4:13pm

Trigger warning: depression

Can't wait for the twenty seventhhhhh

Au
—

Roman was ungrateful

He never said thank you when someone gave him a gift, he would always throw them into storage and never look at them again. He would pout, he would wail, he would shove aside everything given to him. Other parents hated Roman - but the kids loved him so much, so when Roman invited everyone from school to his birthdays, or random parties throughout the year, they couldn't say no, otherwise their child would throw a tantrum.

His parties were amazing, especially in such a big house, every one had a different theme, lots of activities to keep both the children and the adults entertained. Roman's parents prided themselves each time, for the parents always tell them they didn't think anyone could create a better party than the last, yet they do so every time. By the end, Roman had stacks of presents, but he kicked them away, refusing to open any of them. In the end, parents bought small, shitty gifts, but it didn't change much - Roman never ripped the rapping paper off any of them, not even one.

Roman was a nuisance

Teachers despised him. Every lesson they never managed to settle him down. He creates havoc in the class, sometimes students found it amusing, other times they just wanted him to shut up. He would rip pages from his book and throw them around the class, he would snap pens and pencils, push other kid's belongings off of the table, sometimes if he was extra passionate, he would throw chairs and flip tables. More times than anyone could count his parents were brought in, no matter how much they ground him, give him detention, take away rewards and cut off his allowance, his behaviour insists.

In the end, they gave up, and sent him to a room on his own where he was taught lessons by the head master. He and Roman spent all day in that same, small room. Sometimes Roman was silent, sometimes he would flip out, and scream, and bang on walls. Everyday staff rooms were filled with insults towards the boy - wondering why the hell the head teacher hasn't expelled the disaster of a boy already.

Roman was manipulative

Every Friday his bag would be filled too the brim with different, expensive gifts, and whoever hung out with him the most during the week were given these toys and devices. Each morning the eight and nine year old kids would flock around the boy who would shove aside the children that didn't spend time with him, and instead focus on the ones who focused on him.

Throughout middle school Roman's group of friends grew and grew until the majority of the children in his grade were his friend. During break time and lunch, they'd all sit on the field, Roman in the middle, sucking up their attention like a drink through a straw. Teachers couldn't really do much, and the children who weren't his friends, the ones who didn't care about his gifts, had to play on the concrete, for if they tried to play on the field Roman's friends would call out mocking names and bully them relentlessly for their own entertainment.

Roman was a narcissist

Since moving to middle school all he ever talked about was himself. He would brag about his riches, the fact he had an entire floor to himself in his house - and he had other houses spread across in different countries. Just being in the near vicinity of him you could hear him babbling about how much money he had, and the fact he always had the latest technology.

After school he always invited his large group of friends over his house, allowing them to play on his arcade machines, watch movies in his theatre, sometimes they had pool parties, either indoor our outdoor, depending on the time of year. And the parties. Oh the parties! They were to die for, every type of alcohol you could ever imagine was always stocked up high for everyone to drink and get wasted on - upstairs doors had signs on them, indicating which ones they could have sex in, and the surround-sound speakers made everyone feel alive with the music that blared through the house. He lived quite far from neighbours, so they never gained any noise complaints.

Every day after the parties, the majority of students were talking about it - and Roman couldn't wipe that smug grin off his face even if he wanted to.

Roman was cocky

He did whatever he wanted whenever he wanted without thinking of the consequences for himself, or anyone around him. That had landed him in a cell quite a few times, but his parents always bailed him out - so, he never stopped. He didn't think anything bad would ever happen to him, the world revolved around him, nothing could ever get in his way. When his mind was set on something, he would have it. Many times he had arrived to school with a cast around his arm, leg, or bruises and scars that weren't there before the weekend.

No one really had to ask around to find out what he did to obtain such injuries, the word was spread before Roman even came in. The school had a newspaper, and he was always on the front page, either about his new stunt, or stupid activity that ended him in hospital, in a cell, or both. Sometimes neither happened, but that was on a rare occasion, and those activities weren't nearly as exciting, in Roman's and everyone's opinion.

Roman was everyone's main source of entertainment, whether it be from them hanging out with him when he went out and did stupid shit, or the ridicule they'd send his way when he wasn't watching, or he couldn't hear. To Roman, he was the sun, and everyone else were the planets, never leaving, always by his side like flocks of sheep.

Roman was dull

Everyone knew everything about Roman, he didn't have any secrets, and would answer any question anyone would ever ask him. For that reason, he was...boring. Of course, he could be amusing, entertaining, but other than his riches and popularity, he was nothing. Not many people paid attention to that, though - when they got bored of him, they all had their own friends to go to, but when they got bored, it only lasted till the next day where Roman did something even more outrageous they just had to hang out with him and know every little detail of his spell.

Nothing could keep people away for too long - only a few students hated him enough they never wanted to even glance in his direction, but Roman didn't pay attention to those, which they were grateful for, he just stayed with his clique; that consisted of the majority of the school, and carried on forward, never looking back.

Roman was-

"Just stop"

...

Roman was sentient, apparently. What's gotten into you now, huh? I try and recite a story, yet here you are, Mr. Popular, ruining my monologue!

...

Oh, here we go with the silent treatment

...

"Is that really all you think of me? Ungrateful? A nuisance? Manipulating? Narcissistic? Cocky? Dull?"

Roman, that's how everyone things of you! You can't be angry at me for speaking the truth. Don't shoot the messenger, and all that.

...

"But you know that's not just it.."

...

I do. I'm sorry. How're you feeling?

"Like shit. All they want is my money, why do I even try? Why did I try to begin with? I wasn't ungrateful. I just wanted my parents, not their gifts, all I ever wanted was their love, I thought shoving away the presents would show that"

You didn't speak to them, it wasn't entirely their fault

...

Don't scoff at me.

"What else do you want me to do!? Not their fault? They had a child, yet they would rather spend their evenings at a fancy restaurant, or abroad, then with their son! And when they did invite me on their vacations, it was only because the media was up their ass, asking about me, why I was never seen with them. Camera shy my ass, they don't want me!"

Oh, Christ, Roman don't cry, look, I'm sorry, okay?

"I know...I know"

...

"I'm sorry, too, I didn't mean to explode at you...you're my only friend, I don't want to lose you"

Oh, Roman, when will you learn? I'm not your friend-

"You can't be friends with yourself" Roman sighed, staring at the wall his bed was pressed up against. Tears wetted the pillow beneath his head, but he didn't care, more rolled down his face, across the bridge of his nose, soaking against his left cheek. He sniffled, sobbed into his hand, and cried, cried, and cried. All alone. Alone in his big house. His friends had left, it was nearing one am, and he needed to do something, anything to get his mind off of things.

He thought about spray painting something, he hadn't pulled that stunt in awhile, but when he stood up to grab his boots he collapsed to the ground, gasping in breaths of air while sobs pushed out passed. He couldn't be more grateful he was home alone. Or could he? Matter of fact, he would prefer if his parents were here, he wanted to talk to them, he was right, it wasn't their fault, not entirely, they would understand if he just talked, but they were away, and he didn't want to ruin their night.

What else could he possibly do? Go back to bed? No, he'd be punished with his thoughts again - go downstairs and get some food? Seemed like the easier option. He made himself a sandwich, put on a film, and watched the screen as fat tears rolled down his cheeks, landing on the plate resting in his lap as he bit, chewed, and swallowed the food he softly gripped in his hands.

This was his secret. This right here. His depression. His loneliness. How he truly felt. He lied, he does have secrets, but he didn't lie about not telling everyone everything - people just asked the wrong questions. Maybe one day he'll tell someone, maybe in the moment he'd lie, keep it to himself.

Because the longer he kept it a secret, the longer he could he could last. Fearful that one day, one day...

He'll give up.

Finishing his food, he laid down on the couch, and after his depressive episode, he passed out.

Roman was all of those things, ungrateful, a nuisance, manipulative, narcissistic, cocky, and dull. But underneath it all, he was much more.

Roman was alone,

Roman was depressed,

Roman was...

—

5:16pm