I stand in the bathroom, staring at my reflection. Taking a wet cloth, I wipe my face clean of all the powders and make-up equipment that strange woman had applied on me today. I look down at the ring on my finger; it looks strange, alien to me. I rip it off and bang it against the cabinet. Frustration grips me and I fight the urge to collapse on the floor and sob. Damon, my love, he wants nothing to do with me.

Removing all the pins from my hair, I let it drop loose, gently massaging my scalp and return to my bedroom so Mary can help me change.

As she loosens my corset, Mary tries to spark a conversation, "So, how did you find the engagement?"

"It was... okay." I reply monotonously.

Mary sighs and helps into my night-dress before saying, "You miss him a lot, don't you?"

I inhale deeply, forcing the tears back, "Mary, please. I don't want to talk about him. I have to let go. Mother says a good wife is a committed wife, so I have to commit myself to Emmanuel without any distractions."

"Why are you sacrificing so much for her?"

"Because I'm the only family she has. Peter... poor Peter. An illegitimate child of one night of adultery. He's my step-brother, yet my mother treats him as a work-slave. He is so happy without even having anything. He thinks he's lucky!" I exclaim loudly, putting my head in my hands, "Peter deserves so much more than this."

"When did this become about Peter? We're talking about you!" Mary chides me softly, "You need to start thinking about yourself."

"I do." I say and then turn away from her, "I'm tired. I need to sleep."

"Very well, Miss Eloise. I shall stay here until you fall asleep."

"Thank you." I say, snuggling down beneath the covers, closing my eyes against the throbbing pain that has become my heart.

***

"I have consulted to Mother after a lot of deliberation about your sudden and prolonged tantrums."

"Tantrums?" I glare at Emmanuel.

"Yes, tantrums. You can be so childish sometimes. Mother and I have decided that if you can't keep with our family's standards, we're going to have to take action."

"What kind of action?" I scoff.

"Punishment." Emmanuel says matter-of-factly.

I stare at him, my eyes wide, "Excuse me? Did you just say that you and your mother want to team together and punish me?"

"I think I did." Emmanuel nods.

"Okay, this conversation is over." I say, rising to my feet steadily, "I am not sitting here and listening to your utter filth. You are so despicable, I have decided I am not going to allow you to be in my company for at least the rest of the day."

Emmanuel stares at me in disbelief and then gathers his puny courage, "This is exactly what I'm talking about. You talk like a child that has just had it's caviar thrown away!"

"How dare you?" I hiss, "I suggest you do not talk to me any more, Emmanuel."

I stalk away indignantly, into the parlour.

Lady Elizabeth and Mother are bonding over a cup of tea. Almost immediately, Lady Elizabeth's eyes are immediately guided to my engagement finger, which rests empty and unburdened, "Eloise! Where in the world is your engagement ring?"

I feign ignorance, "Whatever do you - Oh! Where is it? I am sure I put it on this morning." To be honest, I did not put it on this morning. I distinctly remember eyeing it with unconcealed disgust and then turning my back on it in the restroom.

Mother glares at me, "Have you lost the ring already?"

"No! No, Mother, I have simply misplaced it. I shall go and visit my restroom. It must be there. I shall be right back, Mother, Lady Elizabeth." I curtsey and then back out of the parlour, closing the door firmly behind me.

Instead of going to my room as I told Mother and Lady Elizabeth, I turn to go to the servants' quarters, seeking out Damon's room. I knock on the door tentatively before going in.

Damon is sat on his bed, his head burrowed in a thick novel. I don't have the chance to glimpse at the cover before he lets it rest on the coffee table.

Damon narrows his eyes at me, "Why are you here, Miss Eloise?"

"I don't know." I reply truthfully, "Will you tell me something, Damon?"

"What?" Damon snaps harshly.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I ask, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. For a moment, Damon's eyes soften at the sight of the moistness in my eyes but then he recomposes his cold exterior. "I don't hate you, Eloise. Please do not be so petty."

"Then why aren't you talking to me?"

"So it's easier for me when you leave, okay? That is why I am no longer to be seen in your company. So I can live without you, Eloise. That is why I no longer talk to you. I can see it hurts you, anybody can. But I have no choice any more, just like you did not when I offered you freedom."

"Damon... I'm so sorry." I apologise, "I should have gone with you. I should have escaped from him. I've made a big mistake, Damon. He is even more of a monster than I originally thought. I should have run when I had the chance."

"You should have." Damon agrees and then sighs, "Eloise, I am very lost and confused at this moment in time. I feel as though everything has been blown away in the wind and it kills me - it absolutely kills me - when I see I have hurt you. But what do I do? What do I do, Eloise? I have to learn to live without you."

"Damon, you know I want nothing more than your joy, than your happiness. I am almost as lost and confused as you are; my new life does not belong to me. It belongs to a stranger who lives somewhere outside my body, and possesses me when I am in need of her. I do not know what to do, how to escape. I am not even sure I know how to love anymore." I choke back tears.

Damon walks over to me and strokes my cheek. His touch instantly lights a fire in my ice-cold body, making my face sink into his hand, tears flowing into his palm.

"You know I love you. And I will always love you, but I just cannot financially provide for you the way Emmanuel can."

"Don't." I whisper, "Don't compare him to yourself. There is no competition; I would choose you above everything. Our love may be newly discovered, but it runs through my veins instead of blood. You have become the reason I live; you are my guilty pleasure."

"That's strange, because you just described how I feel perfectly." Damon leans his forehead against mine and I sigh as my shrunken heart swells with lost love once more.

There is an abrupt knock on the door and Emmanuel's voice booms through the door, "Damon! Are you in there?"

I jump apart from Damon, my gaze locked on the door. I turn to look at Damon, who ushers me towards his wardrobe. He pushes me in, pushing shirts around to further conceal me. I hear him padding across the floor and clearing his throat before opening the door.

"Yes, Mr. Emmanuel?" Damon says courteously. I roll my eyes at his politeness.

"Have you seen Eloise?"

"No." Damon replies, his voice steady, "I have not, I am sorry to say. Why do you ask?"

"She stormed off after I explained some... arrangements to be done when she is to be my wife. If you see her, will you tell her I am looking for her?"

"Of course." Damon says.

I look around myself in the dark cupboard. It's quite small. I can still hear Emmanuel interrogating Damon. My stiff foot is suddenly barraged by pins and needles so I shift it. By shifting it, I have somehow managed to get it caught in a shirt on the floor of the cupboard.

Fighting the urge to slap myself in frustration, I reach down to untangle myself from the shirt. I lean against the wall opposite me to provide a little support and realise, too late, it is the door of the cupboard.

I go crashing to the floor, the doors flailing open, my foot still caught in that cursed shirt. Emmanuel and Damon stare at me with wide eyes.

"Eloise? What are you doing here? You, servant boy, you told me she was not here!" Emmanuel rounds on Damon, glaring sharply at him.

"Emmanuel." I call, "He did not know I was here. I snook here when Damon was outside. He was not to know of my presence."

"I am sure he did not." Emmanuel steps closer to Damon, "What do you think my father, my brother would say when they learn of this? How do you think it will sound? My fiancée, found in the wardrobe of another man! A servant, no less."

"Shut up!" I retort, "You are the most despicable creature I have ever met. Go and tell your father, go and tell your brother, do it!"

"Eloise..." Damon looks at me with wide eyes, shaking his head desperately.

"No, Damon. I have tolerated him as much as I can. Let me speak. Why don't you bring your mother as well so you can all 'punish' me?"

"What?" Damon's eyes darken, "What do you mean, punish you?"

"Emmanuel said if I were to throw any tantrums after the wedding, he and his mother would punish me." I level a snide look at Emmanuel.

Damon grabs him by his collar without warning, shaking him violently.

"You said you were going to do what?!" Damon yells at Emmanuel, "You want to put your filthy hands on Eloise? You can dare to even think of doing that? Not while I'm at her side, you worthless scum!"

"Damon!" I call, "Damon, leave him. He is not worth your anger." Beginning to panic, I run over and launch myself on to Damon's back, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, trying to pull him back.

"Damon, no, leave him!"

"Eloise, get off me!" Damon screeches, "Let me kill him. I'll kill you, you hear me?" He lurches forward and grabs Emmanuel again. I put my hands over his, trying to prise them free.

Emmanuel is screaming like a little girl who has lost her bonnet and I can't help from giggling a little.

"Damon, stop now, please." I plead, before burying my face in his shoulder in order to suppress my laughter. The door bangs open and Mother, Lady Elizabeth and her husband stand there, staring at the three of us with saucer-wide eyes.

"Eloise!" Mother is the first to react, "What in the world is the meaning of this?"

"Mother!" I say, lowering myself down off of Damon's back and straightening my ivory gown, "Actually, Mother. We were..."

"No!" Mother holds a hand up, infuriated, "You shall return to your room. Immediately. Elizabeth, Phillip, I would like to have a conversation with the both of you in the parlour. Emmanuel, I would appreciate it if you also retired to your quarters. Damon, Peter needs some assistance in the stable."

"But, Mother..."

"Quiet! You have said and done enough, Eloise Jane Kempston. I suggest you return to your room at once without another word!"

My head lowered in embarrassment, I leave the room, dashing up the stairs to my room.

Yelling in frustration, I throw myself onto the bed and thrash my arms and legs around for good measure. What am I supposed to do, just sitting here like some sort of idiot? What could Mother possibly want to say to Emmanuel's family? There is no doubt that it is about me, after what has just happened. Could she be apologising for my unruly behaviour? Or could it be something else? Could they be preparing to stop Damon working here any longer? No! I cannot let that happen. He is the only reason his mother is still alive; he is the only one who can earn in his family. I can't let Mother takes that away from him because of my stupidity. I should never have gone to his room; I should have just left him be. He might have still been troubled by our situation, but at least he wouldn't be wrought out with worry wondering whether his job is still his or not. I put my head in my hands and heave with an unshed sorrow. Worry twists my heart and a particulary jagged shard of regret pierces into my gut, almost forcing me to fold over in pain. I stare at the ground, penitence hovering over me like a dark storm cloud. It weighs down on me and the air weighs heavily down on me, as though trying to smother me. Maybe that isn't so bad. Maybe that will be a release.

Oh, heavens! What am I to do??!