It's even hard to begin to describe...
You know when you have a big heart...
I'm not sure if this is the right way to put it...

You basically think about others so much... like care about them so much...
Like empathetic, but not really.

You basically wanna make everyone happy and comfortable.
You think about them when you are doing things...
Like when you are in a group of friends, you wanna make sure that everyone is being heard and has a chance to speak their opinions...
Or you wanna make sure everyone gets their fair share of something...
Or if like your friend is sleeping in the other room, you make sure the rest of the house keeps the noise to a minimum so that they are able to sleep well, and try to minimize the amount of times you enter the room.

Yeah, basically doing that, but to the point of even putting their needs ahead of yours...

I mean, I know it's not always right to put others' needs ahead of yours, but sometimes, it's what you need to do to get people to like you...

You have this constant fear, that if you're not overly caring or if you become just a little bit selfish, people wouldn't like you anymore.

Even though you see your friends living life so carefree only caring about themselves, and still having people wanna hang around them, but for you, you need to be more cautious.

You stress yourself over caring about other people even though they won't care about you.

And, I know, people are very different. Just because you care so much about others doesn't mean that everyone else should reciprocate the gesture. But it leaves you feeling as if no one cares...

Because no one will be there to make sure that you are heard in a group conversation, no one will make sure that you have your fair share, no one will make sure that the rest of the house is a little bit more quiet so that you can sleep well, no one will think to not keep entering the room with noise so that you're not woken up.

So you have to always be the one giving yourself to others... but no one will ever give themself to you.

You always have to be the one caring about others... when no one will ever care for you.

You always have to be the one to keep your opinions and words to yourself, when everyone else is free to talk.

Because everyone else is so focused on themselves to notice that someone is being left out...

That someone is giving themself to them...

That someone is slowly killing themself inside.