a week passed.

we spent nearly every waking moment together

trying to make the most of what we still had

but both of us couldn’t hide

the pain

in knowing that soon

we’d be apart

for who knows how long.

i found myself pushing past my limit

when i ran

forcing myself to keep going until my lungs

might collapse

and my feet might crumble.

i ran through the rain

through the snow

not caring if i grew sick.

i needed the escape

just me and my surroundings

my body a machine

pulling me forward

pushing me further.

on occasion i saw children playing out in the snow

reminding me of younger days

begging my mother to do the same.

but we never played.

not with mother.

at some point i began to question

why i missed my mother.

she’d never provided comfort or love when i was down

because she was always more depressed than papa and i.

but as i thought about it

she showed her love in practical ways.

she kept me out of the cold for my health.

she made sure i bathed, brushed my teeth and my hair

every night.

it was her way of caring.