2:11am

Murderererrerrrerererererer

Au
—

Prince 👑: we have a problem!
Prince 👑: guys!
Prince 👑: peasants!
Prince 👑: nerd!
Prince 👑: emo!
Prince 👑: dad!
Prince 👑: oh look at my lack of capitals
Prince 👑: I'm becoming Virgil and I don't know how I feel about it
Prince 👑: unsettled
Prince 👑: bothered
Prince 👑: upset
Prince 👑: I think I should sue

Logan: Roman.

Prince 👑: nerd!

Logan: It's three in the fucking morning.

Prince 👑: I am aware

Logan: So what do you want?!

Dad 🐶: language Kiddo! But seriously what's up Roman?? It's late! You should be asleep! You know what Lolo said about the heart ache and stuff!

Logan: Why do I even try.

Prince 👑: well I was asleep! You know I need my beauty sleep!
Prince 👑: And something woked me up!

emoshit: so that big brain of yours decided to wake us up too?

Logan: 'Something woked me up'. Roman I was in your English major class for two years.

Prince 👑: it's three am nerd! And Disney don't remind me

emoshit: if you dont tell us why tf you woke us up

Dad 🐶: What does 'tf' mean Virge?

emoshit: the frick

Prince 👑: Ah yes! Like I was saying
Prince 👑: I was asleep minding my own business while dreaming of being amazing
Prince 👑: And I was woken by a sound!

Logan: You might not have your life the next time I see you.

Prince 👑: and I quickly realised it was the house phone!

emoshit: why do i suddenly want to get popcorn

Prince 👑: so in a tired, flustered state I walked down the stairs hoping they'd hang up but they didn't!
Prince 👑: expecting it to be a caller I was surprised when it wasn't

emoshit: this isnt a youtube video stop dragging this story out

Prince 👑: I answered the phone and of course said 'hello'

Logan: Fascinating.

Prince 👑: and the person on the other send said 'I can see you'

Dad 🐶: WHAT.?!?!?

Logan: Are you serious?

emoshit: well this took a 180

Logan: Roman are you completely serious? Are your doors locked?

Prince 👑: oh don't worry! He's in my radar!

Dad 🐶: HES WHAT

Prince 👑: I can see him! Outside my street
Prince 👑: in front of my house
Prince 👑: I waved at him
Prince 👑: he waved back
Prince 👑: I think he's the one

emoshit: ffs roman this is serious! he might want to kill you!

Logan: What did you do after he said that?

Prince 👑: I paused
Prince 👑: So did he
Prince 👑: we both paused for awhile
Prince 👑: then I said 'do I look good?'
Prince 👑: And he had to hang up because he was laughing so hard
Prince 👑: and I was 'ruining the ambiance' whatever that means

Logan: Two years, Roman. Two years.

emoshit: that doesnt matter right now!
emoshit: roman might die!
emoshit: omg roman might die
emoshit: wheres my party clothes we need to organise a celebration ill bring the alcohol

Prince 👑: Excuse me! I better be invited

Dad 🐶: kIDDO?!? Are you oKAY?!? WHAT IS HE DOING!? ARE YOU BEINF STABBED YET?!?!?

Prince 👑: why would the love of my life stab me

Logan: I feel like you are seriously insane.

emoshit: is he still standing there?

Prince 👑: Yeah
Prince 👑: I'll invite him in

emoshit: youll what now

Logan: Are you fucking kidding me?

Dad 🐶: kIDDO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Prince 👑: I called out to him
Prince 👑: 'hello young man!' I said
Prince 👑: 'would you like to come in and chat?'
Prince 👑: 'let me see you for you have already seen my glory!'

emoshit: is this some sort of fever dream or-

Dad 🐶: mY FAVOURITE KIDDO IS GONNA DIE

emoshit: excuse me

Logan: Roman get back inside, lock every door and window and for the love of science do not invite him inside your home! Call the police right now!

Prince 👑: and then he said

emoshit: oh ffs

Prince 👑: 'do you understand what's going on?'

Logan: Cleary you do not, how does he not see that?

Prince 👑: And I said 'yes, of course I do!'

emoshit: if you say anything other than you want to murder me I stg princey

Prince 👑: I said 'you want to admit your undying feelings for me!'

emoshit: wtf-

Logan: I cannot believe you survived past childhood. I cannot let you reproduce.

Dad 🐶: my kiddo is gonna die 😭😭😭😭😭

emoshit: yeah well your other kiddo has fucking beef how tf is roman your favourite we are sharing words when roman dies

Prince 👑: And he said 'no! What the fuck? Are you okay?'

Logan: I can answer that.

Prince 👑: and then I said 'of course I am! I'm with you! I'll always be okay with you my love!'
Prince 👑: and I crossed the street to get a better look of him

emoshit: you fucking did what

Dad 🐶: ROMAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Logan: I am speechless. What is happening. I feel like I'm figuratively shutting down.

emoshit: logan.exe has stopped working

Prince 👑: And was he handsome, and I told him too!
Prince 👑: I said 'my love! You're so handsome! You must inform me of your skincare routine!'
Prince 👑: his cheeks looked smoother than a baby's bottom!

emoshit: wait serious?
emoshit: wait yeah okay hmu with the routine
emoshit: im feeling kinda crusty atm
emoshit: also deceit wont leave me tf alone youd think a guy with a scar on his face would know how to care for his face

Logan: No in fact you'd think the opposite.

Prince 👑: And he said 'alright dude just stay away from me, alright? I'm going, I'm going'
Prince 👑: and I said 'wait! My love! Leaving so soon? You only just got here! Please come inside!'
Prince 👑: and I followed him as he started to walk away
Prince 👑: then he began to jog
Prince 👑: then run
Prince 👑: he's gone now
Prince 👑: and that, my compadre's, is how you get rid of a possible murderer!

emoshit: wait what

Prince 👑: What? You think the police would've gotten here in time? HA! Don't make me laugh!

Logan: Are you serious?

Dad 🐶: wait kiddo you're okay?!?!?!? YOU'RE OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prince 👑: ever in a situation where someone is acting weird? Merely act weirder! If they're not insane chances are they'll run in fear from you and if they are? New best bud until they're taken away!
Prince 👑: but of course you must be as skilled as I in the acting department

emoshit: weve been scammed
emoshit: i thought you were actually fucking insane
emoshit: wtf
emoshit: we were tricked by roman

Logan: Roman outsmarted a living, breathing human being? I must revaluate my life.

Prince 👑: Hey! I'm smart!

Dad 🐶: AND ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA HUG YOU SO MUCH KIDDO

emoshit: right yeah moving the fuck on
emoshit: 'favourite kiddo' ?!?!??
emoshit: what kind of anime betrayal shit is this dad

Dad 🐶: sorry Kiddo! I don't actually have favourites! It was just the heat of the moment

Prince 👑: it was the heat of the moment!

Dad 🐶: I love you all equally!

Prince 👑: Telling me what your heart meant!

Dad 🐶: including you Lo!

Prince 👑: The heat of the moment shone in your eyes!

Logan: Thank you, Patton. I have strong platonic feelings for you too.

Prince 👑: And now you find yourself in eighty two!

emoshit: im still offended

Prince 👑: The disco hot spots hold no charm for you

emoshit: how is roman your favourite even in the heat of the moment

Prince 👑: You can't concern yourself with bigger things

Dad 🐶: I know kiddo I'm so sorry!!!

Prince 👑: You catch the pearl and ride the dragon's wings

Dad 🐶: I'll make it up to you! I promise

Prince 👑: 'Cause it's the heat of the moment!

emoshit: yeah? how?

Prince 👑: Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment shone in your eyes

Dad 🐶: weeeeeell Friday's tomorrow!

Prince 👑: And when your looks are gone and you're alone

emoshit: elaborate

Logan: How many nights you sit beside the phone.

Dad 🐶: we can do a movie night!

Prince 👑: 😱😱😱!!! What were the things you wanted for yourself!!!

Dad 🐶: I can stay over! I know how much you enjoy sleepovers

Logan: Teenage ambitions you'll remember well.

emoshit: serious?

Prince 👑: It was the heat of the moment!

Dad 🐶: Yep! We can cuddle and watch The Black Cauldron!

Logan: Telling me what your heart meant.

emoshit: will popcorn be involved?

Prince 👑: it was the heat of the moment shone in your eyes!

Dad 🐶: of course!

Logan: It was the heat of the moment.

emoshit: awesome now lets let these fucking dweebs sing it out

Prince 👑: Heat of the moment, heat of the moment, shone in your eyes!

Logan: Heat of the moment, heat of the moment.

Prince 👑: Heat of the moment

Logan: Shone in your eyes.

Dad 🐶: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

emoshit: well done guys

Dad 🐶: AWESOME SINGING KIDDOS!!!!!

emoshit: 10/10

Dad 🐶: IM SO PROUD!!!!!!

emoshit: pop off on spotify

Prince 👑: of course! Me and Logan's duets are to be rivalled!

Logan: I am glad you enjoyed it.
Logan: More importantly, are you safe now Roman?

Prince 👑: completely!

Logan: Good. May I go back to sleep?

Prince 👑: of course! Goodnight nerd, dad and emo!

Dad 🐶: Goodnight Kiddo!!!!! Sleep well

emoshit: yeah whatever night

—
Idea from:

3:17am