THE DAY AFTER that, Cami and I decided to head out for a nice shopping spree. We chose Mong Kok, with multiple malls within easy walking distance.

  My discussion with Orion hadn't ended with any clear conclusion. I think he'd been too shocked to really react, and I hadn't wanted to say much else either. We'd shared a few more words and then gone our separate ways—I wasn't sure where he went, because I went back upstairs immediately and he hadn't.

  I hadn't seen him since. He hadn't texted or attempted to contact me either.

  Not that I wanted to.

  Instead, I now stood outside T.O.P., one of the newer malls in Mong Kok that had opened in the recent years, built specifically and catered for younger people. It didn't sell expensive stuff, focusing on cheaper and smaller brands. Not my favourite place, but I liked checking what they had every once in a while. Sometimes they had something that surprised me.

  Cami was a bit late. Just a couple minutes, but it was enough to make my brows scrunch. If we wanted to have lunch, we might have to go pretty soon to avoid a massive queue. But Camille had also said she wanted to go shopping for a bit first before eating.

  I could probably change her mind, though.

  I hadn't talked to Camille much in the past few days either. Not after that night, that little midnight call. I wasn't quite sure what to say to her, scared that she'd ask if I reached out. Maybe she was worried about the same? About me asking what was going on with Dean if she contacted me too?

  "Salome!"

  A yell of my name snapped me out of my trance. My head snapped up and met Cami's wide grin as she stood opposite me. I scowled, glancing around at some of the bystanders regarding us with one raised brow. "You didn't need to yell."

  She shrugged, pushing me towards the direction of the doorway from the MTR station into the mall. "I wanted to, have a problem with that?"

  "People are staring at us now."

  "Oh, who cares?" She was still grinning. "My god, I am so glad to be out of the house. My parents are starting to get suffocating. Absolutely insufferable, I'm telling you."

  "Mines are better, but it is getting a bit boring," I admitted. That, and I needed to keep putting myself into things to keep my brain off things it shouldn't be thinking or worrying about at all.

  "Not long before we go back," she said with a hum. "How you feeling?"

  "Decent? I'm not that worried. It's not like Upper Fifth or Upper Sixth again with mocks right after Christmas or something."

  "Oh god, I was shitting myself this time last year."

  I snickered. "As you should be. Considering how little you'd properly studied."

  She wrinkled her nose. "Ah, well, I did my best. And I got into Redchester in the end anyways, didn't I?"

  "It's not Oxford or Cambridge."

  "As if any of us got in," she remarked shrewdly.

  "A couple of our old schoolmates did," I pointed out. "Even more among the natives."

  "Because it's easier for them," Cami said with a roll of her eyes. "And we've never been the academically top bunch anyways. Like, we're not bad and we're near the top, but we're not the top, you get what I mean?"

  "I know, I know."

  "Don't tell me it still bothers you."

  "It doesn't." Which was true. Except recently I'd started wondering if maybe I should have tried just a bit harder to get into Oxbridge so that I didn't have to go to Redchester, so this entire fiasco wouldn't have happened in the first place.

  Too late now, though. So there really was no point thinking about it except for the fact that I liked to panic sometimes.

  But then Camille got distracted by some cheap jewellery store and I was dragged off in that direction as she went through the shelves of bling and glimmer. I already had far more than enough jewellery, so I didn't bother looking through them, only sifting through a few pieces that really caught my attention.

  "So," Cami murmured once we'd left the store, nothing having grabbed her fancy, "how's life, other than that? Anything going on?"

  "Are you asking about Orion?"

  "What else?"

  "We talked."

  "About?"

  "Things."

  "You're being annoying."

  I shot her a glare. "I'm allowed some secrets."

  "Is it handled or not?"

  "No."

  "Then you should get it handled soon."

  "Maybe when we're back in the UK."

  She shook her head sagely. "Far too late then. Get it done sooner or later, Salome, or it might just end up being unsalvageable. You don't want it to be unsalvageable, do you?"

  "Of course not."

  "Then get to work."

  "There's not much to say."

  "Of course there's much to say," she huffed. "You haven't even handled the whole thing yet. Don't stop until you have an answer on what the two of you are right now."

  Dryly, I commented, "I don't think there's a single way to describe what the two of us are right now."

  "There's always a word for everything." She twirled one lock of hair around her fingers. "Always."

  "So what's the word for you and Dean?"

  She offered me a cryptic little smile as if she'd seen the question coming, throwing the lock of hair behind her shoulder and sighing. "It is called, my dear Salome, a flirtation. Nothing more than that."

  "That's what me and Orion are, then."

  She shook her head. "Your situation is far more complicated than ours. Calling it a flirtation is just insulting."

  "Then give me a word for it."

  "How am I supposed to know when you haven't even told me what you guys talked about?"

  I rolled my eyes. "Are you sure I'm the annoying one?"

  "Always."

  We were on the first floor now, having left the basement floor of the mall. There were plenty of people since it was a weekend, and T.O.P. was one of those places that was never deprived of people, especially since it was the Christmas holidays now. There were plenty of young groups of friends and couples laughing and moving around, and Camille and I fitted right in.

  "How did you and Dean even start?" I asked, frowning, glancing at her. "I never even realised it until recently."

  "I had a tiny crush on him back when we were in Arrington," she admitted. "But it wasn't anything serious, you know? Just thought he was hot."

  "And that carried on?"

  "No. I literally forgot he even existed until Orion invited him out to dinner with us that night. And then we sort of reconnected—can I even call it reconnect?" She frowned, shaking her head. "We'd never been friends in Arrington. We knew of each other's existence and said hi if we passed each other in the corridors but that's it. We connected. Befriended each other. And then he started flirting with me casually and I flirted back. That's it. That's all that has happened."

  "Have you kissed?"

  She pursed her lips.

  "So you have," I said disapprovingly.

  "Nothing wrong with that?"

  "I suppose not. Does Dean have a good relationship history?"

  "Two girlfriends," she replied almost immediately. "I've already asked. Two girlfriends. Neither lasted long."

  "Because?"

  "He wasn't into having a committed relationship."

  "Is that what you're pursuing with him?"

  "No."

  Then Cami should be fine. And she was usually the one breaking hearts anyways, rather than the other way around. She could handle herself.

  I should really start worrying about myself more rather than Cami. But then she suddenly said, "What are you going to do about Jeremiah?"

  I blinked, glancing at her. "What about Jeremiah?"

  "He's definitely into you, you know."

  "Like you always say, surface level attraction."

  "And sometimes, that's already enough for some boys." She gave me a pointed look. "I'd know. So reject him soon, whenever you go back to the UK or talk to him."

  "I can't reject someone who's never confessed."

  "Then make it very clear to him you're into someone else so he can stop wasting time on you."

  "Why are we all so sure he's into me in the first place?" I frowned. "He's given no real clue of it. A bit of flirtation, but that's basically it. Nothing else."

  Cami shrugged. "Just gives the vibe. He always picks you out, always talks to you before anyone else. He even abandons his friends to join you sometimes, you know? I don't know. I just sense it. Don't always be in denial."

  "I'm not in denial. I'm just saying everyone's assumption might not be completely correct, and thus that may cause embarrassment and awkwardness for both parties in the future."

  "You've really thought deep into this, huh?"

  "What else did you expect?" I shot her a glance. "I'm me."

  She snorted. "At least you're self-aware."

  A little while of more random chit chatting and strolling around, and then we decided to settle down at one of the nice Japanese restaurants near the top of the building. Sitting down, I laid my bag beside me, releasing a sigh. "Seems strange that we'd both be so troubled by love one day, huh?"

  Camille snorted. "It never troubles me, my dearest Salome. Perplexes me, perhaps. Troubles? No. I'd say it's troubling you far more than me."

  "It's been troubling me for quite some time," I remarked. "I like to think I'm very used to it at this point."

  "I don't think that should be a good thing," she mused, propping her chin on her hands, "being used to heartache."

  "It's not a heartache, it's more of a..."

   "A gaping hole in your heart?" She raised one brow knowingly, flicking her long locks onto one shoulder. "Not any better, you know."

  I shot her a glare. "You're putting words in my mouth."

  "Am I?"

  "Yes you are, since I never said that."

  She hummed. "Who else knows? No way you've managed to keep it to yourself and only yourself all these years."

  "I actually... did. Eileen knew. She was really sad about something a while back and came over to mine, it just kind of slipped out of me. You're the second person. Well, other than Orion himself now."

  She wrinkled her nose. "Must have been awkward."

  "It was an extremely, painfully awkward conversation that I never wish to have to repeat again."

  "Worse than the conversation you had when you broke up with Francis?"

  My eyes narrowed. "We do not mention that."

  "You broke the poor boy's heart, Salome."

  "Well, I stopped it before I could shatter his heart, Cami. Better late than never." We both stopped to order, and then we were back to our conversation again. "So, are you moving in soon?"

  "A week after we go back," she said with a shrug. "Livia says she'll get someone to clean and that I can get rid of any furniture I want, but I think I'll keep most of it. Livia is rich, like Jesus Christ. She really does not give a shit about her things."

  "She probably thinks most of the furniture is old anyways."

  Cami grinned. "Not old enough for me. And she has good taste. It'll be fine, whatever. And I'll be right upstairs from you, so I can come over every day."

  "Ah, to leech off my cooking."

  "Of course, what else?"

  We both erupted into laughter, and I leaned back into my chair. No matter what happened, this was also always a constant. Something I knew I could always fall back on. Camille, with her silly little jokes and carefree attitude, her ability to always cheer me up no matter how troubled I felt. Because I was troubled, despite my protests, and she could tell.

  I was stuck at a crossroads now and I had no idea which path to pick. Every single one of them seemed to lead to a dead end, and I didn't want to choose any of them. I just wanted to run away and hide. Or maybe go back in time.

  To when, though? Before I'd ever met him? No, it was such a big part of my life I wasn't sure how I'd managed without it. Before I went to the UK? Would I have chosen another school? But my life at Arrington had been fun. Before I chose Redchester? Before I chose my apartment building? Or before that fateful night, when I could still be around Orion, maybe even be a bit flirty and think absolutely nothing of it, because I knew he didn't think any of it either?

  You never knew what you ought to have treasured until it was gone. I was feeling that now. Vividly.

  "Oh look," Camille let out a snort, holding up her phone. "Dean Hui." But she turned the phone screen back to herself before I could read off it, and I didn't ask to read it either. It was her privacy. Her nose scrunched as she typed something, and then shut her phone, stuffing it back into her bag. "He's a nuisance."

  "A nuisance?"

  "That's what he is," she repeated matter-of-factly. "He's actually quite annoying as a person. He's strangely possessive."

  My eyes narrowed. "Cami, I think he's getting attached."

  Her eyes narrowed with mine. "Well, he shouldn't."

  "Tell him that, not me."

  "He's smart," she said with a shrug, "he'll figure it out."

  "Will he?" I asked, raising a brow. "Dean Hui doesn't seem like the type of person who gets attached easily. If this is a no-strings-attached arrangement, then you should really make it clear before one of you ends up eventually breaking your bloody heart, you know."

  "No hearts will be broken," Cami said with a roll of her eyes. "None! I promise!"

  "It didn't go that well the last time you promised that."

  "When was the last time I'd promised that?"

  "Hilary term in Upper Sixth. Grayson Lamney?"

  "We don't talk about Grayson Lamney."

  "You've got to admit, he was hot. Arguably one of the few guys I wish you hadn't rejected."

  "He wasn't actually into me," Cami said with a roll of her eyes. "We rarely even talked."

  "Someone can not talk to you that much and still be into you, you know."

  She narrowed her eyes. "Point is, I didn't break his heart. He was fine by the end of it."

  "He sulked for a whole month. I was friends with him."

  She sounded exasperated. "It all ended up fine. It's okay. It won't happen again. Trust me. Have some faith."

  "I also can't count how many times you've said that."

  We didn't discuss boys again after that. Maybe it was just a topic both of us wanted to avoid, the problem of our hearts. Feelings and romance were left at the door—this was about me and her, her and me. Two best friends who'd been infallible at each other's side for so long.

  We talked about the kids from Arrington and where they were now, our plans for the next semester and how Cami was going to move into her new apartment.

  Orion Ip and Dean Hui remained forgotten. Unstirred.

  At least temporarily.