People came in daily to this same old hospital room. He saw them every day, his mother, his father, his sister and friends all came daily to say hello to him. To ask him how he was doing, but they all knew the answer to that. Every day his mother would try to not cry from seeing her only son stuck in bed who was said to die within the year. Every day his father and sister would reassure her that Yuuri would get better, but that was a lie. Today, Yuuri was trapped in a hospital bed, like every other day in that past year, listening to the beeping sound of his heart monitor by his side.

Yuuri was born with a weak heart, but even though he was always a sickly child, he risked his health conditions to be on the ice. It was dumb, that's what most people said. Saying that Yuuri was an idiot to dare to fall in love with skating, and because of it, he was here, stuck in bed and destined to die. Either way, it didn't matter to Yuuri, he knew he was going to die the moment he stepped onto the ice, perhaps that's why he went on it in the first place. A prayer and a wish to die. But Yuuri found reason to live with the ice, it gave him hope, that perhaps, maybe, even with the slimmest chances, Yuuri would live. The ice became Yuuri's safe haven. Until it brought Yuuri's entire fucking world down to its knees.

Maybe things would have been different, Yuuri thought to himself as he listened to the humming of the air-conditioning blowing in the back of his room, if I wasn't an idiot then.

___

They shared each other's smiles. Embracing in each other's warmth. Relishing each other's hugs and kisses. Together they created a world with only them in it. Their beautifully crafted world that was as gorgeous as stained glass, yet just as fragile as if one breath would shatter it all. Yuuri knew that. And he was the one who'd shatter it. Break it. Stomp on it. Before their entire world crashed down on them.

Yuuri had enough decency to do that at least. He couldn't allow Viktor to continue chasing. To continue chasing after Yuuri.

Once Yuuri had put on his jacket, Yuuri stepped towards Viktor, staring directly at his coach, eye to eye.

"Viktor," Yuuri began, "let's end this."

Yuuri stared at his coach who was trembling at Yuuri's words. Viktor's eyes began to form tears, allowing the droplets fall off his face and onto the ground. Yuuri helplessly watched his coach from a meter's distance, seeing every tear drop from Viktor's eyes. How Yuuri desperately wanted to touch Viktor, to wipe away the pain that was coming from his eyes, yet didn't.

"Please forget about me Viktor," Yuuri added, the words left a foul taste in his mouth. Viktor only cried more from Yuuri's words, allowing himself to break down and collapse to his knees in front of Yuuri. Yuuri wanted to hug Viktor, to soothe the man's agony and sadness, to tell Viktor he wasn't serious, but didn't. Instead, Yuuri stuffed his hands into his pockets, turned around and walked. And walked. And walked. And walked. Then broke into a run. Running away from Viktor, afraid of Viktor seeing the tears that were running down Yuuri's face.

I'm sorry.

Yuuri was an idiot. He was a fool to fall in love with skating, but he was a bigger idiot to fall in love with Viktor.

___

Viktor. Yuuri clenched his hand into a tight fist, a handful of the thin blankets stuffed inside his fist as well. I want to see you again. Yuuri could feel himself wanting to cry, the force of tears building up inside of him.

Suddenly a voice echoed into Yuuri's thoughts, "Knock, knock," a person singsonged on the other side of the hospital door.

"Come in," Yuuri sat upright, plastering a wobbly smile on his face as the door opened. Out from the door came his mother, his father, his sister and his best friend, Phichit.

"How are you Yuuri?" his mother asked a happy smile on her face that was struggling to hide her sadness.

"I'm fine," Yuuri replied, returning his mother's same smile for extra reassurance.

"Yuuri!" Phichit tackled Yuuri, squeezing him tightly.

"Please Phichit, I can't breathe!" Yuuri choked out within Phichit's tight lock.

With an outstretched hand, Phichit passed the string that he was holding to Yuuri,"I brought you a balloon." As Yuuri's eyes followed the trail of string at the end of it there indeed was a bright red balloon, floating in the air, decorated with the letters that spelled out Get Well Soon!

"Here," his sister handed Yuuri a bouquet of flowers, it had become some sort of tradition to bring Yuuri flowers every day. However, without a spot to place them, the flowers always ended up on his blanket the entire day until a nurse came during the night to take them away. Yuuri slightly wondered if his sister had realized it yet, she probably had, though. The flowers were probably some hope to know that Yuuri was still living.

Eventually, everyone left around the evening, leaving Yuuri alone in the comfort of the empty hospital room. Just him, the balloon, the bouquet of flowers, and the heart rate monitor beside him. The time Yuuri spent with his visitors soothed his aching heart ever so slightly, it could never affect the complete emptiness he felt inside, though. Yuuri placed his head onto a pillow, but he knew he'd never sleep, he'd have to either cry himself to sleep or stay awake. They were both the same to him, he was living a nightmare either way. Suddenly, another knock came from the door, and a blonde headed boy popped his head into the hospital room, Yuri.

"Yuri?" Yuuri pulled himself upright again, resting his back on the bed frame as the younger boy walked towards him.

"I've got a letter for you," Yuri said, his voice and eyes both dead as he outstretched his hand that was holding a sealed white envelope.

"Uh... T-Thank you," Yuuri's hands trembled as he took the letter from Yuri.

"Yeah. Get well soon," Yuri said, facing his back towards Yuuri. Yuuri had heard those words too much nowadays. Slowly, Yuuri's eyes followed the skater who briskly exited the room as fast as he had entered it. As Yuuri heard the door click shut, his eyes stared at the envelope that Yuri had handed to him. Flipping the white envelope over, on the back was inscribed a name that made Yuuri want to cry, faint and scream at the same time. Yuuri's hands trembled as he ran his fingers over the cursive writing.

From Viktor.

To Yuuri.

Ripping the envelope open, barely missing in cutting the actual letter, he felt tears sliding off his face as he saw the all too familiar cursive handwriting and the occasion ink smudge on the paper that appeared to be from Viktor moving his hand over the ink as he wrote. Yuuri felt his heart being ripped out of him from the mere look of his name on parchment.

___

The room was dark and empty, the only person in it being Viktor, trapped in a hospital bed at the back of the room. He hated it. How he longed to see Yuuri, but he knew all too well it was too late for that. So, with a steady heart, a pen and paper in hand. Viktor wrote instead.

Yuuri,

I write to you in the bed of the hospital. I am fine, you do not need to worry if you are. I hope you've been well. I still remember the day clearly when I last saw you. The day when you said you were leaving me. I wish I could hate you for leaving, but I can't no matter how hard I try. Still, I have a lot of regrets from that day.

I regret not trying to stop you from running away.

I regret never telling you how I felt.

I regret not making you stay.

I wish that I could have done everything over again. But I can't. I know I can't. The very least, I wish I could see your face one more time before I leave.

You probably haven't heard yet, so I'll tell you myself, I'm dying.

It's not a significant matter, I've known for a long time that I was soon said to die. I am not afraid of death. Still, I tried to keep it closed from the public to make sure you didn't hear.

You see, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness far before I became your coach, but even knowing this I came to coach you.

I wanted to live the rest of my days with you. It was the best decision of my life, I saw a world that was beautiful with you in it. But when you left without a word...

I miss you a lot Yuuri...

My time here is ending soon.

Live a happy life with a person better than me, make more memories when I'm gone. You deserve someone who can express their love for you better than I can, who can make you smile rather than cry. I hope whoever it is, they will bring you happiness, life and love, something I could never give.

If it hurts you, you can forget me, but do not cry.

Please be happy for me. I want you to live a happy life with someone else, as did I with you.

I am happy that I got to meet you Yuuri.

I love you, Yuuri.

Do you love me?

Viktor

A tear dropped onto the paper, leaving a blotchy stain overtop of his last words, making them morphed and deformed. He set the pen down, pushing the letter aside onto a stack of never-opened envelopes all labelled:

To Yuuri.

All unsent mail. It was okay though, he'd have time to talk to Yuuri another day. Someday. Somewhere. He'd see Yuuri again.

The room was cold and empty. Nobody was there. No person. No breath. The untouched letters still laid in the hospital room. There was nobody to blame, but Viktor for being a fool, for chasing after a skater to coach. Yuuri was the one who brought colour to Viktor's world. Made it beautiful and bright. Now it was all fading. Falling. Viktor's world was crumbling. All because he was an idiot, to fall in love with Yuuri.

___

Yuuri felt his face heating up, the burning tears already running down his face. He clutched the letter tightly, holding it to his chest as if it was his own lifeline and it was.

Do you love me? Yuuri could hear Viktor's voice ringing in his ears.

"O-of cour-course..." Yuuri choked out, tears rolling off his chin, "I'd be an idiot not to..."