6:21pm

Swear this one you'll save

Au
―

Kynan flinched awake when he heard the all familiar noise of his alarm blaring throughout his room. He didn't move for a few moments, trying to register if that noise was coming from his dream when he realised he was awake; he was back in the real world and his phone wouldn't shut up!

Rolling over, he grabbed it, tapped the screen randomly while trying to find the 'lock button' but he was so deep into the 'just woken up' stage he had no idea what he was doing. Finally, the noises stopped, and he dropped the phone, settling back against his bed that was extremely more comfortable in the morning than last night.

With the warm blanket cocooning him, blocking out the world, he rested, content, a smile slipping onto his lips as he drifted in and out of sleep, every ten minutes being awoken by his alarm.

Finally, when he had enough (and knew he didn't have much time to get ready for school) he shut off the alarm, sat up and rubbed his eyes. A yawn escaped him as he removed the blanket and stepped out of bed, almost flopping back onto it but his motivation kicked in and he walked out the room into the bathroom down the hall.

While he opened the door, he heard the sound of his dad singing from downstairs and he rolled his eyes, yawning again and locking the door so he could do his business without any distributions. His dad like to sing, a lot, and Kynan would find him singing with everything that he did. While cooking, he sang, while writing scripts for his videos, he sang, showering, singing, cleaning, singing, existing, singing!

Sometimes it annoyed Kynan, other times he didn't care, sometimes he liked silence and other times his dad was singing a good song!

Reentering his room, he paused in the doorway, head tilted to the side when he swore he heard his dad talking to someone, but when the singing started back up he guessed it was just apart of the song. Closing the door with his foot, he changed into washed-out black jeans, a purple t-shirt with a storm cloud in the centre (which was given to him by his dad who said it was merchandise for his fans, Kynan liked it and wanted it) and black shoes to match the whole outfit.

While he packed his bag, he brought out his phone and texted into the group chat of his friends to see if anyone would be off today - just to know which lessons he might lone in, as his group of friends all separated in different classes, their schedules and sets all different. By the time he fixed his hair and was halfway down the stairs, he confirmed all his friends would be in school today.

Happy, he strode across the living room into the kitchen, leaning on the doorless archway, watching his dad walk around the kitchen, wearing pyjamas bottoms and weirdly a jacket without a top on underneath.

"Morning, Tom" Kynan greeted, the man spun around and grinned. "Morning, Ky! Here, I made this" he grabbed a plate from the counter beside the fridge, handing it to his son. It was an egg on a toasted piece of bread. "My favourite" Kynan mused, leaving the room to sit on the table beside the glassless window separating the kitchen and the living room. "I know! I made sure the yolk was hard this time!"

Kynan snorted; he hated runny egg yolk.

"Thanks, Tom" and with that he began to eat his food, conscience of the passing time. He had called his dad by his real name for as long as he could remember; well, his real name was Thomas but Kynan knew he was one of the odd few that called him Tom, and actually preferred it to Thomas. He didn't know why he didn't say dad, many children as he grew up were confused by his ways, they thought he was adopted or something, but Kynan knew he was biologically related - his mother was a surrogate, Thomas wanted a son, not minding he was single.

It got so worked up one time, his use of 'Tom', he was even given a detention by one of his kindergarten teachers for 'disrespecting his dad' for calling him by his name, not his title. Of course Kynan complained to Thomas who in turn complained to the school, that teacher never bothered Kynan again.

Now that he finished his breakfast, he placed the dish in the sink. "See ya later, Tom!" He called to his dad who had returned upstairs to 'change' - Kynan knew he was going back to sleep for a few more hours.

"Bye, Ky! Stay safe!"

Arriving at school only took a short walk, which was why he avoided the bus. Plus the fact the thing was always filled with idiots who think bullying is just a great pass time. He found his friends inside already, standing around their lockers they managed to group together - in this school you get to choose where your lockers are, and they all congregated by the front doors which was the best place to have them.

"Ky!" One of his friends, Braiden, yelled upon noticing him, waving him over as if he wasn't walking in their direction anyway.

"What's up, Braiden?" Kynan sighed, already knowing he was in a long one for today, like everyday, admittedly. "The school stopped the comic club!" He complained, "can you believe it?!"

"Yes" he responded without missing a beat, opening his locker and smirking at his other friends who all giggled at his response. The three other members of their small group of friends were all girls; the smartest of the bunch named Sumaiyah, who was actually currently reading one of her many favourite English literatures. Kynan wondered how she did it and could actually pay attention with Braiden in the near vicinity. The most popular in their group was named Tahlia. She didn't used to be their friend few years back, in fact she was their bully, but when her friends abandoned and betrayed her, Kloe - the third girl in their group - became her friend and slowly introduced her to the group, and ever since she's been a permanent part. She's still the typical 'popular girl' but not at all annoying or obnoxious. She's still dating her boyfriend jock dude who eventually got used to her friend choice.

As previously mentioned, Kloe was the other girl. She and Braiden first became friends, then Braiden (after a school project) befriended Kynan who was happy to hang out with them, as at the time he was just flicking himself from friend group to friend group, him not caring about them and vice versa, he just didn't want to be alone during breaks and lunches and periods. When the three hung out for awhile, Sumaiyah (who before this didn't really have many friends, other than the members of the book club) started to feel attractions to Kloe who - low and behold - felt the same way back. After deep encouragement from her friends she asked Sumaiyah out and ever since she's been their friend. Then with Tahlia joining, they all had a close bond with one another, no matter who hung out with who.

Braiden huffed out and leaned against his locker, agitated. "Braiden, you were the one who wanted different clubs!" Kloe exasperated, removing her head from Sumaiyah's shoulder, running a hand through her hair afterwards. Half of it was shaven off, the other growing long down the side of her head, a mixture of blue, black and green. It wasn't intentional but in the end Kloe learned to love it. And, of course, with that hairstyle she also had the septum piercing, tongue piercing and stretched earlobes.

Braiden glared, swinging his bag he left on the floor back over his shoulders when the bell was about to ring. "I didn't think they'd shut down my one! We had a steady following!"

Before anymore on the matter could be said, the bell rang and they all sighed in relief, bar Braiden who rolled his eyes. "Whatever, come on, Kloe, we have math" the girl mouthed 'help me' to her friends as she walked away with Braiden, leaving them all chuckling. "See ya at lunch, Kynan" Thalia then turned to Sumaiyah who finally put away her book. "And you second period"

With that, Thalia walked off down the hallway, hips swaying with her steps. It was a well known fact she was apart of the more attractive members of the school. "Ready for English?" Sumaiyah smiled at Kynan who groaned, exaggerating it immensely. "God damn fucking curriculum, forcing a child with anxiety to stand in front of the class and muster out a speech - for what!?" Sumaiyah placed a comforting hand onto his shoulder, rubbing the tension away.

"I know; I have complained, too, even got my parents to phone but it seems they're really adamant we all do this"

Kynan rolled his eyes, remembering what his teacher told him. 'This will help his anxiety'. As if! All it'll do is emotionally scar him more than anything.

As they walked down the hallway, Kynan could feel his stomach clench with that familiar anxious feeling, having to swallow his nerves, but it wasn't helping. Sumaiyah kept her arm looped around Kynan's, letting him know she was there and to keep him grounded. They suggested, in the end, to the teacher if Sumaiyah could stand beside Kynan while he did the speech, but she declined as if she let them do it, she'd have to let everyone else do it, too, but the thing was no one else wanted to do that!

School was bullshit sometimes.

They sat down in their seats beside each other, thankful they were allowed. The perks of being boy/girl, as nearly every classroom was set out that way. As more students rolled in and took their seats, Kynan could feel his nerves spike and spike until he had to grip Sumaiyah's hand to try and balance himself out, but he could already feel his throat tightening and breathing harshen.

"Would you like me to call your father?" She murmured quietly, gazing in concern at his face that was scrunched up with concentration. The last time Kynan had a panic attack in school - a few months ago - it was so bad they had all no idea what to do until Tahlia remembered a fact Kynan had dismissed them with awhile ago. His dad also had anxiety. So, she grabbed her phone and called him (the only reason she had his number was because she saved it after he called her when Kynan's phone died and they were at a party. He had her number because Kynan wrote down his friends numbers in a notebook). When she explained to Thomas what was happening, he talked Kynan through it over the phone until he was leaning against the school in a ball, subdued but tired. He went home a little while later.

Kynan shook his head in response to her question. He didn't want to bother his dad with this, as they both had already talked and been over this speech before, Kynan wanted to make his dad proud one way or another.

Throughout the lesson student after student was called up, and in that moment Kynan couldn't be more glad his last name was further along the alphabet. "Next, Sumaiyah!" The teachers voice called throughout the classroom. It was such an ear piercing voice, one that can fill up large rooms and make anyone shudder. Kynan hated it so much. His friend arose and walked up to the front of the class, her hands straightening out her skirt that flowed in the breeze, stopping just beneath her knees.

Kynan could barely hear what his friend said, too focused on the fact he was next, he was going to be called up, forced to stand in front of a crowd of teenagers while his anxiety went wild inside of him. He wondered what he had done in his life to garner this cruel punishment. Why couldn't he be as confident as Sumaiyah? She could speak in front of millions without an ounce of hesitation!

Sooner than he desired, Sumaiyah finished speaking, and when Kynan heard his name being called his skin paled and his breath hitched. Sumaiyah returned to her seat, gripping Kynan's hand before he could stand up. "Ky, just leave, she can't make you do this" she whispered, Kynan understood the worriment and sentiment, but he shook his head, telling her he had to do this.

Arising on shaky legs, he made his way to the front, unable to stare at the students as he slowly, slowly turned around. "Begin" the teacher urged, sitting off to the side, arms crossed, eyes judgemental. He could curse her to hell in that moment - he wished he could pick up all his anxiety and slap her in the face with it.

Opening his mouth, he felt a pang of fear spread through him when he realised he couldn't remember anything from his speech. He knew it was his anxiety making him forget, because he has said his speech out loud without any help before (when he was alone in his room) but this scene was much different, and in a flash he knew he wouldn't be able to do it.

"Kynan, I said begin" the teacher urged, becoming snippy.

A weak, incoherent sound escaped Kynan's lips before he turned to the door and sprinted out the room. Sumaiyah went to follow when the teacher ordered her to sit back down, threatening anyone that left with him would instantly get an after school detention. "He's just doing it for attention" she dismissed, harshly crossed his name off the list and ordered the next student up. In her hand, Sumaiyah's pencil snapped she held it so tightly.

Outside the classroom, Kynan managed to get himself to the bathroom where he pressed up against the furthest wall, spluttering and gasping. He knew running was the worst thing he could've done, for that only worsened his breathing state, but he couldn't help it, with the terror and panic that swirled and took over his entire being, he just couldn't help it. Sliding down the wall, he rose his legs up and held his his knees tightly, clamping his hands over them as he tried to ground himself, focus himself on the world.

Breathe, breathe, breathe, in and out, breathe...

It helped, for a few seconds, but after repeating it so many times in his head it became a mess, nothing sounded real anymore, and he couldn't keep his vision straight, let alone his thoughts that spiralled out of control. Just when he thought he would die from being unable to get enough oxygen, two hands landed on his shoulders, their grasp firm but not too tight to hurt.

"Kynan, listen to me, listen to my voice, yeah? I'm right here, Ky, right here"

That voice, why did it sound so familiar?

With his eyes clenched shut to stop the world from spinning, it allowed him to home in on the voice that murmured reassurance to him in just the right way, oddly. Like whoever it was knew exactly what he needed to hear, which usually his dad only knew that, but this definitely wasn't his dads voice. He helped him through a breathing technique, not letting him go until he could breathe on his own and actually open his eyes.

Shaking his head to rid the blur, he looked up to thank whoever helped him when a gasp escaped his lips and he pressed back to the wall again, hands splayed out on the floor, paralysed in shock and...fear.

Before him-sitting right in front of him was...him.

"Kynan, please don't freak out, I know this is weird-!"

"Weird!? It's more than weird!" He yelled, hoisting himself up and moving away from...him? No, no, not him, whatever that was. "Who-what are you?! Why do you look like me?" He demanded, slowly, slowly inching his way towards the bathroom door.

"Listen, Kynan, I'm you" the person stated, "...I'm apart of you" they corrected, and from his outer appearance and voice Kynan didn't have any reason to fear him, other than the fact they looked the exact same! Was this sort of trick? Joke? Prank? Does he suddenly have a twin he didn't know about? When he thought about what he said, he finally had a few more questions.

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"Kynan, look at me, look at what I'm wearing"

Kynan did. Whoever it was wore a normal looking pair of dark blue jeans, which didn't really elect much in his memory, but when he gazed at his top, it did. It was mostly black with a few, red flowers dotted across it, and when he took a step back, he realised it was the exact same clothing as his dad wore in a picture that was displayed on his desk at home. The picture was of Thomas with his arm around his mothers shoulders, both grinning and holding a hand over her bump. He wore the exact same clothing as Thomas on that day.

"What-...wh-who are you?" Kynan asked shakily, becoming more frightened each second. "I know this is a lot" whoever it was held up their hands, "to comprehend, but trust me, I'm not here to hurt you or anything similar. I'm your...Morality, Ky" he explained, wincing a bit when Kynan looked even more confused and not at all convinced.

"Believe me, Ky" this boy took a few rushed steps forward, "I know I shouldn't have appeared here but I couldn't leave you like that knowing you'd be alone. I had to help, Ky, I would feel terrible if I didn't"

"How-how can you be my morality?" Kynan decided to ask, ignoring his pleas and explanation for a minute. "I'm not just your morality" he began, "I'm your emotions, most of them, your happiness, sadness, your rare childish behaviour and more common mature tendencies. I'm your knowledge of right from wrong, as well as everything else" his 'Morality' managed a small smile. "Just call me Morality, Bug"

Bug...like the pet name his dad called him all the time when he was a child.

"I-I...am I dead?" He whispered and Morality laughed, shaking his head fondly. "Not at all, Bug, but I wouldn't go back to that classroom, I don't like how that teacher treats you" he then frowned for the first time and walked up to Kynan who tensed, watching as Morality lifted his hand and brushed his hair from his eyes gently.

"If you're apart of me, how can you touch me?" Morality smile again and dropped his hand, "you can touch yourself, can't you?"

He nearly choked at the wording of his sentence while Morality didn't look phased, as if he didn't realise the other meaning behind those words. "I need to go back into your mind before anyone else sees me" Morality then took a few steps back, grinning a grin Kynan lost when he became a teenager. "See ya, Bug!" With that, Morality sunk into the ground as if it were quick sand, leaving him alone in the room, trying to comprehend everything that just occurred.

In the end, he couldn't understand it at all, and when the bell rang he met Sumaiyah by their lockers, thanking her for collecting his things. "I'm not going to allow any sort of punishment that will arise because of this" Sumaiyah growled out determinedly, "she has to get through me, Tahlia, Kloe and Braiden before she can even look at you" Kynan smiled at her protectiveness, bringing her into a short hug afterwards.

"Thanks, Sum" he murmured, but before he moved onto his next class where he would meet up with Tahlia, he turned back to Sumaiyah. "Wait, do you believe in...magic?" He winced, finding that to sound very childlike. Sumaiyah tilted her head slightly, then slowly shook it, "magic from most stories would never exist, however there are some things people would deem 'magic'. Why?"

Kynan shook his head, "don't worry, thank you, again, see you at break" with that he hurried off to next lesson, unable to get his Morality off of his mind.

During break, when his friends discovered what happened, they were all at a different level of anger. Sumaiyah's more controlled as she had longer to comprehend and calm down, Tahlia was outraged, her voice higher-pitched to prove this, Braiden was silent which proved he was pissed, while Kloe was just exaspated as she munched on her fries and held Sumaiyah's hand.

Kynan managed to make them all drop it, he knew them all getting involved in something that can be easily sorted out would just make it worse. The rest of the day was spent with him mostly in his own thoughts, wondering how his Morality has become an embodiment of a person, and if there were any more of him, or if it was just Morality. So many questions with no answers - he had to bring him back when he arrived home.

After they all shared hugs and goodbyes at the end of the day, Kynan parted from his friends with a quick step in his pace, thankful he would be home alone for awhile as Thomas was out at his office shooting his videos. He hadn't actually ever watched one of his dads videos before - he's seen glimpses and been there when they recorded, but hasn't sat down to watch, he was sure they were amusing but YouTube didn't really interest him much.

Locking his bedroom door, he dropped his bag and paced around in his room for awhile, hoping to god what happened earlier was real and he didn't imagine it all in his post-panic attack state. Standing in front of his door, he crossed his arms over his chest, breathed in and out and called for Morality.

Soon, he appeared, sinking up from the ground with a sheepish smile. "Hey, Bug, feeling better?"

"You would know, wouldn't you?" He responded and Morality smiled, shrugging loosely. "Someone's catching on" Morality then looked around his bedroom and grinned, moving around the place with a slight skip in his step, picking objects up from his childhood and gazing over them closely. Kynan felt a warmth of nostalgia wave through him even if he wasn't searching the items himself.

"Mor, stop that"

Morality turned to him with a delighted grin, "ooo! You were always quick with nicknames" he mused, then sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to him. Kynan sat down, and in their moment of silence, reached out and tapped Morality's shoulder, gently dragging his fingers down the fabric of the shirt. He had only seen it in that picture, yet it felt exactly how he imagined it to.

"Wanna meet the rest, Bug?"

Kynan's eyes widened. "The rest?"

"Yeah! Your Logic, Creativity And Anxiety!"

Kynan tensed and stood up from his bed, drawing a few steps back. "My Anxiety?" He whispered, then shook his head, "no, no! Fuck that! I never want to meet that" he spat it like a curse, but as soon as he did he felt his heart clench with sadness. Looking up at Morality, he knew it was his doing. "Bug" he murmured, arising from the bed. "He's only doing his job. You don't have to hate him.."

Kynan laughed in disbelief, "are you serious!? Do you remember what happened earlier today? That was his fault - he makes me think that I'm going to die when I'm in my panic attacks, he makes me have panic attacks! Do you know how hard they are to deal with? To get through?" Kynan shook his head, "how can I not hate him?"

Morality stared at him for awhile, closed his eyes and looked the other way. "Listen, Ky" he began, "Anxiety isn't always a good thing, he knows that, but he's not just that. He's your flight or fight instincts, he's the one who makes sure you're safe, he keeps you from...from crossing the road without looking, or making sure you locked the doors and turned off the oven when you're done with it. He may be heightened, yes, but that is not his fault, and if you keep talking about him like this then I will stop appearing here and stay in your mind for the rest of your life" from the way he spoke Kynan knew he was serious, he really would never come back.

Kynan didn't know what to do; how could he like his anxiety? Something that hinders him? Just because it has feelings? He does, too, and doesn't particularly like running out of a classroom our of fear. However, he didn't want Morality to do that, so he murmured an apology, which he found insane, apologising so sincerely to himself.

"Now, wanna meet the others?"

Kynan nodded and tensed, watching as three more versions of himself appeared in the room. Almost instantly his eyes landed on his Anxiety, and he knew it was him. Two years ago he went through a slight phrase; it was a tough one, a real bad one, he couldn't get out of bed in the mornings and hadn't mustered a smile in months; the moment in his life he felt fear day in day out, curling in his stomach like a python, unable to be removed.

For most of the days of his 'phrase' as he called it, he wore a simple pair of black leggings, and a...soft pink top. All it was was a mixture between white and pink, some parts more white, some parts more pink, but he loved that top, given to him by his surrogate mother, and wearing it always made him feel good, however after his phrase he couldn't look at it, and ended up burning it. That was probably the biggest regret he had; wearing something that meant so much, ruined with new memories he was still haunted by.

Still, seeing it again, seeing it right there, in his grasp, it made him freeze up, remembering those days, hour long days laying in his bed while Tom tried everything and anything, desperately trying to make him better.

Suddenly, Kynan didn't mind not ever seeing 'him-selves' again.

He turned his head to the side, looking at Morality. "You could've warned me"

"I'm sorry, Bug-"

"How could you wear that?" He then turned back to Anxiety who drew back. "How could you..." Kynan now whispered, shaking his head and turning his body halfway. "I don't care if I can't ever see you again" he closed his eyes tightly, "go, just go! I wish I never met you all!" He yelled, grabbed his door and yanked it open, slamming it behind him before running down the staircase and sitting on the couch, holding his head in his hands. Moments like this he wished his dad didn't work so much in his office.

He sat down in that same position for awhile, calming himself as much as he could. Once he realised he needed a distraction, he grabbed the remote control and turned on the television, flicking on a random cartoon and settling into the cushions, trying to force memories of today out of his mind forever.

An entire week passed before Kynan saw one of 'him-selves' again. He was sitting in his room at his desk, finishing off his homework when he felt a presence beside him. He expected it to be Tom, but realised he didn't hear the door open, and felt the hairs on his neck stand.

Thankfully, when he looked it was one he hadn't met before. He could guess who it was, however, as he was wearing a costume he designed as a kid. A simple white top and white jeans with red, blue and yellow designs coated overtop, going for a 'super-hero' vibe. Kynan was surprised a part of himself would want to carry on wearing that.

"Hello, Ky" his Creativity smiled, subtly pushing away his homework. "I know you don't want to see us again but I didn't get to introduce myself" with that, Creativity took a step back, swooped to bend his upper half down in a bow, and grinned. "Creativity! Or Pip, at your service"

"Pip?-oh..." Kynan didn't need an explanation, he knew what Pip referred to. It was the name given to an imaginary friend he created as a child - one that kept him safe at night from monsters under the bed and 'fought off bullies' from kindergarten.

"Uh, well, hey, Pip" he sighed and stood up, moving across the room to take a seat on his bed.

"I don't want to be the spoiler of the mood" Pip began, "but I feel if you get to know your Anxiety, you wouldn't hate him as much"

"I felt the same, too, when he first appeared!" Pip was quick to explain, "but as time went by I could really see how much he helped you. Yes sometimes it wasn't great, and more times than one you have panicked immensely because of him, however! He isn't that bad" Kynan shook his head, avoiding Pip's gaze, his entire being.

"He wore that top"

Beside him, Pip sighed, as if knowing he'd bring it up. "It's not his fault-"

"Not his fault-?!"

"It's because when you imagine your anxiety you think of that time, that horrible time in your life, it's become such a close correlation he can't change what he looks like" Pip cut him off back, voice starting loud to over power his host, then lowering as he progressed.

"Which is why you two communicating will help. You will stop mixing your anxiety with that time, and he can change" Pip reassured, leaning over and holding a hand over Kynan's. The host stared at his Creativity for awhile, then turned his head and shook it solemnly. "I can't even look at him, let alone try and talk to him..." Pip sighed again, gently stroking the top of Kynan's hand, knowing it soothed him. It soothed them all. "If you can't bare to look at it think how he must feel, having to wear it each day without being able to remove it, or cover it...we can change, me, Morality and Logic, however he cannot, and now that we established we're..here, with you, physically, I think we can sort this problem out, don't you?"

Kynan didn't dare look up at his side who stayed silent, waiting patiently for Kynan's response. "Pip..I-.." he drifted, but it was no use trying to say 'you don't understand ' because if anyone were to understand what he went through it was himself, and he knew all his sides knew the reason he was putting this off was because of his own fear, because he didn't want to fall back into that phrase, that deep pit that seemed inescapable, but it wouldn't happen, it was his own anxiety making him feel this way.

And if his Anxiety wanted to remove that top so much, why would he be trying to keep Kynan away? Because in that moment Kynan realised indeed it wasn't his Anxiety's fault - he was just doing his job, something he physically couldn't stop if he wanted to.

"Tomorrow?" Kynan meekly suggested, but it was more like a child's plea than anything. Pip pulled them into a side hug and silently agreed, leaving the room by sinking into the ground. Kynan flopped back onto his bed, pressed his palms into his eyes and groaned out, thankful the next day was a Saturday.

Later that evening, Kynan appeared downstairs and smiled weakly at his dad who handed him a plate full of steaming food. "Hey, Ky" he greeted, tilting his head slightly. "Are you okay? You seem down recently" he commented, trying to keep himself lighthearted and not too serious, but Kynan knew Thomas was starting to become on edge, for this was the exact same way his 'phrase' started - with a few weeks of him feeling down.

"I'm..." Kynan drifted, so used to saying he was fine, for a long time he was, he was completely fine, but now he isn't, and knowing bottling emotions didn't really help at all, that was the last thing he wanted to do. "I guess I'm not exactly alright" he admitted, setting down his plate on the table beside the windowless hole to the kitchen. Thomas sat opposite him with his own food, placing down his glass of wine and cup of water for Kynan.

"Wanna talk about it?" Thomas suggested, Kynan didn't know why, it wasn't like he was going to let him go without it, however, he brushed his thoughts aside and nodded, pushing his food across the plate as he tried to think of a way to explain his situation without making it obvious he's discovered his...'sides'.

"A friend of mine..." he started, sending Thomas a small grin as an own self-awareness comment to the fact 'a friend of mine' referred to himself, but didn't want to outwardly admit that. Thomas just smiled back and stayed silent for him to continue, "recently gotten into trouble with a friend" Kynan winced at his poor explanation, wondering where he would go from here.

"And now my friend pictures the person he fell out with to be...bad" Kynan waved around his fork as he spoke, "and he doesn't want to, because he wants to make up with his ex-friend and so does said ex-friend...what does he do?" He looked up at his dad for help who needed a moment to comprehend what Kynan had told him.

Kynan noticed this and sighed, shaking his head. "It's fine, it doesn't matter" he tried to brush off but Thomas seemed adamant on helping him.

"No, it does!" He reassured, "did they fall out over something big?"

Kynan nodded.

Thomas hummed, "if they want to make up, then they should sit down and have a long talk. Discuss what the argument was about and work it out between them calmly" he suggested, then took a bite from the food he had cooked. Kynan sent him a half smile and nodded, "he'll try".

And Kynan would, the next day.

Waking up a little last eleven, he had a post it note stuck to his forehead when he woke up from his dad, he had gone to the office early today. Kynan sighed and threw the note into his waste paper basket, sitting up in bed, yawning and stretching his arms above his head. Time to face his not-really demons.

Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he stood up and had a quick shower as he hadn't had one in a few days, changing into sweats and a simple tee. After he had brunch and watched some television, he finally felt like he could confront his Anxiety. This was sure to be fun.

Walking up to his room, he locked his bedroom door and sat on his bed, taking a few deep breaths before calling for Anxiety.

There was a pause before someone appeared, but it wasn't his Anxiety, and by order of elimination Kynan knew him to be his logic.

He wore, unsurprisingly, the most smartest thing Kynan had ever worn - when he was younger his dad took him to a wedding for his friend, he wore neat, ironed black trousers, a white button up shirt and a matching black bow tie. He guessed his logic would forever look like he's going to a wedding until he finds something with the same level of 'professionalism'.

"Hello" he greeted, pulling at the cuffs around his wrists. "I am here to reassure Anxiety you in no way plan to insult him, degrade him, make him feel 'worse than he already does', try to attack him, or yell at him. He is under quite a bit of pressure and I'm sure your own anger won't help him much. So; all you plan to do is talk calmly, correct?"

Kynan gazed at him with wide, sort of glazed over eyes, "wow..." he breathed, dragging it out. "Why do you sound so professional- know what? Doesn't matter" Kynan waved off then nodded, "yep, correct, no yelling, insults, etc"

Logic nodded then disappeared, a few minutes later Kynan wondered if his Anxiety would ever show up, but finally he did, and Kynan physically couldn't stop his breath from hitching in his throat when his eyes trained on that t-shirt, so prominent, so damn fucking pink!

He had to snap his eyes away from the shirt and focus them on Anxiety's face before he would freak out again, he looked worried yet closed off, as if waiting for some sort of insult or yelling. Kynan rose up from the bed and took small, tiny steps over to him until they were close, so close they could reach out and touch the other.

"Hello" Kynan murmured, Anxiety seemed to relax a little, shuffling on the spot nervously. "Hi..." he replied back, voice just as low and quiet. They waited in awkward silence for awhile, wondering if either would say anything, then asking themselves what would be the best thing to say.

Kynan eventually sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to freak out like I did last week, I-"

"I know" Anxiety cut him off, bringing his hands together to fiddle with, "I know" he repeated, voice quieter. "It was unexpected, I shouldn't have come up-" Kynan stopped him before he could spiral into a self-blaming rant, for he had been there many times.

"Anx, no, stop" Kynan shook his head, "I didn't know if we'd get along, when I saw the...the top I..." he closed his eyes, "I freaked out and I'm sorry. We need to get you out of it" Kynan reopened his eyes then turned to his closet, opening up the doors and searching for a new top while Anxiety watched him.

"It won't work, we've tried, it just turns back" Anxiety tried but Kynan wasn't having any of it, he walked up to his Anxiety and held towards him a dark grey top with an embroidered, small dog poking his head out the chest pocket. One of his favourites.

"Wear this" Kynan urged, taking a step back. Anxiety sighed but gave in, taking off his shirt and putting on the new one. Kynan gulped, took in a breath, then picked up the top, holding it from his body at an arms length, his entire body tensing, screaming at him to drop it, but he couldn't, he needed to do something first.

Leaving his room, his Anxiety followed him as he left the house and threw the top onto the barbecue - he then grabbed lighter fuel and a match, spraying it across the clothing, lighting the match.

Anxiety flickered his eyes from Kynan to the top.

In an instant, it was up in flames.

"I'll be wearing it again tomorrow" Anxiety mumbled, surprised when Kynan wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "And we'll do this everyday" Kynan promised, and he keeps his promises.

Anxiety was right, the next day the top was back, and again they burnt it, together. And again, and again, bonding more and more, laughing, joking, Kynan realising his Anxiety wasn't so bad after all.

And one day he showed up wearing that dark grey top with the embroidered dog in the chest pocket.

Kynan smiled and stood up, marching over to a part of himself and pulling him into a fierce hug.

"Grey suits you better" Kynan chuckled, his Anxiety joined in. Suddenly, Morality, Pip and Logic were all in the room too, giving their praise to both of them who smiled and wrapped an arm around each other's shoulders.

"Kynan-"

The door opened and everyone gasped, turning to it in shock. Thomas poked his head in, eyes widening when he saw Kynan...with a bunch of himself.

"Oh.." Thomas breathed, Kynan backed away, he and his Anxiety suddenly having laboured breathing.

Thomas knew his secret...

What was he going to do?

—
11:16pm