughing. I watch in silence as she walks over to the pool. "What the fuck?" I mumble, watching her swim a whole lap to the other side of the pool. This like the creepiest shit I ever seen in my whole life.

I watch in silence as she climbs out the pool. "Get right or get left? Bitch, I'm the mothafucka who always been there for you! Get right or get left my ass! I'm the one who let a nigga take me away from my kids and everybody in my fucking life except Torren and Tae and I'm the gotdamn person who let a nigga put a baby I didn't even want in me just so he wouldn't kill your mothafuckin' ass and you got the nerve to say some damn get right or get left? Nigga, fuck you! You don't appreciate me! You just concerned about your own hurt ass feelings! What about me? I'm going through more than your self centered ass will ever know, but I get called childish for my issues? Fuck you! Don't tell me no damn get right or get left! You'd be dead if I didn't have your back so don't sit here talking like I ain't there for you and like I suddenly ain't been the one holding you down all these years!" she yells at me, then roughly throws a lawn chair at me.

"What the fuck?" I snap, getting out the hot tub. I walk over to her. "Get right or get left? Who the fuck you talking to?" she yells. "You! I wasn't talking to myself. That's how I fucking feel. Either take my feelings into consideration or move the fuck on with your life. I'm so over all your stupid ass shit. I don't give no fuck about you throwing that dumb ass lawn chair. That ain't finna make me apologize. You know how many women out there looking for somebody like me? You can be replaced." I tell her.

"You ain't gone ever find another Jessica Ja'Mir Vaughn and I mean that shit! Name another bitch who gone go through what I been through to have your back! Them other hoes gone turn on your stupid ass like they always do then you gone come crawling the fuck back!" she snaps, then shoves me. "Never." I say.

She draws back then slaps the fuck out of me. I lick the inside of my jaw then chuckle. "Same ol Jessica. Can't handle the truth so you lash out or use your hands. Imma show you how I'm rockin' better than I can tell you." I say.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she asks with an attitude. "Matter fact, don't answer that. You the biggest hypocrite right now. How you gone talk about me lashing out using my hands when that's what you been on since I met your stupid ass? Rememeber you choked the fuck out of me over your ex hoe Polly which you cheated on me with during out marriage or how you said you wish I would've aborted the kids cause you didn't wanna deal with me? But I lash out though, right?" she yells. "Bruh, seriously? She dead as fuck! I killed her cause she was disrespectful when I was trying to fix our marriage! I know you ain't bringing up old shit, Jessica! Don't make me bring up nothing old!" I yell back.

She pushes me. "I hate you." she says. "We done. I can't fuck with you if you gone act how you do. We grown now. If I wanted somebody who gone act like a teenager and be immature about every situation, I would've been trying to build with a twenty year old who don't know shit about life or something! You better than this, Jessica! I don't know why you make childish ass decisions cause I know you way smarter than how you act! I know you better than this shit you been on lately! You wanna push me away? Fuck it! Imma give you your space! Don't fix your mouth to say I didn't try though!" I snap at her.

I grab my lighter off the ground then look at her. "Get your mind right. I'm not gone beg nobody to act right. I want a break from your bullshit." I say. She rolls her eyes. "Take your fucking break. I didn't do shit to you." she dryly says. I nod my head. "I'm not the same person I was. Not saying I'm perfect, but I took time with myself changing myself for the better. I'm trying so hard for you and if you not realizing the difference and the effort I'm putting in,  I ain't finna stick around with my hopes up high as fuck for nothing. So I'm out of it all together." I say.

She doesn't say anything. Reign walks out here looking mad. I force a fake smile on my face. I don't plan on having full blown arguments with Jessica infront of the kids no more. That shit was lame on both of our parts. We can't be trying to keep the family close then turn around and say hurtful shit to each other infront of them.

"Everything okay?" she asks us. Jessica chuckles then gets back in the hot tub. "Um... daddy, what's going on?" Reign asks me. "Me and your momma finna do our own thing and see other people." I say. Her eyes tear up. Jessica looks over at me then gets out the hot tub. She shakes her head then walks back in my house with a towel wrapped around her body.

"Don't cry." I say to Reign. "I know yall can work through it. Why aren't yall seeing how great yall can be?" she mumbles. I wrap my arms around her. "It's just a dark place in our lives right now." I say. She doesn't say anything as she silently cries on my chest. It make me sad knowing this shit hurting my daughter. I'm just at a point I never imagined getting to with Jessica. I hate how shit is.

Reign pulls away. "You were right about Jah. He told me he was only boosting my head up to have sex with me and that he was admitting it because he cares about me and wants to be friends. Daddy, do you happen to have any rat poison or something? I wanna make him some cookies or something." she says, innocently smiling.

I laugh. "Babygirl, you want to poison the nigga? That's no fun. How bout we go cut his fingers off or cut his body up while he alive? That's more personal and painful. He'll die a slow, painful death. Poisoning is an easy death. Let's make him die slow." I suggest.

She looks at me crazy. "What?" I ask. "Um... nevermind, daddy. I'll just leave it alone." she awkwardly says. "You already know I'm down to kill him whenever you give me the say so." I assure her. "No...he hurt me but he was honest from the start. I'm the one who looked past it. I can't take him away from his son." she says.

I sent my ex Tanya a text telling her to come through earlier. We were on bad terms but that means nothing to me. "Well, daddy got company on the way. I'm about to have grown people time." I say. "Daddy, don't tell me you invited hoes over while momma in the house." she says. "I ain't married to her or dating her anymore. I'm a free man just like she a free woman. This my house. I do what I want under my roof." I say, shrugging my shoulders.

She shakes her head. "You setting yourself up." she says, then walks back in the house. I shrug my shoulders. Tanya just texted me telling me she at the door. She didn't want to knock cause my kids are rude as hell and would ask her what the fuck she here for.

I just let her in. "It's so clean and neat here now.It smells good. I see you've cleaned the place up." Tanya said. Jessica cleaned up and made everything neat when she got here. "Something like that." I say.

"Ain't this your old bitch that thought she was gone be a momma to us? You could never be the dream." Noble bluntly says with the most rudest face out of all the faces I ever seen in my life.

"Excuse me?" Tanya asks. "I don't believe I stuttered." he says. "Go to yo room before I fuck you up." I threaten. "I'm just saying though, pops. This lady fine and all that but she ain't my momma and you know that. Why you wasting time?" he asks. "What the fuck did I just say?" I lowly growl at him. He starts snickering. "She fine though." he mumbles as he walks away.

"I apologize." I say to Tanya, leading her into my bedroom. I close the door. "Whose bra is that? And why is there women deodorant and makeup in your room, Ant?" Tanya asks with an attitude. I slowly kick Jessica's bra under my bed on the low. "I do have a teenaged daughter." I point out.

"Why would your daughter own a thong?" she asks, pointing at Jessica's blue thong that's in my clothes basket of clean clothes I haven't folded and put away. "Why you concerned about what my daughter wear under her clothes?" I ask. I know good and well all this stuff belongs to Jessica but I ain't admitting that.

"You got a bitch somewhere. I'm not stupid. Who is she? Is it your ex wife you were oh so in love with?" she sarcastically asks. "No. We don't fuck off no more." I tell her, partially telling the truth. She nods her head.

I sit down on the bed, watching as she strips out of her dress. She wasn't wearing anything underneath it. I reach over and get a condom out of the nightstand drawer. "Hold the fuck on. Why do you have a vibrator in your drawer? I don't use those!" Tanya snaps. I bite my bottom lip. I forgot all about that shit being in there. Jessica uses those for whatever reason and she always kept them in the nightstand drawer that I keep my condoms in.

"You forgetting I got an ex wife? I can't lie, I never got rid of her stuff, not even her sex stuff. You happy now?" I ask. "I'm ready to go home." she dryly says. I pull her down on top of me then kiss her lips. We start making out as she pulls my shorts down. I sit at the edge of the bed as she gets on her knees infront of me. Her head game is decent. It ain't the best head ever cause she suck it like she scared of the dick but it's still okay.

"Get sloppy." I mumble. She stops then looks at me. "I feel like a whore when you talk dirty while we're having sex." she says. I face palm myself. I'm so used to how ratchet and nasty me and Jessica get while having sex so I always expect the other women to get down like that but they hardly do.

"My bad, baby. Arch your back." I instruct. "I don't like getting hit from the back. I feel like I'm not good enough for you to look me in the eyes." she complains. I look down at my dick as it softens. "You just made my dick a real grumpy fellow." I say.

She rolls her eyes then kisses me on my neck and chest. I put the condom on then lay her on her back. I hover over her then enter her. "Oww. That hurts. Slow down." she whines. It's like she can't take dick to save her life and it's annoying. I like it when the pussy wet and tight. This the main reason I like women who like rough sex. The only time I go soft is when I'm making love to Jessica. I can't do this shit right now.

"How bout this. Get on top and do yo thing." I suggest, getting off of her. I feel like a teenager with a scared girl or something. I lay on my back. She positions me between her leg then slowly puts some of it inside of her, wincing in pain. I know good and well she not a virgin  cause she got kids by four different niggas. I think her pussy game just weak or something.

She starts slowly moving up and down on me. I grip her ass,roughly bouncing her up and down how I like it. "No. Don't rough me up like I'm a whore." she says, getting off of me. I sigh. "You fuck worse than any grandmother I know and that's a problem. You too fucking lame in the bedroom and if you can't please me, how we gone be together? I ain't trying to hurt yo feelings, I'm just keeping it real." I say.

She blankly stares at me then starts kissing me while straddling my lap. I hear the door open. I push her off me then make complete eye contact with Jessica. Her eyes tear up as we stare at each other. "Who is this?" Tanya asks, quickly covering her body.

Jessica leans against the wall, breathing heavily. "Jessica." I mumble, putting my clothes back on. She shakes her head then walks out my room. "That must be her? She's beautiful. I know that's her... she looks like the tattoo on your chest." Tanya says. I don't say anything. The look on Jessica's face just killed me inside, I can't even lie. I can't even explain how hurt, confused, mad, and disappointed she looked. She gave me a look she ain't ever gave me before and it shook me a lil bit.

"I'm sorry but Tanya, you gotta go." I say, handing her her dress. I watch as she gets dressed in silence. I wasn't on games with Tanya. I was really gonna try to be with her but it's like I can't do it for the life of me. "I understand. You love that woman and she loves you too. You won't be able to watch her with someone else just like it killed her inside to see you with me. I can't be a part of that. I support whatever decision you two make honestly." she says, smiling. "It's not like me and you are compatible anyways. You're wild, I'm not. Your kids hate me with a passion. Plus, we don't mix in the bedroom." she says. I laugh, nodding my head because it's true.

We hug each other. "Please fix whatever is broken with you two." she says, smiling as I lead her to the front door. I nod my head. She kisses me on my cheek then walks out of my house.

I make sure she left safely then lock my door. "Jessica!" I yell throughout my house, looking for her. I start searching the house. This the worse part about having a mansion. It take a while to find what you looking for.

I walk to the home theater. She sitting in one of the seats watching Finding Nemo in silence. I walk over then sit next to her. "Jessica, you wasn't supposed to see that earlier. I promise I wasn't trying to be spiteful." I say. She doesn't say anything. She wipes a couple of tears off her face.

"You didn't tell me you had somebody." she mumbles. "I don't. She my ex. I called her to be with her but only cause you don't want me." I explain. She shakes her head. "I don't have anything to say to you." she says, wiping her face. I gently grab her face then kiss her softly over and over again. "You got my heart. You gone always have my heart. I'm yours." I tell her, looking in her eyes.

She looks away. I turn her head to face me then kiss her again. "Ant stop. I'm tired of you playing mind games with me. You do it because you know you got me mentally and it's so annoying. I don't know why I let you do this to me. One minute you in love and the next I'm on your nerves and you don't know why you ever loved me. Stop." she goes off.

"I know why I fell in love with you so I never should've said that. I definitely know why I fell for you. I just don't know why everything so bad. I wanna start fresh and take it slow." I explain. She nods her head. "If you know you just playing with my mind and If you know you're gonna mess with everything walking, be real about it so I can know if you serious or if I need to move on." she says as her voice cracks.

I kiss her forehead. "I love you. We gone take our time and get it right. No more bullshit. You gotta be willing to leave that nigga alone, Jessica. I can't be the only one trying and not talking to other women while we try to regain our trust for each other and build to a relationship again while you continue to mess around." I say. "I'm willing to try." she says, nodding her head. "Let's get it right. We better than how we been acting. We don't have to rush into no relationship. We gone slowly but surely work our way up." I say.

She nods her head. "Hold me." she mumbles. I pick her up then sit her on my lap. She lays her head on my chest, lightly crying. The reality is, we love each other too much to drop everything and move on. We gone have to fight hard for us. I'm down this time and I mean that. No more bullshit on my end.

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