27, Letting Go
"Micah." Britta called, shaking him awake. "We're going today, remember?" She asked.
She heard him sigh in defeat, "How could I forget?" He asked, referring to the many times she'd reminded him. She laughed – her lover was not at all a morning person – and she lept up and rushed outside.
Mable was saddling up Fawn, and Thunder was already standing at attention. He was looking warily at Thom's gelding – Thom had made it through the trial and was coming with them as an armed guard. Britta had told Mable she was as good as an army, and Mable had agreed, but Britta hadn't missed Mables frequent glances at Thom throughout their week of preparation and hadn't protested at his joining.
Britta was a lot more excited than everyone else about going back to the abbey. At the same time, she was nervous; it had been over a year, and how would she tell them about Diana? Britta still spoke to her sister every night, but she was still dead, and she didn't know how to put that into words.
Finally, they were ready to go, and began the ride into the woods. Among other things Britta, or rather, Thunder, was carrying, there was a roll of parchment, signed by Mable, with a declaration which ensured the Abbey got better funding and that the money was spent on the orphans living there. There was another which ordered Mistress Core from the Abbey, which Britta hoped to use only as a last resort.
They also carried the news of the Emperor, and after stopping at the abbey, they would travel away from Weatherston and to other places which were too cut off to know everything already. Mable was travelling with them in order to get to know the lands she would one day rule and Britta had insisted she travel with her.
The track, which had been rebuilt over the summer, meant their journey lasted only a week. It was a week which Britta enjoyed; she hadn't before been so relaxed around people who weren't her twin and Mable seemed always to know when she wanted time alone with Micah and Britta did her best to leave Mable and Thom alone at times. Britta spent enough time with all of them to know that Mable was prepared for when she would one day become Empress and that Thom was becoming less cynical of noble life with Mable at his side.
Britta cheered when she saw the weathered wooden sign which read 'Weatherston' in letters which had once been painted with red paint. She brought Thunder around, one hand clutching the reins and the other gesturing for her friends to follow. She rode with an easy grace, dressed in men's clothes and at one with her new identity.
Britta felt her heart begin to pound as they entered the village. It was as she remembered it, houses crammed along narrow streets as much filled with farm animals as people going about their daily business. The stone wall at the edge of the Abbey came into view, none of the burly guards patrolling them. Britta wondered if they had been mountain men and sighed, a little disappointed she couldn't test herself against them. She sighed, no matter, the dedicates trained warriors as well as craftsmen.
"Stay here." She whispered to her friends.
Then, she backed Thunder up and nudged him into a canter. Speeding up, Thunder lept the wall and his hooves clattered up to the door. People stopped, orphans and dedicates alike looking at her in fear and wonder. Britta tossed out her curls, knowing full well she looked like a wild woman atop of Thunder and rather enjoying the attention.
She lept down from Thunder, knowing that people were realizing her femininity as her chest was unbound and her hair was down.
"Greetings." She called, addressing the crowd in the same way she'd seen her father do. "I am Princess Britta of Dereges," she had not yet used her title and it sounded strange to her. "Or, you know, Britta." She said. When her friends began pushing their way to the front, Britta stepped forwards and pulled them into a hug.
"A lot has changed." She said, smiling widely and enjoying her freedom to do so, "I'll explain when I'm done with official business."
Fee was looking around, "Where's Diana?" She asked.
Britta froze, and was wondering how to answer when she heard a familiar voice ring out across the grounds.
"Back to work now, guests arriving from the west by sunset." Mistress Core yelled, clapping her hands.
Britta met her eyes and didn't feel the fear she had felt last time she had seen her.
"Good afternoon Mistress Core." She said, trying to be polite. Behind her back, she clutched the two rolls of parchment tightly.
"Princess." Mistress Core curtsied and led her inside. "To my rooms, I assume."
"That would be adequate." Britta said, matching her formality. Steeling herself, she followed Mistress Core down the hallway and sat in the chair she drew up.
"A lot has happened since I have gone." She begun. "Diana and I travelled to the Empire and gained favour from our father, although I assume you already knew of our heritage." She said, meeting Mistress Cores eyes meaningfully. "I bring news from there; The Emperor has passed away, and Princess Mable has been named as his successor – She will announce that officially later of course, I have other matters to discuss with you." Mistress Core merely nodded, her lips pursed tightly shut. Britta handed her the first parchment, checking the seal which marked it as official.
"Funding for Weatherston Abbey." She said, "to be used on the orphans living there." Britta emphasised the word, glaring a little at Mistress Core.
She nodded, "and I suppose you'd like to know about th Mountain Men which once resided here." Britta nodded and she sighed, suddenly looking tired. "The Strange Man would have taken you to the Mountain Men, to have you executed, not their training camps like he did for so many boys. The only way they would leave the Abbey alone is if we payed them something. It used to be food, or cattle, but then they started taking children. You know who you are. I place some importance on all the lives here but you? I couldn't let your death be on my conscience."
Realisation was dawning in Britta's mind. "What's your first name?" She asked.
"Mary." Said Mistress Core.
"You planned for us to do that?"
"It was not difficult to plan." She said curtly.
"Thank you." Said Britta. "You could have been our mother." She continued before she could stop herself.
"It does not do to get attached." Said Mistress Core, "but perhaps I should learn from you, will you be staying?"
Britta gave her a tentative smile, "I'm an adult now – seventeen – I'm not allowed to stay anyway. I'm travelling to carry the news of the Emperor. I will stay overnight. Britta stood up, "a room for me and my three companions, two in fact. And permission to disturb your workers?"
"If you must." Said Mistress Core. It was strange speaking to her as an equal but Britta could now see she wasn't an entirely unpleasant person to be around. "Rooms fifteen and eighteen."
"I will stop by again on my return journey."
"Good." Mistress Core said, much to Britta's surprise. "I think you'll be impressed at how much this place can improve. Be warned, however, if you stay, you're on dishes duty for blowing a hole in the roof."
Britta laughed, a little nervously, although her laugh became much more genuine at the smile in Mistress Cores eyes. "I won't stay for too long then." Britta said, skipping out of the office, feeling proud.
Now there was a place for everyone.
She called Thunder to her, riding back out to her friends. "Two rooms between us." She said, pulling Thunder to a halt. "Dinners at six," she grinned, "it's fine dining tonight!" She added. "Stables this way," she gestured for them to follow and stabled Thunder. She moved to lead Mables horse in but Thom had already taken the job. Britta smirked at him, "someone's feeling chivalrous."
Thom snorted but didn't disagree. Britta shouldered her bag and made her way to their appointed rooms. She and Mable took one while the men took the other. Though they might sleep in the same tent while travelling Mable reminded Britta firmly that they must act 'proper' when back around people. With her things on her bed, Britta told Mable she would see her at dinner and tracked the familiar path to Mistress Layla's kitchen.
She knocked twice and smiled at her former Mistress's frowning face. "It's good to see you too, Mistress." Said Britta.
Mistress Layla's face brightened and she let Britta inside. "Likewise. I can see you've had your fair share of adventures in the time you've been gone."
There was an excited squeal from behind her and Cece barrelled forwards.
"Britta, you're back." She said, hugging her.
"I'm surprised you could recognise me." Britta said, surprised.
Cece stretched out an auburn curl; straight it reached her waist. "Never seen a man with a head full o' these."
"True," said Britta, wrestling the tie out from her hair and letting it fall loose. "Never thought I'd see you working in th' kitchen." Britta matched Cece's informal way of speaking.
"Where's Diana?" Cece asked.
Mistress Layla must have noticed Britta's stricken face and sent Cece out to fetch water, ignoring her complaints. "Is she...?" Mistress Layla let the sentence hang unfinished in mid-air.
"She gave her life to save the Emperor – you'll hear of it tonight when Mable speaks."
Mistress Layla enveloped her in a warm hug and Britta melted into her comfort. Suddenly the older woman held her at arm's length and looked her over.
"They've really let you grow wild." She said.
Britta nodded vigorously. "Indeed." She said, "I've a lot to tell you."
"Better start now then." Mistress Layla answered, looking at Britta with motherly pride.
Britta told her of her journey into Dereges and their discovery of the training camp. Mistress Layla scoffed at Britta's recount of her and Diana's masquerade.
"How're you ever going to get a good reputation?" She asked.
"Don't need one." Said Britta. "I'm one of the princesses, nobody's ever going to say their thoughts to my face."
Not much could sway Mistress Layla, but at that she turned pale under her coating of flour. After a moment of recovery she frowned and said, "you certainly weren't born with the grace of one."
Britta laughed, "oh I know." She continued her story, blushing when Mistress Layla nudged her knowingly when she mentioned Micah. Britta found herself repeating the same narrative to her friends, enduring the curious ears of others who listened in.
True to her word she met Mable and her friends at dinner, where the dedicates, guests and orphans dined alike. Mables speech was one she'd practiced and she spoke clearly, although for some of the orphans, not used to fine foods, her words fell upon deaf ears.
After Mables speech Britta went outside to find Micah sitting on the wall, staring at the sun which blazed as it sunk behind the mountain. Britta climbed up and perched on the wall beside him.
"You seem very at home here." Micah said, eyes still fixed on the mountains.
Britta jumped; he hadn't given any sign of knowing she was there. "It was my home once." She said.
"But not anymore?" Micah knew better than to take her silence for an answer but continued anyway. "You can always stay, I'm sure they'd accept someone of your skill as a dedicate."
Britta elbowed him gently to get him to face her. "Once." She repeated. "Now I have plans." She held up her hand, "I'm going to finish this journey with Mable in one piece and continue as a guard, or perhaps a warrior," she mused, "I'm not cut out for command but..." She trailed off. "Oh, but then I want to get better at using my control over the Aurea and I'm going to heal people and I'll teach those who want to know to fight," Britta shrugged, "wherever life takes me."
"A good mindset I suppose."
"And what of you?" Britta asked, tilting her head to one side and regarding him curiously.
"Where ever you go." Micah said.
"Don't get clingy." Britta told him.
Micah shrugged, "nah, I think I'll end up as a guard, work my way up. I know how the Mountain Men operate. It may be over for The Night Falcon but there'll always be some trouble." His eyes glinted, "and I don't want to miss it."
They stayed overnight, Britta enjoying her soft bed and finalising her decision. When she finally lay down to sleep in the guest quarters for the first time, she had a hard time shutting her eyes, despite the soft mattress. Diana's face kept drifting into her mind and she hated the idea of giving her sister up entirely. Fawns words still reverberated in her mind and Britta knew what she had to do.
***
Diana? She called, entering the dreamlike reality of the spirit world. Britta knew it was as real as the place her body was sleeping, but in a different way. Diana appeared in front of her in an instant, greeting her with a hug. I'm sorry, Britta said, pulling away, I came to tell you I shouldn't visit anymore.
I know, I'm sorry too. Diana pulled Britta back into her embrace. But now father is here too, I'll be happy, and you're lucky you know that for sure.
Britta grabbed a fistful of her sisters clothing and clutched it tight. Diana was silently crying.
You know I'll see you again.
Not too soon. Diana made her promise. Britta looked over her shoulder and saw Celestial and the Emperor standing in the background. She waved at them, before finally letting go.
***
Al...most...done...
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