Characters:
-Gerard
-Helena
-Antas (Human version of satan)
-Satan
-Satan's lost souls

*cancer starts with the piano intro, scene one act one*

Gerard: H-HELENA, PLEASE, DON'T DIE ON ME YET, WE HAVE SO MUCH TO DO TOGETHER 
Helena: Gerard, It's okay, you know I'll love you, I always will, but if you're gonna continue crying I'm going to have to
*singing starts*
"Turn away, If you could get me a drink, Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded Call my aunt Marie, Help her gather all my things And bury me In all my favorite colors My sisters and my brothers, still I will not kiss you 'Cause the hardest part of this Is leaving you
 Now turn away 'Cause I'm awful just to see 'Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body All my agony"
Gerard: "Know that I will never marry"
Helena: "Baby I'm just soggy from the chemo But counting down the days to go"
Gerard: "It just ain't living, And I just hope you know, That if you say, Good-bye today"
Helena: "I'd ask you to be true"
Gerard: "'Cause the hardest part of this Is leaving you"
Both: "'Cause the hardest part of this Is leaving you"
Gerard: *crying* Helena, I promise, I will do everything in my power to be with you again someday 

*Timeskip to Helena's Funeral:  scene two act one*

Gerard *giving his eulogy*: One month ago, A beautiful woman, My wife, named Helena, died of cancer, I will never forget the way she-
*get's cut off by a drunk Antas: What the FUCK is going on here, what is this bullshit, a fucking funeral?? look at THIS MAN specifically *points to Gerard* fuckin' looking like those people who are like 

*the end starts playing* 

Antas: *clears throat* "Now come one, come all to this tragic affair

Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not, If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me
So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry
*during this break, Antas walks away and goes back into hell*Another contusion, my funeral jag
Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag
You've got front row seats to the penitence ball
When I grow up I want to be nothing at allI said yeah, yeah
I said yeah, yeah Come on, come on, come on I said "
Helena: "~SAVE ME~ get me the hell out of here ~SAVE ME~"
Antas: "too young to die and my dear"
Helena: "~YOU CAN'T~"
Antas: "If you can hear me just walk away and"
 
*Dead! starts playing* 
Antas shifts back into satan: "YEAHHHHHHHHHHH"
Helena (obviously pissed off at Satan): "and if your heart stops beating, I'll be here wondering, did you get what you deserved? the ending of your life"
*pans over to Gerard* 
Gerard (looking as if he is praying to god): "AND IF YOU GET TO HEAVEN, I'll be here waiting babe, did you get what you deserve" 
Satan (looks like he's laughing while watching gerard pray from hell):" The end, and if your life won't wait, then your HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS *points to Helena* HAVE you heard the news that you're dead, no one ever had much nice to say, and I don't think they liked you anyway *now mocking Helena* OH TAKE me from the hospital bed *stops mocking her* Wouldn't it be grand ain't it exactly what you planned And wouldn't it be great if we were dead"
Helena *facepalming*: "oh, dead"
Satan: "Tongue tied and oh so squeamish You never fell in love Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life *now mocking gerard* And if you get to heaven I'll be here waiting, babe Did you get what you deserve? *stops mocking him* The end and if your life won't wait Then your heart can't take this HAVE you heard the news that you're dead No one ever had much nice to say I think they never liked you anyway Oh take me from the hospital bed Wouldn't it be grand To take a pistol by the hand And wouldn't it be great if we were dead *making fun of a doctor* And in my honest observation During this operation Found a complication In your heart, so long 'Cause now you've got Maybe just two weeks to live *now acting like helena* Is that the most the both of you can give?
*guitar solo* 
*satan's lost souls start to gather around satan and they do a cancan*
One two,
One two three four La la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Well come on
La la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Helena *facepalming*: Oh motherfucker
Satan *with his lost souls still doing the cancan*: If life ain't just a joke (La la la la la)
Then why are we laughing? (La la la la la la)
If life ain't just a joke (La la la la la)
Then why are we laughing? (La la la la la la)
If life ain't just a joke (La la la la la)
Then why are we laughing? (La la la la la la)
If life ain't just a joke (La la la la la)"
Helena: "THEN WHY AM I DEAD"
Whole ensemble: DEAD!

-END OF ACT ONE-