"Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me, and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Unfortunately Sunday had passed much quicker then I had expected it to. I had spent most of the day talking to Emma and James, and even played with Aiden, Logan, and Livy upstairs until it had been dinner time. I had ran across the backyard with a big smile on my face as I threw the guest house door open to be met with six pairs of eyes. I happily told them to come eat and I think they knew right then that the talk between James, Emma, and I had gone really well. Harry had smiled at me but I could still see a glint of sadness in his eyes when he told me he was happy for me.

Dinner hadn't been in the least bit awkward this time. Now that all the secrets were out in the open and most of the tension had been smoothed over, we were able to talk freely and eat in peace. Harry seemed a bit nervous though around James and straightened his back when James had jokingly threatened Harry about using his gun if he ever hurt me. I rolled my eyes at him for that and laughed when Harry let a sigh of relief out when James playfully punched his shoulder to tell him he were kidding. His dimple had came out as he grinned down at his plate of food, peeking at me from the corner of his eye when I teased him for getting so scared.

We ended up all playing a game of apples to apples and it was by far the most funniest experience of my life. I had forgotten Harry was quite the literature person himself, so him and James arguing and taking the words they chose for cards seriously, was hilarious. They were both the ones with the most green cards and I nearly choked from laughing so hard when Harry had angrily threw his cards off the table when Niall had ended up choosing James card, making James the winner. I knew Harry wasn't really angry but the way his eyebrows furrowed and the way he simply said "please carry on I have nothing left to say to you" to James, had me wheezing.

He had grinned at me when he saw me laughing and it had been nice to see him like that, considering the whole day he just seemed in a sullen mood. It hadn't lasted long though, and the moment we had headed back to the guest house our moods had dulled and again, Harry began to pull away from me. He still spoke to me and smiled at something I said every so often, but it never reached his eyes the way it had during the game. He gave me short answers, and I tried desperately to show him affection, hoping it would stop him from acting like this but to my dismay, he completely rejected me. I came on to him when we got in bed and he lightly pushed me away, turned his back to me and told me he was too tired to do anything. I was left stunned and felt an emptiness begin to grow in my chest at his rejection, but gave him a simple kiss on the cheek before going to sleep.

It was now currently late Monday morning, and I lied on my back on the bed, wondering why Harry wasn't in the bed next to me now and where he could have went. I woke up without him there and thought he might of been in the living room, but when I went out to check, he wasn't. So I came back in here, and decided to just wait for him but it had nearly been an hour since I had woken up. I don't know how long he had been away from me before I got up and just when I started considering going outside in the streets to look for him, I heard the front door open. Voices were heard and a few beats later footsteps sounded down the hallway before stopping right outside the bedroom door. The knob turned and I sat up just as the door opened, and in came a sweaty Harry. His hair was up in a bun, his white t-shirt clung to his drenched chest, and the black nike shorts he was wearing looked good. I eyed the socks that came up to his mid calf and his running shoes he was also wearing, noticing the slight dirt on them.

He had earphones in his ears and I could hear the music blasting from them from where I sat on the bed. I thought he'd take them out when he saw me sitting on the bed, but to my utter disappointment he simply nodded at me and walked into the bathroom. My mouth fell open at the lame gesture and I angrily clutched the sheets next to me after my short moment of shock. I can't believe he just fucking nodded. What am I, one of his bros?

I hastily crawled off the bed, not bothering to throw a bra on or fixing my shorts that had ridden as I angrily shoved the bathroom door open. I fumed as I stared at the back of a shirtless Harry, trying to ignore the sweat that was running down it. He glanced at me over his shoulder and it was only then that he decided to take his earphones out, giving me a confused look and arching his eyebrow.

"What's up?" He asked nonchalantly and I scoffed at him, placing my hands on my hips.

" 'What's up'?" I asked incredulously. "Are you serious?" I said slowly and he furrowed his eyebrows at me, not saying anything but not looking away either.

"Is something the matter?" He said each word very slow and my hand twitched to smack him. I hated the tone he was using.

"I don't know Harry, is something the matter?" I asked pointedly and his face turned from confused to expressionless. His eyes held mine and he pressed his lips together, before looking down at his phone that still had the headphones connected to them.

"I don't know what you mean." He said calmly and I laughed, moving into the bathroom and closing the door behind me. I leaned back on it, crossing my arms over my chest and shaking my head.

"You turned down sex last night." I pointed out and he scowled at me, putting his phone down on the counter.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I always had to have sex whenever you wanted to." He said a little too harshly and I flinched back at his tone, frowning when I saw the way he was looking at me. I didn't respond to him, feeling slightly embarrassed for even bringing it up. He was right, it's not like he had to always have sex with me, that hadn't been the point at all it was just the fact that he was pushing me away and I had no idea why.

His face softened as he stared at me and he suddenly turned his whole body to face me, giving me full frontal view of his toned sweaty abs. I diverted my eyes to the ground though and had the urge to step away from him when he moved towards me, keeping less then a foot between us but lifting my chin with his finger.

"I'm sorry, that came out harsh. You know I always want to have sex with you." He said softly.

"That was my point," I muttered, flickering my eyes up to meet his. "You always do, so imagine my shock when you didn't. Obviously something is wrong, so what is it?"

"Nothing is wrong." He answered too quickly and I shook my head.

"You nodded at me when you walked in. You don't nod."

He pursed his lips, knowing I was right. I saw several emotions fleet over his face before he sighed and let his shoulders fall just the slightest. "I don't know, I guess I'm just sad about leaving." He muttered and I let my mouth form a silent 'O', and nodded.

"That makes more sense." I muttered and he gazed at me for a moment and then nodded. His finger under my chin traveled to my cheek, lightly grazing it as his eyes flickered over my face, following everywhere his fingers went. He poked his tongue out to lick his lips and I found myself leaning into him, wanting him to kiss me. He understood and those green eyes that I love so much, darted down to my lips before he took another step forward and pressed his plump ones to mine. He gave me a gentle kiss, moving his lips slowly and filling me with disappointment when he pulled away.

He rested his forehead against mine and I moved my hands to rest against the side of his neck, caressing him there. "I'm sorry I'm being weird. I can't really control it." He said quietly, leaving another kiss on my lips.

"S'okay," I mumbled against his mouth and leaned into him again, wrapping my arms around his neck. I pressed myself against him and kissed him with more pressure this time, putting the love and passion I felt into it. He wrapped his arms around my waist and groaned when I bit his bottom lip, digging his fingers into my lower back.

"Let's take a shower." I said when I pulled away from him and he arched his eyebrow at me, a small smirk on his lips. I didn't wait for him to answer and walked around him, turning on the shower and kissing him until we waited for it to heat up. He took his clothes off and I followed him, stepping into the shower before he did and reaching my hand out for him after. We stood under the water for a bit, just staring at each other and talking about the most random things until we began washing each other's body's. I didn't wash my hair since I had yesterday morning but Harry tried not to laugh when I had to stand on my toes to reach for his hair and I lightly smacked him for finding joy in my struggle. I giggled when he poked my cheek and dropped my hands on his head to his shoulders after I was finished, meeting his stare.

"I love you." He said quietly, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand. I grinned at him and kissed him, only pulling away briefly to tell him I loved him too. We kissed for a long time, and when Harry gripped my bare ass in his palms, and his lips became more urgent and heated, I eagerly pushed him against the shower wall. He let my bum go and instead cupped my face with both his palms, kissing me with so much pressure and love that I could feel it all the way to my toes. He held me there, but let one of his hands slide down to my hip and slowly began teasing the inside of my thigh. I groaned when he did, and as much as I wanted him to touch me, there was something else I wanted more.

I blindly reached down and stopped his hand, making his eyes fly open to look at me confusedly. I pulled my lips away from him and my eyes darted to the way his looked so pink and swollen. He was by far the most beautiful man I have ever seen.

"My turn." I muttered.

"What-?" He furrowed his eyebrows at me but his face completely twisted in shock when I abruptly squatted down in front of him till I was on my knees. I peeked up at him and felt so satisfied to see how his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets and his mouth was hanging open. I smirked at him and he let out a shaky breath.

"Kaydence, you don't have to." He said quickly and I shook my head, leaning forward to kiss his tattooed hip.

"I know, but I want to make you feel better...and I want to." I said the last part quietly and he bit his lip when I wrapped my hand around him, his eyes fluttering closed at the action. If I were being completely honest I had no idea how I was supposed to do this, all I knew from the advice I'd gotten from Nicole when we talked about it once was: pretend it were a Popsicle.

So that's what I did. I pretended it were exactly that as I wrapped my lips around him and took him in my mouth. I stared up at him from where I knelt when I did, feeling a bubble of excitement when his wild eyes met mine. He groaned as he watched me and I immediately held on to his upper thigh for leverage when he tilted his head back against the wall. He ran his fingers through my hair and I enjoyed every second of watching his muscles in his stomach contract and the way the veins in his neck were prominent every time he tilted his head back. I oddly liked pleasuring him like this, having the upper hand for once made me feel invincible and it felt so good to have him at my mercy. I had hoped I was doing it right and the only sign I was, were the low moans that came from deep within his chest. I quickened my speed and Harry looked down at me proudly, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open as his chest rose and fell quickly.

"Fuck," He groaned and released my hair to place his hands flatly against the wall beside him. I opened my mouth just a little further and leaned forward, pressing his body into the wall. He moaned so loud I was afraid for a brief moment the others had heard but the way Harry looked so weak, made me not care. His chest was rising and falling faster and I moaned around him when he lifted his hands to run his fingers through his hair, making his biceps bulge. He quickly looked down at me again when I did, making an animal like sound but keeping eye contact with me when he did.

"You look so good," he said breathlessly. "And fucking hell, how are you so good at this?" He moaned at the last word, giving me more motivation. I did what I could with my tongue, and Harry's mouth was left gaping open as he stared down at me unashamedly. His eyes seemed far away, almost like he were high that I smirked up at his expression. He slapped his hand against the wall when I did and immediately grabbed my hair with his other one. He pushed his hips forward and before I knew it, his body was shaking, and he was groaning as he released into my mouth with a string of curses leaving his.

I refrained from spitting it out, hurriedly swallowing before I could taste it, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand once I released him. I looked up at him, catching the desired look he was giving me and sat back on my heels. His chest still rose and fell quickly as he tried to slow his breathing, and he poked his tongue out to lick his bottom lip. Since the rush and confidence I had been feeling was dulling, I started to feel embarrassed with what I had just done to him and tore my eyes to look down at the shower floor. My cheeks were inflaming, and I had the urge to go hide but Harry's hand under my elbow stopped me. He gripped it, and hoisted me up on my feet, wrapping his arms around my lower back once I was. I avoided making eye contact with him but he forced me to look at him when he lightly grabbed my jaw, tilting it up.

"Don't get shy on me now." He whispered, leaning down to kiss the corner of my mouth. "That was the best fucking head I've ever received."

I laughed nervously and rolled my eyes, somehow I doubted that. "Right..."

"It was." He blinked at me, his expression turning serious. "Honestly, you're a natural."

"Harry..." I said in warning, my cheeks only burning more in embarrassment and my eyes narrowing. He laughed and moved his hands to cup my hot cheeks, his touch feeling cold against them.

"Okay I'll stop." He muttered, gazing down at me and leaning in to place a chaste kiss on my lips, letting his linger against mine when he pulled away. "I love you so much. You know that, don't you?" He whispered against my mouth, his eyelashes tickling my own.

"Yes I know. And I love you too."

He grinned at me but it slowly started to fade as he stared at me, the happy glint that had been in his eyes moments ago disappearing. He ran his fingers over my face, tracing every inch of it while his gaze followed his movements. I wasn't sure why he was doing this but for some reason, I let him because I knew it was what he needed. I let him touch me, stare at me for as long as he wanted until the water from the shower eventually began to run cold. I shivered in front of Harry and he reluctantly dropped his hands from my face down to rest on my hips, drawing circles with his thumbs.

"What should we do today? It's the last day." He stated and sadness filled my chest, remembering that Harry along with Nicole, and the boys would be leaving tomorrow morning. I know I had promised to spend today with Char, but I'd have the days after they left to do that.

"I want to spend it with you." I hugged him to me and his dimple appeared in his cheek when I did. "And everyone else of course."

"I don't know if I feel like sharing you, I want you all to myself." He teased, but something in his tone told me he was only half kidding.

"You can have me to yourself later tonight, but let's just spend the day with the others too." I suggested and he nodded before turning to turn the now cold water off. We both stepped out of the shower, drying ourselves off and then walking into the room to change. I went to my messy bag and glanced over at Harry's neat one, noticing how he had already almost finished packing his stuff. As if knowing what it was I was thinking, his eyes darted from his bag to mine. They lingered on it for a moment and then he turned his back to me as he shrugged his black t-shirt on, his shoulders seeming tenser then they were moments ago. I slowly put my own clothes on as I watched him pull his pants on and bend down to slide his black boots on, his hair dripping on the wooden floor as he did. When he stood back up, he visibly took a deep breath and turned around to face me with a small smile that hadn't been there before. 

"Almost ready?" He said happily and I eyed him suspiciously at his sudden change of mood. 

"Yeah..." I said hesitantly but he didn't pay much attention to my tone, just walked over to the end of the bed and looked through his phone while he waited for me. My eyes were glued on him the whole time and the only moments I looked away was when I needed to put mascara on, but as soon as I finished It was back to staring at him . I knew he felt me watching him but he didn't really seem to care, or at least he acted like he didn't. 

"Ready." I said once I put my converse on and he locked his phone, shoving it into his front pocket and intertwining his fingers through mine. He lead me out the bedroom and we walked down the hall, stopping once we reached the living room. Everyone was up and dressed already, packing some of their clothes in their bags. I frowned at the sight and Harry shifted on his foot, lifting his free hand to run his fingers through his hair. 

"Hey," He called out, moving to sit on one of the couches that were open. I followed him and was about to sit next to him when he tugged on my hand and made me fall right into his lap. He smiled at me, shifting me to sit properly on his lap and putting his arms around my waist. "Kay wants to spend the day with us all." He said out loud and Louis was the first to look in our direction. 

"Oh, does she now?" He said, raising his eyebrow. "You don't want quality time with me instead, love?" He teased and I laughed, while Harry narrowed his eyes at him. 

"Um, no." Harry answered for me, shaking his head but I saw the amused look on his face. "If she's spending quality time with anyone, it's me."

"What the hell, if it should be anyone, it should be me." Nicole said, scowling at Harry and pointing at him accusingly. "You've been hogging her this whole week."

"Oh bite me," Harry said and Nicole's mouth fell open. She took a step towards Harry and before she could do anything I held my hand out for her to stop and threw Harry a disapproving look. 

"I'm spending today with everyone." I stated and Nicole shrugged, crossing her arms while Liam and Niall both agreed that it was fair. Harry squeezed my waist and when I looked over my shoulder at him, I was surprised to find his lips right next to my ear. 

"I get you to myself tonight though." He whispered and I nodded, feeling his mouth turn up into a smile before he lightly kissed my cheek. We waited for everyone to put their shoes on, and once they were ready we began to talk about what to do. It was Colorado so there wasn't really much for us to choose from. Louis had suggested we go horseback riding one more time but Zayn had grumbled at that idea. I too wanted to go riding one more time and when Liam had agreed to sit out with Zayn and just watch us, he had finally agreed. We walked out of the house and I briefly left the others to go make sure it was okay with James, who had been more then happy to let us go. Since we had already gone out riding a few times he had trusted us to go alone and reminded me to put the saddles back when we finished. 

I ran back outside to meet the others and Harry took my hand before we started walking around the house and down the street towards the ring and barn. We all chatted the whole way, Louis hopping on Liam's back before Liam took off running. Louis had shouted 'giddy up' when he did whilst smacking Liam's behind and I choked on my laughter when Liam had purposely dropped him. Harry let out a loud dorky laugh that I had never heard before, making my eyes widen and for me to stare at him in bewilderment. He quickly slapped his hand over his mouth in surprise after he did and I giggled at his reaction, making him slowly drop his hand and smile at me. Nicole slipped her arm around my shoulder, stealing me away from Harry. We talked about her and Niall, and she told me he had asked her to take her on a date when they got back to LA. I quietly squealed at the news, Nicole shushing me and pinching my arm until I calmed down. We ended up walking with Louis and Liam while Harry, Niall, and Zayn walked a few feet behind. Nicole told Louis we could beat them in a piggy back race and I rolled my eyes when Louis decided to take that as a challenge. Nicole gestured for me to hop on her back, bending forward as I gripped her shoulders and bounced on my feet before jumping up on her. We both almost fell over and I screamed right before I started to slip from her back, but she kept her hold on me. I let my legs hang from the side of her while she held me up under my thighs and we counted to three before Liam and Nicole both took off. Louis was pumping his fist in the air to encourage Liam while I screamed "GO GO GO" to Nicole. Liam had ended up stumbling and Nicole cheered in victory, spinning in a circle with me still on her back. I laughed, and glanced over my shoulder to see Harry watching us with the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face. I returned it, and watched as he suddenly stretched his strides and made his way towards us. His eyes never broke from mine and I gave him a confused look when he stopped in front of Nicole, pulling my arm away from her as I slowly slipped off her and landed on my feet. 

He cupped my face with both his hands and leaned down. "You are so cute." He kissed me once, leaving butterflies in my stomach before he released me and threw his arm over my shoulder. We walked the rest of the way to the ring together, and I immediately went to the barn to get the saddles. Harry had followed me, helped me get the saddles and lead the way back to the ring. Nicole opened the gate for us and I tried my best to remember how Char and James had shown us how to put everything on them. I wanted to roll my eyes at Harry when he easily did it, having no problem remembering what we were taught. He sent me a cheeky smile when he had to come help me and I glared at his back when he teased me by poking his tongue out in a childish way. Was there anything he wasn't good at?

After we, well Harry mostly, got the saddles on we had decided to just ride them in the ring instead of taking them out since Liam and Zayn were just watching. I chose Lightning to ride on of course and after Harry helped me up on her, he pulled himself up behind me. We rode the horse around the ring for a few minutes until Harry practically begged me to let Lightning run. I was cautious, but I also wanted to give him what he wanted since part of me felt bad for still not telling him I wasn't leaving with them tomorrow. I'm sure he had figured it out already, but I still felt guilty for not telling him myself.

Harry kept begging, and even though I was afraid of falling off the horse I agreed to let Lightning run. Harry cheered in excitement, but I stopped him before he could give Lightning the signal. "Wait, no If she's running you take front." I said quickly and Harry leaned around me to look me in the face. 

He pursed his lips and gave me a small smile, patting my thigh. "I have a better Idea." He squeezed my thigh. "Throw your leg over like you're going to get off, but don't. Pivot around so you're facing me."

"What?" I asked incredulously. That seemed so much scarier then actually facing frontwards. 

"Just do it, if you get scared you can hug me." He smiled and though it didn't sound like the brightest idea, the excuse to get closer outweighed my hesitancy. I reluctantly threw my leg over to the side, holding on to the horn for dear life as I slowly turned my hips towards Harry. He held on to my waist to keep me from falling, and when most of my body was facing him I leaned back. I kept one hand holding on to the horn behind me and the other gripping Harry's shoulder as I swung my leg back over to the other side, sighing in relief once I was in place. Harry looked down at me, and I silently cursed myself for wearing shorts in stead of jeans when I saw how far they rode up in the process of facing him. Harry apparently noticed too, when his eyes flickered down to them and the smallest smirk grew on his face. 

"Can't wait for tonight." He whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms behind me and holding the horn that was right at my lower back. I leaned forward then, till my face was in the crook of Harry's neck and moved to circle my arms around him tightly. 

"Ready?" He asked in my ear and I interlocked my hands behind him, pressing into him until I couldn't get any closer before slowly nodding and closing my eyes. He chuckled at the hold I had on him and kissed the side of my head, moving his feet and giving Lightning the signal to run. My body jolted forward into Harry at the movement and I felt his arms tighten around me as Lightning began to run. I felt the air around us whipping past us, felt the rumble of Harry's laughter in his chest, and heard the sound of Lightning's hoofs hitting the dirt ground. I refrained from screaming, afraid of scaring Lighting so I kept my lips pressed together and my face hidden in Harry's shirt. I knew he was enjoying himself with the way he kept laughing and signaling Lightning to go faster. I gripped him tighter when I started bouncing at the movement and minutes later, Harry had signaled her to stop, making a breath of relief leave me. 

He pulled back, loosening his hold around me and looking down at me with a wide smile on his face. His hair was disheveled from the wind and his eyes were dancing with excitement. "Wasn't that fun?"

"Sure." I smiled at him and he rolled his eyes, chuckling and kissing my cheek. 

"Thank you for letting me do that." He smiled. "Well, for doing it with me." 

"Anytime." I smiled and he leaned down to kiss me, letting go of the horn and resting his hands on my thighs. I forgot momentarily that we had people around us until Liam called for us to either 'break it up', or 'get a room'. I pulled away from him and we spent another half hour riding until we decided it was enough, getting down from Lighting and undoing the saddles. It took us another fifteen minutes until we completely finished putting everything back and we headed towards the house again. The sun was out today and it was burning my skin, making sweat build at the back of my neck. I pulled my hair up into a pony tail on our walk back, and Nicole threw the idea of us going swimming when we arrived back to the house. I usually hated swimming because it meant showing my body, but lately Harry was making me feel more comfortable in my skin, and frankly it was too hot to turn the opportunity down.

We quickly ran back into the guest house to change when we arrived back. I changed into a green bikini I had packed, throwing a long shirt over me before Harry could get a good look at me. He arched his eyebrow at me when he saw what I did and shook his head, making a note about how I wouldn't be able to hide from him for long. I waited for him to finish putting on his black trunks and then we went outside with the others. I tossed my sunscreen on one of the lawn chairs and flinched when Louis had jumped right in, making some water splash on me. I threw him a glare but wiped myself off with the towel I brought out, pulling my shirt over my head afterwards. I heard a whistle behind me and when I looked over my shoulder, I blushed. Harry was skimming my body and threw me a thumbs up in approval, smirking when he saw my red cheeks. I chose to ignore him and started putting my sunscreen on, about to turn to Nicole to ask if she could put it on my back but Harry had snatched the lotion out of my hand.

"I'll do it." He said, squeezing the lotion out into his palm and motioning for me to lie on my stomach. I eyed him, giving him a warning look and he rolled his eyes at me. "Relax babe, I'll behave myself." 

I rolled my eyes but swiftly turned around to lie on my stomach, resting my hands underneath my cheek as I turned my head to the side. Harry's hands came down on my back and began to move in circles, making me close my eyes and feel slightly sleepy. I began to doze off a little, that was until I felt his hands traveling to the outline of my bottoms on my ass. I blinked my eyes open and leaned up on my elbows, looking over my shoulder to see Harry already looking at me with an amused smile on his face. 

"Thought that might wake you," He winked at me and tossed the bottle of sunscreen in front of me. "My turn." He turned his back to me and I sat up, squirting some lotion in my hand and rubbing it on his broad shoulders. He hunched forward when I did and I hesitated before moving my hand to his lower back, watching his body shift on the chair. He pressed his lips together as he stared at Niall and Liam swimming, and he visibly tensed when my finger skimmed the waist band of his trunks.

"Okay, I think that's enough." He chuckled and stood up from the chair, reaching his hand out for me to take. "Come on, let's swim." I took his hand, standing up from the chair and followed him to the steps of the pool, slowly walking in and stopping at the last step. The pool was cold, probably because James hadn't put the heater on and my hands rested above the water as my shoulders raised at the coldness. 

"It's cold." I whined and Harry moved in to walk behind me. I turned around to see that he didn't even seem fazed by the temperature, and right before I could give him shit for it, he shoved me off the last step. I fell back into the pool and hissed when the cold water enveloped me, hurriedly standing to come up for air. I coughed out the water I had swallowed, and rubbed the water from my eyes and fixed my glare on Harry. 

"You asshole." I seethed and he chuckled, jumping from the last step and towards me. I leaned away from him and held my hands up to shield my face from the splash he made, trying to push him away when he wrapped me in his arms and puckered his lips at me. When he got close to kissing me I slapped my hand over his mouth and held it there, watching his eyes grow wide at my action. 

"No kisses for you." I stated, grinning when I saw the corners of his eyes droop down. I took a step back from him, and once I was far enough away I dropped my hand from his mouth and swam away quickly. I heard him following after me and quickly tried to swim towards Louis, knowing he'd keep Harry away if I asked him to. 

Just as Harry was about to catch me I threw my body forward and into Louis' shoulder, making him stumble into the wall he was leaning against. I quickly shoved my body between him and the wall, pushing him in front of me and ducking down behind him to hide from Harry. Louis laughed and I peeked around him to see Harry had stopped in front of Louis with his eyes narrowed and a small smile on his lips. 

"Louis move." He said easily and I clutched Louis' arm, giggling when Harry frowned at the action. Louis laughed and I wanted to smack him when he purposely leaned back, putting more of his weight on me.

"Nah, I think I'll keep her for a bit." 

Harry glared at Louis but shook his head and rolled his eyes, looking at me from around Louis. "I'll get you later." He pointed his finger at me and laughed as he turned around, swimming away and towards Niall and Nicole. I sighed when he did and Louis took a step away from me, looking over his shoulder at Harry before meeting my eyes. 

"You two fighting or something?" He asked and I laughed, shaking my head. 

"Nah, just messing with him." I smiled when I looked over at Harry and Louis laughed too, but it had faded when he glanced between the two of us. 

"Hey, listen," His tone had turned serious and it made me tear my eyes away from Harry to look at him. "I need to ask you something." 

"Okay, what?" I said uncertainly and a crease grew in the middle of his forehead before he moved to lean against the wall next to me, glancing at Harry briefly and then back at me.

"You're not coming back with us tomorrow, are you?" He asked slowly and the small smile I held fell away, my mood dulling. 

"I..." 

"Just tell me the truth." Louis said seriously and I bit my lip, wondering how the hell he had figured it out. It's not like I had said anything to anyone. 

"No," I shook my head slowly and ducked my head down. "I'm not." 

Louis sighed and lifted his wet hand to brush his hair, glancing at Harry again and narrowing his eyes. He seemed lost in thought and his lips twisted before he turned back to look at me. "He knows, you know." He said and my eyes widened. 

"But, how? I didn't say anything." I said hastily, racking my brain for any signs. I mean yeah I had a feeling he might have known but the only possible sign could have been my unpacked bag. But then again, I'm a procrastinator and he knows that.

"He just said he had a feeling." Louis said lowly and I frowned, my eyes traveling across the pool to Harry. He was laughing with Niall and Nicole, who were both acting lovey. He watched them in happiness and part of me felt bad for being the one who was going to ruin that. "You should tell him, I mean he knows already but it'd be better if you actually told him." 

"I was going to, but I don't know how to." I mumbled and Louis nodded. He looked down at the water and moved his hands underneath it, a small frown growing on his face that I started to fear what he was going to say. 

"You know he loves you, so much. And I know you love him too, and trust me when I say I love you guys together but," He paused and chewed on his lip. "He was a wreck when you left him, Kaydence. He wouldn't move on and it was eating him away inside. I'm rooting for you two don't think I'm not but I don't want to see him suffer again. If you're not planning on coming back to him anytime soon, let him go."

I didn't answer him, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach at his words. I didn't want to let Harry go at all but I knew Louis was right. I didn't know when I'd be leaving here or how long I was planning on staying, and I didn't want to hold Harry back. I had done that enough this past year and he deserved someone who was going to be there for him all the time, and right now I couldn't promise him that. I could tell he wanted all of my attention and as much as I loved him I wouldn't be able to give him it. He had his career to focus on, his family to mend things with while I had my own family I needed to get to know now. I promised I wouldn't leave him again, and I wasn't. I'd still be here, maybe not as his girlfriend or a love interest, but as a friend. I wouldn't disappear from his life again, I was simply going to do just what Louis had advised, and let him go.

H a r r y

My skin was hot and burning from all the sun we had gotten today and my body ached from the horse back riding we did. My stomach was full from all the junk food we had eaten for dinner, we decided to stuff our faces with pizza and sweets while watching scary movies instead of having a typical proper meal. Nicole wasn't happy at all about the scary movies, she almost cried when Louis had suggested it but she managed to get through it when Niall had promised to let her sit in his lap. I had a feeling those two were going to last. 

Kaydence wasn't as scared to watch the movies until we actually began watching them. She was so into the movie, screaming when the scary parts came. The first movie we watched she hadn't gotten that scared but once we put 'The Conjuring' on, she was done for. I laughed every time she shook her head and muttered 'fuck no' when the ghost had dragged the girl around the house by her hair and Kaydence moved to hide her face in my shoulder. 

It was now past midnight and everyone had decided it was time for bed considering we'd have to wake up early in the morning. Kaydence frowned when Louis had said that and it confused me when they shared a knowing look with each other. I saw them talking in the pool earlier and Kaydence's mood had shifted once they had. She seemed down and her smiles seemed unreal through out the day. I had caught her staring at me with this look on her face that gave me an uneasy feeling, but every time she'd see me looking back she would quickly smile at me to disguise it. 

And now, that look had returned as she stole glances at me when we walked down the hallway to the bedroom. I opened the door for us and closed it once she entered, locking the door and leaning against it briefly as I took her in. She was wearing small cotton shorts and a white tank top that was too thin, allowing me to see the outline of her bra through it. She had her back turned to me and kept walking to the bed but I stayed where I was, crossing my arms as I gazed at her. She was sitting on the bed now with her legs crossed and her hands resting on her lap, her long hair hanging in loose waves down her chest. Her face was bare with no make up and her light brown eyes looked bigger in the dim light coming from the moon and through the window. She looked absolutely breathtaking, and I knew this imagine of her would be stuck in my head for the rest of my life. 

"What?" She asked softly and I tilted my head, studying her face and trying to read her. She was doing a good job at hiding her feelings, but I think the fact that she spent the day trying to hide them was wearing her down. They were becoming more prominent as the seconds passed and her wall was starting to tear down the longer I stared at her. She blinked at me when I didn't answer her, and her eyes seemed glassy. 

"I already know, Kaydence." I said slowly. The feeling had arrived yesterday that she was going to stay behind and today, the feeling grew stronger when Kay had insisted on spending time with us. Everything had felt so final, and it reminded me of the way what making love to her felt like the night she had left me. The way she kept looking at me and tracing my tattoos like she didn't want to forget them. She kept doing little things here and there that reminded me of that, like when she had let Lightning run even though she was terrified. She let that happen because she wanted to give me that, and I knew it then and I knew it now that she wasn't coming home with me tomorrow. It just took a little time for me to be able to confront her about it, I guess saying it out loud made it real. And I didn't want it to be. 

"Harry," She breathed out and the facade she had been keeping up, completely crumbled. Her shoulder's fell and her eyes watered as she looked at me in defeat, her lip quivering and her hands shaking slightly. "I'm..I'm sorry." She sucked in a breath and shook her head. "I'm not coming with you tomorrow." 

Even though I was already aware of it, her words still stung and I forced down the lump at the back of my throat. I gave her a small but sad smile, and nodded. "I know, love." 

She bit her lip and kept her face hidden, her hair shielding her from me. I pushed myself away from the door and sauntered over to her, sitting at the edge of the bed in front of her and slipping my finger under her chin. I tilted her face up and tucked her hair behind her ears with my other hand, making her glossy eyes meet mine. My heart sunk when I saw the sad look on her face and abruptly pulled her into me, hugging her tightly. 

"It's okay, baby. I understand." I said quietly into her hair and her shoulders shook. Her fingers dug into my back and I breathed her in, afraid of how much I was going to miss this. "You got your family, I get it. Don't feel bad." 

"That's not why..." She sniffled and I pulled back to look at her, my eyebrows pulling together in confusion. 

"Then why?"

"I..." She paused and her eyes flickered to mine before looking down at the sheets. "I don't know, I uh guess I'm just going to miss you." 

"I'm going to miss you too," I leaned in and kissed her forehead. "But you'll be back in LA soon, so it'll be okay." I said and she pressed her lips together while nodding.

"I'm sorry..." She said quietly and I moved to crawl on the bed next to her, putting my hands on her waist and pulling her on top of me as I lied down. 

"Kaydence, please stop apologizing. I know why you need to do this, and it'd be selfish of me if I asked you to come with me," I rubbed her back and bent my head to kiss the top of hers. "No matter how badly I want to keep you all for myself, I won't hold you back." 

She didn't say anything, only fiddled with my shirt as she sniffled. I lied there in silence with her for several minutes until she eventually grew quiet and I thought she might have fallen asleep. She swung her leg over mine, giving me the indication that she wasn't asleep afterall and leaned up on her elbow to look down at me. I met her light brown eyes and lightly wiped the wetness away from them, making her blink. She gazed down at me and just before I could ask her what she was thinking, she swiftly bent her head and kissed me. Her lips were soft and tasted a mixture of salt from the tears that had touched them, and skittles that she had eaten earlier. She moved her lips slowly and that spark I had gotten when I first kissed her in that ally about a year ago was still here as she kissed me now. Her hands were soft against my cheek and I felt my stomach do a flip when she played with the ends of my curls. I kissed her like she was the most fragile thing in this world, wanting her to feel exactly how much I loved her. We kept kissing till our lips were sore and even after that when it grew hot and urgent. We hardly pulled away from each other, only briefly to catch our breaths but not even when we peeled our clothes off each other. I drowned in the way her hot skin felt against mine and how it felt like I could never get enough of those plump lips. My lips hurt but it didn't stop me from kissing her as I made love to her, or even after when we had both reached our highs and I lied down next to her. I kissed her until my lips couldn't move anymore, and I felt sleep pulling me away from her. I did it, because a very small part of me, didn't know if I would get the chance to ever again.

...........

I have never wanted to not wake up more then I had this morning. My alarm had gone off a half hour before we were supposed to be leaving and instead of the usual groan I'd let out just because I was too tired to wake up, I stayed quiet. Dread had filled me, and my stomach twisted uncomfortably as Kaydence slowly blinked her eyes open to look at me. She too hadn't moved out of the bed, just stayed to stare at me. Neither of us spoke, too afraid of words ruining the moment but when I heard Liam calling that we were leaving in ten minutes, I closed my eyes and sighed before reluctantly getting out of bed. I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth, pissing and then walking back out to get changed. Kaydence didn't move except to turn on her back as she watched me get dress, her eyes followed my every move and they seemed to grow sad when I packed the last of my stuff and zipped my leather bag up. 

I stood up straight, pushing my hair back and gazing at Kaydence from across the room. She had sat up from the bed, and when Liam called for me I knew we were just about ready to leave. Time seemed to be moving too fast and I wanted it to slow down so I could get just a few more minutes with Kaydence. She too looked like she wanted more time with me but she sighed and crawled out of bed, slipping her bra on under her loose t-shirt and pulling her hair up. She quickly went to the bathroom and when she came back out, she put a pair of sandals on and turned to me. 

"Guess it's time." I muttered and she slowly nodded, motioning me to walk out the door. I opened the bedroom door and walked down the hallway with her trailing not far behind me. When I reached the living room, everyone already had their things ready next to the door. Five pair of eyes met mine and I knew by the look on Niall's face that I probably looked just as miserable as I felt. 

"You ready?" Liam asked slowly and I nodded. They went to pick up their stuff and we all walked out of the guest house, stopping at the back door like James had made us promise to do. We knocked, and not even ten seconds later James was opening it for us and motioning us inside. He lead us towards the front door where Emma, Char, and all the kids were standing. They looked half asleep but still managed to drag themselves out of bed just to say bye to us. 

Char opened her arms widely for me and I chuckled, moving towards her and giving her a tight hug. "I'll miss you." She said sleepily and I squeezed her. 

"You too," I smiled and turned my head so only she would be able to hear me. "Take care of your sister for me." I said quietly and she nodded. I released her, and did a high five with Logan and Aiden, hugging Livy tightly and kissing her cheek. I hesitated when It came to Emma, but if I had any hope at being with Kaydence in the future I would have to grow to like her. "Emma," I said, giving her a nod and she hesitated before stepping to me and giving me a hug. I froze when she did but let one arm wrap around her. 

"Treat her well." I said to her and she took a step back, nodding and giving me a tight smile. I swear to god, she better treat her right. 

James held his hand out to me and I shook it, patting his shoulder with my other. "It was great meeting you." 

James grinned and nodded, briefly glancing over at Kaydence. "Hopefully this won't be the last time." He said, throwing me a wink and I chuckled. I hoped it wouldn't be. 

After everyone else said bye as well, Kaydence held the door open for us and closed it after she followed us out. We walked to the escalade parked against the sidewalk, Liam unlocking the door and opening the trunk. We each placed our bags in the back while Kaydence stood with her arms crossed across her chest, a sullen look on her face. Once the last of our stuff was in the back, I closed the back and turned to meet Kay's sad eyes. Nicole stepped up first and hugged Kaydence tightly, kissing the side of her head and making her promise to call everyday. She agreed, and once she was finished she climbed inside the car. The lads each said bye to her quickly and Louis lingered, hugging her longer then the others had and muttering something in her ear. Whatever he had said had made her eyes close and she gave him a silent nod, squeezing his hand before he took a step away from her and got in the car. 

Now it was just her and I, and I stood there not knowing what the right thing was to say. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her or how much I was going to miss her but she knew both those things already. She fiddled with the end of her shirt and bit her lip, gazing at me with an unreadable expression. She had that wall back up. 

"So," She said, being the first to break the silence. "I guess this is it." She laughed quietly but I knew it was fake. 

"Yeah." I sighed and took a few steps towards her until I was right in front of her. "Everything is going to be okay." I said, cupping her face in my hands and letting my thumbs brush against them. She stared at me for a moment and looked away, sighing as she grabbed my wrists gently and slowly pushed them away. 

"Harry, I don't know when I will be coming back." She said quietly and I swear my heart stopped. 

I stared at her, my mouth gaped open and my eyes unblinking. "What?" 

"I don't know when I'll be back." She said, louder this time. "I don't know if I'll be coming back." 

My breath hitched at the back of my throat, the hope I had held on to had dropped at the pit of my stomach and I felt sick, like I needed to puke. She couldn't be serious. "But, LA is your home. Why wouldn't you come back?" I asked slowly, searching her face for the answer but she wasn't letting me read her. 

"Is it though?" She asked me, stepping towards me and lightly touching my lips. "Harry, the only people I have there is Nicole and occasionally you. But here, I have a family, always." She whispered and her words struck me, making me lean away from her. 

"What are you talking about? I am there," I argued and she shook her head. "When am I not there?"

"You've got tours to go on, albums to write, a career that never stops." She said and even though I didn't want to admit it out loud I knew she was absolutely right. "You're constantly traveling Harry. And Nicole has a life too, this," She waved her hand towards the house. "Is all I have." 

"So what are you saying?" I asked, needing to hear her say it out loud. 

She bit her lip again and tears started to well up in her eyes but she straightened her shoulders and swallowed her sadness down, visibly forcing herself to be strong. "I'm saying don't wait for me." 

"What?" I asked a little breathlessly, feeling as if my chest were sinking in on itself. What the fuck, I didn't want this. 

"Don't wait for me." She said again and this time when she stepped towards me I stayed planted where I was. "I want you to move on with your life. Do what you want, don't listen to management or your parents. You choose what you want. And..." She paused and swallowed again but I could tell whatever she was going to say next was already hurting her. "And if you find someone else that you care about and love, be with them. Don't let me stand in the way of you being happy." 

"Kaydence, we've been over this already. You make me happy." I pleaded with her and I didn't even give a shit about how pathetic I sounded. I needed her to understand. 

"I know, It's not like that this time though. I'm not leaving you because I think I'm a burden I'm just letting you go." She mumbled and a single tear slipped out of her eye but she quickly wiped it away. "I want you to be happy, even if it's not me making you happy." 

I released a shaky breath but forced the lump at the back of my throat down. "So that's it? We're never talking again?" I asked, slightly panicking that this would really be the last time I would ever see her. Fuck, I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready for any of this, for us to be over. 

"Of course we will," She gave me a small smile and caressed my cheek. "We can talk whenever. I'm here if you ever want to talk, I'm still your friend." 

"Friend." I scoffed at the word and the corner of her mouth twitched into a smile. I didn't want her to be my fucking friend I wanted her to be my girlfriend, and someday my wife. 

"Yes, friend." She smiled at me and sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder. "If you fall in love with someone else or...sleep with someone else I don't want you to feel bad about it. Live your life." 

"I hope you don't expect me to say the same to you." I said, completely serious. "At least not the falling in love or fucking someone else. Like I said I'm selfish as fuck." I muttered and she laughed, giving me a pointed look but not answering me. I knew I had no right to say what she did with her life especially if this meant we weren't together, but I hoped she wouldn't fall for someone else. I didn't want to move on from her and I didn't want her to move on from me. 

"Just promise me? Promise you'll do whatever makes you happy and just live your life? Don't let me stand in the way." 

I didn't respond to her and she squeezed my shoulder, tilting my face down with her hand to meet her hard gaze. Man, I'd miss those brown eyes. "Promise?" 

"Yeah," I sighed and nodded, knowing that this shit was going to hurt. "I promise." 

She hesitated before giving me a small smile and wrapping her arms around me. "Good."

"Yeah." I mumbled sadly, hugging her so tight I was sure I'd break her but she didn't seem to mind. We stood there hugging for a good two minutes until Liam honked the horn, telling us it was time for me to go. I groaned lowly and Kaydence laughed, pulling away to look at me. She met my eyes, until they flickered down to look at my lips and she leaned in to give me a gentle, lingering kiss. 

She pulled away before I could deepen it and a feeling of pure emptiness filled my chest when she took a step back and squeezed my hand. "See you."

"Keep in touch?" I asked hopefully and she nodded, giving me a wide smile but I could see the tears she was holding back.

"Course I will." She promised and I forced myself to grin at her, even though I wanted to crawl into bed and cry like the pathetic asshole I was. I started to turn away but then I glanced back at her again to see her holding herself, as if she physically needed to hold herself together from falling apart. 

"Promise to call me if you ever come back to LA?" I asked her, knowing I was just trying to gain more time with her but Liam honking the horn again told me my time was up. 

Those perfect lips of hers quirked up into a small smile and she nodded. "I don't know when that will be, but yes I will." 

I smiled at her, a real one this time, because little did she know was that I was silently making a promise to her. "That's okay. I'll wait." 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'm crying. 

One door closes, and another one opens. 

Thank you guys that have been reading this whole time, even you ghosts. Hope you enjoyed this super long chapter. 2 more left. D; 

Vote vote vote & comment thoughts please <3 what do you think might happen?