~CHOP HOT SLAP~

Dennis and Dexter always went to Laurels International private High school in the early hours of the morning.

In a bid to show off and earn his wife the seat of the Chairlady of the P.T.A Committee at the school, their father had paid their schools fees from the nursery school down to the secondary school.

No parent had ever dared that before so she was immediately sworn in as the chairman of PTA committee. His actions had also made sure that his children would receive elementary to secondary school education in his absence.

I didn't go to school.

I stopped going to school in Grade 4 because my parents could no longer afford it. I spent most of my days at home doing chores or running errands and when all that was done, I would play by the roadside while waiting for Uche.

Uche parents were able to afford the fees of a cheap public school in the area. We used to attend the same school till I dropped out so, sometimes I would go over and wait by the gate so we could walk home together. He usually shared his notes with me, teaching me all he learnt in school. To be honest, he would make a fine teacher but considering the number of fails he had in most of his classwork, I was sure he was teaching me nonsense.

But, I loved reading his notes. He had nice handwriting, something I could only dream of.

"Come wey you?"

"Ma?" I answer immediately. I quickly spread the cloth on the line before rushing inside to see her.

"Where that your papa?" She asked.

"He has gone out," I replied.

She hissed loudly. "Useless man," she opened a container of powder and after pouring some on her palm, she applied it on her face. "you don chop?"

"Yes ma, I bought one cabin biscuit."

"Oya nah," she threw on her handbag and ironed out her ankle-length black skirt with her palms, "I dey go work—"

"Can I come with you?" I smiled.

Mother is a cook at a roadside restaurant owned by one of our neighbours. I loved visiting her workplace because her colleague and boss were very friendly. They always served me food whenever I visited and that was something I really wanted right now.

She eyed me from head to toe before saying, "Follow me go work to do Wetin?"

"Nothing. I was just asking if I could come." I mumbled.

She took a deep breath and said, "You don bath?"

"Yes, ma!" I said nodding vehemently.

She chuckled, "Oya nah, may we dey go."

With that said, she grabbed my hand and we started out of the house. She locked the front door and hid the key behind a broom at the back of the house where she knew her 'useless man' would be able to find on his return since I will not be around.

Then we walked down to the main road, we crossed the road together after she had looked both ways five times—trust Nigerian mothers, they had to be very, very sure before they ever did anything. We walked down three different streets before finally arriving at my mother's workplace at a corner of the road.

It was a small cubicle made of wooden planks, worn-out billboard posters and a white lace material served as the entrance door. The place could accommodate only 8 customers. The kitchen was a small space in the back and a small pit enclosed in a wooden structure wide enough for only one human served as a toilet.

The shop was after a wide gutter so we had to walk on a small shaky wooden plank into the restaurant. This was the only part I hated because I always imagined that I would mistakenly slip from it. I squeezed tightly on my mother's hand as we walked the plank, while she, on the other hand, was walking over the plank, like it was a perfectly tarred road with not even an iota of fear.

"I don come oh," mummy said announcing her presence as she walked in through the white lace material.

"Ah! Mama Willie," someone said from inside, "you don come?"

"Eh, I don come oh," mother said as we walked down behind the restaurant to the kitchen.

On arriving there I saw mothers coworker; Mrs Kendara. Mrs Kendara had been my mother's friend for many years long before I was born. They also looked and behaved very much alike, the only difference was unlike mother she was educated, she was also currently pregnant and married to a 'useful man' who worked as a mechanic not too far from here.

"Good morning," she said rising up from the stool where she previously sat pounding crayfish.

"Morning oh," mother smiled, "how body?"

"Body dey inside cloth," she commented sarcastically before they both laughed and hugged. As they hugged, she saw me standing behind my mother.

"Ah! Nma? Nma is that you?" She gasped.

"Yes Aunty. Good morning Aunty." I said while curtsying.

"Jesus! Nma baby. Nma!" She exclaimed as she stretched her arms wode for me, I smiled as I hugged her. I really liked Mrs Kendara, she was like an Aunty to me.

"Wow! Long time oh," she smiled, "Eh hey," she exclaimed while giving me a one over, "you're now a big girl oh. See Nma that used to run around in the house with diaper is now almost my height oh."

Of course, because I was supposed to remain in pampers for eternity and never grow up. I mentally rolled my eyes.

"Haew! It's so good to see you," she smiled warmly, "hug me well jare." She teased before squeezing me in a hug again.

"Oya it don do, no break the girl into two. See how you dey squeeze am upandan in the name of hug," mother hissed before going to hide her handbag in a corner.

"Don't mind your mummy, she's just jealous, you hear?" She whispered loud enough for mummy to hear before turning back to her mortar.

"Oya," mother said dumping broomstick, dirt packer, mop bucket and mop stick in my arm, "To work."

Of course, mummy would never let me lazy about even here. I grabbed all the items and went out to clean up the main restaurant.

"Ah-ah which one you dey sigh upandan this early morning? Wetin happen?"

I heard Mrs Kendara ask as I began sweeping the restaurant.

"Is it not that my useless husband?" Mother replied.

I sighed, I knew how this conversation would go so I didn't even bother listening. I quickly packed up the dirty and disposed of the sand which I swept into the gutter.

"I no know if nah even winch or Wetin wey dey worry that man," she huffed just as I walked in to drop the broom.

"Ma, please excuse me," I said, "Where should I go and fetch water for mopping."

Mrs Kendara pointed behind me and said, "Take that bucket there and fetch water from that Papa John house."

"Okay Aunty," I said grabbing the item as instructed. It was a dirty paint bucket with the lid still on. I quickly rinsed it with the small water in it before heading out.

"My sister, I no just understand Wetin happen to my husband," mother sighed heavily.

Yes, my father wasn't always gambling and wasting away his life like this, no, he wasn't very wealthy but we had enough to sustain our little family. Until he started gambling and suddenly everything we had was gone.

"Good morning," I said to the person in front of me in the queue waiting their turn to fetch water.

I however believe that some day my father would come to his senses and we would somehow return to how we used to be. When we used to pray together in the morning, after that we would go to our separate rooms to shower while mother would go to the kitchen to make breakfast. When we finished dressing up; my father dressed up for work and I for school, we would go down and enjoy our meal then after that my parents would share a kiss before my father and I left the house.

Those days, mother used to be so relaxed, she looked young and beautiful. Nowadays, she was always on the edge, she looked older than she was and she wasn't so pretty anymore. She looked like was fading away.

"You don't want to fetch water again?" A man beside the water tap asked me.

It was then I realized I had forgotten myself. I apologized and joined him at the tap and after filling my bucket, he helped me place it on my head so I could carry it back.

When I arrived I poured out some water into the mop bucket before going behind to drop the bucket in the kitchen.

"He took your money again?" Mrs Kendara gasped. The two women where so occupied in cooking and catching up that they didn't notice my presence so, I went back to the dining area to continue cleaning.

I poured some detergent in the water and mopped the banner they used to cover it clean then, with a rag I collected from inside I dried it. I continued to arranged the chairs and tables in the hall as I was well aware that customers would soon start trooping in.

Soon Madam Rings the owner of this fine establishment arrived. Madam rings was a fair short lady known for wearing long flowing gowns, bedazzled turbans, excess makeup, hoops and heavy black shades.

Oh, I missed one more thing; rings on all her slender fingers.

She was a mature woman and if you looked past her rocky face, you would see she had a heart of gold and was a really nice, loving person.

Madam rings came with the glass showcase containing hot buns, stewed snails, beef and gizzards, roasted chicken, puff-puff, scorched eggs and meat pies. I helped her set it up and she promised to reserve one of everything she brought as a reward for my hardwork.

Oh did I tell you loved madam rings? I didn't? Well, now you heard it! I love you Madam rings!

I thanked her before I joined my mother at the back. When I arrived they had already started packing the cooked food into different coolers. I wanted to join them but mother sent me out to attend to the customers. So for the rest of the day I went around taking orders and serving guests.

"Nma baby," Madam rings said putting an arm on my shoulder.

"Ma?"

"You've worked really hard today," she said handing a foiled bag to me, "go and eat then come back and work."

"Thank you ma," I smiled and bowed before running back to the kitchen.

"Mummy see what Madam rings gave me," I said showing off the items in the foiled bag, my mother taught me to always show her what someone gave me before I even dreamed of eating it, regardless of who the person was.

She waved me off and after washing my hand with some of the water I fetched, I picked a stool and sat down to start eating.

"But wait oh," Aunty Kendara said, "Shebi you talk say you dey hide the money in different places?"

"Yes nah," miter said, "but I no just understand how him dey take dey find am everytime."

I smiled as I dropped the foil bag of goodies to my lap. There were so many goodies that I didn't even know which one to try first.

"Do you think someone told him where you hid it? Maybe someone saw you and told him?"

"Who—"

I felt eyes on me all of a sudden and when I looked up I met my mothers eyes and she wore a confused frown. I turned to Mrs Kendara still not understanding what was going on then just as I was about to turn to my mother, an ear blocking slap threw me off my sit to the floor.

My goodies all fell out of the bag and rolled down into the muddy water on the floor.

"My food," I whined.