As a kid, I had everything.
Comfort, check.
Big mansion, check.
Latest cars to dry me to school, check.
Best toys ever, check.
I had it all. Or maybe not really.
Parental attention, please bye.
Parental care, please bye.
Did I like this? Hell no.
Did I have no choice but to be quiet? Hell yeah.

My parents were rarely around, and I hated it. It was so hard sitting among others, who always spoke about their parents. Where they had been, how they spent the week ends together, and did everything fun. My parents were workaholics, never around. It was always one excuse after another.
Sorry Dylan, we have a business meeting here, Sorry Dylan we have a business meeting with a client here. We promise to be there this weekend, all talk and no action.
First things first, these two did not work in the same company, something I found out when I was older, and they were not even marketers. They just wanted to live their lives, without me, as an obstacle. They did not even want me around.
I always begged for their attention, but never got it anyways. They always rushed things when they were pretending to spend time with me.
I had grown used to it, and slowly stopped caring. I became comfortable with the situation.

I'm eighteen years old and just made it into college. Finally I'm going to be in a house on my own, not bothering if I'll come back home to parents or not. That is the only thing on my mind, because I have lived life to the fullest.
Partying, been there, done that.
Clubing, been there, done that.
Slept around, been there, definitely done that.
I have done everything.
I'm present at a shop, trying to get drinks for a party i'm planning tonight. I've got almost half of what I want, but its already morethan enough. I don't care, as long as I drink and get wasted, and probably end up with a girl or two,for bonus.

I'm trying to get a vodka, probably the last bottle of vodka left, since its the only one there, when another hand grabs it. Looks female. I don't care, but who ever it is needs to let go.
I turn around, and a girl, who I think is ugly as fuck, smiles at me. She's not even fine, so I can't be that generous to her.
"Let go" I say.
"Please" she smiles up at me. No fucking way, I want this, there's another one in  the house but that will not be enough.

"Let go" I say again, anger evident in my voice.

"Please I really need this, my dad will kill me if I don't bring a vodka home and this happens to be the last in the area, please I don't have enough money to pay for transportation to another shop" she pleads. I have the means to go anywhere, but I just don't have the time and she is wasting my time.

I yank the drink from her grip and put it in my shopping cart. Just when I take a step ahead, i feel her hand in the basket and the bottle of vodka is gone. She just pushed my last nerve. Not thinking, I turn around and my right hand connects with her left cheek. This makes her right arm to connect with the other side of the shelve, sending bottles of wine to the floor and breaking them, and she also falls down and joins them. I feel like what I just did was completely wrong, but at the same time, people should learn not to provoke others.

"Don't ever do that again" I say. But before I can move, two uniformed men emerge from around the corner. One of them takes hold of my hand, and the other checks on the lady.

"Come with us" the man holding me says. SHIT. The girls right arm and cheek are covered in blood, and she looks to be lifeless. Ohh My God. Please God let it just be that she fainted. I did not mean to go that far.

An ambulance arrives and the lady is taken to the hospital, while i'm loaded into a police truck and being taken to the prison.

On the way, so many thoughts occur in my head, it makes me sick.

What if something had happened to the lady, what if I killed her? I let my anger get the best oof me and I was going to serve the punishment for that. All along, I just pray nothing happens to that girl.

I look at the two men sitting on either sides of me, guarding me. This is not the first time I find myself in such a situation, but it is the first time I feel bad about it. For some reason, I regret doing something like that, which is strange. I never regret, I don't do emotions. 

I think back to when my sixth nanny told me I was self centered and hard hearted. She said I am a cold and mannerless kid who needed to be taught a lesson. I defended myself, I said my parents made me this way, I blame everything I had ever done on my parents because they were not there to bring me up like every good parent does. I was mad at them for abandoning me, for treating me like I was just a shadow.

She told me I was wrong, I can't blame who I have become completely on my parents absenteeism.That my parents were never there when I needed them did not  mean I shouldn't have learned some where else, or had a mind of my own. I had to learn not to be bitter. I knew she was right and I apologized, because she was the only person I could and can do that to. I said no matter how hard I hated my parents, I miss them, and still think we have the chance together. I had so many questions I wanted to ask my mother, to have the mother son relationship, father son relationship, maybe they could tell me how things were in the real world before I became a man, give me talks, help me out with assignments, and even go on vacations together, I want parental love from them, I need it. I also want to know why they have been treating me this way, and how it could be changed. The problem with what I wanted was and still is, that they are never around, and don't even give me a listening ear. They won't listen and because of this, I resort to the one and only thing I am good at. HATE. I can't give love when I'm not receiving it. It's reciprocal.

I know I have never really aired my mind to them, I have never had a heart to heart with them, but there has been no time. I might be mad at my parents, but the little time they spend with me, I value so much, I can't vent to them, scared of ruining the moment. Plus, who knows what will happen if I do that?. I can hurt others because I do not care, but I don't know my parents well enough to decide how they react to things. I know one thing for sure though, my father is aggressive. Noticed that twice when I tried asking him simple normal questions.

As usual, before we get to the station, my parents are already there. It bothers me that they always make it so early to bail me out, but are never there the rest of my life. They are always out, but promptly available for bail outs.

When we settle everything from the prison and I get word the lady is fine now, I am abit relaxed, and make a mental note to go check on her.

On the way back home, I'm sitting at the back of the car while my parents occupy the front sits. Suddenly, I'm no longer relaxed, I'm angry. Before I know it, I feel my eyes wet, and tear drops start falling down. I look out of the window, attempting to stop the tears but its not good. I let go, and let them fall. Suddenly feeling so courageous, don't know whether because of the tears r all the emotions, I decide to speak.

"Why?" is all I succeed to say.

My mum looks at me from the passenger sit, confused, until she realises  that i'm crying.

"What is it honey?" she asks, showing concern. But for the first time, I don't care.

"Why?" I ask again, anger evident in my voice.

"Why what?" my father asks in a pissed off tone.

"You are never there, always one excuse to another, i;m I that much of a mistake that you can't stand me? I know you don't go for any business meetings out of the country because you are not even marketers, you are freelancers and you just have shops, and whenever they call you because I have been arrested, you arrive there before me who was arrested. That much to safe your reputation?" I look at them, realising my dad just keeps driving, while my mum has a sorry look on her face. I ramble on.

"I know you are busy, every parent out there struggling to make ends meet is busy, but what's the point if you don't have a family to share it with?"

"Shot up" my dad says, like he's trying to calm himself.

"We will continue this conversation at home.

When we get home, I hear the most shocking story of my life. My parents tell me how I am not really their child, but the son of my mothers brother. They treated me badly, as a payback for what my father did to them. Apparently, he had made their lives miserable just so that my parents won't get married. When they finally beat all odds and got married, they were happy, they were finally going to live their lives as they wanted. But my father died in an accident one week later, and the news gave my mum a heart attack, resulting in my premature birth, and my mothers dead. Since there was no other relative, they took me in. That was a turn on their plans, they wanted to enjoy life, not take care of a kid. They did not even want kids that early. I was devastated. I did not know what to do, so I just left the house, and went to visit the lady I hit, without even saying a word.

                    *     *     *

Put yourself in any shoes and say how you will feel.

Do you think if he had discussed with his parents things like the hate, and bad character would have been avoided, if the parents had told him earlier things could have been better?.

For me, I will say when we have problems, we fix them, don't just cope with them.I really don't know how they could be fixed, but let me know how these problem in this story could easily be resolved earlier.