Why do I do this to myself. I hurt every single person who cares, only to make up but then hurt them again. But why does she care so much about an ex? She got depressed and left for hours, only to return and say to never make fun of him again. I did not even mean to make fun of him. Why must I be this way. Why. Why. Why must I ruin these people.

I should not even talk with people again. All I do is harm, something M so nicely pointed out to me in my own words. All I do. I am worthless, I have nary a friend anyway. Not a person cares about me, even her now. She frets over his name instead, leaving me alone.

Why can it not end? It would be a boon to most people who know me. I am a burden, a waste of precious time and space. I see no reason not to disappear from this earth this very night, if some outside cause were to happen. I would welcome it.

End my suffering, and the suffering I cause.