Yeri [girl with rounder cheeks] (Red Velvet)

Kai [The "normal" boy] (EXO)

Jong-dae [Policeman] (EXO)

🍋

I hated goodbyes more than anything. Maybe it was because the last time it hadn't ended well and it had left me with suspense. And now it just worried me even more because I wasn't sure if I would see my family again. I just couldn't get over the fact that the Mafia knew about me and about all the other important information that had been stored on my phone.

And now I had to kiss and hug my loved one's farewell, though they reassured me that my next holidays would be soon and then we would all meet again.

Although I felt relaxed as my mother ran her fingers through my hair, the way my father had pulled me in a big and tight hug, and the jokes Theodor and Helen made, including Evelyn's snarky remarks, it just wasn't the same goodbye as last time. It had hurt more. But I smiled, tried my best to laugh rather than cry. My mother had noticed, I knew that by the way she had put her hand around mine and had tightened it gently.

I couldn't tell her why I felt so much pain at that moment. I just wasn't able to risk the chance of putting them in danger. I felt ashamed of the fact that I who had hated thugs and tried with her best to avoid shady situations now managed to get herself involved with Bangtan. And so I stayed silent, wished them all health and good luck, and left just like that, with the worst feeling in my stomach and stinging eyes.

Gosh. Why must I be this weak?

🍋

I was greeted by the silent and darkened apartment as I had unlocked and opened the front door. A foreign but somehow at the same time familiar smell hit my nose and I breathed it in deeply. It would take some time to get used to my second home again. Then I set down my suitcase and stretched my arms out while I was letting out a loud yawn. It had been a three-hour bus tour but it was still pretty tiring. Thank God I had my Music and online stories with me to keep me busy. Sighing, I let my arms fall at my sides again and then aimed for the fridge. The shelves were pretty much empty and the little vegetables I hadn't eaten were mushy and generally didn't look that good anymore. I wasn't that picky when it came down to food but the supermarket products were generally doomed for chemicals and without any real flavor, so eating them in this state was fairly unappetizing.

But I was very proud of myself for the fact that besides the small fraction of vegetables I had only left a little bit of milk and butter. I wouldn't have even guessed to come this close to my wanted aim of eating all the food before going away for one and a half weeks. For doing it the first time, this was pretty damn good. While applauding internally for my great sense of saving and planning, I closed the fridge and searched for my shopping bag. I decided to do a small esculent purchase since I had work the next morning and I knew I would be too lazy to do it in the afternoon.

After stepping outside again, I locked the door behind me and slid my keys in the left pocket of my winter jacket. Only then I had noticed the mailbox next to my front door which seemed pretty full with the newspaper since the corner of the paper had peeked out of the rather thin line of a slit. I would take out my mail after shopping.

I didn't need much; vegetables, milk products, meat and another big package of rice. After setting down all the ingredients on the conveyer, I waited patiently for my turn since there was another girl in front of me, buying a box full of Ramen. Didn't people call them the student's lifesaver? Or gangster's food. The fairy had bought Ramen as well. That thought didn't sit well with me. I had tried not to live in that traumatic event but sometimes I did see the images before my eyes.

The girl smiled at me, reacting to my long-lasting staring. I hadn't even noticed that I had watched her for so long since I had been carried away by that scary past occurrences.

She must have been my age with cheeks, glowing and kind eyes, and a sweet smile on her small pinkish lips. The Korean girl looked like a celebrity with those soft features and glowing skin. She had put her light brown colored hair in a bun though there were some fringy strands of hair that couldn't be tamed by the pink crunchy.

I also smiled at her though it was very quick to die down since deep down I didn't feel that happy to be reminded of Bangtan's existence.

After she had paid for the Ramen she grabbed the big box with ease and then left the supermarket. My eyes lingered a while on the automatic sliding door. I was only brought back in reality when the cashier spoke to me, notifying me about the cost of my purchase. I slid my wallet out of my winter jacket's right pocket to pay. Then I quickly placed all the food in my shopping bag and exited the supermarket with a quiet goodbye.

"Yes, she's still inside."

I immediately stopped in my tracks as my ears had caught on to those words. I turned to my left to see the girl from before crouching down, her phone held to her left ear. She seemed startled when she had noticed my presence. Almost immediately she stood up, her phone on her side. What was her deal?

But then she smiled again, her lips stretching awkwardly up though I could sense her internal struggle that moment. I didn't say anything and only stared at her for a moment. She was suspicious, that was for sure but I couldn't just ask her what she was up to.

'She's still inside.'

I looked through the glass door of the supermarket and noticed another woman standing at the conveyer, her messy and dark hair hiding her profile.

The girl had meant her probably.

Whoever she was and with whom she had talked over the phone wasn't my business. However, if she would have attacked someone or shown anything illegal I could have done something. It was just not right to call her out, asking her what she meant with those words with such a high risk of being everything else but a thug. So playing the clueless civilian that I was or should have been I retreated from the weird scene and continued my destined way home. I minded all the noise while walking but never once turned around to check my surroundings.

Paranoia—I couldn't let it win over me. Not this time.

And yet I had turned around in the end, my eyes fixating the supermarket from the bigger distance. The girl with the carton still stood next to the exit. I shook as someone suddenly bumped into me, the unpredictable contact making my shopping bag fall out of my grip. My heartbeat quickened because of the abrupt situation and for a moment I imagined Channie and D.O standing in front of me, ready to pull the trigger of their silver gun.

"Excuse me," a kind male voice apologized as I crouched down and didn't spare the stranger any look as I grabbed my bag and straightened up again. I thought he would have left by now, however, the male stood before me, his brown eyes fixating me when I finally decided to face him.

He was the most normal-looking guy I had met in a long time. A nice jean jacket, no contact lenses, brown colored hair, and gentle expression on his face; he was so much different compared to those thugs I had encountered.

And yet, I didn't think of him as...normal.

"It's okay," I quickly reassured him and continued walking. Not once did I look back to the supermarket although I felt as if I should.

'Don't look back,' I thought. 'Don't get involved.'

However, the woman with messy black hair never left my brain.

🍋

"So how was your family time?" Joo-hyun asked me after closing the front door, turning around the small board that showed the 'closed' sign to all the people that passed by the bakery.

"It was great! I missed spending time with my parents and my siblings."

"You've got three siblings, right? Wasn't it getting annoying when you were still living with them?"

"Oh no, if anything I think they were the ones fed up by me. My older brother and sister are very kind-hearted and patient. My little sister and I...well, that's another story."

"You were a troublemaker? Now if that isn't shocking," Joo-hyun teased.

"Is it? I don't think I've changed much since then."

"It would be easier if you had," she simply stated. Making her way to the small round tables, she cleaned the surface with a wet cloth. What was up with that reply?

"You can take home as many pastries as you'd like," she then suggested which I answered with a nod and a quiet "thank you".

She looked at me for a moment, a wry smile on her lips before she continued cleaning. I cautiously put two different flavored cake pieces and one small pan in a paper bag. What I loved about this bakery was that nothing went to waste. Joo-hyun always made sure to either let me and my few coworkers take the lingering goods that wouldn't be good the next day or she would give it to the last customers ten minutes before closing as gifts. I had also seen her donate them to homeless people before.

"Have you heard?" My boss suddenly questioned me.

"Have heard about what?" I asked back, catching her dark eyes with mine. She abruptly stopped moving the washcloth over the furniture and gave me her full attention.

"There was a woman who got killed at the supermarket nearby."

My heart almost stopped, a harsh tugging in my guts made me throw up. That couldn't be. There hadn't been any information on such an occurrence. I had purposely looked over the whole internet for just any sign of yesterday's strange incident.

"The cashier has reported on not seeing anything suspicious while the murder happened. His last customers, however, were two Korean girls and a European-looking foreigner."

"Yeah?" I simply replied and was about to turn around with the paper bag and leave. Joo-hyun saw my miserable try at escaping coming and threw the washcloth on the table before she quickly made her way towards me.

"What did you do, Odette?" She demanded in a loud voice and grasped my underarms with her hands. Her fingernails printed my skin, surely leaving marks later of her forceful behavior. Eyes wide and mouth agape with shock I couldn't even utter a word. Her calm and professional attitude had worn off and turned into a hysteric one.

"I didn't do anything!" I protested and tried to free my arms off her iron grip. She shook me, pulled me closer to her, so I couldn't look anywhere else but her glaring eyes.

"You must have done something!" She shouted at me. It didn't seem as if she meant my quick stop at the supermarket. For that, her scolding was way too angry.

I must have done something. I should have. I knew that the situation from yesterday wasn't right and I still didn't fight, not even verbally.

"I didn't kill her!" I harshly stated and pushed the woman off me. Joo-hyun's breath was heavy and irregular, much like mine.

"Of course, you didn't," she said after a painfully long moment of silence. "But what if they think you did?" she continued. "The cashier, the police—what if they believe that this 'foreigner' was the culprit?"

"How do you know about this, Joo-hyun? All the journalists who wrote about criminality in Korea are practically wiped out. It's impossible to find even one blogger on an official indie platform."

"Odette, listen to me! This can end pretty badly on your side. If the police don't do their investigation right, they might seal you as the culprit!"

I breathed in. There was no way that my sanity could hold me back at this point. I began talking, words forming into sentences that I wish I could have delivered to my loved ones.

"And what about the Mafia? What about Bangtan? Why aren't they suspected when all they do is kill and take? I know what I've witnessed, Joo-hyun. The girl with the box full of ramen cups...was calling someone on the phone and acted highly suspicious when she noticed me." I made a quick pause and grabbed Joo-hyun's hands. The woman didn't say anything but her eyes widened and she shook her head as I continued.

"What about Bangtan?" I repeated. "Bangtan had kidnapped and threatened me before I went back home to my family. Those thugs blackmail everybody into shutting their mouths. Fuck them for getting away with these thuggeries! And fuck the police for accusing innocent civilians while they know what's going on in this country. It's easy suing me! It's so fucking easy to go after me rather than those rich bastards who feed on the fear of manipulable people."

"Odette, stop," My boss pleaded but I couldn't listen to her pleadings. I couldn't hold back although I knew I should have.

I should have left with Lisa.

"It's the police who's in the wrong," I whispered, a sob escaping my mouth. "And I'll make sure that they know they're in the wrong. Even if they lock me up, even if I'll get all the blame in the end; I won't give up. I'm fed up with watching Korea getting destroyed by the hands of this asshole who rules over the Mafia!"

Then I let go of her and began crying. I cried for Lisa, for her friend, for my family, and that woman who I should have saved. And I raged because I cried. After all, I showed weakness and helplessness. I was one of those individuals who feared Bangtan.

Joo-hyun pulled me into a hug, her hands tracing up and down my back as she laid her other hand on my head and placed it atop her shoulder.

"Please don't interfere with them anymore," she whispered. "Sometimes the best thing to do is staying out of things and let them get handled. I'm sure that if you stay out of it, nothing is going to happen."

Her words didn't get to me. No one would ever get to me. I needed to fight! I needed to do something! Because of this mentality...that's why so many citizens had died.

And nobody would die because I didn't react quickly enough a second time!

🍋

As my hand had forcefully come in contact with the surface of the white table, the policeman immediately lifted his head in surprise, almost gaping at my stern presence. He raised his eyebrows at my boldness and rather rude behavior. It had been a shitty day as it was and I just couldn't force myself to simply go home after working at the bakery. I needed to notify the police about my anger and maybe rebel against Bangtan a little bit. I was done keeping the secrets in my heart any longer, feeling more anger than fear; feeling more braveness than weakness.

"Good evening. How may I help you, Miss?" The older male asked me as I sat down on the chair opposite of him. His voice was so soothing that I almost forgot about my intention for a moment. The policeman's brown eyes held no prejudice, no superiority. I almost forgot that people like him existed. People who didn't mean harm. I almost felt bad for my bratty behavior from earlier. The policeman shoved the notice book he had written in until suddenly being disturbed disturbance to the side and smiled at me kindly.

As if he tried to signalize that he had my full attention and that I shouldn't hesitate to trust him with any of my chaotic thoughts. He had that effect on me, however, I still wanted to stick to my paranoia and decided to speak cautiously.

"My name's Odette Abbe", I held up my identification card and placed it on top of his desk. "I'm here because I'm fed up with the whole world." I was blunt and yet again less than smooth when socializing with a stranger.

"Oh...I understand. Well...," he uttered, his coffee-brown eyes mustering me slightly confused. Would now be the moment for him to nicely tell me to fuck off? Maybe I should have elaborated more but that was one of the strongest internal thoughts that had crossed my mind.

"Is there a particular occurrence that made you come to the police station or do you just need someone to talk to?" he asked me. I was surprised that he requested the last bit.

"There is a reason why I'm here," I answered honestly.

He took the notebook into his hands and placed it in front of him again. He pulled a pen out of one vessel and put the bullet point on the paper, looking at me with awaiting eyes. He seemed to take me seriously although I was more than a mess at this point. I wasn't sure if in his place I would have even talked further with me.

"Well then...What is your reason for asking a police officer for help, Ms.Abbe?"

He really didn't flip me off?

"There was an incident yesterday in the evening. I guess it was around 6 p.m. or so. I went out to buy some ingredients at the supermarket Filter on Holjae-street. Besides me, two women were making in that building on that evening. I didn't notice one of them until I exited the building. This one young woman was talking with someone on her phone next to the exit and I did overhear her speaking. I'm not sure why but it slightly worried me...", I began my story and noticed along the way that I must have seemed like an attention-seeker, trying to waste the time of the police.

"What was the conversation about, so that it unsettled you?" the policeman questioned me, not showing how he felt about this weird report I was giving.

"She said something along the line of 'she's still inside'. There was only one woman in the supermarket at that moment..." How could one report a criminal activity if one just happened to catch the preparation phase of killing someone but not the actual act? It had just been a phone call and I had only overheard one sentence but it had stuck with me. "She...froze when she noticed my presence. And she..." I looked in the coffee brown eyes of the policeman. "She had also bought a box full of cup noodles." Maybe I should have just left the station at that point.

"Cup noodles?" the older male repeated kindly when I didn't elaborate further. He smiled at me. I felt even worse although my worries had made sense. What kind of connection did my boss have? Could I even trust her sources? I wasn't sure anymore but I just wanted to do something, anything. I just happened not to be able to talk about a different crime, a gun held up to my head and being kidnapped soon after. Did the policeman believe the cup noodles as my reasoning for a crime that had happened but no normal citizen knew about? Had he also known about Red Riding Hood who bought this stuff after kidnapping an innocent young student?

"I'm sorry...", I apologized, feeling helpless again as I sat there, not being able to reason my thoughts without opening that one traumatic wound. "I...can't explain it better than that there's been a terrible person who bought that stuff once and it has stuck in my brain ever since..."

The pen stopped moving and the police officer watched me cautiously with his observing eyes. I averted my gaze and looked at my hands in my lap.

"Did something else happen as well?" he asked me.

I swallowed. My impulsive angry side had taken control...that's why I was sitting here and now it was slowly taken over by my insecurities.

"There was a man who bumped into me slightly after I made my way home. There was something...odd about him", I said.

There was suddenly a heightened tension in the room. The officer watched me very carefully, his eyes roaming my face after I looked at him again.

"What did the man look like?" His interest was growing.

I breathed in slowly, felt my hands tremble slightly. "I guess he was Korean. He had brown hair, brown eyes, a button-like nose, small full lips, and defined cheekbones. He just...looked normal."

"Normal?" The policeman repeated.

"He didn't look like someone who would commit murder but I don't think there's even a look to it," I said.

"Murder?" The policeman looked perplexed at me, his brows furrowed and his eyes wide.

He should have known from the beginning of which occurrence I was rambling about if the report I had heard was even true. I needed to play my cards carefully now to not seem like the one who committed a crime. My boss had said the police had already been suspicious of me after all.

"Didn't a murder happen at that particular supermarket in the evening?" Now I was the one asking questions, my voice only heard as a whisper.

For the first time, he held up the ID that I had rudely slammed on his desk a while ago and skimmed through it. His confusion never faltered but that kind smile of his had vanished for good, replaced by a frown.

"From where did you hear that?" the policeman had asked me before he put the letter to the side.

"People talk and I'm not stupid either. Why would you ask me about the guy's appearance if my suspicion isn't connected to a serious crime? I just needed confirmation."

The policeman leaned back in his seat and seemed to need a moment to organize his thoughts again. Then suddenly he stood up, his head turning behind him as he circled the desk and motioned me with a hand to follow him.

'Do you remember that one police officer you thought to be involved with Bangtan? Well, I may owe you a coffee,' Jeong-guk's statement from the past nagged at my brain.

Who had been that one police officer again? What had been his name? Had they fired him or let him be since everyone was involved with Bangtan anyway? Were this policeman's kind demeanor and that gentle smile an act as well?

I stared at his back while he went forward. His steps didn't make any sounds as he walked. No one noticed him leaving. The other policemen and policewomen still sat there, talked, ate, drank, and did paperwork. Not even one of them thought that their coworker's behavior was highly suspicious.

After taking a deep breath, I followed him though when my sports shoes hit the ground, they let out silent creaking sounds. How did his heavy combat boots fail at signalizing his presence?

The narrow hallway we walked along was dim-lit which didn't exactly help me in easing my paranoid mind.

The older male stopped at a turn and suddenly grabbed my hand to pull me into a dark room with him. My heart fell at his weird behavior.

He was a thug as well! I knew it! They worked for the Mafia! He would kill me now that's why he dragged me here!

I was ready to scream and fight him off, however, he let me go in the end and simply turned on the lights after the door had closed shut. I had hyperventilated, sweat had already clung to my temple and my muscles stiffened—an automatic reaction to every suspicious and frightening situation.

The police officer had noticed my silent mental breakdown as well.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Ms.Abbe. I didn't mean to push you into an uncomfortable situation. I should've explained my intentions a lot sooner but this issue is too problematic for others to get a glimpse of. You never know who's listening after all."

His last words did sound extremely familiar to all the warnings that had ever been directed towards me. However, if I had just once followed this rule, I wouldn't have stood in front of this man now, in a small white room stacked full of cartons and shelvings. There was a row of narrow and tiny windows on the top of the wall. It was more than impossible to use them as an escape.

The policeman rummaged through all his pockets on his uniform and made me anxious as the seconds went by. When he had finally grasped something he had been looking for, I took a step back, making my back connect with one shelf and result in a loud vibrating sound. I winced when his hand drew out to me but he wasn't about to hit me. Quite the contrary, he had only wanted to show me a small piece of paper which consisted of a phone number.

"There will be a meeting at 8 p.m. at the Hangsang River next to the highway tomorrow," he explained when I took the small paper out of his hand and skimmed the number digits. He didn't comment on my weird reactions.

"A meeting?" I repeated very confusedly. When I looked back at him he smiled again though this time it was out of pride.

"We're a small group of people since it's not that easy finding recruits nowadays. You know, with dangerous criminals running around generally, a lot of citizens decide to stay out of trouble by choosing silence. I would like to explain everything in the evening when we have more privacy."

He was about to leave but I stopped him by grabbing the sleeve of his uniform.

"Wait! I haven't even caught your name!" I protested.

"Oh, right! It's Kim Jong-dae," he introduced himself and pointed to the name shield on his uniform. I let go of him but didn't feel any reassurance at all. I would be a fool to go to that meeting with that small knowledge about him and his intentions. As if sensing my unsureness he took a step towards me and looked me deep in the eyes. "I know that this all might be confusing and even scary to you. If you don't want to participate in this I understand," he looked very serious now, a thoughtful expression on his face. "You just seemed as if you'd be the type who wasn't scared about speaking her mind," he confessed, that smile appearing again.

He was a weird guy for sure.

"How can I trust you?" the question came out suddenly, I couldn't even stop myself from speaking.

"That's the whole point in this group. You can't trust anybody."

"Oh," I had only managed to reply before he exited the room. He left the door open which I was very grateful for. I wasn't claustrophobic or anything but I was still paranoid with scary imagines in my head.

Kidnapping, torture, death—he said I shouldn't trust. But again, if there was no reassurance, no friendship, how could an underground organization fight together?

When I finally exited the police station, I felt a tinge of nausea in my stomach.

What was the worth of my life, of the life of my family, of all of us? I had held speeches about fighting Bangtan, thought so mighty about myself in the process of saying something out loud that nobody dared to. Now I finally had the chance to show everybody, especially myself that I was capable of more than just talking, that I had meant more than those brave imaginations in my head.