I watched the relief cross Jules' face within seconds, her hand finding the wall again to keep herself steady. I felt Collin relax beside me, letting out a breath seconds afterward. Mrs. Hernandez started toward the hall, then stopped and waved me after her and her daughters. Collin squeezed my should before giving me an encouraging shove after them. I lingered behind them, not a hundred percent confident I even wanted to see Logan right now. I was more than relieved that he was okay, that he was alive, but I was still reeling in the shock of what I'd woken up too a few hours ago.

Jules was the first one in the small, claustrophobic space. Logan was barely coherent, but she still thought it'd be the best time to start scolding him, eventually falling into a sobbing fit as she clutched him against her chest, likely whispering to him. I stood in front of the door while his sisters and mom hugged and kissed his cheeks. By the time they'd finished with him and started backing away to give me an open path to him, he had sat up a little.

"We're should give them privacy." Yessi whispered, grabbing Jules' arm and followed their mom out of the hospital room.

Logan looked at me for about half a minute, then dropped his gaze to his hands. "Leave."

"What if I hadn't been there, Logan?" I whispered, emotionless. "What if Collin hadn't showed up when he did and stirred me awake?"

"I'd be dead." He said, lacking emotion himself. "Just please get out, Emily."

I fought the urge to smack him. His eyes shot to something, or someone, over my shoulder. I opened my mouth to respond, but Collin spoke up before I could.

"You can't keep doing this, bro. You died." Collin's voice was strained. "You must have a Guardian Angel or something up there watching out for you."

"I know." Logan whispered.

Collin stepped in front of me, then shifted his body so he I could still see Logan. "We're not Jesse, man, but your my brother, I got you. If you want to try to beat this shit, I'll help you."

The hostility that the two had shared was gone the moment the words of comfort left Collin's mouth. Logan looked ready to break down, but looked to me instead.

"I'm sorry, Emily, but please get out." He breathed, voice barely audible. I looked to Collin, hoping he would interject and say something, but he looked extremely supportive of his roommates order. Realizing I was definitely not wanted, I touched Collin's arm gently then nodded and ducked out of the room without looking back.

*

In order for Logan to get better, according to Collin, he needed to go through hell. This being said, he suggested I take his room at the end of the hall for the next couple months.

"His withdraws aren't going to be fun." Collin explained now, sitting beside me on his bed. "He's going to be extraordinarily aggressive and easily triggered."

"He doesn't even want to be around me." I pointed out.

Collin sighed, rubbing his forehead. "It's not that he doesn't want you around, Emily. He just doesn't want you to see him like that. The guilt of you watching his life escape his body is eating him alive. He'll be okay. He'll get through this."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Jesse probably thought the same thing. But look where we are."

"I think it's different this time, Em." Collin defended.

"How so?"

He smiled wearily. "You. You're how. He loves you with everything in him, Emily. Between the guilt he feels about what happened and you, I'm praying it will end this all for good. But we're going to have to go through an extremely aggressive and bitter Logan for a couple months before it starts to get better."

"I wish Jesse was here." I huffed out, resting my head against his arm.

Collin rubbed my back comfortingly and kissed the top of my head. "I know, Emily. I know."

*

Lea decided to pick both the best and worst time to make a surprise visit. The moment she stepped into the condo, she was greeted with depression hanging heavily in every inch of the house. Adam was the first to force a smile and kiss her, keeping his arm draped over her shoulder as she turned her full attention to me.

"What? What happened?" She asked. "Are you okay, Em?"

Adam rubbed her shoulder and broke the silence when neither Collin or I spoke up. "Logan overdosed last night."

Despite the immense hatred my best friend had for Logan, she had just as much love for me to counteract it. She broke out of her boyfriend's grip and crossed the room, hugging me.

"I'm so sorry, Emmy. Is he okay?" She questioned, eyes searching mine.

"He's okay." Collin answered, realizing I wasn't. "They should be discharging him tomorrow. He doesn't wanna go to rehab this time, thinks he can do it on his own with nightly NA meetings."

Lea frowned, eyeing Collin. "Damn. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it's going to be for him. For all of you having to deal with him."

"We've done it before." Adam retorted. "It's just going to be Emily's first time really being around it."

That was the last that was spoken of Logan for the rest of the night. Collin and Adam, having replaced the couch after the new one had been delivered a few hours ago, were more than happy to throw themselves down and dive into a video game. I found myself wandering into Logan's room and toward my brother's bed, falling to my knees to pull the small shoe box from beneath it.

"What's that?" Lea must have followed me, because she was at my side in an instant, staring at the box in curiosity.

"Jesse's stuff. One of his friends from his Squad dropped it off a few days ago." I whispered, fiddling with the top. "There's even a video that's. . . that's like a suicide not in here."

Lea seated herself fully beside me and helped me pull the lid off, smiling at what lay on top. It was a picture from our graduation, the two of us hugging each other with huge smiles. That had been one of the best days of my life, one of the only day's I'd smiled that big in a long time, which is probably why he'd chosen this picture to print and take with him.

"I remember that." Lea laughed quietly, taking the picture gently between her fingers. "We were so happy, dude. Like even Logan being there couldn't dull my sparkle that day."

"Lea, why do you hate him so much?" I asked, watching as her grip tightened on the picture.

She set the picture on Jesse's bed behind us and grabbed the next photo, ignoring my question. It was a picture of Logan and my brother I'd never seen before. Logan's smile was genuine and full and definitely shined in his eyes, but my brother looked downright miserable, despite the forced smile on his face. His green eyes were dark, glaring at whoever was taking the picture. She moved on to the next, this one was all four boys, but three years younger then when I'd met them. My brother looked the same, but Logan, Collin, and Adam were all baby faced.

Logan stood with his arm draped over my brother's shoulder, his face clean shaven and eyes bright, a toothy grin stretched across his face. To his right was Adam, a full head of curly dark brown hair falling just passed his ears. His stormy eyes weren't as bright as Logan's beside him, but the grin he wore was just as big. Collin was at the end, still towering over all three of the other guys beside him, but he still had boyish features that he'd since grown into, making him appear younger than everyone else in the picture.

"It's so weird seeing Adam with hair." Lea commented, smirking. "I'm gonna go ask him about it. You're good, right?"

I nodded, trying at a smile. She leaned back down and hugged me before heading back into the living room to torture my roommate. My fingertips brushed the camera, but I was distracted by a picture that was face down, something scribbled in cursive across the back. I picked it up and had to squint to make out my brother's messy handwriting.

The night I shipped out. How I knew you'd be safe.

I flipped the picture over, confused as I didn't remember taking any pictures that night. I'd been pissed off and crying despite Logan throwing a goodbye party for him.

The picture was back at my parents' house. I'd fallen asleep against Logan's chest, my nose and cheeks were even still flushed from all the crying. Logan looked to be asleep too, look extremely uncomfortable in the position he was in, but probably hadn't wanted to move in fear he'd wake me. His left hand was on top of mine, his right arm draped over me protectively.

I had absolutely no memory of this and I couldn't help but wonder if Logan did. Had he seen this picture? Did he remember comforting me that night?

"What is this?" I asked the picture of my brother and Logan on the nightstand across the room. "Jess, this is kind of creepy."

A chuckle broke through the silence, and for a fraction of a second, I thought it was Jesse. Collin was in the door frame, staring down at me with a sad smile.

"You okay?" He questioned, breaking the barrier of the door between us and joining me on the floor. He looked through the photos, his smile growing. "Wow, I haven't seen this picture in years."

I saw his eyes drift from the photo the camera, but he looked as though he wanted to destroy it rather than turn it on and watch whatever the hell my brother had left for us.

"We'll watch it once Logan's back here." He assured, putting the lid on the box. "But right now, I think you need to come out of this dark room and play with us."

I opened my mouth to tell him I wasn't in the mood, but he went on before I could.

"I don't want to hear it, Emily. Sitting in here in total darkness and dwelling on all the bad shit in your life right now isn't going to do you any good."

Nodding, I followed him out of the room, feeling almost as if a small weight had been lifted from my shoulders having looked inside the box. Lea patted the spot between her and Collin on the couch, thrusting a controller into my hand before I'd even sat down.

"Come on, Em." She said, focused on the flat screen in front of her. "I made a bet and we absolutely cannot lose this match."

**AN***

Sorry for the filler!