as I got the bike moving, I started panicking. what was I going to do? tell him to wait at the bike? but what if my brother yells? drop him off at the coffee shop? but I can't have him waiting on me. the only thing I know is that I can't have him come with me to the door. oh jeez, why today.

as we approached the street my brother lived on I stopped the bike a few houses down. I got off the bike and turned to Thomas with what I hoped was a neutral expression. Thomas confusedly un-mounted the bike and turned to me.

"What's wrong Y/N? you don't look so well. do you need something?" Thomas asked, looking worried. gosh I wasn't good at hiding emotions.

"Yeah uh, my brother is kind of an introvert, he doesn't like a lot of people seeing him. can you wait here a bit, I'll be back after I drop off the groceries." I falsely explained, feeling guilty for lying, but it was necessary. Thomas nodded a bit, looking a little sad.

I felt anxious as I grabbed the bags, and I could see my hands shake as I took steps towards the house. I took another breath as I approached the building I knew my brother occupied. I took a gulp to swallow down my fear. I stepped up to the door and knocked. I heard a crash inside, and the door slammed open suddenly. I staggered back as my brother appeared in the door frame, an empty glass bottle in hand. he threw the bottle at my feet and yelled something slurred. I set down the bags by his porch step as he was still mumbling angrily. he spat my way and stepped closer. I inched away, but he was too fast and grabbed my arm. I flinched away, but looked back just in time to see his hand raised, and then came the blow. he punched me right in the nose, and I could feel the blood pour down my top lip.

"That's for being late brat. You're useless. where's your bike huh? that's pretty useless too if you don't use it. and that job of yours? surprised you haven't got fired yet!" he yelled and swayed, obviously intoxicated.

"want to take your groceries and go inside?" I heard a voice from behind. oh no. no no no no no.

"And who are you?! wow Y/N you really are a fucking gay. ha! what a failure. you know how dad would feel about this? he would have your head. do you still have the marks? *hic* stop dating my bro now, he is just a useless idiot. can't even bring stuff on time." my brother rambled on still.

"Thomas please, don't mind him... he's..." I got a look at Thomas's grave and enraged face and I trialed off.

"come on Y/N, lets get you cleaned up," he offered, taking my hand as I felt the tears forming, "you will not have Y/N bring you anything anymore." he then turned and started walking with me in tow. another bottle flew barely past my head and I squeaked and backed into Thomas as we kept heading to my bike, behind us an ambiance of curses and obscenity was shouted.

we made it to my bike, and I hopped on followed by Thomas. I reeved the engine and sped out of there. I was frantic as I feel a panic attack setting in. I drove to the park because it was nearest safe place and stopped the bike. I got off the vehicle slowly, feeling the tell tale vertigo. I felt myself fall in to the grass, and my heart was racing.  my vision blurred, and the noises of the world were muffled. I felt my skin crawling and voices scratching at my scull, curling up into a ball I felt tears down my face, and my whole body was shaking and shivering. I felt like I was going insane, this was one of my worst panic attacks in years.

(Thomas P.O.V.)

Y/N got off the bike and collapsed.

"y/n? are you okay?!" I got off the bike and ran to him, lifting him up into my arms as he curled up. he was crying and shaking. I knew these were panic attack symptoms.

"shhhh shhh, y/n breathe. in four seconds, out four seconds." I remembered the advise I got on how to help people going through this. when I saw y/n start to breathe more normally I hugged him tighter.

"it's okay, the attack is gonna be over soon. shhh. its okay I'm here. I won't leave, you are okay he is gone."

"Thomas I'm sorry I-I'm so, so s-sorry." y/n sobbed.

"no it's fine hon, you're fine, I'm fine. we are all fine, I am here for you." I hugged him even tighter and smoothed down his hair.

"hey y/n, how long have you worked at the coffee shop?"

"umm, a-about a year." he managed to mumble.

"what's your favorite color?"

"f/c"

"what model is your motorcycle?" he was visibly calming, and his breathes evened.

"Bonneville T100. I got it on a sale."

"good, good. okay." I wiped the tears from his face.

"I'm sorry. I should have just told you about my brother. he is a jerk. I didn't want you to think I was..." 

"no. no it's okay. I understand, I would have done the same. lets get you home yeah? we can stay there and have lunch. and hang out." I really didn't want to leave y/n in this state. he was too venerable.

"you really don't have to do that, I'll be fine..."

"I really want to hang out more, and you need a friend right now." I got up and helped y/n up.

"o-okay. yeah. lets get back then."

(Y/N P.O.V.)

as Thomas helped me up I still felt a little dizzy. I felt my legs were weak and almost fell. he caught me.

"are you okay to drive?" Thomas asked, sounding concerned.

"yeah I'm fine, just a bit dizzy." I explained, getting up again and stepping away, my face red. I was not in the right mindset at the moment. I walked over to my bike with better balance then before and Thomas followed right behind, I could tell he was ready to catch me if I fell. I felt mad at myself for it. how dare I have an attack right in front of him?! he must have been so scared! I took him to my brother's too. what an idiot. idiot!! I had such promise we could be friends! we could have got close!

I got on the bike and started it. Thomas crawled on and held on to me. I steered forward and began my trek back to the house.

we got back and I got off the motor cycle once again.

"Hey Thomas you can head inside, I'll park my bike and be in in a moment," I invited, pointing towards the door. he nodded and headed inside while I wheeled the machine into the garage. ugh. I am so terrible. how embarrassing, he is probably just staying to pity me.

I head back in the house, trying to hide my mood. I wasn't going let him see through me like this, he didn't need to know just how bad I felt. I didn't need him to see that right now.

I walked back in to the house and took off my coat and hung it up. I stepped into the living room, only to see my couch was covered in a nest of pillows and blankets, and Thomas was searching around on Netflix for a good movie. I almost teared up at the sight. actually I did.

"oh hey y/n!" Thomas exclaimed, turning around with a smile. oh god that smile is going to kill me. "are you crying?" Thomas asked, worried.

"I'm fine. you're just really nice, is all." I half lied.

"awww, get over here." Thomas made a space in the blankets beside him. I sat down and he scooted further in so he was right next to me. I felt my face flush, but the human contact helped to calm me.

"what movie do you want to watch? we can see if they have it on amazon," he asked, looking me in the face to gage my reaction. I sniffed and thought for a moment.

"(favorite movie), I like that one." I said quietly. he nodded and brought his hands up to my face and wiped the tears away. he was so nice. I made a split decision. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him tightly, burring my face into his chest.

"thank you Thomas." I said, feeling more tears soaking his shirt. I would have to get him a new one when he left. oh no, he would have to leave. I felt his arms wrap around me too and I held tighter. this was nice.

(it's ya boi, back at it again with the late fucking updates. so uhhh sad chapter. next one may be fluff *shrugs*. anyways, do you guys think I should add in the Sander's sides? they would be fun to write but I want you guys' opinion! going to be updating more I hope, but as you know I am writing like five books plus books else where. tschuss!)