Montana & Jessica's son Tae in the media.

"Livin' in a hateful world." - Layzie Bone

JESSICA

We've been on vacation with Montana for two weeks. We flew to Minneapolis to the Mall of America and went on a wild ass shopping spree. We stayed there for two days and shopped both days. We flew to Ohio and went to the amusement park Cedar Point three days in a row. Then Montana decided to fly to Florida so we could go to Legoland so Amari could really enjoy himself since he's only three. We stayed in Florida a few more days and went to the amusement and water parks. Now, we're in Cozumel Mexico enjoying our last day on vacation.

I'm glad I got the kids' school work before we left. Montana and I helped them out so they won't be behind when they go back.

"Don't drop him." I say to Reign as she holds Amari in one arm while talking to Ant on the phone. "He wanna talk to you." she says, passing me the phone.

I grab a blue tee shirt that says Cozumel Mexico with turtles and starfish on it for Amari, then take the phone from her. "Hey." I say. "Yall coming home tomorrow, right? I miss you and my kids, Jessica. And I set up an appointment with a marriage counselor. I heard she real good." he says. "Okay." I say. Montana and I have been friendly on this vacation. We only had sex a couple of times when we got drunk on a tequila tour when we first got here but other than that, we haven't done anything. No flirting, no nothing.

"You been fucking him some more? Jessica, you had two weeks to think. I'm ready to try to work it out. I haven't fucked nobody, I swear." Ant says. "Yep, twice." I admit. He gets quiet. "Cool, that's fine. I can get over that. Step one of moving forward and making shit right." he calmly says, totally catching me off guard.

"I guess." I say. I have been thinking about it and I've been having heart to heart talks with my kids about it. They say they don't care and that they only want me to be happy and stuff but I can tell they don't want to give up on Ant. They love Montana, but deep down I know they don't like this separation. Noble's the only one of them who truly don't give a fuck as long as I'm happy.

"So... you gone come to marriage counseling? Come to at least one session. If that don't work out, I'll leave you alone and go on about my business." he says. "Okay. I'll talk to you when I get home." I say. "Aight. Put Reign back on the phone." he says. "Okay." I say, then hand the phone back to Reign.

"You wanna go to the beach?" Montana asks, putting LaLa down. She's been riding his back the whole time we've been out shopping.

"I do. How does this look?" I ask, showing him a colorful bag that has Mexico stitched on the front of it. "Colorful as hell." he answers. "Lala, you like it?" I ask my daughter. "Yes. Can I get eight dollars since I'm eight too?" she asks, innocently smiling.

"What you need eight dollars for if me and Montana buying you everything?" I ask. "Cause... fine, I took Majesty's eight dollars and bought bows for my dolls with it and I feel bad so I wanna give it back." she says. "Did you apologize for taking your big brother's money without asking? That's stealing, Antayla." I say in all seriousness.

She looks down. "I know. I said I was sorry." she says. "I don't know where you got that from, but you were not taught to steal, especially from your brother. Where'd you get that from?" I ask. "Jessie steals Majesty's girls all the time so what's wrong with stealing money? Mommy, he stole a whole person from Majesty cause the girl said he was cute." she says.

I close my eyes tight, trying to stay patient with this child. "Looking just like your daddy... look, stealing is wrong. If I find out you did it again, you know you and Mr. Beat That Butt are gonna have a meeting, right?" I ask. Mr. Beat That Butt is a brown belt I've been having since I gave birth to Noble and Majesty. I literally wrote Mr. Beat That Butt on the belt and every time they act up, Mr. Beat That Belt goes to work on that ass.

Her eyes widen. "I don't want a whoopin. Daddy never whoops me so you shouldn't neither. Daddy owns us, so if he don't whoop me, you shouldn't." she says. It's hard for Ant to discipline LaLa and Reign because they're girls and he's scared to hurt them.

"Well, I'm not your daddy and I will tear your ass up. Quit talking back, you ain't slick. It would be a shame to get handled all the way in Mexico cause you got sticky fingers and a slick mouth. Don't make me slap you." I say. Of course, I wouldn't slap the shit out an eight year old, but I do tear her ass up when she deserves it.

She gets dead silent then walks off to Majesty, Noble, Tae, Jessie, And Reign as she holds Amari. She knew what was best for her. Her mouth is slick as hell and she got it from her daddy. "Damn. I wanted to save her but she kinda deserved it." Montana says. "Quit trying to justify their actions every time they do something. I ain't letting her lil ass do what she wanna do." I say. He doesn't say anything. He knows I ain't playing with him.

"What Ant say?" he finally asks, walking to the register with me. "He said something about us having a session with a marriage counselor when I get back. I'm willing to try but like... I'm just scared." I say. He shrugs his shoulders. "God don't make mistakes. If he put yall together for a purpose, this lil rough patch ain't gone ruin it. If not, then hey... life goes on." he says. I nod my head in agreement.

-

We're back at the mansion we rented. The kids are outside in the pool, Montana's downstairs telling the chef what he wants him to cook for dinner, and here I am, pissing on a pregnancy test, praying God will have mercy on me for stepping outside my marriage like I did.

"God, please don't let me be pregnant. I'm so sorry, I can't have Montana's second baby. Not right now, at least, God. The kids will hate me. They'll think I'm replacing them and it'll only make my life worse. God, I'm so sorry for having sex with another man when I made a promise to you to stay faithful no matter what. I know Ant was wrong but I'm sorry for doing what I did with Montana. God, I love you. Pretty please, don't let me be carrying his baby. In Jesus name... God I'm so sorry. Please, please, please. I love you God, I promise I'll change my ways if you give me one more chance. Amen." I pray, wiping my eyes. I've never been so scared a day in my life. I think I'm pregnant and it could be Ant's or Montana's if I am.

I haven't had my period at all this entire month and I'm scared because I was supposed to have it way before now. I haven't even been cramping yet and that's far from usual. My stomach is bigger than usual, I've been eating like crazy, my titties are sore as fuck, I threw up a few times, and I pee a lot now. I hope my body is just going through some shit I don't know about cause I don't want to be pregnant.

My heart starts beating fast. Ant and I hardly used condoms but he was pulling out. I wasn't really keeping up with taking my pills with him because he's my husband and I thought everything was all good. I started taking my birth control then ended up fucking Montana literally days after Ant and I had unprotected sex but I took the pill with Montana. The scary part is he actually nutted in me. Ant was raw but pulled out so I don't know what to do.

I take a deep breath then look at the test. I scream in shock as I stare at the positive pregnancy test. I'm no doubt pregnant. I start panicking as I have a complete break down. I don't know who my baby's daddy is and I don't believe in abortion so I don't know what to do. I'm just gonna keep my pregnancy a secret until I start showing a lot, hopefully. I'm going to see my OBGYN as soon as I get home so I can see how far along I am. Hopefully that'll help me figure out who's child it is.

I take a deep breath. I literally just had a baby three years ago and he's still little and at the curious stage. I don't want Amari to feel replaced. I'm scared as hell right now.

Part of me wants to tell Montana and Ant but the other part wants to go with my initial plan to keep it a secret. I sigh then get rid of the test. I flush the toilet then wash my hands. I shake my head as I stare at my slightly rounded belly that was once really flat and toned. I just thought I was bloated at first. I rub my belly. "Well, lil baby, the timing is crazy but I don't regret you and mommy loves you. I'm sorry I don't know who your daddy is but I know whoever he is will love you. I love you already and I can't wait until you get here. Imma give you the world, baby. I promise I'll take care of you and keep you healthy." I say to my stomach, rubbing it. I know the baby isn't fully developed and obviously can't hear me but that calmed me down a lot. I feel a little better.

I giggle. "My lil secret mystery." I say, turning to the side to see how much my stomach pokes out. I pull my test out the trash can then take a picture of it and my small belly. I put it back in the trash then wash my hands good. I took that picture because all of my babies have scrapbooks of the entire pregnancy and I'm gonna make one for this baby and include that picture.

I tie the garbage bag up then grab it so I can take it out before Montana comes and sees the hidden test. I walk into the room we're staying in then get one of his shirts out his suitcase. I put it on along with some pajama shorts then walk downstairs. I walk outside then throw the bag containing the test in the dumpster.

I walk back in the house. "What's wrong with you? Why you looking like you up to something?" Montana asks, taking his attention off the shrimp the chef is seasoning to put on the grill for us tonight.

"I'm not up to anything." I defend myself. "I know you." he says, raising his eyebrow. "I'm not hiding anything." I say. "I didn't say nothing about you hiding anything, I said I know you up to something." he says.

I roll my eyes. "Leave me alone. I'm not up to anything." I say. "Speak now or forever hold your peace. You know I'll find out what it is." he says. "No you won't because it's nothing to hide." I say. "Now leave me alone, I'm getting irritated." I add, then walk upstairs to my room.

This vacation has been amazing but now I'm ready to get back to California to see about my little secret mystery. "Why are you randomly smiling right now?" Montana asks, walking into the room.

"I can't smile in peace?" I sarcastically ask. "Yo attitude is funky as hell and it's getting on my nerves." he admits. I ignore him, going through my old pregnancy pictures on my phone. I was so cute. I was a fucking whale when I was pregnant with Majesty and Noble though. I'm surprised my body isn't covered in stretch marks. I was huge.

"For real, you just gone stare at the phone like I'm not talking? I didn't do shit to you and you all of a sudden acting stupid." he says. "Maybe, I don't want to be bothered. Maybe, you should fuck off. I don't wanna talk." I say. "Why not? Why won't you just tell me what's wrong? See, now I see where Ant was coming from. You don't know how to communicate. You throw these funky ass fits like you doing now and sit there with an attitude, constantly getting smart and shit. That bullshit pushes niggas into another bitch arms. Now you see why you in the situation you in. You need help, your attitude is funky, your mouth smart as hell, and you don't know how to fucking treat or talk to people!" he snaps on me.

"Why did you even have to say all that?" I scream at him. "Because you needed to hear it! Your kids ain't stupid, they see the bullshit you do too! You pushed that nigga away! You sitting here poppin' off on me for no fucking reason so I can only imagine what you put his ass through! The nigga mentally ill as fuck but he a man at the end of the day! I probably would've cheated on a bitch that do all that unnecessary shit you doing too, to be honest and that's honesty for yo ass! You lack people skills and you lack good communication skills. You need to learn how to respect people when you talk to em!" he goes off. "Fuck you, Montana." I mumble.

I know what he said was totally true but I still don't like it. He couldve worded it differently. "See, here you go trying to play the victim. Don't even give me that pitiful ass look, Jessica. I don't regret shit I said. I love you enough to tell you." he says.

I get under the covers then roll over on my side with my hand on my belly. I unlock my phone then continue to scroll through my old pregnancy pictures. He snatches the cover off the bed then throws it. "See, this is the bullshit I'm talking about! Get your ass up and talk to me instead of doing that! Damnit, I feel sorry for Ant! I don't see how that nigga put up with shit like this as long as he did before he started cheating three years ago!" he yells.

"Why the hell are you constantly bringing him into this?" I scream. "Because that's your fuckin' husband! Do you not care about what I'm saying? He wrong for cheating, but a man can only take so much before he start searching for what he missing in other women! See, look, you being ridiculous!" he goes off. "Why you acting so concerned about my marriage like you haven't been all up in my pussy, letting me ride your face with your tongue all in my shit, huh? Nigga, bye." I say, rolling my eyes.

He starts laughing. "Honestly, I don't give a fuck about Ant or yall fucked up ass marriage. I gave you this dıck and this tongue cause that's gone be mine forever. We can be ninety seven and I swear that's gone still be mine. I ain't worried about Ant cause I know I can have you whenever. I was just telling you straight up that I see where he was coming from." he says.

"You're an ass hole." I say, going to get the cover he threw. "So? Just cause I'm being honest don't make me an ass hole." he says. "You're an ass hole. A big, loose ass hole." I say. He chuckles. My phone starts ringing. I look at it. It's Diamond calling me. Before I can even answer it, Amari runs in here dripping water from his little swim trunks all over the place with LaLa and Tae chasing him.

"What are yall doing?" I ask as Amari jumps in my arms laughing. "Dang, Mari, you got everything wet." I say. "Amari took a dump in the pool while he was in his float and he threw it at me so we chased him!" Tae screams, clearly pissed off.

"Whoa, calm down." Montana demands. I put Amari down. "You did what?" I ask. "Boo boo. I had to potty." he mumbles. "You getting a spanking." I say. He knew what he was doing was dead wrong, that's why he ran and laughed. He starts crying, backing away. I pick him up. "Let me give you a bath. Don't do that crap no more." I fuss at him, hitting him on his legs. He starts crying. "Tell your brother and sister you sorry, now." I demand. "Sorry." he cries, laying his head on my shoulder. I walk into the bathroom then put him down. I turn the jacuzzi tub water on then shake my head at him. I don't know how I'm about to balance a newborn and still chase after a three year old.

My phone starts ringing again. I go get it then walk back into the bathroom. "Take your swim trunks off." I say to Amari, then answer the phone. "Hey, Diamond." I say. She starts screaming and crying in my ear, talking but I can't understand what she saying. "Jessica... I don't know what to do, he ain't breathing!" she screams and cries. "What? Diamond, slow down. Who's not breathing?" I ask. "Cameron, Jessica! Somebody shot my baby!" she screams, crying loud and hard. My head starts spinning. Who the fuck would shoot her and Darius' two year old baby?

"What? What happened?" I ask, sitting down. "I'm at Sonic and while I was waiting for my food, somebody ran up to my car and shot him through the the back window! He not breathing Jessica!" she screams, crying. I hear sirens and stuff in the background.

"We're about to come back to California now." I say, wiping my eyes. I quickly wash Amari then take him out the tub. "What's wrong, mommy?" he asks. "Nothing, baby, it's okay." I lie, picking him up and running back into the room.

"What happened?" Montana asks. "Go get the kids, tell them go get in the truck right now. We gotta fly back to California right now, Montana." I say, quickly dressing Amari in a Disney onesie. "Why?" he asks as I pick my baby up. I grab my purse and my phone.

"Cameron got shot." I answer. His whole face changes. He sits down. "What?" he asks in disbelief. "Somebody shot a fucking two year old, Montana, and Diamond said he ain't breathing." I say. He instantly gets up and walks out.

I follow behind him. "Now! Let's go! Ask questions later!" he yells at the kids, forcing them out the house. "What? I left my stuff. I need my Xbox." Jessie says, putting his phone in his pocket while trying to go back in the house. "Boy, your two year old cousin just got shot and all you care about is that bullshit? Get your ass in the truck!" I yell at him. All the kids stop and stare at me with tears in their eyes. "Cameron got shot? What? He just turned two like last month though. This ain't real." Majesty says, shaking his head.

I don't say anything as we get in the truck. I hand Amari to Reign so she can strap him in. Montana pulls out the driveway fast. I bow my head, feeling like I'm about to throw up. I wanna go hide and cry right now. Why would somebody purposely do this to a two year old? My nephew was an innocent baby. I can't even process this right now.

DARIUS

"Diamond, I was at a meeting. Why did you blow my phone up like that?" I ask, irritated with my girlfriend. She knew I had an important meeting and she blew my phone up anyway, most likely trying to me into marriage. She never calls about important things.

"Cameron got shot, Darius!" she screams, loudly sobbing. I stop walking. "What?" I ask. "I was at Sonic, somebody ran up to my car and shot him through the window on purpose, Darius! I'm at the hospital and I don't know what to do, at first he wasn't breathing, then they said he had a small pulse! They think he won't make it through surgery, Darius!" she screams.

My eyes tear up. I fall against my car, crying. Some lady walks over to me. "Are you okay, sir? Do you need an ambulance?" she asks. "Diamond, what the fuck? Why you let that happen?" I yell at her. "Don't blame me!" she screams, loudly sobbing.

My phone starts ringing. I get in my car then pull off with my emergency lights on. I switch over to Ant's call. "What?" I yell, hitting the stirring wheel. It's too many fucking people. "Me and Vonte at the hospital with Diamond right now. Bruh, have faith, everything gone be alright." he says. "No it's not! My fucking baby is half dead right now! Everything is not gonna be alright!" I scream, feeling my heart beat fast.

"Have faith, D. Damn, quit saying that bullshit!" he snaps at me. I don't say anything as I continue to speed. "Ant, I swear, I'm killing whoever did this shit to my son!" I yell out of anger. I mean that shit and I'll sit in a cell and do the time for it too.

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