6:07pm

Wrong number Au's are fucking great

The picture has nothing to do with this OneShot ^

Au
—

14th May - 4:03pm

Unknown - sup
Unknown - shit thats stupid
Unknown - sorry just really nervous

Unknown - Hello? Do I know you?

Unknown - shit! sorry its me virgil

Unknown - Virgil? I don't know a Virgil.

Virgil - wait this isnt spencer?

Unknown - No, my name is Logan.

Virgil - are you kidding me? fuck

Logan - I apologise, you seem to have texted the wrong number.

Virgil - yeah no shit sherlock

Logan - Sherlock? I told you my name was Logan.

Virgil - are you serious?
Virgil - dont answer that
Virgil - sorry i wont text you sgain

Logan - again*

16th May - 2:14am

Virgil - im fine pat dont worry

Logan - Third time now, my name is Logan.

Virgil - fuck i clicked on the wrong text

Logan - May I ask, why are you up at two am?

Virgil - why are you up at two am?

Logan - I was studying.

Virgil - oh
Virgil - yah procrastination sucks ass

Logan - I do not procrastinate.

Virgil - then why study at 2am when sleep is so much better?

Logan - That is none of your business.

Virgil - whatever

24th May - 5:09am

Virgil - just give me the homework answers princey!

Logan - Last time, my name is Logan.

Virgil - you again?

Logan - You imply that statement as if I texted you first.

Virgil - fuck im so tired

Logan - I'm going to safely assume you were up at night, correct?

Virgil - yeah so what

Logan - That is quite unhealthy for your body.

Virgil - well now your a hypocrite

Logan - Actually, I had a full eight hours sleep. Well, I planned to, my parents woke me up. They play their Mozart quite loudly.

Virgil -...what era are you from??

Logan - That is an odd question, I am in the same one as you.

Virgil - thats what someone from a different era says

Logan - My word - I live in the Holocene Epoch, of the Quaternary Period, in the Cenozoic Era. The same as you. And everyone else.

Virgil - your like smart and shit
Virgil - how old are you?

Logan - I know I am.
Logan - I am sixteen.

Virgil - no fucking way lair

Logan - Well, first of all I think you mean liar* And you used the wrong "your" - you should have used "you're".
Logan - And I am sixteen, why would I lie?

Virgil - sorry grammar nazi
Virgil - because you could be a sixty year old pedo jacking off to images of my ass

Logan - I do not know how to respond to that. All I can say is trust me, I am sixteen. And I am not a Nazi.

Virgil - whatever old man

30th May - 3:15pm

Logan - Where are you?
Logan - Sorry, wrong person.

Virgil - the tables have turned

Logan - Indeed they have.

Virgil - whore you looking for

Logan - Do you mean who're?

Virgil - yah

Logan - I am awaiting my Mothers arrival.

Virgil - are you waiting for her to pick you up in a chariot to be taken back to your castle?

Logan - No, I am not. She owns a Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe. And we most certainly do not live in a castle. It would be absurd.

Virgil - so your rich then?

Logan - My family are, yes.

Virgil - you live in a mansion

Logan - I wouldn't say mansion. It is quite a big house, though.

Virgil - how many bathrooms

Logan - What?

Virgil - how many bathrooms does your "big house" have?

Logan - Six.

Virgil - dude you live in a mansion

Logan - Ah, she is here. I must leave. Goodbye, Virgil.
Logan - And I do not live in a mansion.

Virgil - by dude
Virgil - and yah you do

3rd June - 3:46am

Logan - Salutations, Virgil.

Virgil - uh hey?

Logan - I assumed you would be awake.

Virgil - im always awake
Virgil - i never sleep
Virgil - im not human

Logan - That would be impossible. If you stay awake for a certain amount of days you begin to hallucinate, become sick, and die. And if you were not "human" you are implying you are an animal, and animals do not have the intelligence to use a phone, let alone send text messages.

Virgil - dude look up the definition of a joke
Virgil - and i dont have to be a animal
Virgil - im an alien
Virgil - its 2018 lemme be what i want to be

Logan - Joke: A thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.

Virgil - jesus
Virgil - learn how to not take everything i say so literally

Logan - You can identify as an alien all you want. It does not mean your DNA is any less human.

Virgil - damn dude youre crushing human-aliens dreams

Logan - I apologise to all of them if I must.
Logan - Also, your "your and you're's" are getting there.

Virgil - thanks
Virgil - whyd you text me anyway?

Logan - Would it kill you to use apostrophes?

Virgil - dont avoid the auesrikn
Virgil - question*

Logan - How did you mess up that badly?

Virgil - it's 4am gimme a break

Logan - Give me*

Virgil - im waiting for the answer to my question

Logan - I needed a distraction, okay?

Virgil - from what?

Logan - I did not realise I would be interrogated tonight.

Virgil - dude its just a question jeez
Virgil - whatever if youre gonna be rude ill go

Logan - No, no Virgil I apologise. Do not leave.
Logan - Virgil? I didn't mean to offend you.
Logan - I'm sorry.

3rd June - 9:00am

Virgil - shit sorry i put down my phone and fucking passed out
Virgil - are you alright?

Logan - I am fine. I need to go before I am late for school.

Virgil - k
Virgil - bye

7th June - 2:34pm

Virgil - HELLO VIRGIL'S NEW FRIEND LOGAN

Logan - Sorry, who is this?

Virgil - It is I, Roman!

Logan - Roman?

Virgil - ...Princey

Logan - Oh! You are this "Princey".

Virgil - Ooo~! Do you talk about me often??

Logan - He mentioned you once, and it was by mistake. He was meant to text you.

Virgil - Well that is disappointing

Logan - Why are you on Virgil's phone? And why are you texting me?

Virgil - I wanted to know who you were, of course! Your dear friend is currently with my loveable boyfriend, he needed to be calmed down after his panic attack

Logan - Panic attack? Is he okay?

Virgil - AWH! That is adorable
Virgil - and yes! He is quite alright! I would go into detail but it is not my place to say, I earned his trust and I shall not be losing it!
Virgil - although, I found it quite rude when he trusted you instantly, and trusted me a few months after we met!

Logan - He trusts me? How are you so sure?

Virgil - He doesn't reply to just anyone, you know! The only contacts he has in his phone are his dads, Patton's, mine and yours!
Virgil - he does delete mine quite frequently, though
Virgil - it is such a pain!
Virgil - he is coming back! I must leave! It was nice talking to the person who makes my emo nightmare smile! Goodbye, nerd!

Logan - I make him smile?
Logan - Goodbye, Roman.

7th June - 9:24pm

Virgil - fuck sorry dude

Logan - Excuse me?

Virgil - the prick princey
Virgil - he went on my phone
Virgil - im deleting his contact

Logan - Yes, he did.
Logan - That is quite amusing.

Virgil - yeah so uh forget what he said

Logan - Was he not telling the truth?

Virgil - he exaggerated
Virgil - youre a cool guy so its whatever

Logan - I'm a cool guy? I wouldn't say that.

Virgil - whatever dude

Logan - May I ask a question?

Virgil - you just did

Logan - May I ask you another?

Virgil - you did again

Logan - This is infuriating. May I ask you two questions?

Virgil - no

Logan - Why?

Virgil - because you already did

Logan - This is highly immature.

Virgil - idc im dying

Logan - idc? Is this another acronym?

Virgil - yeah youre not 16

Logan - Yes I am! I am just not that well-informed with internet slang, is all.

Virgil - i still dont believ you

Logan - Can I just ask you a question?

Virgil - fine shoot

Logan - Why do you not have your Mother in your contacts?

Virgil - because i dont now her number

Logan - Why don't you ask her?

Virgil - i will next time i visit her grave

Logan - Oh.
Logan - I apologise, I didn't know.

Virgil - kiddinf shes alive
Virgil - she was a serogate

Logan - surrogate*

Virgil - yeah that
Virgil - she lives in britisn so i havent seen her since i was a baby
Virgil - i have my two dads in my contacts though

Logan - You have two dads?

Virgil - yeah problem?

Logan - Not at all, I find it rather interesting. I am gay myself.
Logan - That is odd, I have never told that to anyone before.
Logan - I didn't meant to send it. Sorry if I creeped you out.

Virgil - why would it weird me out? im not straight either

Logan - Oh? What are you?

Virgil - it
Virgil - sorry
Virgil - i havent told anyone but princey and pat

Logan - That is alright. I understand if you don't want to tell me.

Virgil - thanks
Virgil - shit i gotta go
Virgil - ttyl dude

Logan - Ttyl? Please explain before you go!

Virgil - ttyl means talk to you later moron
Virgil - i rhought you were the smart one

Logan - I am book smart, not street smart.

Virgil - whatever bye

Logan - Goodbye.

11th June - 1:10pm

Virgil - what kind of car does yoda drive

Logan - Pardon?

Virgil - dude just read the text again

Logan - I am still confused.

Virgil - what kind of car
Virgil - does yoda from star wars
Virgil - drive

Logan - Well, it would depend on the types of cars the Star Wars universe has. Personally, I have not watched it, but I can Google search it for you if you desire?

Virgil - who even are you
Virgil - youre old enough to be my dad and youre confused over a dad joke

Logan - For the last time I am sixteen years old. Would you like me to find my birth certificate?

Virgil - how would i know if it was actually yours?
Virgil - it doesnt matter just say what

Logan - Why?

Virgil - oh my god

Logan - I apologise, I do not understand.

Virgil - what kind of car does yoda drive

Logan - I do not know.

Virgil - fucking finally
Virgil - he drives a toy-yoda

Logan - That is a type of car?
Logan - Oh.
Logan - I understand now.
Logan - Why must you burden me with a terrible pun?

Virgil - i didnt want to
Virgil - dad told me to send it to you

Logan - Dad? As in one of your parents?

Virgil - no i call patton dad

Logan - I have done a bit of research on teenagers.

Virgil - and you still try to tell me youre sixteen

Logan - And I came across an article on sarcasm. Although I am terrible at detecting it in real life, I am even worse over text so I am going to take a shot in the dark and ask was that a sarcastic response to my stupid question?

Virgil - ...

Logan - Virgil?

Virgil - it feels weird to call an old man adorable
Virgil - but shit you are adorable

Logan - I am flattered. I think.

Virgil - and no it wasnt sarcasm
Virgil - if wasnt a stupid question either
Virgil - it*
Virgil - i do call patton dad sometimes

Logan - Ah, right, well I'm sure that won't be confusing in the future.

Virgil - dude

Logan - Hm?

Virgil - you were sarcastic

Logan - Oh, it seems I was. This is an improvement.

Virgil - am i talking to a robot rn?

Logan - 'Rn'?

Virgil - right now

Logan - I don't see why you shorten these phrases into acronyms. And no, you are not. If you can't bare with me, try and go to a school filled with people who are very similar.

Virgil - shit
Virgil - private school?

Logan - Yes.

Virgil - full of snobs?

Logan - Yes.

Virgil - and annoying teachers?

Logan - Mostly. Some teachers are kinder than others, but it will not be long until they get tired of students using their kindness as a sign of weakness.

Virgil - jesus thats some hardcore shit

Logan - I shouldn't complain.

Virgil - dont say that
Virgil - even if people have it worse doesnt mean you cant complain about your problems

Logan - I meant I shouldn't complain because boarding school is worse.
Logan - But, thank you Virgil, I will heed your advice.

Virgil - you were sent to boarding school?

Logan - For a few years.

Virgil - were you to smart or something

Logan - No. I was kicked out.

Virgil - no fucking way
Virgil - you? kicked out of school?
Virgil - youre like really smart and shit
Virgil - i bet you hand in homework before youre given the homework
Virgil - why were you kicked out? they lost a really good student

Logan - Thank you, that is very kind of you to say. I was congratulated for being one of the most smartest boys in the school for the time period I went there. But, they do not like students who have frequent panic attacks.

Virgil - waif what?

Logan - They told me it was best I was to go home. For my mental health and such.

Virgil - aw dude that sucks
Virgil - im sorry

Logan - It is alright.
Logan - I didn't want to go in the first place, my parents only wanted to get rid of me.
Logan - Oh, I didn't mean to say that either.
Logan - Why can I not stop myself from saying things to you? I didn't want anyone to know that!
Logan - What are you doing to me?
Logan - I must go, I am sorry, Virgil.

Virgil - no lo wait
Virgil - i promise i wont tell anyone
Virgil - i swear
Virgil - would it make you feel any better if i told you something about myself?
Virgil - i have panic attacks to
Virgil - theres a teacher that looks weirdly similar to my mom

Logan - But you said you haven't seen your Mother since you were a child?

Virgil - i lied
Virgil - she was a surogate
Virgil - but she tried to take me back
Virgil - she kidnapped me for a few days
Virgil - its why i freak out whenever i see the teacher

Logan - That sounds horrible.
Logan - I suppose she was not an actual surrogate?

Virgil - she was a family friend
Virgil - she agreed to do it
Virgil - she couldnt handle her son being taken away from her
Virgil - it was stupid for my dads to ask her
Virgil - because now she's not safe around kids

Logan - That was unfair of them to do so, but she did agree. Some research and that issue might've been prevented. But if she was so keen on being a surrogate, who's to say she wouldn't have done the same for someone else? If your parents didn't ask first.

Virgil - i guess so
Virgil - sorry for ranting there
Virgil - i was honestly only meant to tell you i had panic attacks to
Virgil - guess we both cant help but tell each other random secrets, huh?

Logan - I guess we can't.
Logan - Do my eyes deceive me or is that a comma in your text?

Virgil - shut it nerd youre rubbing of on me

Logan - off* you're*

Virgil - suck my ass

Logan - I would rather not.

13th June - 2:05pm

Virgil - Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Logan - Another pun?
Logan - Hm, but your text has a capital letter.
Logan - This isn't Virgil.
Logan - Patton?

Virgil - Awh! You know my name!
Virgil - and you didn't know mine!? RUDE!

Logan - Roman?

Virgil - Sorry Kiddo! Roman can get a lil passionate sometimes! Haha!!

Logan - Understood.

Virgil - Wanna hear the punchline??

Logan - Sure.

Virgil - Great food, no atmosphere!!!

Logan - That is insufferable, although I am sure if scientists were ever to place a restaurant on the moon, that would be factually correct. Unless the food is terrible.

Virgil - Awh, Virge was right! You are adorable!

Logan - Virgil called me adorable?
Logan - Why are you texting me during school?

Virgil - Virgil's gone to the toilet so we stole his phone!

Logan - You are allowed your phone in lesson?

Virgil - yeah! Aren't you?

Logan - No, I am residing in the bathroom.

Virgil - Oh! That's cute, too!

Logan - How is this cute?

Virgil - because you went to the toilet so you could reply!

Logan - I was already here.

Virgil - riiiiiiiiight 👌🏻😁

Logan - If you have phones out in lesson, how does anyone learn anything?

Virgil - wellllll this is the only lesson you're allowed them! The teacher is a bit lenient, hehe 😸

Logan - Maybe you should report him, he doesn't sound like he's doing his job.

Virgil - Don't be so mature! This is a boring lesson anyway! Besides, it gives me time to make sure I look perfect!

Logan - Roman, what lesson is it?

Virgil - Chemistry - boring!!

Logan - Report the teacher. Chemistry is a lesson you will need. If he does not teach you anything, what is the point of going to the lesson?

Virgil - You'll be happy to hear nearly no one shows up! He usually sits at his desk all day fawning over adorable pictures of animals!
Virgil - SOMETIMES HE SHOWS US ADORABLE PUPPIES!!!!!!! 🐶 🐕 🐶

Logan - Patton, hand the phone back to Roman.

Virgil - Hello, Nerd!

Logan - Why are you saying hello? We were already talking.
Logan - Doesn't matter, listen. If he wanted to stare at animals all day, he should've worked at a zoo. If you do not report him, I will.

Virgil - good luck with that! You don't go to this school!

Logan - I need to go. And get off Virgil's phone. I am sure he doesn't like you invading his privacy.

14th June - 2:30am

Logan - Virgil?
Logan - Virgil, I need you to answer my question.
Logan - Virgil.

Virgil - jeez dud i was asleeo
Virgil - wat u want

Logan - Reading that was painful.
Logan - Anyway, is the name of your chemistry teacher Richard Love?

Virgil - ya
Virgil - how u now that

Logan - Research. Go back to sleep, Virgil.

Virgil - fine nigh

Logan - Goodnight.

16th June - 1:10pm

Virgil - dude what the hell?

Logan - Have I done something wrong?

Virgil - did you get my chemistry teacher fired?

Logan - Yes. Is that an issue?

Virgil - wtf?

Logan - I understand what that means. I hope you are not mad, Roman described him to be a slacking teacher in an important lesson, I spoke to your principal about it.

Virgil - i dont want to know how the hell you did that
Virgil - because to me youre still an old man
Virgil - who cares to much about my education

Logan - Are you mad?

Virgil - no i didnt like him im just freaked out

Logan - I apologise. Maybe I should've asked before I hacked into your school's system.

Virgil - you what now?
Virgil - dude! that could get you into serious trouble!

Logan - I know, but my parents would sort it out. I promise I am not a stalker, nor am I sixty years old. I am sixteen, and care a lot about you.

Virgil - why?

Logan - You are my friend.

Virgil - friends dont fire teachers for their education

Logan - They don't? Have I gone to far? I have never had a friend before, maybe I should've done more research. This is a fault on my behalf.

Virgil - dude
Virgil - youre one weird guy
Virgil - however old you are
Virgil - if youre a stalker or not
Virgil - thanks
Virgil - I appreciate it
Virgil - and dont research this kind of thing just follow your gut

Logan - I will take in your advice. May I ask one request from you?

Virgil - shoot

Logan - May I talk to Roman?

Virgil - you want to talk to roman?
Virgil - whatever you want dude
Virgil - HELLO MY FAVOURITE NERD!

Logan - Must you capitalise everything?

Virgil - WHERE IS THE FUN IF I DON'T?

Logan - Please stop.

Virgil - Fine! Only because I feel kind today!

Logan - You must not let Virgil see this conversation. Turn the screen away from him while we speak. This is something I need to do without his knowledge. Whether he hates me for it or not.

Virgil - ...ooookaaay
Virgil - Will this hurt him in anyway?

Logan - The worst it will do is freak him out.

Virgil - If you hurt my precious emo I will find and destroy you

Logan - I will not hurt him.

Virgil - Okay! What do you need, compadre?

Logan - Remember when we first talked? Virgil was experiencing a panic attack and your boyfriend helped him through it?

Virgil - Of course! I have a memory like an elephant!

Logan - Right. Why did he have the panic attack?

Virgil - Ah, I must stick with my word! I cannot tell you that, compadre!

Logan - I know why he had the panic attack. I should've worded the question better. What lesson were you in at the time?

Virgil - math!

Logan - Teachers name?

Virgil - Mr. Howard!

Logan - But that is a male teacher.

Virgil - Yes, did virgil tell you differently?
Virgil - OOOOOOOOOHHH!
Virgil - she's called Miss. Green!

Logan - Thank you, Roman.

Virgil - Anything for my favourite nerd!

Logan - Now, delete this conversation from his phone. I cannot let him know we talked about this.

Virgil - whatever you say!
Virgil - done!

Logan - Thank you. Now pay attention to the lesson.

17th June - 1:38am

Logan - Virgil?

Virgil - whats up?

Logan - What is your last name?

Virgil - and fhat is where i cross the line

Logan - That*
Logan - And do not take it the wrong way, you trust me, right?

Virgil - i want to say no
Virgil - but i do
Virgil - sanders is my last name

Logan - The same as your parents?

Virgil - yah
Virgil - we had to change it
Virgil - she put her last name down originally

Logan - Really? Hm. I suppose she must've wanted you during pregnancy.

Virgil - in the last month

Logan - Out of curiosity, what was your last name before Sanders?

Virgil - chapman
Virgil - it sucks
Virgil - whats your last name?
Virgil - logan?
Virgil - logan
Virgil - whered you go?

Logan - Oh.

Virgil - oh? are you trying to tell me your last name is oh?

Logan - Oh, oh no.

Virgil - youre starting to freak me out

Logan - Virgil, I'm so sorry.

Virgil - okay dude is there like a murderer or something in your house? are you about to die?

Logan - No, it's something else. Much worse.
Logan - Listen to me, okay? Go to sleep, tomorrow I need you to let me talk to Roman and Patton.

Virgil - why? whats going on?

Logan - I promise I'll tell you. Not right now, please go to sleep.

Virgil - fine
Virgil - swear on your life youll tell me?

Logan - Yes. I swear.

Virgil - okay i believe you
Virgil - night

Logan - Goodnight. Sleep well.

17th June - 10:40am

Virgil - GREETINGS NERD!
Virgil - you needed to talk to us?

Accept

Roman - "Hello Logan! I am honoured to be the first to hear your voice!"

Logan - "Not the time, Roman. Where is Virgil?"

Roman - "In lesson! Both me and Patton are hiding in the bathroom so we can talk to you!"

Logan - "You need to go home. Well, not you, you need to take Virgil home. You need to talk to his parents"

Roman - "Dear nerd of ours, you are going to need to explain why"

Logan - "Has it ever occurred to you why Miss. Green resembles Virgil's mother so similarly?"

Roman - "...no"

Logan - "Yes"

Roman - "no, no that-that cannot be true!"

Logan - "I am afraid it is, and you need to get him out of there, he might be in danger-"

??? - "what are you two boys doing in here?"

End call

Logan - Roman? When you can please text me. I am worried.

17th June - 12:00pm

Logan - Virgil? Are you there?
Logan - Roman? Patton? Please respond.

17th June - 2:28pm

Logan - I understand you might be busy right now, but one text will really ease my worries.
Logan - I apologise if I am being annoying.

17th June - 4:36pm

Logan - Virgil? Please can you respond?
Logan - this isn't like me but I am begging at this point

18th June - 7:46am

Logan - Virgil? Are you there?
Logan - I apologise if I am annoying you but I cant function knowing you might be hurt

18th June - 3:27pm

Logan - I will text you in a few days, hopefully reciving a response
Logan - look at me! I can barely type.

30th June - 3:00am

Virgil - logan?
Virgil - shit im so sorry
Virgil - when princey told me what you told him about her she walked into the room
Virgil - i just bolted straight home
Virgil - my dads didnt let me go on my phone incase she would get in contact with me
Virgil - they left it locked up in their room completely shut off
Virgil - im sorry i shouldve texted you sooner
Virgil - i hope you're okay
Virgil - i used an apostrophe for you

30th June - 5:07am

Logan - Virgil!
Logan - My word, you're alright! It's not your fault, I shouldn't have worried so much.
Logan - What about her? Are you safe?

Virgil - dude what the duck
Virgil - fuck*

Logan - What?

Virgil - youre an asshole

Logan - What did I do?!

Virgil - you didnt acknowledge the apostrophe i used for you

Logan - Virgil! Do not scare me like that! You had me worried again!
Logan - But yes, I am proud of your apostrophe usage.

Virgil - sweet
Virgil - and yah im fine we filed a restraining order n shit

Logan - You seem very calm.

Virgil - well i has awhile to deal with it
Virgil - im fine now
Virgil - missed you though

Logan - Understandable. And I missed you too.

Virgil - ew that made me feel warm inside
Virgil - dont do that dude

Logan - I apologise, Dear.

Virgil - woah
Virgil - call me that again

Logan - Call you what, Dear?

Virgil - this is the weirdest conversation ive ever had with someone
Virgil - but you make me feel weird
Virgil - good weird
Virgil - god sorry im acting really fucking creepy

Logan - No, not at all. If it is any consolation, I feel warm inside too.

Virgil - god youre sixty years old

Logan - I give up! You want proof I'm not sixty? Here!

Virgil - woah uh
Virgil - was not expecting that

Logan - I. Am. Not. Sixty. Years. Of. Age.

Virgil - alright! you got me!
Virgil - you do look 28 tho

Logan - I will scream.

Virgil - lmao calm down dude
Virgil - i dont wanna yeet you out of existence

Logan - What the fuck is a 'yeet'?

Virgil - you have so much to learn

—

MMMMM DID IT THAT WAS FUN

2:15am

Bonus: when they get together?

—

15th October - 2:31am

Virgil - dude i bet someone is being probed by aliens rn

Logan - It is half past two in the morning, Virgil.

Virgil - but dude aliens

Logan - Virgil, please go to sleep.

Virgil - but aliens

Logan - I will punch you so hard you lose consciousness.

Virgil - you dont know where i live

Logan - As a matter of fact I do. When I did my research into your mother I stumbled upon your address. I can and will plan out the perfect attack to kill you in your sleep if you mention aliens one more time.

Virgil - you may not be sixty years old

Logan - My word.

Virgil - but you act like it
Virgil - you can kill me now
Virgil - im ready
Virgil - logan dude but like
Virgil - ghosts

Logan - Virgil, you do not understand how much I want to shut you up right now.

Virgil - oh? how would you do it?

Logan - Kiss you so hard you forget how to breathe.

Virgil -..........................
Virgil - ........................................................................................................................................................................................................
Virgil - dude

Logan - Call me dude one more time.

Virgil - dude

Logan - I am blocking you.

Virgil - no wait i actually wanted to ask you something
Virgil - i was procrastinating

Logan - Go ahead.

Virgil -.......llamas are pretty weird

Logan - Virgil, we have known each other for months now, you can tell me what is bothering you.

Virgil - fine
Virgil - but if you ignore me after this i will ignore you harder

Logan - I doubt I will ignore you. Try me.

Virgil - i like you

Logan - I like you, too.

Virgil - not in a friend way you moron
Virgil - romantically

Logan - I know.

Virgil - oh..
Virgil - ohhh....
Virgil - oh

Logan - Why do you think I call you Dear? It took me awhile to realise this, I suppose I am more confident over text, in real life I am sure I would be a blushing mess.
Logan - Well, I currently am a blushing mess, but that is besides the point.

Virgil - you dont even know what i look like

Logan - I will find you beautiful regardless.
Logan - I guess Roman has rubbed off on me quite a bit. I am sure he would swoon seeing me reply with that, but you are incorrect - when I hacked into your school system I came across the photo record and I saw your face. I had already fallen for your personality, your pure, unadulterated beauty was a bonus.

Virgil - can i join the blushing mess club

Logan - We are open for one more member.

Virgil - so...youre gay, im attracted to men but like also everything else sometimes i want dick sometimes i dont and on a good day im not a boy or a girl

Logan - Each of those have labels you could list out instead.

Virgil - eh who needs labels

Logan - Also, I am not gay.

Virgil - what? yeah you are

Logan - Technically I am not. Not currently, anyway.

Virgil - not currently?
Virgil - wait
Virgil - please let this be true
Virgil - are you gender fluid?

Logan - I am, yes.

Virgil - oh my god

Logan - Is this a problem?

Virgil - my heart cant handle this
Virgil - youre a girl
Virgil - right now
Virgil - i cant
Virgil - i feel so fucking weird saying this
Virgil - compliments are not my jazz
Virgil - but you are fucking adorable
Virgil - im going insane rn

Logan - Please, my cheeks feel like they are on fire.

Virgil - mmmmmmmmyourepreciousmmmmmmmm
Virgil - you didnt seen that anyway
Virgil - wanna date?

Logan - Smooth, like butter.

Virgil - i cant believe its not butter

Logan - Yes, I want to be your girlfriend. But I will also be your boyfriend, is that alright with you?

Virgil - fuck yeah you moron
Virgil - sometimes you wont even have a boyfriend or girlfriend
Virgil - because i will be neither

Logan - This is sure to be a confusing relationship to us and anyone else.

Virgil - which makes it better

Logan - Indeed it does. Now we are in a romantic relationship, I forbid you from calling me dude.

Virgil - kitten why

Logan - My stomach felt like it flipped. How is that even possible.

Virgil - power of romance kitten

Logan - Arguably the best power in the world.

—

2:50am