as soon as i saw my dad asleep on the living room couch

i felt guilty.

on fridays i came home earlier to spend the evening with him

but today i went to art club.

it was past eight but it didn't look like he had eaten

so i took a shower and warmed up soup from the freezer.

what is this feeling?

i tapped on his shoulder to wake him and his eyes looked up into mine-

i'm sorry, Otousan.

so sorry.

tears pricked but i held them back and sat down beside him.

the silence ached through me

i wished he would speak more

but i guess it's a part of him now.

i wonder if i'll become like him as i age.

but,

i think i have a friend now,

he would be happy for me.

then why did i feel so guilty about it?