"I hate you! You piece of shit, let me out!"

Adam and I looked toward Logan's room upon hearing the words. It shouldn't have been anything new, Logan had been home a little over two weeks and hadn't stopped attacking Collin, both verbally and physically since. I knew it was the withdraws talking, but I now understood why Collin had suggested I take his room for a while.

Adam and I had hardly seen either man in the last couple weeks. When Collin wasn't at school, he was locked in the room or bathroom with Logan trying to calm him down and talk him through his heightened emotions. Adam had assured me that they'd gone through the same thing a couple years ago with Jesse, and once Logan had finally gotten over the initial anger and jonesing, he'd apologized to the three other men repeatedly.

"Come on." Adam stood, reaching for my hand just as the door was thrown open and Logan shoved passed Collin to the door. Collin's nose was dripping blood, Logan's knuckles covered in it. Adam immediately threw himself over the back of the couch and rushed to the front door before Logan could get to it.

Collin was cursing, trying to stop his nose from bleeding but it continued to gush. I stood, earning a warning look out of both Adam and Collin.

"Don't!" Collin lurched forward and shoved me behind him just as Logan reached for me. I looked between the two men, confused. "He'll use you as leverage to get out and get to the heroine."

The second Logan saw me, the adrenaline that had been ravaging his entire body dissipated, leaving him staring at Collin, covered in blood, in horror.

"I. . . shit, man. I'm sorry." He outstretched his hand, then dropped it to his side.

Collin shook his head. "It's fine. I need you to calm down for a damn minute so I can clean myself up.'

"I'm good." Logan held his hands up in surrender. "Go ahead."

Collin eyed the man before him cautiously before brushing passed him and into the kitchen. Adam, seeing that Logan leaving was no longer a threat, jogged to help his roommate. Logan stared at me for a while, looking as if he wanted to say something but the words wouldn't leave his mouth.

"I'm okay." He assured us. "I'm okay."

*

Adam demanded that Collin let him handle Logan for a few hours, stating he needed a break. Collin showered, but when he walked back into his room, he must have forgotten for a moment I was in there. He walked in shirtless, luckily having wrapped a towel around his waist, but still blinked a few times before everything hit him.

"Sorry." He started toward his closet, but I grabbed his arm, turning him around so he was facing the door he'd just walked through, and ran my hand over the bruises and scratches on his back. Spinning him again, I found more of the same thing across his chest. "I'm good, Em. He's just a hot head. He's trying everything he can to get passed me. That's why I don't want to leave Adam in there too long, he won't be able to hold him back."

"Do you. . . he stopped earlier when he saw me." I stated. "Maybe if I spend the night with him you can get rest and—"

"Absolutely not." Collin snapped before I could finish. "When he starts jonesing he isn't in his right state of mind, Emily. He'd hurt you."

I shook my head, reaching up to grasp Collin's shoulders. "You have done so much the last two weeks, Collin. You need a break."

"You think I'll get a break thinking about him accidently hurting you in that room?" he pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, Em. Drop the thought."

"Give it a chance." I touched a hand to his chest. "Collin, you can barely hold your eyes open. If he tries or accidently does something, I will scream for you."

He started to nod and sat on his bed, thankfully with his legs closed tightly. I sat beside him, squeezing his hand. "You've shown how incredible of a person you are these last couple weeks, helping him the way you have. Thank you, Collin."

"He's my brother." Collin whispered, staring at the bare wall in front of him. "Not by blood, but we've all been through a lot of shit together. And when I found him like that, not knowing. . . I felt as if I'd lost one of my actual siblings. He'll get through it, and all this pain will be worth it."

"Thank you." He finally tore his eyes from the wall and looked down at me, touching a finger to my cheek. "I'm sorry for all of this. I know you feel—"

"He'll be okay." He assured me. "But I don't want you to sit here and worry about hurting me or thinking I'm jealous of the two of you or any of that. I do love you, Emily, but I love Logan just as much, and he needs you. I'd rather watch two of the people I love find happiness in each other then sit and be a jealous prick. I'll eventually move on."

I leaned into him, nudging him with a grateful look. "You're a good person, Collin. Too good for a world like this. I see why Jesse cared for you guys so much."

He stood, holding his towel with a smirk, obviously thinking back to my unfortunate run in with Logan my first night here.

"Jesse did a lot for me. He gave me a second chance and it hurts me every day that I'll never get to show him how thankful I am for it."

*

Adam had been just as hesitant as Collin, leaving the door open a crack in the case I needed to make a quick escape. Logan didn't show any emotion whatsoever. He just laid in his bed, staring at the door as I talked with our roommates with a blank expression. I contemplated stepping into the bathroom to change but came to the conclusion it didn't really matter whether I changed in here or not. Logan had seen me naked before and was facing the door anyway.

"Why are you in here?" Logan's voice was barely audible, but in the silent condo, it almost seemed to echo. "Do they really think this is a good idea?"

"Collin is exhausted, and you beat him up pretty bad." I responded, pulling one of my brother's shirts over my head. "Adam wouldn't stand even the slightest chance in trying to restrain you, and I have hope in my heart that you won't hurt me."

"Hope isn't enough, Em."

I put my clothes in the small hamper beside my brother's bed as I answered him. "But it is, Logan. Hope is the only way we're going to get through this."

He rolled over and stared at me as I started to make the bed. "I'm sorry, Em. For you having to see it all, for being a dick at the hospital, for hurting Collin. I know you care about him—"

"I care about you too, Logan." I said. "And he's the one who won't give up on you. He knows you're going to get through this, that you won't relapse again."

"I don't deserve him." Logan mumbled. "I don't deserve you either. You guys deserve each other. You'd be happier."

"I love Collin." I confessed. "But I am not in love with Collin. He and Adam are like annoying older brother's too me."

A hint of a smile appeared on his lips. "Wow, not even a friendzone, you brozoned him."

"Get some sleep." I started to lower myself on to my brother's bed, but he sat upright.

"Join me."

I hesitated, then decided it probably wasn't a horrible idea for him to have his mind on something else. Grabbing a pillow of my brother's bed, I sat on Logan's bed, glancing over at him once I was settled. He was laying down again, facing me, wearing a look of nothing but guilt.

"I love you." He stretched his arm out across the small space between us and found my hand. "I'm so sorry, Emily. For all of this."

"I'm sorry too." I bowed my head. "I should have never kicked you to the curb. I was selfish. You needed us, you needed me, and I just pushed you to your breaking point."

He laced his fingers through mine. "No, Emily, please don't think it was you. You were only trying to protect yourself from being hurt again. I understand."

"And you were struggling mentally and trying to find a way to cope and I made you feel like you had to choose." I replied. "I'm so sorry, Logan."

He tugged my arm toward him. I moved closer to him, unfortunately having to be cautious of everything he did, despite the fact he didn't appear to have any intention of getting up or trying to get away from me.

"I'll make it up to you guys. All of you." He waited patiently for me to lay down. Once I had, he brushed my messy hair out of my eyes. "For everything you've done, or even tried to do, don't think I'll forget any of it."

I brushed the back of my hand against his cheek. "All we want is for you to fight this, Logan. For this to be the last time you ever have to fight it."

We laid there, within arms reach of one another for a while before he finally answered, eyes glistening with tears, right hand trembling as it grasped my own.

"I will." He said. "I have to."