Myungjun let a sigh escape his full lips as the little hand went crazy on the huge clock. It had been hours since he had left the green velvet sofa that faced a long and metallic shaft. Only object moving in the black room, it kept swinging as the boy's gaze followed it. Everything around him had been drowned into the darkness a long time ago, when he had shut the doors down. His friends were lost as they left this room. Now, he was waiting for them. 

His gaze fell on a white sticky paper resting on the armchair. A message from another time. Some salty pearls tried to escape his eyes. The boy hid his face while holding his knees against him. Myungjun had always been the tiniest and most fragile member out of their crew. His friends, working with him in this weird place they called the Blackout, had protected him from all the dangers that came with taking care of a place that ruled Space and Time. He waited for them when they had to cross the circular windows and hoped they would come back from these tricky timelines. Until they got lost.

Everything started with Moonbin. One day, he took Myungjun's place to pace up and down the long corridors of time. He never came back. Sanha thought that he may have lost his compass, the only item that could help them find their way back into the Blackout. He would return, they trusted him enough to know that. However, how could they know when? The time was distorted into the station. Raised in multiples floors that wrap themselves around the heart, circles of time and life, the Blackout was embellished by numerous doors and windows that let the caretakers cast a glance at the beauty of planets and stars, or at the greatness of the different worlds. Each gate let them reach a different kingdom or a different time. Their mission had always seemed unclear and they just knew they had to look after this place. They needed to make sure everything was alright and that there wasn't any mistake in any timeline or in any world. After all, they had been raised and chosen for that task.

Therefore, when Moonbin got lost, no one panicked at first. At least no one except Myungjun. His anxiety had started to increase soon after, leaving the boy in a complete mess when one of his friends had to travel. He had always been sure that he wasn't the right one for this life but the Council had a different way of thinking. They had named him there, the oldest of five boys full of life and laugh when he was just a tiny man with chubby cheeks and childish fears. But he had grown attached to them as they had become his new family, even more loving than his original one. He had developed into loving Sanha's way of grumbling that he wasn't a baby anymore and that he was way taller than him. He had started to cry out of laughter with Moonbin. He became more aware of Dongmin's and Minhyuk's gentle presence as they took part in the enormous chaos that summed up their group. He had looked after them as Jinwoo, the second oldest, took the lead for their travel when he wasn't messing with them.

Jinwoo had been the one who held his hand one night when Myungjun couldn't do anything but cry because of the fear boiling his blood. The blonde guy had woken up and had searched for his elder before finding him in front of the door that had been closed behind Moonbin's footsteps.

*
"How can you handle this?" Myungjun had asked in the shadows of the place.

"If I don't, who will hold you up?" Jinwoo questioned back with a small smile, slowly intertwining their hands.
*

That night, Myungjun's heart flutter when the other stayed by his side. When he had first met him, he used to be impressed by the charisma that emanated from the tattooed blonde boy. Jinwoo wasn't tall either however his presence was assertive compared to Myungjun's. The others listened to him and had accepted his lead as no one could do better without him. They would have been a mess without him. Myungjun had always known that. He admired him. He wished he would have been as strong as him.

Jinwoo had started to take an important place in his life as his stress became harder to handle. He had found the words to soothe him, the right gestures to heal his tormented mind. They had balanced each other. Myungjun had let him take care of him, finding reassurance into this infectious smile, believing that nothing would happen while in the man's arms during those dark nights they ended spending together in front of the gates. He had thought that he was safe. Even if their family was falling into disrepair following Moonbin's loss, he thought that he would be safe if he kept Jinwoo at his side.

Unfortunately, his own nightmares escaped from his mind to become the reality of a boy staying still in a dark room. As the time went by, the clock disintegrated them. And Myungjun had been deprived of his only family.

His sobs increased as he resolutely hold his knees against himself. He was alone. Minhyuk had left to find Moonbin with only a few words and a hand on Myungjun's shoulder. They all knew he was the most fragile so the younger boy made sure to reassure him. He would come back. But he never did. Jinwoo and Dongmin assured them that the two boys should at least have found each other even though Sanha and Myungjun knew they were only trying not to worry. They had lost two of their brothers, after all, and not knowing what happened to them had been painful for the four of them.

Time's contingency traumatized them, driving their minds crazy by dint of hope.

One night, Myungjun had paced up and down the Blackout's hall as he did for months. He had tried not to wake up Jinwoo when he got up from the other's bed, since the shadows under his eyes had become even more obvious after Minhyuk's departure. For once, the tiny caretaker had tried to look after him more than anyone. He had never wanted to be the only one needing the other.

Leaving the affectionate caresses for his walk, it had been on that night that he had perceived an unclear murmur, revealing itself to be Sanha and Dongmin, visibly not drown in the arms of Morpheus. Myungjun had always admired the cheerful nature of the purple-hair boy likewise the consoling aura of Dongmin, so finding them lost in their thoughts, quiet and unsure of their future had been a weird experience for the scaredy-cat. They were his brothers. However, how could he have comfort them when he didn't know the answers they were looking for?

Letting go of their balance had been the hardest. Jinwoo had kept on saying that they should wait for the Council to name other caretakers but none of them believed they could discover a relationship as strong as the one the six of them had in the past. Myungjun kept on worrying about what they should say if Moonbin and Minhyuk came back. Would they even see their smiles again?

*

"Did you ever think of leaving like they did?" Myungjun had wondered one day.

"For what? Leaving you alone here?" Jinwoo had whispered as he had relaxed next to him on the green sofa. "I should be the one asking you that, you know. You put up with way more than you could."

A small smile had crossed his soft face, his eyes gazing at their intertwined hands, Jinwoo's thumb slightly drawing circles on his skin. They had never been really open about what they shared but, to them, silence meant everything. Both of them didn't want to express their alleged feelings, fearing the future more than they used to.

"Are your nightmares still there?" Jinwoo had asked quietly, looking at the black-haired boy.

Myungjun had only nodded for a while, diving his eyes into the other male's gaze, thoughtful.

"I still hope to see them come back, you know... They told me to have faith in them, I guess it's what I do." He had let a sigh escape as Jinwoo's free hand delicately wandered in his hair. "I'm sorry. I've been a burden and Moonbin left because I was scared of visiting those worlds and times. I should have go."

"He knew what he was doing. We all did. And we all knew we wanted to protect you from what's outside of the Blackout. You've always been our anchor by waiting for us. Our family was the reason we had to come back."

A tear had silently left his eye as Jinwoo's words echoed in his mind, soon wiped by his friend. At that time, in the back of his head, Myungjun had already known he was going to do something dumb.

*

And now, where was he? He had been lucky enough to find his way back after breaking through one of the dark gates. Ridges of light had led him back to the Blackout, leaving him out of breath and frightened by the world he had just seen. He still remembered the upside down stairs and islets, destroyed or worn out. He still remembered shouting Moonbin's and Minhyuk's names for what seemed like hours. He still remembered his sobs as he had fallen against the harsh ground of his weird home.

Initially, he had thought that he should find them. Not that he hadn't been scared as hell but he hadn't been able to suppress the guilt of letting them go when he should have done his part of the mission. He did nothing and they lost themselves. He couldn't be the anchor Jinwoo talked about. He didn't deserve to be called like that way when he thought he was the one who had messed up.

Myungjun had cried for a long time, crouched on the ground, before running in the dark to find Jinwoo. The silence of the place had him worried. He needed to go back into the arms of the one that protected him. But Jinwoo hadn't shown himself since, leaving him alone.

Tears getting dry, Myungjun remembered how he had wandered around the Blackout to find him, getting a glance at every window, every world without daring to cross them. The sound of the station's heart was still making him recollect his memories. The empty rooms. The cold beds. The dusty kitchen. The silence. And just a white sticky note.

Myungjun felt incredibly stupid and weak. It had been three months since he had understood that he hadn't gotten back in the right timeline. He came back when the Blackout was empty. No other caretakers sent by the Council. Just the sound of the heart's clock to break the heavy silence. He had screwed up.

At first, he had wondered what had happened to Jinwoo. He had panicked, thinking of all the possibilities in an endless number of sleepless nights while most of them were not good. He had repeatedly murmured his apologies in the corridors. He had vainly thought he could be useful, that he could take them back and that stupid thought made him lose the last person he had at his side.

He missed him.

Still seating on the green couch, Myungjun took a last look at the messy black ink covering the small paper. When he had realized that all-nighters won't change anything and that sleeping on the ground in front of the different gates won't make Jinwoo come back, he had found his way back to his bed with a blank mind. Yes, his nightmares were still there. They were his reality. The lonely boy had looked at the ceiling without being able to find sleep at first, uncomfortable in what seemed like an unknown bed. He had finally let himself collapse on Jinwoo's bed, hoping that his strong fragrance would still be there, offering a rest to his mind.

He didn't know how much time he had slept. Who would have cared? He was alone.

"I can only hope you will come back. I can only think that you wanted our family back and I'm sorry I couldn't preserve here. Wait for me. I'll find a way to get to you." 

He had found the note next to the bed when his lids had finally fluttered open themselves. Dried from exhaustion and tears, his eyes had missed the white paper until the boy had curled up, searching more of the missing presence. The sound of the note had gotten him startled and looking at it had given him a new hope.

He thought that time was against them, that Jinwoo would imperil his safety. The only way of finding each other back was for one of them to travel through the gates, without getting lost in the meandering of the multiples kingdoms until they enter the same timeline again. Would it even happen?

Myungjun took a look at the room he was in. He didn't know how much time he spent into the Blackout's heart, the golden shaft moving regularly behind the velvet sofa. He had lost the idea of time as waiting became his daily life, only talking to his own reflections and smiling to his memories. Sometimes, his mind would imagine some weird sounds as he wondered if he was getting punished for his fears. So when a snap resonated in the Blackout, he didn't move. He just put the paper that had become his lucky charm down and looked at the shaft. Time could seem so short or so stagnant that many lost their minds while trying to study it. The tick-tock of the clock was coming off louder than what he had noticed before as he stood up to look at it. He used to stay there with Jinwoo, alone with this sharp shaft that watched them grow together and apart. He could still hear his deep voice sometimes, remembering the old times and closing his eyes to make his dreams his reality. He had never dared to think too much about the meaning of their relationship and he was regretting it. He was regretting every chance he didn't take to hold his hand, cuddle in the stronger arms, and most of all, he didn't take the chance of telling him how he felt. How his presence became the only thing that mattered. The only thing that kept him in the Blackout.

It may have been because of all this time spent alone or because of all those thoughts crossing his mind. There must have been multiples reasons to why he got startled by the bang on the door that made him turn over. His eyes widened as the wood teared itself up to reveal a small stocky shadow. Myungjun blinked a few times. He couldn't believe it. As his body hesitated to move forward, his hand rose towards the fantasy that, he believed, must have been a dream created by his loneliness. 

"Are you deaf? I've been screaming for so long!" The shadow slightly grumbled as it moved forward.

A tear fell down the round cheeks of Myungjun while he watched the small amount of light embracing the face of his unexpected guest. His voice seemed hoarser than it used to but he had no doubt on its owner. Watching Jinwoo walking towards him, looking pale and tired, Myungjun could only break down. He stumbled towards him, crying, thanking all the differents gods he knew for answering his prayers, and Jinwoo soon caught him strongly in his arms, placing the smallest's head in the crook of his neck.

"You look terrible, Jinwoo." Myungjun sobbed, his hands clinging onto the other male's shirt.

The little blonde just let out a small laugh of relief.

"I told you I would find you."

He did little more than hugging the man he had feared he would never see again, knowing more than anyone how scared and guilty he must have felt. They were similar on some points. But even with Myungjun hiding against him, Jinwoo could perceive how fragile he looked when he entered the room, his curly dark hair, completely messed up, barely hiding the dark circles under his eyes. Even now, he could feel him shivering in his embrace.

Myungjun started to stutter some rough apologies mixed up with tears, adding how stupid and thoughtless he had been, however, Jinwoo could care less about this. The important thing was that both of them made it alive. Every thought that had animated them during those months was rushing in their veins as they finally look at each other, lost in the darknesses of their respective gazes. Jinwoo's was soft and deep, calming as Myungjun's seemed shiny, trembling but intense. With all the time they used, they could have sorted the things happening between them, voicing them out to hear their words resonate against the walls. However, when Myungjun opened his mouth to broach the subject, trying to convey his feeling without losing focus because of the other's gaze, Jinwoo could only cut him short with a small smile.

"I know."

Taking advantage of a suddenly speechless Myungjun, he rested a hand on his cheek as he finally found the way to the soft lips, reddened by being bitten too much out of nervosity. The contact made them melt against each other, the two soul forgetting everything else that wasn't the present moment. They held onto each other as if there wouldn't be any tomorrow, expressing their fears, their relief, their loss, and, most importantly, their feelings that had been held way too long as they had both refused to dare imagine more than a physical relationship. Myungjun's mind was gone and blank as lost himself against the one he was waiting for, refusing to leave him this time.

They would meet their family at another time. At this moment, they were alone. But at least, they were together.