A/N:  This chapter contains instances of sexual harassment and abuse that may be upsetting. If you would rather, feel free to skip over these parts.

******

  Hana didn't cry as she walked to the bus stop in the chilly fall air.

   Or as she scanned her card and took a seat in the back of the bus.

   Remarkably, she'd made it farther than she thought she would. In her head, she thought that maybe she'd even make it to the apartment before she broke down into tears. As each moment ticked by, she felt both relieved and tenser. She needed to break, but she had to wait until she was alone. In her head, she told herself that she could endure it.

   Then ten minutes from her apartment, a new man boarded the bus.

   He was an older man and he was dressed in a security uniform of some kind. His hair was disheveled and his uniform was wrinkled. Hana wasn't an expert on facial hair, but it seemed like the man had missed a day or two of shaving. Dark circles hung under his eyes and he squinted, causing more wrinkles to form on his face.

   He was noticeably drunk, and the stench of alcohol and his demeanor brought back the memories she'd pushed away in Hoseok's room.

   One thought went through her mind as she watched the man scan his card.

   "Please don't sit by me." Hana kept repeating this in her mind.

   However, she watched as his eyes scanned the bus for empty seats, and there were few left at so busy a time in the day.

   One of them was the seat directly beside her. It took only a few seconds for his eyes to lock onto it.

   In moments he was beside her.

   Her body went into lockdown as his scent filled her nostrils.

   Fear filled Hana again.

   She tried to calm herself with deep breaths and rational thoughts.

   "He's just drunk, not stupid, he's harmless. Chill out. You can't think the worst of people so quickly." She repeated these things to herself like a mantra, frantically trying to wish them into reality.

   However, it didn't take long for the man to start speaking to Hana.

   They weren't phrases she would ever repeat. She sat straight in her seat and looked forward, trying her best to ignore the man.

   As soon as his grimy hand touched her thigh, she rose. Quickly she moved to stand in the aisle and she got off at the next stop, not caring that there were still two blocks to her apartment.

   Mechanically Hana walked the remaining blocks to her apartment, not noticing the things around her. She had to focus on getting herself home. It was hard to keep herself from letting the crashing waves of her fear and emotions wash over her head.

   Everything felt unreal.

   And strangely familiar.

   Hana pressed in the key code to enter her apartment. Stepping in she slid off her shoes, not bothering to turn the lights on.

   She allowed her back to hit the wall.

   It felt like something was fighting to get out of her. Something raw and fierce and uncontrollable.

   The tears started to roll down her cheeks as she slid down to the floor. Everything was too much.

   The man. His words. Hoseok.

   The memories.

   She closed her eyes, still trying to suppress the emotions rising up in her.

   The memories were too strong for her.

******

   When she was fifteen, her father had to leave for America for his work. Hana's mother and Hana had stayed behind as her parents didn't want to complicate Hana's education.
For a time everything was fine. Yes, she missed her father, but she knew he would come back. So Hana continued on in her studies dutifully, working hard so that her father would be proud of her.

   Then her mother was called away on business to Busan for two weeks. She sent Hana to stay with an uncle who lived on the opposite side of the city so that she wouldn't miss school. She told Hana it would be fine. It was only two weeks after all.

   It had been years since she'd seen her uncle, there was just never a time in their family's busy schedule for a visit. However, she calmed herself by recalling the very good memories she had of him. He had always been a kind uncle to Hana. Two weeks wouldn't be very hard, especially with school occupying most of her time.

   In the time she'd last visited her uncle, he had changed though. Not even her parents knew that he had become a closeted alcoholic, a raging one at that. He wasn't the man her family had remembered, not anymore.

   Hana didn't know what he'd become until the second night she stayed there. The door slammed at nine o'clock, and then again at one in the morning. Hana winced as she heard glass smashing and things fall down onto the floor with thuds.

   He would yell drunkenly and angrily, and then the house would fall quiet again.
   Empty bottles and cans littered the floor and counters in the morning when Hana left for school.

   This happened night after night for the next few days.

   On the fifth night he didn't stay away from Hana though. Every other night she'd just pulled her blanket over her head tightly and waited for her uncle to quiet down, drifting off to sleep uneasily.

   Tonight though, her door rattled and he came into the room. Hana yelled and told him to stop. She kicked and flailed her fists about.

   And he did eventually.

   Only after his hands had roved all over her body. And only after he had left bruises all over her body. Only after he'd gotten what he'd come for.

   Once he was gone she locked her door and called her mother, speaking in a hushed tone, fighting back hysterics.

   Within the hour police had arrived, and soon after that Hana's mother had as well.

  Her memories on the resolution were blurry. Things just seemed to happen, and she was just there.

   Hana had never told Hoseok; she'd only told one other person besides her parents and the police.

   But the memories from that night stuck with her, even after she had tried to bury them.

   The smell of alcohol on her uncle's breath.

   The harshness of his hands.

   The sting of her salty tears.

   The feeling of powerlessness.

  Those same memories had risen to the forefront of her mind in Hoseok's room, sparked by the intense smell of alcohol. Then they had risen again as the man sat and harassed her.

   Now the emotions that had loomed on the horizon of Hana's mind broke free. Loud sobs wracked her body as she let the waves break over her head.

  She yelled at the empty apartment around her.

  At the man on the bus.

  At her uncle.

  At Hoseok.

  At herself.

  Because now, just like then, Hana felt powerless.

******

   She called in sick the next day, and for the rest of the week. Hana was barely able to get out of bed.

   Phone calls and messages came, but she didn't respond.

   She didn't want to talk.

   Especially to the people she knew were calling.

   Hana didn't want to talk to her parents.
   Hana didn't want to talk to Bong Ki or Jimin or her sister.

   And she most definitely didn't want to talk to Hoseok.

   She didn't even want to think about him, because every time she did, she heard his words.
   And they stung every single time.

   Hana just wanted to stay in bed snuggled in her blankets, safe from the world.

   Safe from people.

   Safe from Hoseok.

A/N:

Please eat well and take care of yourselves!

(Edited July 2019)

*Novi*