(^^^ this is how you will feel after you have read this)

i'm like spotify wrapped with more features but less statistically accurate LISTEN everyone has their flaws-

hey kids!

no that's,,,, that's not good

um

hey gays

emos

distressed t e e n s

welcome to le yearly rundown, aka songs of the year but i'm somehow more annoying woo

just to clarify that none of this is relative to what came out this year, but instead to what i discovered this year because fuck everyone else amiright the world revolves around mE

i decided against doing top wattpad books and users in the end because there's too many to choose from and honestlyyyy i need more time to properly think about it so maybe i'll do a lil appreciation post in the new year who knows

shall we start? yes let's hmm okay

(oh also none of this is ranked i have too many feelings for that bullshit)

SHOWS OF THE YEAR;

soooo i got netflix this year and um long story short

it ruined my life

1 | sanders sides

LISTEN

listen listen listen

I KNOW that this t e c h n i c a l l y isn't a real show and i didn't actually discover it this year BUT

B U T 

(butt)

the episodes have become so long and developed and amazing i couldn't not mention it so mhmmmm get fucked

we got more deceit this year! we got remus this year! we got that line from virgil which we all knew anyway but that fact that it is nOW CANON YES THANK YOU

it has been a great year to be a thomas sanders fan kids

honestly though there is basically no point in me explaining why i love sanders sides so much, y'all either already know first hand or from my constant rambling and if you don't ummmm why are you still here

leave

you have youtube to go watch

2 | sherlock

THIS IS WHY I GOT NETFLIX

AND BOI WAS IT WORTH IT

it's indepth, it's funny, it's gay even if they won't admit it, it has very limited props because that is what the bbc does best like seriously i can't tell whether somethings are purposeful connections or if they only have 5 shirts and 10 actors

so yeah. 10/10 would ask for another fuCKING SEASON-

3 | doctor who

again. was not discovered this year but i reallllllly entered the fandom this year

ten is my favourite and you may say oh virgil

how basic bitch of you

but there is a reason he's popular guys and it's because we SHOULD ALL STAN DAVID TENNANT

also donna,,,,, exists and i am grateful for that

i actually have a gay doctor who cross stitch on my wall look at this shit

whoop whoop

4 | years and years

suddenly we have entered unknown territory because none of you know what i'm talking about

for those of you (all of you) who don't know, years and years was a programme ofn the bbc early this year about a family whose lives you follow over a series of decades whilst the world (particularly the uk) goes to complete dog shit

it is 1. devastating 2. anxiety-inducing 3. scary as hell because honestly? it's not that unrealistic or ambiguous welp

i think it's now available on hbo if anyone is interested? only six episodes so a great opportunity to break your own heart in one day

 5 | the umbrella academy

this show is proof that gerard way is too talented and he must be stopped

i can't believe i nearly didn't watch this! my favourite character is klaus because ben is included and they both deserve better

season two might actually be coming pretty sooooon ah i'm so excited, has anyone else seen this? if so, favourite character? favourite moments?? 

6 | a confession

once again i have lost you all oops

b a s i c a l l y this was on channel four at the beginning of september, starred martin freeman and was telling the true story of detective steve fulcher, who tried to hunt down serial killer christopher halliwell and ultimately has his career wrecked for it

not exactly uplifting, made me very angry and emotional but heyyyy i still think it's worth the watch

7 | patrick melrose

urGH

THIS ONE STINGS

AND IT'S ONLY FIVE EPISODES

just.,,, just watch it alright? if you like benedict cumberbatch and traumatic plot lines at all you will enjoy this

(by the way if anyone at this point is thinking umm is he just listing everything he watched this year n o p e i've been selective some fuckers did not make this list rip)

(LIKE RIVERDALE)

8 | the politician

i'm assuming more of you have seen this? i hope so because it is BRILLIANT

i'm currently in the midst of binge watching it and holy shit as much as i am sick to the back teeth of the grandma (sorry nana but shut up) every other character manages to make up for it, i love ben platt with all my heart and cannot wait for series two

9 | rupaul's drag race uk

we all love drag race. and if you don't who are you???? how did you get here do you need help getting home

jk i actually only got into drag race because they decided to do a uk version, don't get me wrong i have nothing against the original but i found this series much easier to get into

argh i miss it so much, cannot wait for the next series i'm just praying the second cast is just as entertaining, if not more so

10 | broadchurch

AH RIGHT

I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY FINISHED THIS YET

BUT I AM VERY CLOSE AND ALREADY HAVE MANY OPINIONS

first off? took me ages to get a glimpse at this because it isn't a n y w h e r e so in the end my parents got me the boxset for christmas lol thanks fam

and secondlyyyyy the first series was definitely the best but i love all of it simply because again david tennant thankfully does exist and i my whole heart belongs to d.i alec hardy

i'm sure i'll have some sort of breakdown when i finish it so look forward to that in the new year i guess

11 | criminal: uk

uh

totally didn't nearly forget to include this

this was amazing; i love how it's set in one room and how it barely provides you with context lol

what i doN'T LOVE IS THE CLIFFHANGER N E T F L I X

EXCUSE ME

it's only three episodes long if you only plan on watching the english version (there's also german, spanish and french, completely different episodes not just remakes in different languages)

so that's it for shows! i think this has really proved that i am terribly at describing things as well as reviewing them oops

BOOKS OF THE YEAR;

that's right

i do actually read shit that isn't on wattpad yayyyyy

1 | am i normal yet? - holly bourne

(i'm not actually sure i read this this year in fact i don't think i did? oh well)

this is a wonderful story about a teenager called evie who has just started college, and suffers with ocd

when i say she has ocd, i mean ACTUAL ocd, not all this #relatable pinterest bullshit. yeah, she is obsessive over cleanliness (stereotypes have to come from somewhere) but she experiences other intrusive thoughts as well, and from what i can tell this was actually a well written portrayal of ocd as opposed to some of the shit you can read

although pleaseeee do keep in mind i don't personally have ocd; it's just that one of my pet peeves is when people take the piss of it, or say they are 'so ocd' because they like to be organised or wash their hands a lot, because i know what it's likely to be or have something that there is so much misconception of.

DAMN SEE THAT FULL STOP? guys that means i am pissed

r u n

anyway *ahem* enough of the lecture lol

this book is soooooo good i highly recommend, especially to anyone who enjoys teen drama novels lmao 

2 | an absolutely remarkable thing - hank green

oi boy

this may be my favourite book? alongside turtles all the way down which is my baby

the best way i can describe this book uhhhhh if you like sci fi? but also puzzles? and um

love stories? maybe i am wrong about that wait

JUST READ IT OKAY IT'S GREAT

THE SEQUEL COMES OUT NEXT YEAR

one of you just please read it i need someone to talk to about it k thanks

(TrulyNothingEnds i'm looking at you)

3 | the lost princess - connie glynn

if youre not familiar with the rosewood chronicles your probably so confused by this title lmao

trust me, it isn't as fluffy, sweet or childish as it sounds, okay? it's brutal, particularly this book in the series aha

but it is also quite fluffy in bits shhhh it is v nice i like it a lot

4 | thirteen - steve cavanagh

holy shit

this book

man

do you like serial killers?

do you like law shit?

do you like deeply disturbing plot lines?

read this booooooook and all the others because it is a part of the eddie flynn series which by tHE WAY MY GIRLFRIEND DOES NOT LIKE she cut up the second book and gave me the pages in an envelope look at this shit

rude

RUDE

asshat

5 | symptoms of being human - jeff garvin

i actually only finished this a few days ago! i had forgotten i had asked for it for christmas

it is a very emotional read but fucking hell do i recommend, especially if youre genderqueer yourself or your trying to better understand the people who are

this may sound completely and utterly cringe worthy but hear me out - i feel like i understand myself better now as well? as you guys know i'm transgender, but i don't strictly express super masculine all the time (is that english? i mean in terms of gender expression as opposed to identity) and i feel more accepting of that part of me now

ew feelings anyway back to the bad writing (but seriously, amazing book)  

ARTISTS OF THE YEAR;

oNTO THE CLASSIC STUFF

S O N G   S T U F F 

i would like to say i did branch out a little bit more music wise this year, however at the end of the day i like what i like and i have pretty clear genres let's not lie to ourselves guys

1 | ben platt

SO UM

BAD HABIT WAS MY SONG OF THE DECADE ACCORDING TO SPOTIFY

which is slightly alarming since he only released his album this year

i adore ben, you all know that soooo uh yeah good big bean plant boi

2 | gerard way

WHAT A MUSICAL LEGEND

solo album? oh yes GREAT

the singles he released this year? incredible

hazy shade of winter? one of my favourite songs of the year, probably at least top five

also he nails aesthetics and that's important (totally mhm)

3 | thomas sanders

yes

4 | my chemical romance

FAVOURITE BAND OF ALL TIME, LOVE THEM, BREATHE THEM, STILL HASN'T SUNK IN THAT THEYRE  ACTUALLY BACK, IF THEY DON'T COME TO THE UK IN 2020 I WILL CRY A LOT

5 | fall out boy

i will love them forever

a l w a y s

:''''''')

6 | twenty one pilots

these guys should actually be at the top because theyre the only ones i only started listening to this year oops lol

i started with trench!! i never looked back!! i love themmmmmmm yellow bois

(you can tell the commentary is really started to drift i should have given myself more time to do this especially considering i cannot write for shit i've been doing this on and off since three and it is currently seven oh g o d)

(edit; it'S BASICALLY HALF NINE HELP)

ALBUMS OF THE YEAR;

1 | human - dodie

in this house we stan dodie particulary monster PARTCULARLY the wonderful daniel j layton s t a r of le music video yes boy

2 | trench - twenty one pilots

the album that got me into top! and this may have been the first album i fully enjoyed in 2019 but tbh i can't remember it's been a long ass year

3 | vessel - twenty one pilots

SUCH A GOOD ALBUM OH MY GOD especially the bonus songs! forest and lovely have special places in my heart

4 | sing to me instead - ben platt

the thing i love most about this album is how it tells a story urghhh also the change in energy between each song, especially better and new? BEAUTIFUL

WELL DONE BEAN PLANT

5 | danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys - my chemical romance

i can't believe it took me so long so listen to this album w o w

bulletproof heart is my favourite by far, it is my ultimate hype song lol

the only hope for me is you? a rhyming bop

also again, albums with plot? this shit is like the young blood chronicles mark two those were the good days ah

6 | conventional weapons - my chemical romance

honestly guys i don't even care anymore

i know this isn't an album

in fact it is actually five-

BUT they basically f o r m an album and they are all wonderful, number three is my favourite because light behind your eyes is very special to me and the world is ugly is umm accurate

but also boy division is chaotic EVIL i love it! and ambulance is just hmmm yes thank you

SURRENDER THE NIGHT TOO aHHH

SONGS OF THE YEAR;

the big boi!

the finale!

the thing that this was meant to be but i have a deep need to drag things out as much as possible even if they cause me stress and no one actually wanted to read this much bullshit written by me!

without further ado, these are my top songs for 2019:

1 | a gay disney prince - thomas sanders

2 | all the angels (live demo) - my chemical romance

3 | all the good girls go to hell - billie eilish

4 | ambulance - my chemical romance

5 | bad habit - ben platt

6 | badly broken - get scared

7 | beauty killer - jeffree star

8 | better - ben platt

9 | better than me - the brobecks

10 | bob dylan - fall out boy

11 | boy division - my chemical romance

12 | boys like you - dodie

13 | brother - gerard way

14 | bulletproof heart - my chemical romance

15 | burned out - dodie

16 | chicago - sufjan stevens

17 | choke - i don't know how but they found me

18 | dancing in the moonlight (2001 remix) - toploader

19 | fairly local - twenty one pilots

20 | fake your death - my chemical romance

21 | forbidden fruit (the duke's theme) - thomas sanders

22 | forest - twenty one pilots

23 | friends of the other side (disney villian mashup) - thomas sanders

24 | glowing eyes - twenty one pilots

25 | guiltless - dodies

26 | guns for hands - twenty one pilots

27 | hazy shade of winter (feat. ray toro) - gerard way

28 | helena - puddles pity party

29 | hold me tight or don't - fall out boy

30 | holding on to you - twenty one pilots

31 | hometown - twenty one pilots

32 | honest man - ben platt

33 | how it's going to be - gerard way

34 | i think we're alone now - tiffany

35 | if i'm being honest - dodie

36 | in case you don't live forever - ben platt

37 | into the unknown - panic! at the disco

38 | lane boy - twenty one pilots

39 | lost in the woods - jonathon groff

40 | love, selfish love - patrick stump

41 | lovely - twenty one pilots

42 | message man - twenty one pilots

43 | migraine - twenty one pilots

44 | monster - dodie

45 | morph - twenty one pilots

46 | my blood - twenty one pilots

47 | new - ben platt

48 | nico and the niners - twenty one pilots

49 | nicotine - panic! at the disco

50 | nothing ever changes - nico collins

51 | ode to sleep - twenty one pilots

52 | rain - ben platt

53 | recipe for me - thomas sanders

54 | river - ben platt

55 | run away - ben platt

56 | s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w - my chemical romance

57 | scenic route - patrick stump

58 | screen - twenty one pilots

59 | sherlocked - david arnold

60 | summertime - my chemical romance

61 | surrender the night - my chemical romance

62 | the kids from yesterday - my chemical romance

63 | the last day of summer - percy jackson and the lightening thief musical

64 | the legend of zelda rap - smosh

65 | the only hope for me is you - my chemical romance

66 | the umbrella academy - jeff russo 

67 | tomorrow's money - my chemical romance

68 | vienna - ben platt

69 | who you really are - david arnold

70 | wilson (expensive mistakes) - fall out boy

71 | window deduction - david arnold

BOOM

...SLIGHTLY LESS THAN LAST YEAR I THINK

and finally, the last and most important segment!

(segment who am i)

APPRECIATIONS;

_i_am_confusion_ you are the greatest best friend i could ask for and i loveeee you x

ElLiAnNa185 as much as i despise your username choice, i am so grateful and lucky to get to call you my girlfriend and look forward to spending lots of time with you in the new year, you adorable nerd x

-Satan_- I LOVE YOU DUDE DON'T EVER CHANGE I HOPE THE KIDS ARE WELL HOW IS COLLEGE WE MUST TALK MORE IN THE NEW YEAR

TrulyNothingEnds you are such an amazing friendo! i love you so much, i wish we talked more but at least when we do talk it is meaningful (the shovel talk, for example lmao) and urghhh you just have such! great! taste! i'll text you more in the new year promise :)))

and last, but not least, Rockytop767 obviously! dude wattpad never gives me notifications for when you message me fuck i feel so bad WE SO NEED TO TALK MORE I LOVE YOU MAN

and that actually is it from me this year! if i missed you don't worry i still love you a l l, thank you for actually giving a shit about me aha it means the world x especially considering how i came out late december of last year, and the support you guys have given me throughout this year has been amazing ahhhhhh i couldn't ask for more

okay enough of the sappy shit *ahem*

I WILL RETURN IN THE NEW YEAR TO PROVIDE YOU WITH ~

> a wattpad appreciation post on new year's day! a spread of l o v e to all my favourite creators on this platform not that they need it from me!

> a random new mcr tag that has emerged on instagram!

> my definitive ranking of the sherlock episodes because i enjoy forcing my opinion onto others!

> and probably more posts no one asked for! i'm (sadly) going to try and post more than just songs of the month next year lol, maybe i'll post biweekly if i can?

if anyone has any suggestions please i am desperate

right right oKAY i am actually going now

JEEZ

i hope you all have a good rest of 2019 and if you're already in 2020, HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES

don't forgot to give the people you love in your life a little direct appreciation once in a while, because uhhhh you never know when people are gonna die

V I R G I L