okay
gather 'round children
it's time for learning with mother (a mother with little experience but willing to give as much as advice as possible bc i love all my children)
also just fyi
most of this is being based off of me and my relationship so girlxguy
but that don't mean it can't be applied to other types of relationships (i will be using 'him' a lot tho bc my boyfriend is in fact, a 'him')

anyways-

i started datinggggggggg
february 4, 2024
it is now march 22, 2024
so just a little over a month

so
like
first of all
date smo older-
they're more mature-
imma do some exposing of myself here
ahem
i'm 17, and the boys my age/grade/year are super ICKY
my boyfriend is 9 months older than me and is not icky (YAYAYYAYAYAY)
do yourself a favour girl, date smo older <3
or wait until you're past the teen years-

(ALSO GUYS DONT JUDGE ME FOR ANYTHING THIS IS MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RELATIONSHIP. you may not agree but if you come after me for simply disagreeing, you can go ahead and kiss my ass <3. but this is my first relationship-)

anywaysssssssssss
here are some things i've learned:
- if he's tall, make him bend/lean down, the neck pain ain't worth it
(THAT WAS A JOKE GUYS. I LOVE LOOKING UP AT MY BOYFRIEND)
i'm a 5'4" (162 cm) girly, he's a whole foot taller than me as a 6'4" (193) human boy

- he can (if you are comfortable with it) look at your ass and boobs- (laughing break bc i hate that word bc it sounds so child-like... ahem-) NO MATTER HOW FLAT OR FAT THEY ARE. (they are perfect, no matter the size. everything about you is perfect. YES YOU. IM TALKING TO YOU.) just bc he looks at them doesn't mean it's the ONLY thing he desires. i know a masterpiece like you wouldn't let some next-to-nothing piece of shit waste your time. so if he's here, he desires all of you, inside and out. heart and mind. good and bad. ALL OF YOU. the point is, looking at the carefully designed pillows you have doesn't make him bad, he's admiring you and what YOUR OWN MOTHER created (so be kind to you and your mother.)

- sayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy say say say SAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYy "N O" AND DONT FEEL BAD FOR SAYING THAT AND SETTING BOUNDRIES
idk why
but 
i say sorry many times whenever my boyfriend asks smth and i say no
i automatically think that he hates me after i say no, but he doesn't. he asks before doing SO THAT i have the chance to say no BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/WHATEVER THE FUCK SHOULD PUT YOUR COMFORT AND SAFETY BEFORE PLEASURE
you. can. say. no. to. a. kiss. even a hand holding.
this might be tmi BUT whatever
i'm being vulnerable with yall for a reason
anyways
my boyfriend asks to kiss my thighs almost all the time
SO MANY TIMES i say no AND HE RESPECTS THAT. i'm not comfortable with it (especially now since i have scars BUT THAT ISNT THE POINT) i was always insecure abt my thighs cuz they fat as FUCK
anyways
S A Y   N O

- literally- i cannot- WHEN IT COMES TO PAYING (i have a debit so it's a bit easier with card rather than cash) BUT FIGHT HIM WHEN MONEY COMES INTO PLAY
i literally try to pay all the time
he never lets me
but that little effort you put forth actually shows how much you actually like them. you like spending the time with them. you like putting in effort for them. (you might not always end up paying-)
my boyfriend bought me a fucking large stuffed duck bc i thought it was cute (it was expensive-)
he buys drinks and gum and whenever i go with him, i always try paying. though the total is never much I WANNA PAY. LET ME PAY BOY.
try to pay
idk how it works with cash
but debit? easy. PUT IN THAT EFFORT

- little random gifts :)
i buy my boyfriend stuffed animals :)
BUY. FLOWERS. if you buy him flowers, that might probably be the first bouquet of flowers that man ever received in his life. BUY THE FUCKING FLOWERS. red roses if you're feeling bold-
but even just getting him his fav snack or drink is just a sweet, simple gesture that is just HEARTWARMING

- this isn't just restricted to dating, but any kind of relationship (friends, family, a rando)
if this other person is going through smth and they *want to* talk about it with you
ask them if they need you to do smth or if you can do anything
don't always come up with solutions
sometimes ppl just need you to be there and listen
AND TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE THERE. MAKE SURE THEY KNOW YOU ARE THERE FOR THEM.
literally just listen to them and ask what they need. that's it.

- ummmmmm
soooooo
this is more preferanceeeeeeeeeeeeee
and this might be more tmi...
BUT
THE SHOW MUST GO ON
if y'all are ever making out like mattheo would with y/n *wink wink nudge nudge*
play music
hot music
the weeknd or the neighbourhood are good choices
that's what he plays-
istg if y'all play like taylor swift or olivia- 
girl-
no-
that's not make out music-
or sex music for that matter-

- this is just common sense
i wouldn't recommend doing this anyways
but DO. NOT. SEND ANYONE NAUGHTY PICTURES
if you realllllllllllllllllllllllllly want to
MAKE SURE YOU TRUST THEM A BIJILLION PERCENT
i wouldn't even SUGGEST sending them or even taking them.
please please please keep yourself safe
if you truly wanna be exposed like that... just ask a nude painter to paint you- 
jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk
but PLEASE stay safe

- alright... you might wanna sit down...
hickeys. ice cube. cold back of a spoon. massage. WHISK THAT SHIT AWAY WITH A WHISK FOR FIVE MINUTES. if you have none of that close to you... try and cover it with your hair-
i use concealer and my hair to cover it up when i come home to my parents and HEY. IM STILL ALIVE. (they would kill me if they knew-)
OR
YOU KNOW HOW TO 100% BE SURE YOU DONT HAVE ANY HICKEYS THAT CAN BE SEEN? DONT. HAVE. HICKEYS. literally if he starts kissing your neck and you're worried, tell him to stop

- um
so
AHEM AHEM AHEM
prepare yourself my mini croissants
if it's like... reallllllly heated and like this is your first time/relationship
um
you don't... you don't have to... like... release-
you don't have to 💦... (also yall can call me stupid but i didn't know you didn't have to have sex in order to c^m-)
um anyways
now that we all know what i'm talking about
if you don't want to c^m, THEN DONT (i hate this word guys. don't judge.) 
but um
just know
if you dont
it may or may not feel like torture-
and trust me girly, you'll KNOW when you're close
LEG SPASMS and uncontrollable moaning-
also... just so y'all know... and i don't want y'all to think i'm a dirty little whore who is only here for that kind of pleasure IVE NEVER HAD SEX IN MY LIFE. AND IVE NEVER 💦 IN MY LIFE. i've come close, sure, BUT IM TOO SCARED 
no matter how many books i've read, i will never know what to actually expect
BUT BACK TO MY POINT
TELL HIM TO STOP IF YOURE CLOSE BUT YOU DONT WANT TO C^M (but prepare for the torture-)

- literally. call him every single thing. 
hot. cute. pretty. handsome. beautiful. sexy. amazing. great. lovely. etc.
and pet names :)
i'm very picky when it comes to pet names so i'll give you a few categories depending on how much you want to give me the ick

ICK:
- princess (literally go jump out a window)
- baby (it's UNNATURAL. IM SEVENTEEN.)
- babe (it's too effortless)
- queen (huh-?)
- my name. (B-B-B-BORING)

omg i love you:
- *my* love
- *my* darling
- *my* angel
- my girl 
- any cute names y'all gave each other (ex. i call him an idiot goose cuz he's an idiot and he calls me a silly goose bc i'm silly)

- find out his love language. I GUARANTEE this will help you so much.
here are the five love languages (these are mine in order... tee hee)
physical touch (THIS DOESNT MEAN they always want physical touch. i have MANY moments were smth inside my twists whenever smo touches me or tries to hug me. and i LOVE hugs.)
quality time (THIS DOESNT MEAN they always wanna spend time with you. i get energy from being alone but i love being around ppl i love bc it makes me feel loved bc they wanna spend time with me)
words of affirmation (THIS DOESNT MEAN it's the only thing that makes them feel loved. and tho this can be low on ppls scales, doesn't mean it's not important. ALWAYS TELL PPL AFFIRMATIONS. TELL YOURSELF AFFIRMATIONS. LOOK IN THE MIRROR RIGHT NOW AND SAY "goddamn it i look fucking good")
acts of service (THIS DOESNT MEAN that you are their peasant. it just means that if you do smth sweet and simple like peeling an orange, it can mean a lot bc it shows you care)
gift giving (THIS DOESNT MEAN that they are a spoiled brat or that you should give them an endless amount of things. it's just that they feel most loved with gifts or even giving the gifts themselves.)
knowing his love language will give you a lot of understanding
there is a love language test/quiz (https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language)
or you can search "love language test"
DONT take the heywise quiz, do the one from the website "The 5 Love Languages"

- we are back to the weird shit
you will find out some weird ass kinks that you think are only fictional
BUT DONT KINK SHAME THE OTHER PERSON (or me please)
i'm going to be brutally honest with y'all
i need smo to pull my hair-
(also... idk if it's just bc it's ME or if it's bc it's my first ever relationship, but literally- i cannot be dom for too long- i-i-i- i'm sub-)
ANYWAYS
BACK TO KINKS (not like that is any better)
don't kink shame smo for smth that makes them feel good
but you can tell them that you are not comfortable doing that
my boyfriend thinks i have a pain kink bc of hair pulling and... and maybe smth that involves my neck- 
(also i will FOLD if i see smo wearing a suit {man or woman}. and this bitch {love him- oop- wait- hold up- anyways} HE PULLED OUT HIS TIE BC HE KNEW I LIKED PULLING HIM IN LIKE THAT. he's too fictional for me y'all. imma faint. and then he put the tie around my neck to choke me- UM ANYWAYS)
no shaming
only loving

- you will learn A LOT when you're in a relationship
you'll be a different kind of vulnerable with this person because you care differently for them than you care for anyone else
you tell him a lot more than you even tell your parents or friends (he's the first person irl i told bc my ED {@Eeyoremylove was actually the first to know <3})

anyways
that's it for now :)
stay safe my mini croissants :)
MWAH MWAH MWAH
(also ik i said i'd take a break but 1) it's not technically a story i'm writing, i'm ranting. 2) it's 1 am and i can't sleep and i'm not abt to do work.)
ANYWAYS
I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH
TELL ME IF YOU START DATING (unless you don't want to-)
MWAH
KISSES AND CROISSANTS 💋🥐