I hate surprises. From the moment my brother began throwing surprise parties for me when I was six to the last birthday I'd spent with him a year and a half ago, he had planned one every year. It wasn't the party itself I hated; I could manage being the center of attention for a couple hours. It was the anticipation of not knowing what was going to be behind the closed door.

Standing dead center in the hallway, I felt like the miserable eight year old that had run out of her party crying ten years ago. I had no where to turn, no home to run to. I was trapped in the narrow hallway, the three men analyzing me like some kind of science experiment.

"I have the keys." I blurted. "Jesse left the keys before he was deployed. He told me I could move in once I started college in the fall."

Logan's striking blue eyes shook me to the core. He looked as if he weren't just staring at me, but through me.

"I'm so confused." The short man mumbled, shaking his head. "Who the hell are you?"

When I only stared, Logan touched a hand to the bridge of his nose and sighed angrily. "Adam, this is Jesse's little sister Emily. The one he was always talking about."

"Shit." Adam and the black man said in unison.

I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, looking toward Logan as he was the only source of familiarity in this room. "I can just leave. I didn't want to be here anyway. This gives me a great excuse to go."

I started to turn, but Logan caught my wrist roughly, "Don't even think about it. We need to figure this shit out, and I'm not sending you out there at night."

"You don't really have a say in my life, Logan." I retorted with a bitter look. "Especially since you wanted to act like I didn't exist at Jesse's funeral."

"Hate to break it to you, sweetheart. But you were the last thing on anyone's mind at that funeral."

I lifted my hand to slap him, then thought against it and backed away, ripping my wrist from his grip. "I'm leaving."

"Emily!" the short man, Adam, joined us in front of the door, offering a weak smile. "Ignore Logan's arrogant ass. Just sit down and I can try and help you figure this out."

I contemplated going out into the cold night and trying to call up someone to pick me up and sitting down with this seemingly nice guy, and ultimately decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and stay.

"Okay. But I'm not sitting there." I shot a disgusted look at the couch. "So I guess we figure this out standing up."

Logan leaned back against the wall, his left foot kicked back against it. His towel was slowly unraveling, and I feared at any given second it'd fall to the ground again and I'd be greeted by his little friend again.

"So Jesse gave you keys." Adam stated the obvious. "Did he even mention we were living here?"

"No." I answered right away. "Which is unlike Jess."

"She's right. Jesse literally had Em high up on a pedestal and would destroy anyone who fucked with her. The last thing I'd expect him to do is throw her into this apartment with us." Logan piped in, running his long, calloused fingers through his dark hair. "Something's not adding up here."

"He didn't say anything to you guys about me?" I asked, looking toward the tall guy in the hall who I'd yet to learn the name of.

"We knew he had a sister, sure. But he never said anything about you moving in here." He said softly, a slight rasp finding the end of each word. "Sorry."

"Look, I don't even want to be here." I threw my hands up in exasperation. "My parents literally forced me to stay here, saying it'd make me feel closer to Jess, and it'd be better sitting in my giant house back home all alone with nothing and having to drive an hour for school. I'll happily give you these keys and you guys do as you wish with them."

Logan eyed me wearily. "I always hated that about your parents. They run away from shit instead of facing it."

"Shut up." I snarled, shoving him so he stumbled back a little. Anger flickered in his eyes, both of the other men jumped, as if they were worried he'd lash back out, but he only held his hand up in surrender.

"Sorry." He opened his hand toward me. "But if you feel so strongly about leaving, then fucking go, Emily."

"It's better than the alternative of living with three men I don't even know." I retorted coldly.

"You know me." Logan contradicted.

"I don't actually." I turned my back to him. "Bye."

Adam touched my shoulder gently, forcing me back around. "Emily, come on. Jesse wouldn't want you out in the cold."

His words struck a chord, one I'd been doing my best to protect. Of the three men in the room, he was the only one who didn't radiate arrogance and ignorance.

"Stay for tonight. I'll see what we can do about getting you a dorm room or something in the morning." He suggested. It was the first logical thing that'd been spoken since I'd walked in.

"Yeah, okay." I agreed.

Adam looked as if he'd just won the lottery upon hearing my answer. "Great! Jess and Logan used to share the master, so he can sleep on the couch an-"

"Wow, what the fuck?" Logan shook his head. "You don't control shit here, bro."

"She's a girl." The nameless man spoke from the other side of the room. "And Jesse's sister at that. She deserves to stay in his room for the night."

"Then she can stay in it with me. I'm not sleeping on that uncomfortable piece of shit, Collin." Logan spoke as if I wasn't standing a few feet away.

"You're a dick." I said before I could stop myself. "But whatever. I don't care as long as you stay on your side of the room and keep your big ass mouth shut."

The tall guy, Collin, snickered and Adam coughed to cover up a laugh. Logan didn't look at all pleased with my response, or even my presence in general.

"Come on." Adam grabbed my bags from the filthy couch, gesturing with his head for me to follow him down the hall. "I'll show you to the room."

**

I tossed and turned for half the night, as I had been since I'd heard the loud knock at our door that startled me awake three weeks ago. I had found a sanctuary in being awake, hugging my knees against my chest, and sitting on my phone going through the thousands of pictures of Jesse and I in my gallery. It would ease the unbearable pain in my stomach and chest for a little bit, and I'd forget, even if just for a second, that he was never going to hug me again. That he'd never hoist me up on shoulder's in the pool. That he'd never scold me for some stupid, petty thing I'd done at school. He'd never be there to cheer me on as he'd done a few months ago at my graduation.

"I hated him." Logan broke the silence from his bed a few feet away, kicking his royal blue comforter off and sitting up. "I hated that he thought it was okay to up and leave, to go to an entirely different country and just leave us here like we meant absolutely fucking nothing to him. And honestly, I question if we even did."

"Jess loved you." I jumped to my brother's defense. "You were the only person who stuck around and stayed his friend. As much of an asshole as you are, I appreciate you for that."

"We had a lot of falling outs, Emily. Our friendship wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. But man, he was so protective of you. You hated it then, I remember that. Thought he was controlling your life."

"What I'd do to have him here and doing it now." I breathed out.

"I want to understand why he'd tell you to move in." Logan redirected the subject. "But we'll never know why."

"You should stop talking." I tried to be as polite as I could be. The more he talked about my brother, the more it caused hairlines fractures in the giant wall of denial I'd put in my head and around my heart.

He was silent for a long time, but of course just couldn't resist his desire to open his mouth.

"I don't want you here." He stated flatly. I recoiled against the wall at the harsh words. "Because I see him every time I look at you, and I fucking hate it. So please, try to figure out different living arrangements."

Without another word, he pulled his blanket back over himself and turned to the lamp on his left and shut it off. I set my phone on my brother's bed beside me and brought his blanket to my mouth and screamed into it.

Before any actual tears could leave my eyes I grabbed my phone and walked toward the door. Logan sat up a little, watching me with an almost remorseful look in his eyes.

"Fuck you." I slammed the door behind me, debating just grabbing my shit and walking out now. None of these rude ass men would be able to stop me.

"Emily." A quiet voice drowned my thoughts out for a moment. I threw a look over my shoulder to find Adam at the end of the hallway. "Come here. I'll crash on the floor."

I looked toward the door then back at Adam, and sighed.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked softly.

"Of course." He offered a weak smile. "I don't mind at all."

***AN**

Hope you guys enjoyed! 

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Let me know what you thought/think!

~ChasingMadness24