"Congratulations, Emily!"

My best friend squealed, yanking me into a bone crushing hug. I was nearly pushed away just as fast as I was grabbed by her ever-growing baby bump. Her first child, a beautiful three year old girl with her dad's stormy gray eyes, but mother's long, silk black hair, was tugging at the bottom of her mother's shirt, staring up at me with a curious look.

"Thank you, Le." I responded, then waved down at the little girl. "Hi, Aliyah."

"Hi, Auntie Em." She smiled a little, then tugged on Lea's sleeve again and pointed across the room, likely the table of treats Collin had been insisted we put in.

Lea smiled sheepishly before hurrying across the room. I had just started to relax when I felt hands grasp my shoulder's from behind. "Great turn out, huh? I told you."

I shot Collin a weary look over my shoulder. "And I told you I don't like being the center of attention."

"Sucks for you." He grinned. "You can bear through it for one night, Em. Celebrate this. You graduated, you're finally free to do whatever the hell you want."

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest as I scanned the room in front of me. He was right, more people had showed up than I thought. I'd told him I only wanted the family here, but Collin had insisted literally every person I know be here, including his family, Logan's family, and all my friends from college. Which made for a very packed gym.

"Where's Logan?" Collin finally asked the question I'd been dodging all night. Lea had asked when she approached, half of my college friends had questioned where he was, even Logan's actual family had wondered. I didn't have an answer. The last time I talked to him had been right after I crossed the stage. Then he'd disappeared and wouldn't answer his phone. Despite being around five years sober, I knew, as I stared into Collin's eyes, the thought that he may have relapsed crossed both of our minds. Collin had finally graduated the academy late last year and was finally a cop, so the fact that Logan wasn't here probably bothering him even more than it usually did.

"Hell if I know." I grumbled, shrugging.

I loved Logan with all my heart, but those days and nights I'd stayed up finishing essay's or projects, or even just sat up completely breaking down because a wave of grief washed over me so unexpectedly I couldn't gather myself, it wasn't him that was there. He was at the gym, whether it was open and he was training clients, or it was closed and he was working on more restoration, I never seemed to be priority. I didn't blame him, if the gym was how he coped and it distracted him from the thoughts that had haunted him since he was in high school, then I'd take him being there any day. But some days, day where I just wanted my fiancé to hold me and reassure me everything was going to be okay, that all those all nighters I pulled would be worth it when I graduated, he wasn't there.

Collin was. Even after ten-hour shifts and online college to try and get a business degree to fall back on in the future, he was at my doorstep any time I called. He had slowly but surely become my best friend. He had been my backbone, my support system, my shoulder. I couldn't picture my life without him.

Logan, though, he wished Collin would just butt the hell out of our lives. He continuously accused him of trying to get with me, as he'd been in love with me years ago, and according to Logan, had never moved on. Sadly, Collin fell victim to the crap too and he always asked why I stayed with Logan when I was never a priority to him.

"I love him." I'd always tell him. "And sure, maybe I'm not the first thing on his list, but he needs me too, Collin."

Now, Collin looked more than a little irritated over my fiance's absence, but didn't speak his thoughts, despite them being written all over his face.

"I'm sorry, Em." Collin whispered, scanning the room. "I know how much tonight means to you."

"It's all good, Officer West." I saluted him with a forced smile. "How about you go get your sister's kids out of the ring before they hurt themselves?"

Collin's eyes shot to the boxing ring and he cursed under his breath, squeezing my shoulder once before darting across the building and throwing himself inside it to step between his nephews.

I walked a few feet ahead of me and sat on the leather sofa, greeting a few people who entered. Once it seemed like the flow of people had finally stopped, I leaned back and shut my eyes, letting out a shaky breath.

"You don't look very happy for someone who should be jumping with joy." A quiet voice stated above me. My eyes widened and I jerked upright, whirling around to face Adam.

"Adam! Oh my God!" I rushed around the couch and hugged him, only to jump back a few minutes later when he gasped in pain.

My eyes fell from his face to his legs and everything I'd eaten this afternoon almost came out. His leg was wrapped in gauze, but even with it wrapped, I could see how much shorter it was. Lea had let me know a few days ago what had happened, but I hadn't expected Adam to be back so quickly.

"I'm fine." Adam reassured me. "I'm alive and that's what matters."

I didn't even want to ask what had happened, my thoughts could come to that conclusion on their own or make up scenarios. I stared at him, feeling my eyes sting with tears at the agony he was trying to conceal in his eyes. He had shipped back out about seven months ago. We hadn't expected him back home for a while.

"I'm fine, Em." He hugged me again. "I promise. Now how about you? You did it! You graduated! I'm so fucking proud of you!"

The words struck a chord in me that I didn't know I needed to hear, and I started crying. Maybe it was because Logan wasn't here, maybe it was because I was overwhelmed with all the attention, or maybe, just maybe, Jesse should have been here. He should be praising me the way Adam is, hugging me and laughing, telling me he knew I could do it. But even standing here, five years after his death, I was breaking down over the fact that he wasn't going to be here for all my major life achievements, my milestones.

"Hey, no." Adam wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Smile. This is a happy day. No crying, Em."

Before I could respond, Aliyah threw herself at her dad from behind and nearly knocked him into me. Lea immediately gasped and pulled her daughter against her, apologizing to Adam. He waved it off and kissed his wife, then picked up his daughter with a look of pure agony. I rubbed his shoulder, then gave Lea a quick side hug before walking out of the lobby area.

I was intercepted by Logan halfway across the building. "Shit, Em, I'm sorry. I lost track of time."

"Where were you?" I whispered, not even bothering to look at him. I kept my eyes trained on Collin pretending to body slam his nephew.

"Had to take the car to the shop, pay the rent, then grabbed your gift. I'm so sorry, baby, I didn't even think to call and let you know I'd be late."

I shook my head, but a voice spoke up behind me before I could respond myself. "That's your problem, man. You don't think. And it ends up hurting her."

"Collin, please." I held my hand up, shaking my head. "Not here, not now."

Logan stared hard at the man behind me, bitterness seeping into his sarcastic comment. "Sorry, Officer West."

Collin said something to his nephew before they went to go join Adam and Lea, leaving Logan to watch after him.

"Maybe, maybe this isn't working." I finally whispered, blinking rapidly to keep tears from escaping my eyes. "I can't marry someone that puts me last, Logan. Literally everything is priority over me."

"Bullshit." He snapped. "Everything I do is for you. All the late nights, the running around, the working two jobs, that's for you, Emily, for us. It's hard now but it'll get better. Our kids won't have to worry about money, about getting the stuff they want."

I lowered my eyes to the concrete under his dirty sneakers. "Okay."

"I promise, Emily. Our kids will have it a hundred times better than we did. Just give me the chance to provide." He paused, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "And I will try to be there for you more. I will try to be like Collin—"

"I don't want you to be like Collin, Logan." I rested my palm flat against his chest. "I want you to be like you."

*

By the time Collin and I finally cleared everyone out, the five of us sat on the leather couches in the lobby area, exhausted. Aliyah had fallen asleep against Collin's chest, one of his arms was draped loosely over the little girl's body to prevent her from falling. I was leaning against Logan, who was running his fingers through my hair, and Adam and Lea were curled up beside us, staring at each other lovingly.

"He would have loved this, you know." Logan broke the silence. Everyone looked toward him, a half smile inching their way on to their faces. "How our lives turned out. How, even though some of us don't get along, we still remained in contact and a family."

"I'm sure," Collin's comment was directed more to me personally than anyone else, "that he's here with us tonight. Probably with a smug ass smirk, happy with the outcome of his little plan."

Adam pointed up at the ceiling with fresh tears pooling in his eyes. "He was there, he had to have been, when I stepped on that bomb. I should have been blown to bits, but he prevented me from being the first one to step foot in there. He's definitely watching us."

I reached out and squeezed Adam's hand at the comment, but when I glanced passed him, I didn't see a bare wall, but my brother leaning against it, one foot kicked back against it, the other on the concrete floor. His green eyes, for the first time, shined with happiness as he stared at the scene before him. And with that look, was a smile that lit up his entire face.

He winked when he caught me looking, saluted me, then faded back into the bare white wall behind him.

"You good, baby?" Logan whispered in my ear. Wiping at my cheeks, I turned back to the rest of my family with a nod.

"Yes." And for the first time in a really long time, I meant it. I also finally understood the analogy that Jesse had always asked me.

"What do you do when life gives you lemons, Em?"

Well, you make lemonade of course.