Answers part two

wordlass asks: What inspired you to write Spock, and how did you motivate yourself and find the time to continue writing drafts when you finished them?

Well, I described the inception of the whole thing above. As for motivation and time. . . I always feel bad that I don't have a better answer for this question, but I just do it, I guess? Even when I whine about "how behind I am" or that "I'm not writing enough," the idea to stop writing never even gets close to crossing my mind. That being said, I've given up multiple times over the course of this story. I only actually finished one draft, and each draft got shorter than the last (70K to 50K to 20K to 5K). Some of it was poor writing choices and getting bored, but some of it was genuinely realizing I needed time to think this over before I could get back to it. My final abandonment of the last draft wasn't giving up to me, because I felt like (and still feel like) it was the best option at the time.

You know how some writers talk about "the story they have to tell"? Well, I'm only 16. I probably haven't found the story I have to tell yet. But this is one of them. I can just feel it. I need to write this story. I won't give up on it, because I won't, because I won't give up on it. Spock is my story and it's gonna be told.

That's my motivation.

Could you describe some items that would be each character's aesthetic?

Yes? Definitely?? Absolutely??? Here's 6 or more objects per person.

Evan's items/symbols would be a drumsticks, a snare drum, different types of fidget toys (NOT spinners), fingers, scars (deep burn scars specifically), reddish desert landscapes (he lives in New Mexico), and whatever animal he's crossed with. Try a lizard for now. His main color is light reddish-orange.

Gabi: a castle/rook chess piece, a chess board halfway through a game, a mirror, a lone folding chair, a lone food tray on a table, a dark-skinned and freckled nose/cheek, a spiral galaxy, a rocket ship, glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars/planets. Main color is bluish-purple.

Ximena: a newspaper, a saxophone, a clip-on microphone (like what people wear on talk shows), a piano, piles/drawers of manila folder files, a magnifying glass, a conspiracy board, a golden necklace chain. Main colors are gold, black, and white.

Iri: a stretched-out macaw (or glossy ibis) wing, loose bright red/yellow/blue (or maroon) feathers, white fabric, a wheelchair, plants growing under UV lights, a syringe, painted clouds/sky. Main colors are bright white and pinkish red.

Tosigo: dark green scales, fangs, cage bars, a coiled-up snake, snakeskin, a heat lamp, goosebumps on skin, a dribble of blood, an hand of cards with an ace of spades and/or a jack of diamonds hidden in it. Main color is dark green.

Rosario: murky water, jellyfish heads, jellyfish stingers, hands making letters in sign language (especially K or T or R), bubbles, feet dipping toes in water. Main colors are dull pink and grey.

Ryann: a 3D model of an atom, feet/ankles wearing professional loafers and khakis, a snow globe of a modern city, a microscope, a crown stitched onto a white lapel, a bunch of crisscrossed (white) strings, a brain in a jar. Main color is dull white.

Daniel: computer code, cells under a microscope, a white lab coat, lab goggles (preferably on a head with thick blond hair that sticks up), bundles of cords and wires, a stack of crisp money sticking out of an envelope, a laptop keyboard. Main color is bright green (like the color of computer code on a black screen).

Abuela: an Argentinian flag, an ear of corn, yarn and knitting needles, a faded doily cover on a couch, pill bottles, dark-skinned and wrinkled and leathery hands, a graveyard scattered with flowers. Main color is faded blue.

Esteban: wire-rimmed glasses folded on a desk, test tubes, a DNA model, unorganized stacks of paper, a dim streetlamp, a wire-topped chain-link fence. Main color is dark grey.

Raquelita: a pregnant belly, a sink full of dishes, an exercise ball, pale blankets, an umbilical cord, an empty cradle, unfilled tax forms. Main color is pale yellow.

Do you have any other story ideas that could take place in the world of Spock?

I've entertained some. (I've also entertained Spock in different worlds.) But Spock is definitely a stand-alone novel. If I do return to the world, it would feature a different main cast of characters. It might take place in the decades after Spock (in which case adult Gabi would probably be a major-ish character somehow), or it might take place a long time after. Either way, it would be a new story, with minimal (or possibly no) connections to the Spock storyline.

My favorite idea so far that's probably not narratively practical at all involves sending the mutants into space to colonize. Got that idea entirely from the Enderverse, but what can I say: Orson Scott Card made me fall in love with space colonization.

Why was it that Iri changed from being the main character? Also, how was Evan's role back when Iri was the main character?

The story ended up being about Evan. It was a gradual process: at first, Iri was the main character, and then they split the role, and then it was Evan, and then Iri nearly disappeared completely (but my innate desire for a kid with wings willed her back into existence). I don't know how I know it, but I just know Evan is the main character, and the times I've considered switching it to Iri or Gabi or Ximena, it just always ends up back at him. He stole the show the moment I decided he was a mutant (which was multiple chapters into the first draft). Which is weird because he's also the most powerless (except maybe Abuela). Which makes it hard to do good narrative things with him. Remember when I said "Realize you have no plot" earlier? That's giving my incompetence way too much credit. I did have a plot. Just a poor one that involved the main characters reacting instead of acting. In my attempts to fix that. . . not as much has changed as one might think. It's still not perfect – the characters are probably still too passive – but there are certain things I feel are essential to telling this story, and one of them involves the main character to be one of the more powerless of the bunch.

Also, his role back when Iri was the main character was just the main character in disguise.

Does Spock have a connection with that one short story you did where there were like these robots and how there were gold eyes on some of the winged kids' heads? Or is it the same story?

I mean? Yes, it does have a connection? But also no? I mean. . . okay, it's not the same story. I can tell you that.

But it almost was.

So, the whole eye-on-the-forehead thing started out as a completely unrelated idea on an Wattpad roleplaying account that's long since deleted. I only ever wrote seven short chapters of it, but it evolved a lot in my head, and there's this one character I'm just dying to use some day (a fluffy dragon boy named Gavin and if you're thinking of a similar character yes he was inspired by him but he's NOT secretly evil this time because. . . I never got over it). Well, I started considering it as a full-length novel project, and then I started considering merging it with Spock. I basically made a 20s fantasy AU of Spock where Evan was one of these magical kids with an eye-shaped scar on his forehead instead of a scientifically-created mutant. Also he was white and his name was Ethan. I picked it up, I was ready to run with it —

And then I realized there was no Daniel.

And then I realized Daniel wouldn't fit in the 20s, because Daniel is a computer programmer who loves his modern conveniences. And then I realized Evan's story fits better in our contemporary world than the world of the 1920s.

So I scrapped that idea.

No Daniel Left Behind.

Anyway, there is a connection between Spock as a whole and that story, but the current incarnation of Spock has no narrative connection to it at all.

Why did you decide to sink XimEvan? Do you have random moments where you ship them again?

I ship them all the time. I never do not ship XimEvan. There's a portion of my brain dedicated to constantly fangirling over XimEvan. I ship XimEvan so ridiculously hard.

But I only ship the versions of them at the beginning of sophomore year when, for an idyllic time, they're the perfect couple.

I squip (friend-ship) them for life, but their personalities are different enough that the only thing really keeping together is their passion. And once that fades – and it will – what's left?

That's why they won't work out long-term. But that doesn't stop me from shipping them so freaking hard while it does last.

(Amandip from Gravity Rises is actually quite similar to XimEvan. Evan and Dipper share a personality type and Ximena and Amanda share another. It's different-y, but also same-y.)

What are some things that you are afraid of happening that readers may do when it comes to Spock?

People shipping Evan and Tosigo.

I'm utterly terrified.

And some other ships, but that's the main Drarry-type one I can foresee. I'm mainly afraid of readers taking everything at surface-value and making judgements about characters without truly trying to understand them. Like romantically pairing characters with a deep platonic bond, or condemning a character entirely for their evil actions even if they're not an evil person, or romanticizing a character who's done bad things and pretending those bad things are okay.

Spock isn't for short-term pleasure. It's supposed to make you think, and it's supposed to emotionally connect you to this matrix of people whose experiences are so much more than the snap judgements fandoms make. And I'm worried about getting cursed with a fandom that reduces a three-dimensional story to one dimension and doesn't care as long as they get their slash-fic. Every fandom has people that do that, but the concentration of those people varies wildly, from nearly non-existent to completely overwhelming. I can only pray mine is on the more non-existent side of the spectrum.

How old is the story idea? And how has it evolved?

Spock turned three years old over the summer. Which feels like both a very long and a very short amount of time. To put it in perspective, Gravity Rises is going to last about three years total (maybe four if my updating schedule stays at this maddeningly slow pace). Spock has many more years to go before it's even ready to send out to publishers, much less actually get published.

I've already talked about some of the evolution of the story, but I'm not going to go into too much detail. See, there's a reason I unpublished all four drafts of Spock back in 2016. I don't want any of the readers of the next draft to be tainted with knowledge from the former drafts. I am — and that's a good thing. But I want you guys to have a fresh start, to not have any expectations, to experience the story as if it's entirely new. I want to be able to change things without people questioning my changes. I don't want them to know there was a change. I want this to be the way it's always been for you guys. So I'm not going to talk much about the specifics of the old drafts. Even saying that Iri used to be the main character might've been too much. I don't want anyone getting attached to the old versions and feeling like the new versions are lacking something because they're not the old versions.

Does that make sense?

Anyway, I'll say this: my writing ability and style has definitely evolved since starting Spock. (I should hope it has; I don't know if it's possible for your writing to not drastically evolve over three years unless you never write.) The first draft was in first person present tense; the rest have been in third person past. The first drafts had feels for the sake of feels; the current draft. . . okay, well, still probably does, but I've gotten better at writing them well and tastefully and for more of a purpose than just "MUAHAHA I'M GONNA MAKE EM CRYYYYYY". . . not that I don't still think that. . . anyway. I'm still progressing.

But I take courage in the fact that Speaker for the Dead, one of my favorite books ever, has characters crying almost all the time and still feels emotionally authentic and have a plot that moves along smoothly. That's my goal.

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To be continued :)