Beware of the Dog

"And just like that, we transformed our backyard into Fort Knox—complete with a 'Beware of Dog' sign. Of course, the only thing Princess guards is the couch cushions and her stash of biscuits. If anyone dared to approach, they'd be greeted with a ferocious bark—one that sounds more like a snack order than an actual threat."

"Hmm. Wait. What are you implying? We have a dog. I have a dog. I do not lie. You know that, and frankly, I resent your insinuation."

"Do you honestly think Princess is a dog anyone needs to 'beware' of? Just the other day, she ran off the balcony because two pigeons looked at her funny. Be honest, does she look like a dog to you? Or maybe a mouse cosplaying as a dog?"

"Those pigeons were not normal, okay? They were enormous, with crazy eyes. Murderous! And for your information, Princess can be scary. You just discriminate against her because she's small."

"Right, scary. The same way cotton balls are terrifying."

"No, no, don't give me that look. What about last month? Princess scared off that big monkey!"

"And immediately jumped into your lap when the monkey noticed her! Let's not forget, Princess was inside the entire time she was supposedly 'scaring' that monkey. But sure, let's give her credit—her tail was wagging like she'd masterminded the whole encounter. Maybe it was her sheer audacity that made her seem dangerous. Or maybe the monkey just didn't care."

"Mock all you want, but Princess has her moments. She's brave when it counts."

"Brave? Darling, Princess is brave when it comes to empty snack packets. Anything bigger than her shadow? Not so much."

"Crazy-eyed pigeons!"

"Right, let's not forget those villains. You know what? Maybe we should rename her—Xena, the Warrior Princess."

"You're impossible. Should I just take down the sign, then?"

"Leave it or keep it, your call. The sign doesn't matter to me. But you have to admit—"

"Save it, Mr. Honesty. I'll change the sign."