"I'm not kidding, I feel perfectly fine," I said as I watched my hand disappear and reappear in front of me. "I think my magic healed me."

"There's no way," Anya said, shaking her head. "How could it just suddenly come back like that?"

"I don't know." I shook my head. "It's not a good thing that it did."

"That is correct," Gandalf answered, sounding troubled. "There is no magic here; this world was not made for such a thing. You say it attacked when you resisted it?"

"Yeah," I replied as my hand reappeared. "Like some kind of virus. When I tried to calm it down, take control of it, it attacked me. It fought, nearly boiled me alive." My hand disappeared again. "I thought I was going to die. It's never done that before."

"Nor should it," Legolas said gravely. "Magic is supposed to bend to the will of the user, not take control of them."

My fingers reappeared and I let my hand fall, a horrible feeling in my stomach blooming. "What if... I'm turning into something like her? Like Galadriel."

Everyone fell silent. Tears filled my eyes but I refused to let them fall.

"Maybe that's why she came to me," I continued, my fists clenching tightly. "To begin restoring my powers. My body treated it like some sort of virus and tried to get rid of it, making me sick. Then, when my body couldn't fight anymore, it was all given back to me at once." I looked up at Gandalf. "That was their plan, wasn't it? If anyone else had been out there, they would have died. Maybe that was why she came to me. This is just another strategy to get me to join up with them. So I can protect those I care about."

"Whatever, it didn't work," Galen snapped. "No one got hurt. And your powers seem to be listening to you now, so there's no problems. Their plan didn't work."

"What if it did?" I asked quietly. "What if I had killed you, Galen? Or Anya. Or Brian or Mary - what if someone died because of me?"

Galen kneeled down in front of me and grabbed my hands, holding them tightly. "Don't think about that," he commanded. "Don't. Because it didn't, no ifs, ands or buts about it. Do you hear me?"

I looked away from him, pulling my hands from his grasp. "I hear you."

Galen stood with a huff, knowing both that I was still upset and that there was nothing anyone could do about it.

================

I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. I don't think anyone else did, either. No one spoke during breakfast, and no one ate very much - not even Gimli.

It hurt me. So freaking bad.

I had work that day, so I went just to get away from the unending sadness around me. I was upset, and Rey noticed that I was upset, but he didn't ask and I didn't tell. It was an awkward day for us.

When it came time to close Rey finally gave me a playful shove on the shoulder. "Hey, you've been pretty down today. Something the matter?"

I couldn't look him in the eye. The second before he had hit me my body nearly grabbed his hand and broke it at the wrist. I was shaking from the effort it took to keep myself calm.

"No," I said quietly. "Nothing's the matter. I'm just tired. A little paranoid, that's all."

He stared at me for a moment before nodding, unsure of what else to say. "Probably doesn't help that your stalker's back, huh?"

I turned to look outside and, sure enough, Brian was standing outside, hands in his pockets and bouncing to keep warm. I smiled just a little, feeling just the slightest bit hopeful for the first time that day. "Actually it kind of does," I said quietly.

Rey locked up and I told him I was going to hang back a minute, confront my stalker. When he offered to just beat him up I took out a bottle of pepper spray from my clothes bag, holding it up to the light so he could see it. "I'm good. Thanks for the offer, though."

Rey seemed disappointed but nodded anyways. I apologized but all he said was to stay safe, and then he was walking away. I turned to where Brian had been standing, but he wasn't there anymore.

"I told you years ago that following me around was creepy," I said loudly. He was still nearby, I could feel him. "It's significantly more creepy now, you know."

"I can't help it," he replied, his voice coming from directly behind me. "I always feel anxious when you go somewhere I can't follow."

I nodded, turning to face him with a small smile. "You're such a loser," I chuckled, shaking my head as we began to start for the house. "Are you really alone? I'd have thought one of the shorter ones would have come with you at least."

He shrugged. "Mary convinced them that it's too cold outside."

"Fair."

We walked in silence for a while. "Why have you been following me to work?" I asked finally, my voice playful but quiet and slightly strained. "Convinced the bad guys are going to pop out of nowhere and grab me?"

"Mary thought it was a good idea."

I actually stopped walking, my voice dropping to a whisper. "Oh." My palms started to shake, so I clenched my hands. Disappointment formed a lump in my throat as Brian quickly turned around, looking confused. I quickly pulled up a smile. "Just like Mary, huh?" I chuckled. "Always looking out for me. I guess it's pretty hard standing outside in the cold for hours though, huh?"

"It's not so bad," he said with a cute smile. "I'm making sure you're safe, which is more than good enough for me. I'd face many a blizzard before I saw you hurt."

I could only laugh.

We continued in silence, but he stopped me before we reached the door of the house. "Hey," he began, but in my own misery I cut him off and finished his sentence for him.

"I know you still like her," I said quietly. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm fine with it."

He stared at me, making me lose my confidence as I looked away, down at my feet.

"Are you?" he asked, just as quietly.

Before I could stop myself I snapped, "No. Of course not." I slammed my mouth shut and grit my teeth. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"So you are upset or you aren't?" His voice raised slightly in annoyance.

"What does it matter?" I said back, caution lacing my tone. "You like her. Why does my liking you matter to you or not?"

He stepped closer, making me step back, closer to the door. "Just answer the question, Mir," he growled. "I need to know."

My breath began to shorten in a familiar way, indicating the beginning of a panic attack. "Please step back," I whispered.

"It's torturing me," he said, ignoring my plea and stepping closer. "I have to know. I have to. This pain, this desire and indecision - I can't take it anymore." My back pressed against the door and I looked away, unable to meet his desperate gaze anymore. "It's like a fire," he continued, his mouth hovering beside my ear. "It's like a fire I can't put out. When I'm with you I can't stop thinking about her, but when I'm with her I can't stop thinking about you." His lips were against my ear now, making me shiver despite the burn building in the pit of my stomach. "It's driving me insane," he whispered, his voice shaking as his hands went to the door on either side of my body, trapping me. "Help me," he whimpered, "please."

I felt the burning in my stomach rise to my throat and placed my hand on his chest. The moment I did he fell to the ground, unconscious and breathing peacefully. I knocked on the door behind me and Mary opened it. She gasped as she saw Brian on the ground, in the snow, and rushed to his side. My eyelids were heavy, the pain in my head flaring up as I stepped inside. I ripped off my coat, gloves, hat and boots and rushed upstairs, closing my bedroom door behind me. I stripped to my underwear and threw on a tank top and shorts, crawling into bed and passing out. My magic roiled within my skin but quickly settled as I feel into a heavy, dreamless sleep.