No matter what he did, Peter's head spun.

He tried opening his eyes, then closed them immediately. He shook his head, sat up straight, or even tried to grab even the thinnest thread of magic. Yet, no matter what he did, he could only feel dizzy. It was like he was floating and spinning in his own mind.

He lost count of the times he stretched his arms, trying to catch the ray of magic that was just within his palms. It was so close, his fingers brushed on the warmth. But just when he thought he grabbed a hold of it, only cold emptiness touched his skin.

Before he could have another thought, he held his breath. Something passed through his body, maybe his mind. Almost like lightning that pierced his thoughts, only that it made him stiffen.

And with a snap, it all disappeared.

Peter opened his eyes and gasped. He sat up, stopping when he felt his blood rush to his head. He let his mind spin for a while before pressing two fingers to his temples and--

"Agh!"

Peter retracted his hands and held them close to his chest. He removed the gloves from his hands and placed them in front of him. There was nothing wrong with his hands, maybe apart from the fact that they look paler than before. Apart from that, they looked perfectly fine. No scar, no bruise, and it didn't feel like he broke his fingers.

Yet something felt... wrong. He reached for his magic again, trying to summon even the smallest of fire to keep him warm.

But as soon as he snapped his fingers, hands burned in pain, almost like lightning zapped his skin. He hissed and placed his hands closer to his chest again.

What happened?

He furrowed his brows and retraced his steps. Adrien woke him up, back in Elderis. Everything was cold, and he must have passed out.

Peter pressed his fingers on his temples. Those seemed sensible, but that didn't explain the weird colors that nearly blinded him. Was that perhaps a dream?

He shook his head and sighed. Maybe he could ask Adrien for an elixir ir--

His eyes widened.

Petra and Adrien...

Peter blinked again and tried to stand up, only for him to immediately sit back down. He could feel his legs, fortunately. He probably just needed to sit and rest.

Rest and maybe take in his surroundings...

He lifted his head and looked around. It looked like he was in a forest, with only a few leaves remaining on them. They were enough to provide shades, but at the same time empty enough to see the night sky. The stars dusted the purple sky, making the snow look like stars slowly falling down.

"Good to see you're doing well."

Peter looked down, only now noticing the fire crackling in front of him. The orange flames burned bright, yet the snow below it was untouched. If it weren't for the fact that he felt tired, he would have tried to see if the flame wasn't dangerous.

Behind the fire, he could barely make out his sister's form. Her cloak covered her body, though her hood remained behind her. Even so, he couldn't see her expression. Petra's hair covered her face, and the shadows from the fire didn't help.

"P- Petr"--he flinched at his own voice--"Petra... where are... where are we...?"

She sighed, fog forming in front of her face. "Somewhere in the middle of Nuryyn. You've been out since yesterday, so I had to stop and rest."

Peter looked around again, his chest tightening as realization dawned on him.

"Petra... where's Adrien?"

His chest tightened even more, but it felt like an arrow pierced him when he heard her answer.

"Adrien's dead."

The zap returned once again, this time on his chest. Peter tightened his hold on his shirt, careful as to make sure his breaths were even. He was already in a bad state, panicking even more was the last thing he needed.

But Adrien... the commander of the Tactics Brigade, one of the smartest people he ever knew...

No, it was impossible. Too impossible. If there was one person Peter was sure that wouldn't die because of the war, it was Adrien. He managed to fight for a hundred and fifty years, he was smart enough to not die.

Adrien couldn't have died. There was no way his life just ended so quickly.

"Don't look so surprised," his sister continued, making his attention snap back to her again. "It's war, soldiers die in war."

"But we're not in war right now, we're- we're on a secret mission and--"

"--and it's still a part of the war."

Petra turned to his direction, making him flinch. For the past years he lived with his sister, he could never get used to her eyes. Dull, almost devoid of life. Not even the flames reflected on its surface.

"Honestly, Peter. Do you really think that this was going to end with all three of us? Someone was bound to die, and I'm sure Adrien knew it as well."

"No, of course not. But you couldn't have at least checked your star map, right? You could have checked if there was a way to save us all!"

She fell silent and turned away. "I think Adrien was right. The stars aren't really that trustworthy."

"But Petra--"

"Rest, Peter." She snapped her head again, making him flinch. "You're going to need all of it. Especially since we're going to continue with the plan tomorrow."

"Are we still going to stick to the old one?"

"Sort of."

Petra stood up and opened her palms. Just like Adrien, a map appeared in front of her, though a pale blue rather than white.

The thought of seeing magic again made his fingers itch. Peter reached forward, trying to summon even a flicker, only for him to flinch back.

"I've managed to get us closer while you were asleep," Petra continued as she swiped her fingers. "We're closer to the Burning Fields now, just three days away." Her eyes flicked to him before turning back to the map. "With your state, at least."

Peter frowned. "What does that even mean?"

"It means we'll get there slower." She swiped the map away and crossed her arms. "Without Adrien, it's going to be... more difficult. But you don't have to worry about that. All you need to worry about is getting rested."

Petra pushed herself off of the tree and walked off. Before Peter could reach out to her, his hand twitched again. He swore that lightning was going to come out of his fingers, but only pain came. With a sigh, he placed his hand in front of him again.

He couldn't use magic, that he could tell. But the question was for how long? And what exactly happened to him that blocked his magic?

With a sigh, he closed his eyes again. He needed to think. If he wanted to know the reason as to why he couldn't use magic, he needed to recall as much as he needed.

Elderis, Adrien woke him up in Elderis. Then, they walked in the snow. Then it was cold. He didn't remember passing out, but he did remember an array of colors.

The weird colors... did someone drug him? That could have been the only explanation. Fortunately, he didn't remember seeing anything... questionable. Only the colors that seemed to have blinded his mind.

It was a while before Petra came back, this time with a hunt. It was even more surprising to see that she came back with a boar, though it made sense since they were in Nuryyn. The animals here could survive even the harshest of winters.

After she finished roasting the boar, the two of them ate in silence. Peter kept flicking his eyes to the left and right, and every noise that made his ears twitch have him hope.

Adrien isn't dead. He nodded as he stuffed the last bit of meat in his mouth. Petra's wrong, she probably just saw something else. Adi isn't dead...

Peter sighed and hung his head. Was there even a point in denying that? If Adrien wasn't dead, then he should be back right now. He was a smart guy, he would know how to find them.

He pressed his knees to his chest and turned to his sister. "How did he die?"

Petra stiffened before resting her back against the tree behind her. "He jumped but fell down from a ravine. He tried to save you, Peter. But it costed him his life."

Peter froze, and he felt chills traveling down his spine. Adrien died... Adrien died because of him. Because he passed out. If that was Petra's way of comforting him, then it didn't work. Instead, he felt his chest twist even more.

His eyes burned, and a cracked sigh left his lips. Adrien died because of him. His friend died because of him...

He took a deep and sharp breath before letting out another sigh. Why did he pass out? Why didn't he do anything to help the two of them? He was a super soldier, a commander of the Potions Brigade. And yet, he dared to succumb to the cold?

His hand reached for his bolo tie. Did he even deserve this?

Even though he didn't look, he knew Petra was staring at him with a brow raised. "What are you doing?"

"Grieving," he replied before looking away. "I don't- I don't think Adrien had a weapon, and you don't have his tie. And there's no way for me to bury him properly. So I'm just... grieving in my own."

"Peter just stop it--"

"Just let me be, Petra!" He reached for his neck and cleared his throat. "Just let me think about him, please! It's my fault he died, so I think I deserve to apologize to him, even if it's just in my head!"

She stared at him and blinked. Then, with another sigh, Petra stood up and dusted her clothes away from snow. "Grieving isn't going to do anything. This is war, people die in wars. You shouldn't be so surprised."

"I'm- I'm not, but..."

Peter sighed and pushed himself away from the tree, allowing him to lie down on the snow. It did f feel as cold as before, if anything it was warm and bearable. If he wasn't talking to his sister yet he would have fallen asleep already.

"I just wish we got a chance to at least say goodbye."

Petra hummed. "What's the point, anyway? The next time you'll be seeing each other, you're going to have to say goodbye to someone else. And chances are, you're going to have to wait for a long time before that happens."

"But--"

"But Adrien wouldn't want you to look like this." Petra turned around and crossed her arms. "He wouldn't want you grieving for him, Peter. In fact, I'm sure he wouldn't blame you. So stop grieving already."

She flicked her eyes downwards. For a split second Peter saw something in them. It wasn't life or light, but it didn't look like sadness, either.

There was something in his sister's eyes. One that, for a brief moment, made her look like an entirely different person.

But whatever it was, it was fine. She blinked and shook her head before turning away.

"We're weapons. And weapons don't weep."

A scoff left him. "Over and over with that dumb thing, huh?"

"What can we do? It's what we live by. Now get some rest. You're going to need it."

Just like before, Petra didn't say a word. This time, he didn't care where she was off to. Peter simply sighed and stared at the skies above him, hoping to see any constellations or remembering a tale about the moons from a different continent. It was almost enough to make him smile. Almost.

They were almost at the end of the mission, and Adrien wasn't with them. Another comrade and friend lost because of this dumb war.

Peter turned from his makeshift bed and closed his eyes. It was all going to end soon, he just needed to wait.