5:18pm

Trigger warning: bad parent, suicide indication

"Jack of all trades, master of none, but better than a master of one"

Au
—

"What about this one?" Roman held up a beautiful red shirt to Logan who rose his eyebrow in his friends direction, "You may adore the colour red but I do not" he replied, searching through the rack of clothing to try and find one suitable for himself. Roman rolled his eyes and went to put the shirt back but after gazing at it for a little longer he put it in his own bag (even though himself, Virgil and Patton were all here for Logan). He couldn't pass up the opportunity to buy clothes, it was heartbreaking!

"Lo!" Virgil called from his right, his other friend held up a dark blue shirt, Logan liked the colour but not really the pattern. He shook his head and Virgil put it back.

"Ooo!" Patton, Logan's boyfriend, squealed, rushing towards Logan and Roman with Virgil following.

"Have you found the perfect outfit?" Roman asked his excited friend. "Even better!" He grabbed Logan's hand and pulled him through the maze of clothing, the other two keeping up as best they could. When they reached the edge of the male fancy clothing section of the large store they were in all their eyes landed on a shiny black grand piano sitting squat in the middle of the empty space.

The lid was closed, chair tucked underneath, nothing about it screamed it was in use.

"I think the players on break" Virgil piped up, leaning on his husband, "they were playing five minutes ago" Roman, his husband, hummed in agreement while wrapping an arm around Virgil's waist. The two were twenty five years old, like their two friends, and got married three years ago. Some people might say they might've been too young but they both knew each other since they were children, meeting as toddlers when Virgil's family moved into the house beside Roman, neither family moved since and they grew up together, falling in love and becoming boyfriends when they were fifteen, seven years later getting married as soon as both of them had enough money to do so, and they've been purely on love ever since.

"Can you play a song, Logy?" Patton asked with such sweet twinkling eyes Logan couldn't say no, he stepped across the reflective flooring, taking the seat out from underneath the piano and sitting down, gliding his hand across it's smooth exterior before pushing open the lid.

"What song?" He then asked Patton who was bobbing on the balls of his feet in excitement.

"Oh-uh..." he pushed his lips to the side in thought, "Somewhere Only We Know?" He suggested and Logan nodded, that was the first song Logan had played for Patton when they first met. It was at a party Logan's parents were hosting, he always played a song on the piano at the parties he was invited to - after a specific request from a close friend Logan played that song, afterwards gaining sincere praise from Patton one-to-one instead of just through an applause.

They ended up hanging out in the garden which was only filled with a few people with their friends or partners, they hit it off and became close that evening - that was all last year and only started dating three months ago after Roman and Virgil couldn't bare seeing them so in love yet so oblivious.

Drifting his fingers across the notes he tapped a few to make a short but sweet tune, preparing to start playing the song. A few other shoppers glanced over at the sudden music, but quickly returned to what they were doing prior.

And then he began to play, effortlessly pressing each note without a moment of hesitation, executing the song as perfectly as he would for any other. His three friends watched on with light smiles, Patton brightening up when he began to sing gently.

"I walked across an empty land and suddenly I was on my street! Like?" His friend exclaimed in confusion, "why has no one told me that lane led to my street? D'you know how easy life would have been if I could've used it to walk to school each day?" He huffed with a shake of his head, taking a long swing of water from his bottle which once rested between his feet.

Logan looked out at the sports hall before them, watching his fellow teammates dart across the ground, trying to take the ball and score it into the hoop. "You okay, Lo?" His friend then calmed down, glancing at his teammate who usually wasn't so quiet.

"I guess" he murmured and his friend instantly knew something was up. "Alright, let me work this out" he turned to face Logan properly and the nerd rolled his eyes fondly, he knew what this meant, he was about to try and lighten his mood. He turned his head to watch him narrow his eyes in concentration, holding his hands in his friends direction.

"I'm getting..." he then waved his hands around, taking a long breath in through his nose. Logan managed a slight quirk in his lips. "Family problems— specifically....mother being a bitchy-boo again?" And Logan snorted, turning back forward, most his body leant forward, arms resting on his thighs.

His friend chuckled, slowly lowering his hands and sending Logan a sympathetic smile. "Alright, rant to be baby, what's up?" Logan sighed, he always used pet-names for him only, it's not a wonder why so many people think they're dating. "She's signing me up for gym"

His friend gasped dramatically, holding the back of his hand to his forehead. "Oh my god!" He exclaimed, "that bitch! How dare she! Gym!? Boy I'm about to call child services!"

And Logan laughed, shoving his friend playfully. "And I am about to murder you, we both know I can hide a body"

His friend grinned, leaning on him, "if I were to be murdered I'd choose my murderer to be you, baby" and a silence settled between them again until his friend slowly lifted his head, glancing at him from the corner of his eye.

"So...you're serious?" And Logan nodded forlornly.

"Sweet Jesus" he muttered, gripping his water tightly. "You'd think everything is already enough, you barely have time for yourself! She's going to kill you before you can kill me!" He shook his head in disgust but no matter what he could always make Logan's lips curl into an amused smile.

"Hm, do you have any requests?"

"Make sure my blood stains forever" he winked and Logan chuckled breathily, looking down at the space between his legs, fumbling with his water bottle.

"It'll get better, y'know?" He murmured, wrapping an arm around Logan's shoulders and pulling him into a side hug.

"Not tomorrow, certainly not in a week but...soon, I'll make sure of it"

Logan smiled and rested his head on his shoulder. "What would I do without you?" Logan murmured and he smirked, "something stupid, I'd imagine"

"I knew the pathway like the back of my hand" Logan sung ever so sweetly, his voice having been trained over years of practice. "I felt the Earth beneath my feet, sat by the river.." he carried on, a few nearby people smiling a little as they heard the song, even looking over in his direction.

"And it made me complete" she ended with a giggle. A friend sitting opposite who was originally laying on the ground but propped themselves up on their elbow halfway between the story rose their eyebrow. "All that leading up to a cookie making you complete?" She asked and the original girl huffed.

"You've never had my grandmother's cookies before!" She then turned to Logan who was looking off in the distance, "Logan! Tell her my grandmothers cookies are great!" She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. Logan looked over when his name was called, barely catching onto what she said. "They are tasty" he replied back absentmindedly and the other people sitting around knew that tone of voice.

"Uh oh" a boy grinned, "someone's thinking"

"Maybe you should try it sometime" Logan drawled as a response which made the group of six friends laugh lightly, but then it quickly fell serious again.

"You sure you can't make it to the party?" The girl who loves her grandmothers cookies frowned sadly and Logan shrugged his shoulders. "I have piano practice, and then guitar practice, and then I need to go to my Saturday tutor, I finish late and must go to sleep as soon as I return home due to swimming starting at six" he explained once again to his friends who still didn't believe he had so much going on in his life.

"Six am on a Sunday?" A boy shook his head, "that's just criminal"

"It is better than before - for two years I was getting four hours of sleep minimal, she let me extend it to six when I started to become ill"

Their friends stared on in concern, he cleared his throat and shook his head. "Break is almost over" he somewhat glanced towards the clock on the wall, standing up from the floor and walking across the mats over to the bench. One of the girls jogged over to catch up with him.

"Just don't go" she tried but Logan shook his head, "all clubs hold attendance - the ones that didn't were given specific orders to make sure I was there. If I didn't I'd be hit with a belt"

"That's child abuse-"

"Child abuse to some, discipline to others, please do not start this argument, I have tried and it ended with her winning. She always wins - the sooner you accept that the better off it'll be" he then sat down, pulling his white robe closer to his body, waiting for his turn to be called up to practice the fighting technique they were doing that day.

His friend sat beside him and hesitantly changed the subject which Logan was grateful for.

"Oh simple thing, where have you gone?" Logan's eyes didn't move from the keys, not wanting to see the small crowd that had formed, not wanting to see his friends' faces.

"I'm getting tired and I need someone to rely on. I came across a fallen tree, I felt the branches of it looking at me, is this the place we used to love?" Logan didn't need to raise his voice much for it to be heard, it was a delicate song so didn't want to be too powerful.

"Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?" Logan's friend asked from beside him, chewing on the lid of her pen. Logan looked up from what he was writing, glancing over at her page filled with words describing the world around her character. He knew she asked it more to himself, but still responded. "As soon as I figure out a machine to see dreams with, I'll tell you" at this she rolled her eyes but now engaged in conversation she put down her pen and turned to face him.

"I hear you joined our gym" she said and Logan nodded, "which is stupid!" She then hissed, hitting his arm lightly which made him flinch and turn to stare at her. "We're all for boys joining but you have so much on your plate! You joined more sessions than me and I held the record before you! How much shit do you do now?" Logan sighed, placing his pen down as he knew this conversation would go on for awhile.

"Too much" he replied back with tightened lips, she scoffed, "you're telling me- your mother needs a right talking to, I have half the mind to ditch school and fucking give her a piece of my mind with my fists"

"Although that would be pleasing to see she does this for a reason. To cope. Her husband left her, she just wants what's best for me-"

"Shut the fuck up" the girl growled, holding Logan's face and forcing him to stare into her eyes. "One more word and I'll slap you" and he knew she was serious, "don't you fucking dare let her brainwash you like that. Wants what's best for you? What? To kill you from exhaustion? She doesn't let you live, Logan, yeah you'll be able to do all these things but for what? You want to be a scientist, what has gym, sports, fighting, instruments, singing, other shit got to do with it?! Yeah, tutors but you have tutors for every single lesson! And you go to this school! This school is fucking prestigious, doesn't she know that? You don't need tutors! You're smarter than nearly everyone here!" She exclaimed and Logan thanked that the classroom was full of chatter to drown her out.

He knew she had a point, he knew she was right, he just wanted to think it was what's best for him because it's his way of coping, he wasn't getting out of this and he couldn't handle hating everything in his life just because she set him up for it. She slowly let go of his face, "I remember you when you were a kid" she murmured delicately, "we weren't friends but you used to be lively, you used to... have a gleam in your eye" she smiled slightly at the memory, but it faded just like that.

"Now?" She gently touched his face, "you lost that gleam, you're just...tired" she dropped her hand to hold his. "And I'm scared one day you'll fall sleep and won't wake up" she whispered brokenly and Logan looked away before he might start tearing up.

"I won't do that" he murmured, squeezing her hand. "Not to you"

She stared at him for a few moments longer, then pulled him into a hug. "If only that we're true" she whispered with a sad smile.

Logan leaned back, "I promise-'

"Lo" she cut him off, stroking his cheek. "One day you'll wake up and do something for yourself" she then looked down at her paper, dropping her hand from him. "I just hope it's the right thing"

"Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on. And if you have a minute, why don't we go talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything so why don't we go somewhere only we know?" a few more people stopped or at least checked out the clothes nearby to listen to the song floating out the keyboard and around that section of the store, even a member of staff paused to listen to a few lines with a smile on her face.

"Somewhere only we know?" The boy furrowed his eyebrows with his head on his datefriend's lap, "probably that place" he emphasised with an eyebrow raise and his datefriend giggled cutely, kissing his forehead after they brushed his hair away.

"Why are you two always so cutesy? It's not fair, I want a boyfriend" one of their friends whined, then turned to Logan who was strumming his guitar to tune it. "If only you weren't gay, Logan" she sighed and the boy smiled lightly, "if I weren't you'd be the first person I would fall for" and she laughed, shaking her head dismissively, hair bouncing around her.

"For a nerd you're such a flirt" she cooed, holding her own guitar in her hands too.

"Oh, Logan!" The friend who combed their boyfriends hair through their fingers caught his attention, "I know we just met but how about coming out with us all later? We're going bowling!" They exclaimed in excitement, the more people the merrier. They were new to guitar practise, joining because they had always played guitar but never with a professional helping. Plus their boyfriend was in the group so it was a win win. 

The two other's who were there shared an uneasy glance. "I cannot, I apologise" Logan replied, noticing the look shared between the boyfriend and the girl. "Oh-how about another day?"

Logan sighed, strumming the guitar again. "I am a very busy person, do not take it the wrong way, I go to a lot more clubs than just guitar lessons" and he left it at that, always awkward explaining his life to new people - he just let his friends who already knew do that for him. That was a good thing about all these clubs - he had a bunch of friends in each.

"Oh.." they drifted, "okay" frowning they looked down at their boyfriend who sat up and took their hand. "Come with me a sec, honey" he murmured, the two standing up and walking away from the girl and Logan.

"I can imagine one day you saying no to your mother" the girl sighed dreamily, leaning back in her chair. "I hope in their for the day" Logan managed a light chuckle, "it'll happen, one day" his promise was empty, the girl knew that yet still smiled, although Logan could see the truth behind her expression. "One day" she agreed and the two dropped the conversation.

"Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old, and I need someone to rely on. So tell me when you're gonna let me in, I'm getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin" Patton pushed up his glasses to wipe at his eyes, he always got emotional at this song, especially at the way Logan sung it, with emotion powering each word.

"And if you have a minute, why don't we go talk about it somewhere only we know? Cus' this could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know?" this time Logan paused, the music coming to a brief pause, one more line in the song.

"Somewhere only we know?" He whispered, finally finishing the song, not looking up when the people around them began to clap, not looking up when Patton pulled him into a hug, not looking up when tears began to fall down his cheeks and against Patton's neck.

They went home once he finished the song.

—

"You ready for the party?" Patton asked Logan, leaning on the doorway to his room where he was sitting on his bed, phone in hand. It was a week since the incident with crying in the shop, since Logan hasn't told anyone why he broke down, he knew he would eventually but not yet - at least, not to Roman or Virgil.

"Can I show you something?" Logan asked, Patton seemed surprised but nodded anyway, smiling happily when Logan took his hand and walked through his house, up the second flight of stairs that led into the attic. Patton waited by the door, watching Logan search through some boxes until he pulled out a sheet of paper, colour coordinated, scheduled for each day of the week.

"Since I was seven years old up until I was eighteen this was roughly my schedule each day. More was added as I aged, so this was what I dealt with for most of my teenage years" he explained before handing the paper to Patton, watching his eyes gaze over the words written across the page.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, each day, even Sunday, chock full of hours of different activities, in the morning he'd go swimming each day for two hours, arrive at school, not even come home before he's off to piano practice, then sports, tutors, more instruments...

Patton held a hand to his mouth, realising he barely got any sleep - he had ten minutes break each day.

"This was your childhood?" He whispered, not knowing if Logan liked it or not but he knew he wouldn't, all of this seemed so over the top, he would have no time for himself. Logan nodded grimly, taking the paper and placing it behind him. "I think it is why I am so...out of touch with myself. I did not have time to grow, to understand who I was, to connect with my emotions, I suppose" he explained, barely able to meet Patton's sympathetic gaze.

"I...was trapped, I couldn't escape, if I tried I'd be punished" his voice was a hollow whisper, "she did all of this - she wanted me to become this...jack of all trades, but instead be a master of all trades. I can still do a lot of what I practiced but I do not want to, I want to grow out of it, and I will but it's still lingering, I will gladly play the piano, it's the one thing I asked to do, the one thing I felt was my choice, but everything else?" He shook his head and clenched his eyes shut.

"My friend told me I would one day wake up and do something for myself. She said she hoped I'd do the right thing" he breathed out, looking up at Patton. "And today I woke up with that running through my mind - I know what I have to do"

Logan didn't attend that party, in fact he didn't attend anymore, in the end he left his mother childless - he didn't die, instead cut himself off from her in every way possible.

She never saw her son again, but truly she lost him years ago.

—
What was this? I don't know, but I do like the song

Someone go back through this and name each of Logan's friends lmao

7:18pm