We just walked to his house and the moment we got inside, he wasted no time and started to kiss me right away. His arm supported my weight, wrapping it around my waist as we stumbled on the couch.

"K-Kite, i-is an-nyone home?" I say through his kisses.

He just shakes his head before continuing to kiss me. I found myself kissing him back and for some reason, I can't stop. He was on top of me, trying his best not to crush me with his weight. He pulls back and looks at me as I stare at the string of saliva between our lips.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks as I tried to grab his shirt and kiss him but he gets off me and sits down on the couch.

I sat up and hugged my legs against my chest.

"I-is t-there something w-wrong?" I say, suddenly becoming self-conscious.

"I don't know, I feel like I shouldn't do this with you," he says, resting his face against his palms.

"W-why not?" I say, placing down my feet on the floor.

"You're not yourself today, are you?" he asks, raising his face and looking at me.

"W-what do you mean?" I say as he just gives me a soft smile.

"Let's just talk," he says before standing up to get something from the kitchen.

He returns with two cups of coffee, giving me one. I sipped slowly and the warmth of the coffee suddenly made me realize what we were doing just a few minutes ago. I accidentally spat the warm coffee in my mouth.

Kite looks at me with surprise.

"What's wrong?" he says. "Does it taste like shit?"

I shake my head as I place the cup down. He gets up to get some napkin. He helps me wipe off the coffee that got on my sweater. Fortunately, I wore a black one today.

"Wait, let me get you a shirt," he says, heading upstairs, probably to his room.

I wait for him to return and when he did, he was holding a black oversized shirt.

"You could change your shirt in the restroom over there," he says, pointing to a door.

I got up, took the shirt from him, and got inside the restroom. I removed my sweater and stared at my body in the mirror.

I can't believe I almost lost my virginity. I almost lost it to someone I barely know. But, for some reason, I was already so ready. As if I wouldn't regret it soon.

I place his shirt over me and I can't help but smell the faint scent of detergent on it. I got out of the restroom and saw him lying down on the couch. I approached him and sat on the end of the couch.

"So, what's up?" he says, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it. He offers me one but I refused.

"I honestly don't know anymore," I say, sighing.

"Yeah?" he says, sitting up.

I adjusted myself on my seat, leaning my head against the couch.

"How was it when your mom left you?" I say, turning to look at him.

I can't believe the words that managed to escape my mouth. Surely, I'm not me today. He was quite taken aback with the question but he regained his composure right away.

"Uh, it hurt at first but then I got to accept it as time passed by. It was years ago after all," he casually replies with not a single hint of sadness in him.

However, I could clearly see the emptiness behind his eyes. I think I know now why I was ready to give my virginity to him, it was because I know he knows. I know he felt the same grief I'm feeling today.

"I see," I say as we kept silent for quite a while.

We both just stare at each other and soon we leaned in closer to each other. He cups my face as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I don't know why but you're really making me dive into you," he says before placing his lips against mine.

Same, though.

My shirt was already off when Kite suddenly stopped again. He gets off on top of me and lies down beside me on his bed. I turn my body towards him, examining his face. I touch his chiseled cheekbone and traveled my finger towards his jaw.

"Do you have someone else in your mind?" he asks.

I can feel him clench his jaw and I just stare at him as I examine his pretty face.

"No," I say without hesitation as he faces me.

"Are you sure?" he says.

"A hundred percent," I confirm as he kisses me once again.

I pulled away for a while and look at him straight in the eyes.

"Why do you keep on stopping?" I say as he stares at my lips.

His eyes traveled down from my lips to my chest. I self-consciously placed my arms over my breasts as his eyes shoot back to mine.

"I-I'm sorry," he says before sitting up once again.

"Seriously, Kite, what's wrong?" I say, sitting up beside him.

"You're a virgin, aren't you?" he suddenly asks.

I didn't answer right away, instead, I just rub my palm against my forehead.

"Y-yes," I say, hiding my face with my hand.

"I don't think I can mess around with you," he says as I remove my hand away from my face.

"W-why? Because I'm a virgin?" I say, a lot louder than I anticipated.

He looks at me with soft and hurt eyes.

"No, no, that's not it," he says but it was too late.

My anxiety started to kick in as I got out of his bed and grabbed his shirt. I place it over me and headed to the door.

"Wait, Amelia," he says, standing up and chasing after me.

Before I could open the door and exit the room, he places his arm around my shoulders from behind. I can feel his warm breath against the back of my neck as he breathes heavily.

"It's just that, it feels like you belong to someone else," he says in a whisper.

I shudder at how warm his breath was, making the hairs on my back prickle.

"Are you sure you don't have a boyfriend?" he asks once again as I slowly shake my head no.

"I don't think I would ever have one, actually," I admit and that's when he let goes of me.

I turn to face him. His expression was just blank and for a moment, he looked so far away. Just like that, he no longer felt like someone I would give my virginity too. He no longer felt like someone I can deeply relate to.

"I don't think we're supposed to have met," he says as tears suddenly blurred my vision. "I don't know, but there's something that makes me want you but there's also something that makes me stop," he explains.

I raise my chin to keep the tears from falling from my eyes.

"Let's give it a try," I suddenly say, not even knowing the meaning behind my words.

"What are you talking about?" he asks, crossing his arms against his chest.

"Let's give each other a chance."