12:11am

Damn....I'm c u t e

BON AGREE-........he's not gonna see this for years, never mind

Trigger warning: slight mentions of homophobia

Au
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"I remember when I was younger" he murmured into the mist, moist air clinging to their skin. "I was dressed up in these frilly, pink dresses..." he then snorted, as if the memories caused no harm. "She'd tie my hair up in a different style every day, I wondered how she came up with so many" his dark eyes gazed at the white clouds hanging over them, surrounding them completely.

"She'd use countless bows, clips - they gave me horrible headaches but I didn't want to take them out. I wanted to be pretty for her, but I was...too pretty, like a perfect doll" he slowly turned his head to his boyfriend who watched with intent curiosity.

"I guess I was her doll, in a way. I couldn't see any other reason why she wanted to have me - I was something she could dress up and be all proud of. I never really liked it but I didn't think she ever cared" he looked down at his hand after he felt his boyfriend touch it gently, twisting it palm up he intertwined their fingers and smiled lightly.

"You should've seen the piles of Valentine's Day cards on my desk every year, the attention made me so fucking anxious, I couldn't stand any of the people around me. At that age I couldn't stand anyone but the teacher who would comb my hair and massage my scalp...it felt nice, and she always corrected the clips exactly afterwards. I guess she didn't want me to get told off" he rambled, tracing his thumb over his boyfriend's hand.

"I don't think I ever suited dresses, she made me so self conscious 'cus I didn't have stupid curves. And a flat chest. Guess it's not a bad thing now. Maybe I wasn't born so wrong after all" he murmured the end, more of an inner thought with no real meaning. "I wonder what it felt like to watch her daughter grow up to be cripplingly self conscious, while forcing her to wear shorts that barely covered her ass and crop tops just decent enough to wear in public" he shook his head in disgust and lifted his eyes to the mist again.

"She wanted the best child in town, and that child certainly was. In all the wrong ways. She was either a slut, or she was rigid. She couldn't win" his boyfriend shuffled closer, pecking his cheek softly which always made him smile. "She then got mad, one day...so, so frustrated. With the clothes, the makeup, the hair, the looks, the whistles...she did something stupid, she came out as gay knowing it was a lie. She wasn't and never was attracted to girls, but it sure helped. The homophobia was a nice break- at least she couldn't be offended, she wasn't exactly gay after all. And it gave her a break, her mother didn't talk to her for weeks. She could do what she wanted, wear what she decided"

Slowly he looked over at his boyfriend and chucked humourlessly, "maybe it's a good thing she doesn't exist now"

His boyfriend shook his head, "she does. She's you. He's you. He's always been you. And you've always been him. A boy who grew up as a girl and maybe wondered why everything was so wrong" he offered and he nodded softly, resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

His boyfriend hugged him tight, "and he can let his mom wonder what went 'wrong', what she did to no longer have connections with her son. And he can live a happy life no longer in frilly dresses but in cute, purple and black jackets" he giggled, tilting his boyfriend's head up.

The boys smiled softly - and they kissed.

And he'd continue to be happy for the rest of his life.

—
Don't know what this was bUt needed a break from another story that I'm writing that is chalking up to be very long

12:38am