THIRTEEN

Draco drifted in and out of sleep, feeling as though his life was over. His mind was dead, no thoughts racing through like they normally did. Someone slept uneasily by his numb hand, giving him a small sense of security.

"Zinnia." He whispered, gently lifting his hand above the bed. She stirred, lifting her head up, her face swollen from salty tears. The forgotten emotion of guilt filled his body, overwhelming his otherwise empty head.

"Draco." She mumbled, sitting closer to his head. She cupped her hands on his cheeks, cautiously moving so their noses were touching in a caring way. A gross sob and moan of pain escaped Draco's lips, Zinnia's heart breaking into even more pieces.

"I don't wanna do this anymore," Draco began to muster between loud sobs, his efforts to keep quiet failing. "I can't. I'm too weak Zinnia, I'm too weak for anyone. I'm conflicted, you hate me, yet I love you. I can't do this, any of this. It's too much pressure, far too much."

"Draco, honey, please." Zinnia begged, running her thumbs under his eyes to keep the tears from pooling slightly in his hollowed cheeks. "I love you." She pleaded, planting a kiss on his lips. He could feel relief starting implant itself in his pool of emotions, love also joining the mix. But guilt, sorrow, sadness, anger, and terror still consumed him.

"How? How can you-you love me-me?" Draco stuttered out between hyperventilating breaths, Zinnia enveloping him into her arms. He cried for many slow minutes, feeling as though hours had gone by. Neither spoke, just stayed with each other, making the most of each others presence.

"I can love you because you don't have a choice. You didn't choose this, you wouldn't have tried to take yourself away from me if you had a choice." Zinnia reassured, moving him up to a sitting position. She crossed her legs, moving his body to fit into hers. He allowed this to happen, not wanting to resist her attempts to comfortably make him feel loved.

Once situated, Draco melted into her arms. Both had stopped crying, their minds un-fogging from the earlier events. "I can't stay here." Draco bluntly stated, wanting to get up and walk around. He knew he was weak, but it would be worth it to get out. Get some fresh air, some Sun, his guitar, and the girl he's been hopelessly falling in love with.

"Well Dray, where do you wanna go?" Zinnia asked, trying to make it sound as normal as possible. Both simultaneously realized that normality will be the best way to help with this bump in the road. Fake it till you make it really had truth behind it.

Zinnia wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands traveling around his upper body. Draco smiled slightly, leaning his head back so he could kiss her neck. They acted like normal teenagers, young and in love. "Outside, away from the students though. Some where no one would find us." Draco fantasized, the depressing feelings briefly subsiding.

"I know where. We need to move fast, classes end in a half hour." Zinnia informed him, giving him a long kiss before getting up. Hand outreached, she helped him up. The dark mark on his arm was covered by thick, white bandages.

"I can hear people, just as well." Draco pointed out, leaning half his weight onto his girlfriend. Zinnia planned to take him to the kitchens first, getting a basket of food for their happy date. To lighten the mood, the kick start things getting better.

"Professor Snape visited while you were still unconscious. He said the students all know about your.. attempt on things. Many were more concerned than anything. We can wait till the halls clear?" She suggested, leaning him against the door frame before the stairs leading to the main halls. Draco shook his head, trying to push himself from the frame, only to collapse forward.

"I can't even walk. I'm pathetic." Draco laughed, leaning back on Zinnia for support. "We can go out there, if anyone says anything they say something or another. I don't know what I'm saying anymore."

Zinnia tried to keep the sympathetic look from her face, knowing it would only upset him more. He just laughed, mentally cursing himself for being so wrong. "Let's go then. It's okay." She half reassured, knowing nothing was working.

Together with Draco's arm over her shoulder, they navigated the crowded hallways of Hogwarts. No one spoke to them, they only received looks of sympathy and regret. Luna gave them a smile, reaching her arm out a little before drawing it back in fear. The kitchens weren't too far from their starting point, but sneaking in was difficult.

Draco remained in the hallway, sat up against a wall. Those who walked by tried to avoid him like the plague, weighing on his already aching heart. Some went out of their way to 'accidentally' hit him in the face with a book bag, acting as though they were truly sorry. Those were Slytherins, particularly friends of Pansy Parkinson.

Zinnia returned a few minutes later, a basket in her arms. "Ready hon?" She asked, kneeling down to kiss her hurting boyfriend. Pansy walked by, a scream erupting from her body as she saw the two.

"Keep kissing the beast, you'll realize what you really missed. If, you know, you live that long." She sneered, taking a moment from her walk to class to waste oxygen. Her eyes drifted to the bandage around her exes arm, a smirk crossing her face.

"Well, you can go now Pansy. And please, when you're in Herbology class," Zinnia began, hoisting Draco up to a standing position. He loosely took the picnic basket from her, not wanting her to put more strain on herself than needed. "Make sure you take care of those plants to replace the oxygen you wasted by stopping."

Draco struggled to keep up with his girlfriend, her legs moving far to fast for his aching body to keep up. Neither spoke until they reached the lake many minutes later. Zinnia slowed down once she realized the struggle the platinum blonde teen was having keeping up.

Gasping for air, Draco laid down on the blanket Zinnia had placed down moments earlier. "I love you, you know that?" He gasped, genuinely smiling for the first time in forever. He felt real happiness being out in the Sun, out of the dungeons of what was now Hell.

"Course I know that. I love you too." Zinnia grinned, kissing him softly. Draco's hands traveled to her waist, her hands on his chest as she leaned over him. All physical pain that he had been feeling left his mind for the time their bodies intertwined and their lips sealed over each other.

They laid together for nearly an hour before breaking into the food. They didn't speak while eating, just moved into the shade of a large oak tree. The lake glistened, the cold air biting at their skin. Nothing mattered, they had body heat and the previous nights clothes to keep them warm.

"I brought you your guitar." Zinnia told him when he put the plate away, finishing most of his food. His green eyes momentarily flashed with excitement, a look Zinnia thought she would never see.

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any better." He remarked, wincing as he took the keychain from her open hand. With the enchantment, the guitar became it's normal form. It had felt like years since he had held the saving instrument in his hands.

"I saw you writing something the other day, what was it?" Zinnia asked, begging him with her eyes. Draco chuckled a little, the smile fading as the pained memories came back. They could only stay at bay for so long.

"I'll hum and play the chords, but no spoilers to the lyrics." Draco told her, forcing himself to give her a weak smile. Zinnia nodded, noticing how upset he was becoming. It was best to just let him play and get his emotion out safely, not returning the nights events.

Zinnia laid back down, closing her eyes. Her head rested on his extended leg, listening intently to what the song had so far. It was happy, moving, truly beautiful. It took every ounce of willpower for Draco not to break into tears, his emotions starting to consume him once again. He had his music and he had his girlfriend, it was the only thing keeping him sane, keeping him stable. Draco couldn't have wished for more at that moment.