Hey there guys,

I can't believe it is already the final day of June! It feels as if this year's pride month has passed us by so quickly, but in no way does that mean it hasn't been eventful. Despite some of this year's more dismal developments involving the rights of LGBTQ+ people across the world, many have still managed to come together to celebrate their pride and help validate those feeling particularly struck down. It's been quite encouraging to see so many people I know going to local pride parades, and being loud and proud about their identities, whether that be a quiet coming out or announcing it to the whole goddamn internet.

Speaking of which... Dan and Eugene.

When the notification popped up on my phone with the glorious title of 'Basically I'm Gay' I was about to start the final review for my physics exam which was happening the next day. I had to keep cool because I was surrounded by my family but I cannot stress enough how blood hard it was to concentrate after that.

Basically if I fail physics I'm blaming Dan anyway-

The video in itself made me laugh, cry and feel seen. The same for Eugene's; although presented in a completely different way, both carry the same weighted but urgent message:

The importance of celebrating pride.

There's a very simple way to reduce the suffering kids go through, just like Dan and Eugene did, and that is through spreading positive awareness. How can people be proud of something they don't understand, or that they are constantly shamed for? By displaying or bringing up sexuality as a topic of conversation, or even just by telling people to leave off if they're being homophobic, all sorts of people become slightly less ignorant about the topic of the LGBTQ+ community. It's such a simple method you don't even need to be gay to do it!

It's not that hard.

Of course, that's not the only powerful messages the videos conveyed, and I would highly recommend to anyone to watch them. Even if your not fans of them, or if your straight or whatever! They are worth the viewing time.

Speaking of recommendations, here's some things you definitely shouldn't do based on things I've learned from my own experiences.

If you're confused about a community, or for some reason don't believe that their identity is valid, don't bitch about it publicly. You never know when you're making someone around you extremely uncomfortable, scared and upset, and there are frankly much better ways you can go about resolving the problem. Ask experienced people! Do your own research! Your decision to continue being ignorant and spiteful does not grant you the right to hurt others, so do the right thing and try and understand before you speak as if you are an expert.

Another thing; if someone has the courage to come out to you, don't react by saying that "you don't care" or "that you already knew." I know that from certain viewpoints these words may seem comforting and supportive, but in most cases they're really not. Expressing acceptance is not the same as brushing their confession off and if you did have a hunch it is best not to mention it, at least not straight way, because that can be quite unnerving for the other party. "What does this mean? Is it that obvious? Do I need to change my behaviour if I don't want to out myself?" I have been on both the sending and receiving end of this encounter and neither feel good, so best to avoid.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of this 'advice' (yikes) can be applied to a range of issues, and can hopefully help people feel more comfortable and secure about themselves!

So, is that all that affects our pride? Its awareness? Our comfort? Not even close. There's an endless list of reasons why someone may not want to come out, but one that seems to affect a large majority of people is fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being understood. And fear that they will change their mind, because despite the progress that has been made many people still don't believe that these things are fluid, and that it is normal and valid from them to change over time.

I would say that fear is the main thing that holds me back from being proud of who I am. I barely know who I'm attracted to anymore, and being transgender scares the shit out of me because of the future it holds. It feels so much safer to hide and repress these parts of myself, but at the cost of unhappiness, anxiety and an overall sense of loneliness.

I don't think I've talked about this, but I'm also polyamorous, which I've barely told anyone before due to fear that people will judge me because although I hate it, I do care what people think. So there you go I guess.

One day I'll be able to feel proud of these things, and I hope that anyone in the same boat as me knows that they are not alone, and that these things can take months, years and possibly even decades. It just depends on who you and you're experience.

I could continue ranting on about a lack of representation in the media, oppression, laws... But you're probably getting bored now so I'll wrap this up.

1 | Pride is a key element of the LGBTQ+ community's progression, even if as individuals we still struggle to feel proud of ourselves.

2 | You're never alone (I know it often feels like it) and if any of you ever want to talk to someone my private message box is always open. :)

3 | Fuck straight pride all the way down to hell.

This chapter is probably a mess and honestly I'm quite scared to post it, but I hope at least one person bothered reading it to the end. Whoever you are, enjoy the final day of Pride, and try to lift people up rather than shoot them down in flames.

Sincerely,
Virgil