You find yourself drifting off in your best friends arms.

When you wake up the light is filtering through the curtains, strong and bright. Bodies are shifting around the room, waking up and stretching out any kinks. BamBam yawns loudly earning a smack from Jinyoung. JB looks up groggily and you smile at the leaders confusion when he sees he's in a different room. Mark still stays asleep, face down on the sofa. When Youngjae wakes, he sits up and looks around the room. His eyes come to rest of you and Yugyeom and you feel your face flush as he grins widely.

"Guys! Guys! Look at Yugyeom!" Embarrassment heats your face and you try to pull away but find it a futile effort when Yugyeom holds onto you lighter than ever, mumbling into your hair. The others in the room turn to face us and grin wickedly, some laughing. They come over and hit Yugyeom on the back while he gives them the finger and you can't help but laughing. But something's missing.

"Jackson! Come and see this! Yugyeom's finally done something about his crush on his best friend!" Jinyoung calls out and at Jackson's name, you look around the room. 

"Where the hell is he?" JB wonders and as he says this the bathroom door swings open and everyone turns. Jackson wanders out, shaking his wet hair, droplets dripping down his bare chest and onto the joggers he was wearing last night. His eyes find yours and you can't look away. You want to say something but not knowing what. They rest on yours for a heartbeat before moving to Yugyeom's arm, still wrapped around your waist. The weight of his gaze and your friend's arm hits you and suddenly you can't breathe. When you untangle yourself from Yugyeom you look back to see him smiling lazily. At the expression on his face, a grin tugs at your lips but you feel Jackson's eyes boring into your back, and you turn. Immediately you wish you hadn't. The anger on his face is frightening but as soon as it came it's gone and an arrogant smile takes it's place. Without word he walks from the room, the door slamming behind him.

"What's stuck up his ass?" Yugyeom jokes and the others laugh and you can't help the irritation that flies through you. You know exactly what's wrong with Jackson and you want to do something about it. A commotion distracts you and you turn to see Youngjae slapping Mark  awake.

The weight of the bed shifts and Yugyeom sits up. You turn to face him and copy his pose, leaning back against the headboard. You feel defeated. 

"How did you sleep?" Yugyeom asks and you smile at his kindness and nod.

"Good thank you." Apart from nearly having an orgasm thanks to a certain jerk but you don't say this.

"Would you like some breakfast? And then maybe we can go into the city. I haven't been back for years." He suggests, looking so hopeful and you again nod, finding that your words are stuck in your throat.

The other guys move around the room, gathering clothes and move in and out, changing and brushing their teeth. BamBam comes over and pulls Yugyeom from his position.

"Come on dude! Get out of bed with the pretty girl and lets get going." 

You blush for the thousandth time this morning and can't help but feel slightly embarrassed of being caught in bed with Yugyeom. He doesn't appear bothered though, looking back at you and winking. At that you throw a pillow at him and climb off the bed. 

Gathering your things, you look towards the bathroom and see that it's occupied. Jinyoung catches you looking.

"You can use the one in my room if you want."

Thanking him, you follow him out of the door and into the corridor. You both walk in silence and pass a couple of doors when Jinyoung stops and whips out his key card. You laugh at how dramatically he swipes it and opens his door, ushering you in. 

You stop dead.

Lying on one of the two beds is a still topless Jackson. His eyes are closed and he hasn't noticed you come in due to the headphones on his ears. A pang of guilt buzzes through you.

Jinyoung shows you where the bathroom is and you enter, closing the door on Jackson. Would it be such a bad idea to admit your attraction to Jackson? Yes. You couldn't do that to Yugyeom, your best friend who might even be something more. You've never felt so confused.

You changes and wash your face, finding spare washcloth and toothbrush under the sink. Unfortunately you can't wash Jackson's touch from your body and stare into the mirror. Your eyes run over where he touched you, moving lower and lower.

Stop.

In hurry you gather your stuff and exit the bathroom.

There's one person in the room outside and as soon as you enter he looks up at you, his eyes showing an unknown emotion.

You freeze in the doorway.

Jackson rises to stand and moves towards you.

You anticipate his touch.

But it never comes.

Instead he reaches behind you and closes the door. He turns and you reach out and grab on his shoulder. Jackson tenses.

"I'm sorry." You whisper.

It takes a moment for him to reply.

"Don't be." 

You walk around him and face him, looking him dead in the eye.

"You don't get it, Jackson. I've never been so confused in my life but what happened last night-"

He cuts you off. "Nothing happened last night. I don't care who you're with." 

"Don't-" You voice raises and you quiet it down. "Don't hide your feelings from me. Please." You can't stand the ice radiating from Jackson's body.

He walks around you and you feel tears creeping into your eyes. No. You feel so angry. What in the world have you done to warrant his anger?

Nothing.

You've done nothing.

You turn and watch him walk towards the door. Jackson leaves you.

 When he closes the door, a single tear falls and you catch it on the palm of your hand. You stare at it then close your fist, crushing it.

You leave the room, hearing the door lock behind you.

When you arrive back in Yugyeom's room, everyone assembles and heads down to breakfast. If your best friend notices your quietness, he doesn't say anything.

At least your mind has been taken off your wreck of a family. You've got bigger things to worry about other than Jackson's mood swings. You will be stronger.

Your group traipses down the corridor and crowd into the elevator. The same elevator where you nearly kissed Jackson. You move into the corner and your body starts to heat. Jackson has moved beside you. While the others laugh and joke on the journey down, the two of you stand in silence.

The lift shudders to a stop and the doors open. 

You exit to find Yugyeom waiting for you and don't look back at Jackson as you walk to his side. You find comfort in Gyeom's familiar warmth and take it in, suddenly feeling chills down your spine. 

The waitress shows you all you your table and you take you seat next to Yugyeom. All you're doing is going through the motions. There's no feeling. Jackson's rejection has left you feeling numb. Yugyeom doesn't deserve this. 

A buzzing in your pocket distracts you and you take out your phone, feeling eyes on you as you take in the name on the called ID. You lift the phone to your ear.

"Dad?"

"Where the hell are you?" He demands down the phone.

You get up from the table, leaving the others behind and walk out of the restaurant, finding a quiet corner to talk to the man who raised you.

"I'm not coming home. I can't until you and Mum get help. Please." You beg down the handset, hoping he'll understand. The only thing your parents have in common these days is their love for you. Although it's a cheap trick, using this against them, but you don't know what else to do.

"Come home right now." Again your father commands into the phone. Once again, tears spring to your eyes and the walls start to close in.

You hear your dad calling your name as you try to take in air but failing.

"I... can't... breathe..." You rasp and feel your legs give out beneath you. Expecting to hit the ground, you gasp when an arm slides around your waist and takes the phone from your hand. A voice whispers in your ear. "Shhh. It's ok."

You're guided through the hotel lobby and out the doors into the green space. Air fills your lungs  and you take it in greedily, bending over, hands on your thighs. A hand rubs your back and after a few years of standing like that you straighten and turn to your rescuer.