When I don't like what I see

I am prejudiced. Full of preconceived ideas about a lot of thing, a lot of people. I judge people on their appearance, physical and social. I judge on petty details and cultural traits.

I am an open minded person though. I accept and respect. But still... I take shortcuts often...

I am in exile. By choice. My decisions brought me on many countries and continents, looking for a place to settle. These places I stayed in, I arrived there with my eyes opened, my mind even. I saw a lot of good things. Then after a time, the bad comes out. The bad from the place, from the people. The bad from me, possibly.

The good is what I remember, the bad what had me leave.

After a time, the next place is less and less appealing. All the good I remember are pooled against this new country. Will I find the right combination?

Then comes a time when my prejudices surface. I am more intransigent, less satisfied, definitively unhappy.

These choices I made, still make, yet have to make, these decisions, so far, had only an impact on me. How huge or how shallow, it all depended on my state of mind.

Now, I have two angels to nurture. To help them growing open minded, with no prejudice, no preconception.

How can one have no preconception when the environment and experiences are what bring them to the surface?

No one wants to remain a blank canvas. Bland and plain. No personality.

I am who I am. A lot of good, I like to believe. Sadly, a good number of bad also. But now it is not only about me. I have to get sure I pass only the plus to the next generation. Let them build their own personality. Without my prejudices.

Now that I look back, a lot of them come from my parents. A mix of plus and minus, of good and bad, of open and close mind. But still, it was my choice to keep or detract them.

I like to think I am open minded, I like to think I chose myself to be. But there is no hiding I take sometimes shortcuts. I can lull myself thinking it is for the best.

There is no positive judgment, however, no positive discrimination. Only the preconceptions inherent to the human nature. As a mean of protection, one will judge or discard what one sees different in the others. It is always possible to convince oneself that it is for the best, for protection, for keeping safe and sound.

But I always thought all these came in the same package. The one that our brain set in place to protect itself. As a matter of fact, whatever we think, whatever we judge, whatever we classify, it all is a mean for our brain to protect itself. We believe our prejudices to have foundation, we believe our preconceptions to bear truth, because our brain cannot be wrong. If it were, we would end up a loony toon...

I am full of prejudices, but I am open minded. Do I try to protect my sanity?

I know somewhere I am wrong, I try to change myself. Accepting one's wrongness is already building the goodness... Is it really? Is it as simple as that? As far as I am aware of it, it is not a bad thing?

But, we are human, not just animals. It is not just the law of the stronger that prevails, but the law of the stronger mind.

But, we are human, not just animals. We are more complex. We are complex multicellular entities driven by biochemical reactions and synaptic connection.

I am full of prejudices, but I am open minded. Is it just a figment of an imagination programmed at the chore of my existence?

I am full of prejudices, yet I am open minded. I know myself, I know who I am, I see me in the mirror...

... And there are days I don't like what I see