Chang-kyun [Helen's ex-boyfriend] (Monsta X)

Kim Yug-yeom [Yuggy] (Got7)

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Jackson hadn't visited me anymore and Jeong-guk hadn't shown up in English lecture for the rest of the week. Every single day went on without me communicating with anyone other than my family who I called on every Thursday, asking them about their well-being and their day.

I had a younger sister, an older sister, and an older brother, so I could have never called myself lonely in all the 17 years I had lived with them back home in a small town in Korea. There hadn't been a day going by without somehow interacting with people I cared about. I had always enjoyed annoying my older siblings with my younger one for example. Planning pranks and surprising them when they least expected it, I had always had a weird way of showing my affection towards others.

My loving father had often told me crazy and funny stories about his childhood and him doing the same thing, only that he had stood as the oldest sibling. He always supported my liveliness. Not that my mother didn't. There was a reason after all why she was still married to her husband. Still, she was more on the calmer side; polite, friendly, and very ladylike in all kinds of situations. It must have been hard on her raising such a bold brat like me. And still, she had never complained about it, ever.

Since my mother was such an honest human being, she had educated all her children on how telling the truth was a number one rule under her roof. To this day, I worshipped Mom's principle everywhere I went. It was a piece of her I carried around with me all the time. Partly to make up for all the trouble I had given her by bothering my older sister and brother throughout my childhood. Thankfully both of them took after our mom and never failed to forgive me for all the weird phases I had gone through. Especially when I had hit puberty. Though Theodor, my brother, who was six years older than me, didn't need to deal with it after he had gone to college when I was twelve years old.

Unlike my older sister, Helen, with whom I was only three years apart. I still remember that one particular moment I had embarrassed her in front of her first steady boyfriend. Chang-kyun had been such a nice guy though and cared very little about all the cringy stories I had revealed about Helen. I must have been sadder than my sister when both of them agreed to break up after one year. Chang-kyun had graduated earlier at high school—being one year older than my sister—and decided to go abroad after. His departure had been the end of their romantic relationship.

And then there was my little sister, Evelyn, who had to put up with my bullshit just like Helen. I'm pretty sure she had learned a lot from my mistakes: She never got in trouble, generally socialized, and behaved around her superiors. With her 15 years, she sometimes acted more like an adult than I would have ever been capable of. But that was okay. As my lovely mother's saying went, 'Every human being is different. There's plenty of time to figure yourself out and take everything at your own pace.'

I truly missed my family on days like these, when I was trying to cook a proper meal while listening to emotional movie soundtracks. Yes, indeed, I was a true nerd at heart, appreciating good music.

Becoming roommates with Lisa was pretty much the same as living alone. The first few weeks she had been at home, we had cooked a lot together and went out sometimes to watch a movie or to even attend house parties. That girl knew every street corner and additionally a lot of people since she had grown up in SM Town. She had been my biggest help in settling in a completely new home and had never failed to make me feel welcomed. That was what I called an actual blooming friendship, unlike that thing that had gone on between me and Jeong-guk for a whole month.

Then Lalisa started disappearing to God knows where. Sure, I didn't ask her, so she wasn't coming up with many explanations, but it was obvious that she was involved in shady matters.

That guy Jackson was enough evidence for that theory. Everything about him screamed danger. And yes, even in dangerous situations I still let my big mouth get the best of me. And yes, now rather than one thug, I had two thugs plotting my death. But then again, they probably didn't give a shit about an irrelevant first-year student like me.

I sighed, measuring the rice and water before putting it in a small pot and positioning it on the burner. Soon the boiling vegetables would be ready to be served and it seemed that the salmon which baked in the oven was also almost fully cooked. I leaned against the kitchen counter for a moment, sliding my phone out of the right front pocket of my sweats. I had already opened social media when all of a sudden a loud thud sounded at the entrance door. My phone had almost fallen out of my hands as I winced at the loud noise.

What the hell was that? I immediately stopped the music on the small electrical device and waited.

It had sounded as if someone had run against the white doorframe, trying to break in. I gulped as that possibility crossed my mind. Someone suddenly started fidgeting with the lock, which made me freeze until I heard a feminine voice curse behind the door. It must have been Lisa who thought I hadn't locked up at first which explained the loud thud that had followed. Now she tried to open the door without any success. Did she forget her key by chance?

I cautiously strode to the door and turned the lock. I grabbed the handle and was about to pull the doorframe when it was torn from my grip by a fast and sudden movement and could only be hindered from banging against the next wall by the convenient doorstopper.

A young woman with shoulder-length rosé colored hair and blue eyes stood before me. She pushed me without warning and quickly shut the door behind her. Then the young woman looked at me, breathing heavily as if she'd been running a marathon. Her face looked very similar. If she hadn't changed and cut off her blonde hair and put blue lenses over her originally brown eyes, I would have realized from the start that it was my roommate, Lalisa. Without waiting for me to adjust to the new situation, she suddenly grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me.

"You need to leave!" she panicked. "Hurry! Grab your backpack and some spare clothes!"

"What?" I could only bring through my lips, totally shocked about her strange behavior.

The thin girl rushed past me and headed towards my bedroom.

"Wait!" I automatically reacted and followed her. "What is going on? Lisa?"

She rushed to my closet, opened it, and rapidly went over all my clothes, pulling pieces out of the secured place and throwing them randomly on my bed. I stared at her from the doorframe, not daring to interfere and raise the possibility to make her break out in complete madness. I didn't know how Lalisa reacted to small provocations when she was in a panic mode after all.

"Hurry! Grab your schoolbag and a toothbrush!"

Although I was very much confused and shocked by everything at that moment, I still obeyed. I went over to the bathroom, grabbed my pink toothbrush, my hairbrush, and all the facial products I used for my bad skin. Well, my face wasn't that bad anymore but I still used the creams so I wouldn't have drastic breakouts. Thankfully these beauty products worked just perfectly, so I brought them with me wherever I went.

Back in the bedroom I stuffed them into my backpack and grabbed my phone charger from my desk. Lisa put all the clothes she randomly picked out for me in a paper bag and then threw them at me, so I had to catch them.

She then practically pushed me out of the apartment and then quickly handed me over a piece of paper while I rushed to get my comfortable sports shoes on my feet.

Everything happened too fast. I wasn't able to keep up at all.

"What's this?" I asked her, my eyes trained on the piece of paper, even though there were a lot other more important questions I needed to know the answers to at this point.

"You can use Google Maps or whatever useful App you have on your phone to find this address. Just say that I'm the one sending you and that you desperately need a roof over your head for one night at least," she explained and gave me my jacket next.

"Why? What happened?" I asked her since I was very confused about her plan. I put down the paper bag, so I could put my forest green jacket on and zip it.

"I'm going to call you and explain everything later! Just write to me when you're there and reassure me that you're taken in for the night. Then everything's fine and I can forgive myself for putting you through this right now," she told me.

Now that I had the opportunity to look at Lisa's face, I immediately took notice of the dark circles under her eyes and her tired and worried gaze. There was no smile, no jokes, no over-dragged 'gurl'. Nothing seemed to remain of the once happy and funny person that she had been.

"Okay," I agreed. In my head it was a different story, of course, crazy thoughts crossing each other and creating even more insane theories about the current situation I was in.

"Okay," she repeated, relaxing a little bit at my approval. Lisa put a hand over her right cheek while slowly inhaling and exhaling. My roommate had lost some weight based upon her more defined face and the way her bomber jacket looked bigger on her compared to the last time I had seen it on her. Her hopeless and pained facial expression was also quite alarming since I had gotten used to her smiling face and sparkling eyes. It hurt me more than I wanted to admit. Sure, I hadn't known her for that long but I didn't need to. There had been an ultimate connection between us from the start. Although I had been skeptical about anyone approaching me I wasn't like that with her. I trusted her.

"I'm so, so sorry, Odi. Believe me, I've never wanted to involve you with any of this. I'll do everything in my power to make it up for you one day." Her apology made my heart clench.

"That's what friends are for. You can rely on me," I reassured her as I grabbed after her shockingly cold hand and squeezed it softly. Sometimes she acted like a loner as if there was nobody to turn to when she felt lost and sad.

"I don't deserve such a good friend like you" she had said before she pulled me into a desperate and hesitant hug. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

With the piece of paper clutched tightly in my hands, I wrapped my arm around her tiny body and lay my head on her shoulder. She was a little bit taller than me. However, her slim figure often made her look smaller and fragile. Lisa wasn't weak though. She had been the strongest and bravest girl I had ever come across. Wrapped in each other's arms, we had stayed in that position for some time since both of us didn't want to let go. Although I tried very hard to blank out all the negative thoughts, I couldn't help but feel as if this was the last time I would ever get the chance to embrace this person.

"Please be careful," Lisa said as we managed to part. "The streets are even more dangerous at night," she added thoughtfully while wiping her eyes with both of her palms. Seeing her upset like this truly pained me.

"You don't need to worry. I can take care of myself," I reassured her. There was nothing else I could say or do.

She acknowledged my words, however, they didn't hold the power to calm her down. Whatever it was that had forced her to send me away, it was stressing her out a lot.

"I can't thank you enough for putting up with such an annoying and selfish human like me. I've made far too many demands from the start and expected you to always follow my wishes. This will be the last time I ask you to do something for me."

The last time. Why did it sound like a goodbye?

"No matter what happens, don't come back here until I give you the okay sign. Promise me, Odi."

It didn't feel right at all, leaving her behind in such a critical situation. My heart told me not to follow her wishes and stay since it clenched at the mere thought of fulfilling her wish. It wasn't my place to make decisions though. If she wanted me to leave I needed to respect her plea. How I felt and what I wanted didn't matter in this situation. It wasn't my place to go against her ideas and plans. Lisa was the one to deal with her problem after all, not me.

"I promise."

If leaving would make her feel better then there was nothing holding me back.

A hopeful smile spread over her face at my answer. She finally smiled. I did too although my heart still ached and my eyes stung. It hadn't been the right answer for me but it was certainly for her, and that was enough for me.

Without saying another word, I flung my backpack over my back and grabbed the paper bag. Lisa looked like she wanted to say something else, opening her mouth but then decided against it and closed it again in the end. She just stood there with glazing fake blue eyes and her right hand gripping her left upper arm.

With the crumpled piece of paper in my hands, I turned around and stepped out of the doorway into the cold night. Feeling like I betrayed her, nausea spread in my stomach, making me almost throw up as I strode away from her and went down the stairs.

"Gurl!" the voice of Lisa echoed around the small apartment complex, making me stop in my track and look up to the terrace where the thin girl stood. She gripped the railing as she looked at me from above. I could merely see the outline of her silhouette since the light was coming from behind her, so her facial expression stayed hidden. "We won't ever let us be oppressed by the king of shit!"

I was surprised by her words at first. After all, I said the same to Jeong-guk in that café one week ago.

Find the one who caused this mess and put him behind bars...I had thought I was the only one romanticizing that naïve idea.

"Damn right! Let us kick him from his shitty throne!" I shouted back after some time. Suddenly the guilt and pain weren't nagging at my nerves anymore. Moreover, I didn't feel as if I would leave her behind. Her hearty laugh filled the silence, making the hairs on my arms stand up. My heartbeat quickened as the sweet sound filled my ears, blocking out all my worries and pain. All the memories of us laughing and joking took over my thoughts, creating a false feeling of security and ease.

For a moment I stood there zoned out and still under the illusion of the world revolving in peace around me. The silhouette didn't move as well, maybe because she was under the same circumstances. Lisa was a girl who shone brighter than the sun when she smiled and her eyes sparkled like the sea when she talked. And as I imagined her looking at me like that, I turned away and set off.

I used my phone flashlight to be able to read the address on the piece of paper while walking. The street name was unknown to me, but then again, I hadn't been that familiar with SM Town yet. While going down the stairs I unlocked my smartphone and opened Google Maps, typing in the address. The place was 30 minutes away by foot from our apartment. I sighed yet again, Lisa still on my mind.

There were still many questions I needed answers to. I grabbed tightly onto the paper bag and held it firmly to my upper body while I held my phone up, so it could lead me the way. While walking faster I prayed that nothing dangerous lingered in the dark that would jump at me and kill me.

I flinched as suddenly a bush rattled near the silent road. Immediately, I directed my flashlight at the groomed plant and watched out for anything weird. It was only a black cat that quickly ran away when it had been hit by the bright light of my phone. I had muttered a quick apology before continuing to walk down the narrow street the map had colored out for me.

Maybe I was being too paranoid or had just simply watched too many Horror Movies, but I truly felt as if someone was watching me. Now, I didn't believe in ghosts or any kind of creepy monsters that lingered in the dark. My fear was a little bit more logical and rational than that—or so I had liked to think. There was something that made my skin crawl and created an uncomfortable feeling in my guts. I tried very hard not to point my flashlight in all the shady-looking directions and make me additionally look like a madwoman who had big problems with her sanity.

I didn't care about what others thought about me,  though I never had. Sure, my big mouth had led me to minor conflicts with former teachers, students, and even strangers—that had always made me reflect on my behavior—but all in all, I had never been afraid to show my true self. It was more about what I thought about myself as weird as it probably sounded. I didn't want to let my scaredy-cat side show. And maybe it was stubborn of me to always try to hide all my insecurities but I hated to feel scared and vulnerable. I always forced myself to be brave, so I could train myself to be fearless.

It didn't work although I often told myself the opposite. To manipulate oneself wasn't as easy as to manipulate others.

A group of men caught my attention as I was walking past them. They sat on the sidewalk with lit cigarettes between their fingers and smoked. I immediately held my breath and growled internally. I hated the smoke. The guys were all quiet which I thought was strange at first but my brain was soon filled with other inspections. Loud bass boosted music flooded through the dim-lit street and I immediately noticed on my phone that the address I was trying to get to was only a few blocks away. It didn't surprise me that Lisa had sent me to someone who lent their home out for parties and big get-togethers.

Why wouldn't there be parties? It was Saturday night. The only time students could have fun carelessly was on the weekends since they had to concentrate on learning on the other days. Well, if they took college seriously that is.

I sighed as I came to a halt in front of the building that held the address. A lot of dancing young people could be seen through the big windows. I had never been here before. Not that I went to parties alone. I only stayed at home in my free time and studied. And if I didn't learn for college, I listened to music, watched movies and TV shows or read books as well as online stoes, and researched about current political issues. That was the moment I realized how unsocial I truly was—an outsider if you will.

People scared me nowadays to be completely honest. Back in my hometown, I had been able to peacefully talk to anyone. There hadn't been any unwritten rules and there had certainly been no danger that involved you getting beaten up by people you called your friends only because you said something about the growing issue with criminals. Rapidly growing violence must have been the start of everything.

When I had turned 15 the only thing we, the civilians, had been able to see on the News and hear on the radio was the uprise of gangsters around Korea and also the massive increase of illegality. My poor mother still to this day couldn't believe what the world had come to. My father, on the other hand, seemed to slowly accept our county's fate and had simply told me and my siblings to stay away from trouble, so we could lead a calm and peaceful life while letting the trouble unfold itself around us. That had probably been the main reason why I didn't socialize and didn't let myself fall into the unpredictable world of parties and the bad influence of strangers.

I shook my head to clear it from all my wild thoughts and rang the doorbell. It had made a sharp sound though I almost didn't hear it through the buzzing of the loud music. Then finally, the door opened and revealed a tall young man with light brown hair. The lamp on the wall made his hair look golden.

"Come in, come in," he had immediately said before his dark eyes roamed over my shorter frame. "I hope you know that this party is not meant to be a sleepover though," he added, a humorous smile on his pretty face. I felt very awkward at that instant. He probably made that joke because of my sweats and my oversized pullover under my jacket. And of course because of the big paper bag and my backpack.

"I'm not here to attend the party," I told him, slowly taking my steps towards him but stopping just before going up the stair to the front terrace. His expression became puzzled and urged me to explain further.

"Can I maybe talk to the host?" I asked the guy, gripping the paper bag tighter to my chest.

"Yes, that would be me," he answered. Then suddenly realization seemed to hit him and his dark eyes widened. Since I had focused on his chocolate-colored orbs, I noticed a small mole sideways under his under-eye.

"Oh, I understand now! We're sorry for being so loud. We'll try to tone it down a little bit," he assured me although that hadn't been my intention at all.

"Oh no! I'm not here to complain! I don't even live in this neighborhood. Lisa has sent me here," I quickly corrected him.

His eyebrows raised, and mouth slightly open he made a surprised face.

"Lisa?" he asked.

"What's up, Yuggy?" another male voice interrupted him which sounded very familiar to my ears.

"Kookie," the young man greeted the other one who then also appeared in the doorway. It was Jeong-guk. I wanted to facepalm myself. Of course, he would be here. He was more of an outgoing person than me for sure.

My fellow student's relaxed stance immediately vanished as he had also noticed me. His dark eyes narrowed at me for a moment but then he just shook his head and pulled at the door, so it was wide open.

"Come in," he said. Well, it sounded more like an order anyway.

"But—," I began but got immediately interrupted.

"I know," he simply said. "You can stay the night."

Yuggy or whatever his name was looked a little bit taken aback and gave his friend—calling him Kookie was enough to sign—a confused look. Jeong-Guk ignored him and kept his gaze on me. I only nodded, feeling even more uncomfortable. Sleeping under a tree on a clear night didn't seem like a bad idea suddenly.

But rather than running away and doing exactly that, I followed the Korean man into the house. All the areas were packed full of people dancing, drinking, and talking. It was a bit hard to move between them as Jeong-guk led me up to the staircase. I felt less awkward when we were up on the first floor, leaving all the people behind. The guests seemed to respect the bedroom area since there had been no one on the floor.

"You can use this room for the night," Jeong-guk instructed, as he opened one wooden door and switched on the lights. A small and messy came into my view.

"It's our third roommate's. He won't be back until the day after tomorrow, so you can take over his couch," my fellow studebt instructed. He nodded to me, a sign that I should enter the room. How kind, letting me pass through. I immediately noticed the piece of furniture in the corner of the room with a lot of different stuff laying on it. From diverse clothing pieces to random computer games and even porn magazines. How...comfortable.

"Well, then, goodnight."

He was about to close the door when I stopped him midways.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why what?"

"Why are you helping me?"

After all the awful things I've said, I wanted to add but then couldn't bring it through my lips.

"I'm not helping you," he disagreed after a while. "Everything I've done until now hasn't been for you. I was in debt and now I've paid enough to compensate for it." He seemed to want to close the door for sure this time but then halted again. This time it had just been him.

"She could've asked me for anything," he stated. "And yet she used all her wishes on you. You're not even worth it."

And then I was left alone with all my thoughts and worries and also a sudden ache in my heart. Sure, there had been people in my life before who had tried to hurt me through mocking words but no one had been this harsh with me before.