June 18th, 2059

  It felt amazing! I felt so strong, like I could do anything! As soon as I reached the foothill our hideout was located on, I began to climb. I told auntie to hang on with baby Abigail. I felt immense strength as I leapt up the foothill. When the hard part was over, I walked up the stairs and entered the hideout before the door was shut. We all looked out and saw the increasing zombie mass coming closer. We still panicked. I knew that we had a good defense, but that didn’t stop me from worrying about the worst.

I guess no matter the situation we humans will always worry. It’s like an itch that never goes away. I just realized how weird that comparison was. My bad!  So what we decided next was that I would fend off the zombies from getting closer. We all thought it strange that the zombies didn’t stop and go away, the moment we escaped from them. They kept on moving towards us like they were being controlled.

It was overwhelming, but I managed to defeat some. But they kept on coming. It was like they’d never end! The moment I broke through them and left them in piles. I was faced with a sight. I couldn’t believe it. I saw the zombie from before. The one zombie that turned me into one. I was left petrified as memories flooded my brain. I wondered how it got here and how it found out about me. I wondered what was so special about me that it came here. Am I better tasting than others?

I wanted to hurl at the thought and I was scared. I didn’t want that or any other reason to be true! I was reliving the fear, anguish and helplessness from when that zombie attacked me.

My brain was buzzing and cries from my group didn’t even snap me out of my trance. It wasn’t until the zombie was right in front of me that I snapped out of it. I looked around and found myself surrounded! I wasn’t even sure I’d survive. I felt stupid and horrendous. I was intent on figuring out how to escape. I doubted any normal means would work and I knew if I tried to escape, I’d get buried by the zombies and attacked. And that’d lead to my unfortunate death…

I looked up into its eyes and my voice wavered as I spoke. My legs were shaking and my hands were sweating. My heart was out of control. I hated the fact that the zombie enjoyed my helpless torment. I asked why he was doing this and why he attacked me back then. It remained silent with those haunting icy eyes. It was frightening  and different than any other zombie I’ve seen.

I had a momentary doubt that he was even a zombie, but then I remembered everything it had done so far and knew it was just that. A zombie. A powerful one at that! Time seemed to stop still and whenever I tried to take a step back, the zombies would close in on me even more!  

I felt dizzy and collapsed right on the ground. I was startled when the zombie finally spoke up. My fear was confirmed by what he said. I was right to think he was after my flesh. I gave in to my urge and threw up on the ground. The smell was retched! He “advised” me and said it’d be best if I just gave up because none of us stood a chance against him. That it’d be better if we became sacrificial food for him and his army.

I tried to counter and say that there are many other people who’d be better food for them and he disagreed. I was left feeling defeated and disappointed.

After all I’d been through with everyone else was this how it was going to end?! The zombie spoke up again and said that although it can’t die like any other zombie,  if I manage to knock his head off his neck, I’d win. I protested and he said that any more whining would result in my instant death. I had no choice but to agree.

I was left feeling nervous. The zombies backed off and stopped surrounding me. It was just me and the head zombie. I had a fleeting thought and wondered who the head zombie was as a human once upon a time and if things had been just a tad bit different, would he be part of our group? There were so many questions swarming my head.

I also wondered how I’d be able to land a scratch on him, much less knock his head off. I didn’t know how yet. I just thought of my family and knew I had to fight and keep fighting, till I find a way, despite the doubt. None of us moved and we stared at each other. I wondered when he’d attack first, because I knew making the first move wouldn’t make a difference or work. He probably already figured me out. For a zombie as intelligent as him that’d be no problem. I panicked again because of that and shook it off because worrying like that would just throw off my balance and concentration. I waited for him to attack.

He was absolutely fast. I couldn’t even react when he appeared behind me and sent me flying with his punch! I tumbled across the harsh ground and was left wheezing. Just that punch alone made me cough blood! I stood up and winced. I knew one of my ribs was broken. This was impossible. How could I do it?! How could I even find a way around this situation?

If I try to run away like a coward my family and I will die!!  Bruises had already formed on my body. It was painful and I felt hopeless. However I kept going. 

 I didn’t even get to land a punch in. It was a one-sided massacre. I kept getting beat up. I was sure my body was nearing its limit and I was going to die! Even now as I’m writing this, the bandages are digging into my wounds with every movement I make. Fuck me! How in the world did I survive that?! Oh that’s right!! I kept on attacking and decreasing the distance between us. I moved faster and faster with each attack.

My attacks were fueled by burning rage at the zombie for turning my life upside down and attacking us like this. But that wasn’t enough. I resorted to using my surroundings. I even camouflaged multiple times. But it didn’t work because he spotted me immediately. I was growing frustrated and really wanted to give up. Everyone’s shouts rang in my head, but I told them to stay, that I’d handle this and win.

 I was no coward! I wanted my family to live. For little Abigail to grow up and be told stories about me. Stories about me being brave despite the odds and despite my natural innate instinct to run. I wanted to behave my age for once. And that’s what I did. Aren’t adults supposed to protect the young ones and each other? And that’s EXACTLY what I did. 

 I made another move and ripped out hardened blocks of soil and hurled them at the zombie. I felt joy when it made contact. But it only made him stumble and there were just scratches. But he didn’t fall. He only stretched and merely straightened his position. He dusted the dirt off him and once the dust fully cleared, he suddenly seemed taller and much more menacing.

There was a sort of intimidating look and aura from the zombie and I wondered how much energy the zombie had as we kept fighting. He wasn’t even as tired as me. I didn’t even notice the approaching night! I was becoming tired with every blow we exchanged. My body was aching!! Fuck!

My eyesight was getting worse and they were twitching. I was struggling so much. My breathing was off. The zombie was definitely a one army man and I couldn’t even compare! I kept going and I managed to keep landing bruises. Throughout the whole ordeal, he looked impressed. I guess him biting me was not for nothing.

If he hadn’t, would I even have survived in an apocalypse like this? Scratch that, it's obvious. I'd have died ...

He teleported again and I turned around and put up a guard. I managed to react fast and put up a block for his punch. But the pain was unbearable and I screamed. My arms tingled and they fell to my sides numb. He held my head and sent kicks to my stomach. I cried in pain over and over. I couldn’t even breathe let alone comprehend what was fully happening. I couldn’t talk either. I grabbed his hand and begged for him to stop.

He obviously didn’t stop and went on. He stopped to say just one sentence. That I should never back out of my promises or any situation I’ve gotten myself into. While he said that I sucked in a painful breath of air, while I could and prepared myself. The look on his face was cold. Like i was some insignificant bug with no name. That made me hate him even more.

I was weak and could only focus my desire to kill him into my burning anger, though that dud nothing. I attempted a guard but my arms ached and dangled. They were close to becoming broken and they were sore and in a lot of electrifying pain. My body was hot and on fire.

  In fact all of my body felt that way. At that moment I felt glad it wasn’t any of my family in my place. Because none would survive. They’re all ordinary in an unfortunate situation like this. The fight kept on dragging on. He dragged me around and repeatedly slammed me onto the ground. He’d pause again to twist my leg and make me cry out. I reached out and croaked for help, but everyone could only watch helplessly. I felt even more helpless!! He was so terrible.

I managed to inflict the damage basketball sized hole together gut of the zombie, but it wasn’t enough and certainly didn’t bring him down. However the damage he did to me did. I was fading in and out of consciousness! He was so strong and that fight with him made me realize how much stronger I’d have to get to face him again. IF, I ran into him again.

 Just when I almost fainted, he stopped. I struggled to look at him with my damaged eyes.The zombie sighed and let go of me then knelt at my level. He spat at me harshly. He glared and told me how pathetically weak I am. I was feeling humiliated but I still nodded, knowing he was right. I could only sob at that moment. He said that he’ll still grant us freedom. That although I failed to take his head off, he’ll let us go.

Whatever reason he let us go, I don’t care. I’m just glad…. I let out a painful breath of relief I didn’t know I was holding. He left me with two messages. That there are many out there like him and I can either become strong enough to defeat them all or escape from this hell. 

 And that he’ll just look for someone else to devour because he apparently felt “pity” for me. Whatever. It doesn’t matter if it’s pity or something else that made him let me go! I’m just glad that that zombie’s going to leave! I turned to look at him again but he was gone along with the zombie horde. Just like that and so quickly too! I heard the cries and shouts of everyone as they ran towards me. I then gave into my consciousness with a pathetic victorious smile on my face.

I’m sitting here aching like hell and I’m still trying to process this. Everyone looked so heartbroken at my state. I didn't want them looking at me like that. I snapped and screamed for them to turn away. They obliged and I was left feeling devastated, empty and weak again.

I would have felt annoyed and useless, but the first thing I felt was relief that they were all ok. Dr Quotez treated me the best he could with the medical supplies. The only thing he said that wouldn’t heal was my left eye. I mean. I’m sad, but I’d prefer that over losing any other part of my body! 

 I guess I’ll have to take it easy and wait for my body to heal. Everyone’s silent tonight. There was no noise except for us eating. They all checked up on me multiple times and I felt loved. It was nice…. 

Mom and dad hugged me. Auntie kissed me on the forehead and I struggled, but eventually gave baby Abigail a gentle hug. Tsubaya held my hand as a sign of support. I was grateful for it and for everyone, but my heart ached at their sorrowful faces. Their eyes were red from crying. Everyone looked tired. Almost like they were zombies.

I made a joke to lighten the mood, but you guessed it, it didn't work. I felt awkward.

  They all told me they’re glad that we’re all alive. I agreed.  I could do nothing to protect myself while fighting the zombies and I almost couldn’t protect them! And I certainly can’t stop their tears now. I don’t think there isn’t a single person in this group that hasn’t suffered at all except for baby abigail. Our suffering only got worse when this zombie apocalypse started! Everyone settled in for the night. Dr Quotez cleaned baby Abigail’s healed stump (belly button) for the last time.   

  Today was quite the day and not for the better! Tsubaya was thoughtful in staying up late with me. I wasn’t lonely as a result. He hugged me tenderly and was mindful of causing my wounds to open. He pecked me on the lips. I was very happy!

I watched with a smile as baby Abigail grunted, while in Dr Quotez’ arms. I took her away from the doctor and thanked him, then rocked her to sleep. She held onto my finger, while asleep.

I slumped against Tsubaya and bid everyone goodnight, then slept off.