Jeon Jeong-guk [Kookie] (BTS)

Jackson Wang (Got7)

Lalisa Monoban [Lisa] (BLACKPINK)

🍋

Bangtan was the most known gang in Korea of all time. They had gained many followers and such a high profile over the years that it was a miracle if someone hadn't heard of them yet. It had become an unwritten rule among civilians to never actually talk about the mafia, especially if intending to badmouth them. You never knew who was listening. Even your closest friends could be involved with Bangtan without you knowing about it.

It was kind of funny to me. An organization that was worldwide known was still treated as if it was hidden and very much a myth. Just that I couldn't laugh about it. Not while the country's laws, especially human rights were ignored now. And not only by Bangtan and other unnecessary smaller gangs. Even the government didn't seem to make any efforts in changing anything about the clear madness that was slowly becoming a big problem in Korea. Violence, robbery, drug abuse, and human trafficking; there was no way that the politicians hadn't come in contact with these crimes already.

After all, there was a pretty high chance at night to witness one suspicious person selling cocaine in a dead-end to all the businessmen and businesswomen who quickly became regulars after finding themselves addicted to the dangerous relief drugs gifted them. And if they didn't pay up, their organs would be a good input in the black market later.

Everybody was somehow involved with Bangtan. And if not Bangtan, then some other suspicious stuff that was still connected to the underground business. I was too kind-hearted and unsocial to fool around like all the other young kids in my class, so I didn't deal with gangsters and drugs. Well, as young as you could be with 18 years anyway.

"Have you seen the news?" asked one of my fellow studebts as he took the empty seat next to me without bothering to ask for permission first. Jeong-guk didn't seem to mind that up until that moment I was trying my hardest to focus on doing the task our English professor had given us before leaving the lecture room. The rest of our class didn't seem to mind as well and talked to each other rather than do their work. Sometimes going to college felt like attending high school. It didn't seem like a lot of young people cared about studying nowadays although they attended schools of their own will.

"Oh, now that you've mentioned it," I started, "No, I haven't. I don't remember the last time I've turned on the television." I hung on social media more often.

Jeong-guk rolled his dark eyes. Why did he even bother acting friendly when he was annoyed by me?

"But I bet you have?" I asked him while I tried to read the next task, but the boy's voice distracted me from actually taking in the written words.

"Yes, I have," he yet again began talking. "You do remember our last argument about that one police officer who you guessed to be involved with Bangtan?"

I simply nodded and looked up to meet his eyes, already guessing that I had been right about my theory judging by Jeong-guk's facial expression.

Just like me this guy also didn't show much interest in any unwritten rules. He wasn't afraid of naming the most feared gang in the country and had no problems talking about famous or even average people who may or may not be involved with the mafia.

"Maybe, just maybe, I owe you a cup of coffee," he admitted putting his left elbow on my desk and leaning his head on his hand. His eyes looked straight into mine, probably trying his hardest not to glare.

"I hate coffee", I truthfully stated.

Jeong-guk snorted. His emotionless facial expression crumbled into frustration. I liked those negative expressions a lot more on him. It was more honest if anything which made him more real.

"What about hot chocolate then?" he asked annoyed by my pickiness.

I smiled sweetly at him.

"Oh, don't be so grumpy," I began, slightly smirking. "Maybe you'll make a good bet and win next time." It wasn't a real attempt at reassuring him. Having other people pay for my meal or drink wasn't that bad.

Besides all that forced social activity between us, I had no idea what that guy wanted from me. Nothing romantic, I was pretty confident about that one. Jeong-guk just seemed to like having something—or in this case someone—around. Probably to irritate him even more than he already was. If I hadn't known any better I would have said that he was a masochist.

It was no secret to anyone that he was involved in some shady things. The biggest giveaways were new bruises and injuries that were often displayed on his pretty face. Now, one would say not to drop to conclusions and that he might be abused at home. Well, no, not in his case. He had told me that his parents were dead the first time he had asked me out to one of the game rooms nearby. I didn't even really like him which had made the situation even stranger and he also seemed to be fed up with me. Though that didn't stop him from talking to me and always inviting me to random places. And from time to time I had to get up with new excuses because I didn't trust him at all to be completely honest.

"Do you want to come over to my place after school?"

What? Now that was a first, inviting me to his home out of all locations.

"I have to learn," I told him, quickly bringing my attention back to the paper sheet in front of me. It wasn't an actual lie. I had to learn because I couldn't allow myself to slack on all the classes I took. It had been my choice to continue further education, so I needed to take college seriously.

"How can somebody be so annoying?" he asked irritated that his offer got rejected.

"The feeling's mutual," I let him know, giving him a forced smile.

What was even the point with hanging out if we weren't enjoying the company of each other?

My last class was quickly over; the bell signalizing me to get the hell out of school. At least that was the actual reaction of most of my fellow students who ran out of the classroom to get to wherever they were planning on going. May it be another class, a quick break, or a party. I had always taken my time putting my stuff into my backpack and never rushed. Stress wasn't something I could handle very well.

"I get sleepy seeing you move so slowly," Jeong-guk commented, grabbing the notebook he always carried with him. Nothing more or less. He borrowed pencils and other useful utensils from others in the class. He didn't ask for anything, he just took others' belongings without batting an eyelash.

"Then stop looking," I said, genuinely finding humor in his bitter remark, showing off my teeth. One of my proudest assets since I had dealt with braces back when I was 15. All the pain I had ever felt in my gum was worth it though. Now I had straight teeth which I never missed display. Of course, I hadn't been the only one. Most of the kids had braces nowadays, trying to desperately fit into the beauty standards of society.

The black-haired boy growled at my comment and exited the classroom, leaving me all alone. He was such a sweetheart. I sighed and swung one strap of my black backpack over my right shoulder. My eyes roamed over the empty classroom, stopping at the seat beside mine. Originally, it had been Lisa's, my roommate's, chair.

Finally exiting the room, I went straight in the direction of the entrance and left school.

Lalisa had gone missing for two whole weeks this time, so I was beginning to get worried. It had happened many times before of course, but she would always let me know if she was away. I sincerely hoped she was okay wherever she was staying at.

Walking home alone sucked big time. Especially since I was living on the more active side of SM Town. And active sure did equal to dangerous sometimes. It could be called a miracle that nothing bad had occurred to me yet. Not only once had I heard college students talking about some gangsters trying to rob them or just simply threaten them on the streets even early in the morning. It was crazy how towns you should normally feel safe in changed so drastically into war zones with drug lords fighting against each other. Only the thought of my hometown also turning into such a dark place made me seriously angry. How dare such filths destroy places that should be filled with love and sweet memories rather than guns and gang fights?

So funny.

Someone had a very dark humor. And that someone, I knew for sure, was the one on the top ruling over this mess he must have called his kingdom. A fucked-up kingdom may I add. What a sad life the king must have had, only finding joy in destroying the lives of others.

🍋

Arriving at the small apartment complex, I noticed a man dressed in all black leaning on the wall next to the door that led into my home. I had almost forgotten about this person who had started turning up at my front door for two days now. Simply ignoring him, I calmly went up the stair and opened the zip of my backpack while I walked in his exact direction. It wasn't long until I finally grasped my silver key.

"Where's she?" the male asked me in his usual rough voice as I unlocked the door to my apartment. He gazed at me from under his black cap which covered the upper half of his face since he had always kept his head slightly tilted forward. I guessed that he wanted to hide his identity.

"Not here as you can see," I simply answered. Just about to close the door behind me, the thug caught the edge with his hand. He held so much strength in his grip that I couldn't shut him out.

"Listen, I wouldn't want us to be on bad terms with each other. You can bet that it's not exactly my favorite thing in the world going around asking people to pay up the debts they have by me. However, a deal is a deal, so could you co-operate with me on this and just tell me where your precious little friend is?" He towered over me since he was taller than me and I couldn't help but notice how well-groomed his face looked for a thug. I always imagined the gangsters with dried blood, dirt, and scarring on their skin. This particular gangster had bright skin, strong eyebrows, rosy small, pouty lips, and a nicely shaped nose. His Asian eyes were downturned and gifted with double eyelids that a lot of people in Korea tried to achieve.

"I am already co-operating with you if you haven't noticed by now. I have no idea where Lisa is. You can ask me as many times as you want to but I still won't know," I replied truthfully and was about to close the door again, but he still held against it which made me let out an irritated huff.

Why couldn't this guy just back off already?

"You know, there will be consequences if she won't pay up at the end of this week," he announced, his brown eyes fixating me intensely. Just how many times did he want to tell me that?

"I bet she knows that, too, wherever she's right now. Can you please stop bothering me and move on?" I asked him in a fake nice tone and pulled at the door handle again.

"Listen here, kiddo," he began, anew. He pushed the door with his strong hand so it was wide open and pointed his forefinger on all the different buildings around the apartment complex while explaining, "There are some other people here in this area who are taking things a little bit more seriously than I do. They aren't scared of using more than simple threats to get to people. You get what I'm saying, right?"

"Look, oldie," I spoke up. He didn't seem to appreciate his new nickname since he narrowed his eyes at me. Not that I cared. This dude should have seen it coming. Calling me 'kiddo' was not a good choice to make. "I have nothing to do with all of this, therefore, you can't just pull me into this bullshit. I'm not the one in your dept. And you can freely go cry to your gangster friends about it because it doesn't matter how many times you'll be asking me: I have no clue where Lisa is. She never tells me."

Oldie was taken aback by my statement. I didn't know I was capable of surprising a gangster who must have seen much crazier things than a college student educating him on his behavior. Maybe I had gone too far.

"All right," he agreed, finally letting go of the door.

Now it was my turn to be stunned. Not wasting any time I automatically closed it shut and turned the lock. Then I breathed deeply in and out. What was that? I could hear a faint snicker from outside which slowly turned into silence after the young man had stridden away, his steps softly tapping on the concrete.

I felt my knees getting weak so I just leaned my body against the cold doorframe as a support and then slowly slid into a sitting position. My whole body was shaking.

Fuck!

Everybody was either involved with Bangtan or if not then other shady things. I was no exception after all. Why the fuck did I have to argue with thugs all the time?

🍋

The vibrant buzzing of my phone woke me up. Being irritated by the disturbance, I sat up from my bed and grabbed the loud electronics that had been placed on top of the nightstand beside my bed. I couldn't tell who called at first because my vision was kind of blurry and eye-rubbing hadn't helped my vision either. It took a lot longer for me to adjust to reality. Not really caring who wanted to talk to me anyway, I pressed the green button and held the phone up to my right ear.

"Hello?" I greeted the person, still trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. Glancing in the direction of my window, I noticed how it was still dark outside. What time was it again?

"Hey, it's me," a very familiar feminine voice greeted me over the line.

Now that woke me up for real.

"Gosh! Lisa! I thought you were dead by now! Where are you? And why are you calling me in the middle of the night?" I couldn't help bombarding her with questions. I had been worried for a whole week after all.

"Has Jackson been bothering you?" she quickly changed the subject, totally ignoring my concerns.

"Jackson?" I repeated very confusedly. But then it clicked in my head. "Oh, you mean that one irritating thug who's constantly nagging me about the money you owe him?"

I walked over to my window, pulling the dark curtains in place, so the sun wouldn't bother me in my sleep until late in the morning. My class would only start at 10 a.m., so there was no problem with napping a little bit longer than usual.

"Shit," she cussed. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

I could imagine her tense form in the payphone booth, going through her long blonde hair and closing her brown eyes tightly, trying to think of a good solution to my current situation which was a shark annoying the hell out of me.

"Relax, I can handle it. He agreed not to bother me until the end of the week. I shall be good in that timespan."

"I'm sorry, Odette," she then whispered, her voice cracking at my name. "It was not my intention to drag you into this mess. You shouldn't even know that his name is Jackson. I'm an idiot."

I stopped fidgeting with the smooth material of the curtain. She had never once called me by my full name until that moment. Most of the times she had gone with Odi or just plainly a too overly dragged, but lovely 'girl'. More like 'gurl' to get the spelling right.

"It's okay, I'm okay. I would rather have you be more careful with these types of people. However, if you'd needed some money that desperately, I could have lent you some."

Lisa sighed. She'd never been this tense on me before. Usually, she had a hyper, bubbly and loving personality, always spreading happiness and love around her.

"I know, and I appreciate your concern but please stop worrying. I'll be back on Saturday night if everything goes by plan. Then I'll have the money and Jackson won't bother you anymore."

"Are you sure? Listen, I can cover for you. Just tell me the amount and I can work on that."

"No!" she immediately refused. "I am very much able to solve my problems! Seriously! Don't do anything, Odi! Don't get tangled up in all this mess. Please, I beg you, try to ignore the whole situation and act as if it's nothing."

Suddenly the hang-up sound filled my right ear. Well, shit. And here I thought I could talk to her a little longer after she had been absent for over a week. I couldn't call her back. Firstly because she only called me at payphone booths and secondly because she had told me from the very beginning to never dial her phone number. Only if I was in serious trouble I should do so. And I had to always delete every form of contact we had on my smartphone. There were many different reasons for that probably but she had never bothered to explain them, and I had never interrogated her in that matter.

Weird. That would most likely be the term one would use to describe her behavior and I couldn't agree more. But I knew very well that she only acted this way to protect me from whatever was around to harm me. The rest was up to me, acting as if I didn't care in front of thugs, as if it wouldn't scare me to death talking to potential killers. As if I wasn't aware of my position and Jeong-guk's role every time he invited me to places and now even to his own. Any moment they could hold up their guns to my head, pulling the trigger and letting me fall into complete darkness just to have another check on their list of murders. It must be normal not wanting to die at such a young age, to generally be afraid of the end; of death. I hated them. I hated all the gangsters for playing around with the weaknesses of others. Didn't they have anything better to do with their lives?

After standing some more time at the window, my phone still clutched tightly in my hand, I strode back to my bed. I let myself fall onto the mattress and snuggled with my pillow under the warm blanket.

On that night, rather than Jackson and Lisa, I thought about Jeong-guk. As I laid there, my ears filled with the piercing silence, I grabbed my smartphone after some time again and wrote my fellow student a quick message. I needed hot chocolate desperately.

🍋

"Good morning, bunny!" I greeted the dark-haired Korean boy, walking up to him on the street. He was waiting in front of the coffee shop for me, his hands buried in the pockets of his black ripped jeans. He seemed to like that color, or shade if you will. Most notably because of the cap, his loose t-shirt, and his leather jacket which three were also black. Only his timberlands remained in their original light brown color.

"Don't call me that," Jeong-guk muttered the moment I halted in front of him.

"Why not? Bunnies are cute just like you when you're annoyed," I teased him some more. I had no idea how that nickname even occurred to me. If he wanted to be my friend he needed to have a nickname. A cute one preferably. Something sweet that could overplay his annoying behavior.

He'd shot me a death glare before he turned around and went through the entrance of the coffee shop.

It was a cute building with lots of colorful flowers on the black window banks and neatly organized seating booths next to them. Little lamps and other beautiful decorations hung from the ceiling, giving the shop a very welcoming and cozy atmosphere. The ground was made of dark wood, complimenting the red brick walls and I couldn't help but notice that this place wasn't Jeong-guk's style at all. Those café was very much light-hearted, unlike his dark persona.

"Find a place where you want to sit. I'll order your drink", Jeong-guk said.

"But I thought we wanted to go to school after you'd buy it for me."

"I changed my mind."

I sighed. "Whatever you say," I finally gave in. "bunny."

He shot me another sour look which I gladly ignored and went on searching for the best seats which were in the middle right at one of the windows. I put my backpack beside me after I let myself fall onto the cushioned seat. There weren't that many people around. Most likely because the majority was at work or school of any kind. My classes started later that day so it was all good. I wasn't sure if Jeong-guk was skipping his ones or could enjoy his free time just like me. I didn't even notice when he had appeared at the table at first. I only became aware of his presence when a big glass was set in front of me. It didn't look like it was hot chocolate at all.

"What's this?" I asked him as he took a seat across from me. The drink wasn't even steaming, so it was probably not hot.

"Well, what does it look like? Your drink, of course."

"Didn't we agree on hot chocolate?"

"Isn't that boring after some time, drinking the same shit? Why don't you experiment more? Try new things, woman."

I scrunched my nose. Comparing hot chocolate to shit out of all things, he had very defined humor. And his choice of nicknames was also awful. This friendship would be a hard piece of work.

"Really? Woman? You couldn't come up with something more creative?"

He raised one eyebrow, looking deeply into my eyes. I surrendered and just put the pink straw in my mouth before sipping from the drink. It was almost freezing off my taste buds, as I swallowed the fruity liquid. At first, it tasted very sweet, but the lemon flavor that came after was a bit sour.

"And how is it?" he asked after a while as I had only stared at him without saying anything and reflected on the drink.

"Not bad, I suppose," I mumbled.

And then there it was. A smile which I had never seen before spread his rosy lips and showed off his white teeth. Now, that took me aback. He looked like a bunny when he smiled. What was with this sudden attitude change though? His mood swings were seriously worrying.

"Stop gawking at me. It's seriously getting annoying," he scolded me after some time which made his smile disappear into a frown yet again. It didn't matter what I did, I would always be annoying to him.

"Sorry, it's just that you acting this friendly is a bit new to me." I didn't even know why I had to point it out to him. Not that it had mattered.

"You know I didn't have to buy you a drink," he stated, clearly irritated by my uncalled-for comment. There was nothing left of that bright smile that he had on a couple of seconds before.

"Well, it was a bet after all. It would have been a jerk move if you'd backed out just because you've lost," I replied, my eyes wandering to the dark hickey he had on his neck. Or was it? It could have been a bruise. Jeong-guk was good-looking, so him having affairs or simple hookups weren't exactly unrealistic thoughts.

"A jerk move, huh?" he repeated while looking out of the window. I hummed, taking another long sip from the cold drink, and joined him in gazing at the display of the outside. It was good weather. The sun shone and there were hardly any clouds in the blue sky, however, it wasn't particularly warm outside.

"Be honest: did you know that this police officer we've talked about the first time was a member of Bangtan?" I asked him out of the blue.

I was probably a bit too forward. I probably took all the silent rules of this world too lightly for my good. But I wanted to prove—even if only to myself—that there was nothing to fear. It was just a stupid mob with stupid people doing stupid things. And although I wanted to desperately prove it to myself, I couldn't help noticing my left hand forming into a fist while I held the pink straw between my fingers with my right one.

It was my freedom to have my own opinions. So why? Why was it so wrong to speak my mind, to let other people know about my feelings? Wasn't that what made us humans? Trying to understand people and letting them understand you by interacting.

I hated how I wasn't capable of looking up to see the dark brown eyes of a guy who I could never understand. Because no matter how many times we interacted, he wasn't speaking his mind. He didn't have his own opinions. Jeong-guk lived a life full of pressure and violence rather than trying to become a better version of himself. He let the darkness take over him. And anyone who wasn't blind could see it. The way his smile never really reached his eyes, the way new bruises formed on his sun-tanned skin, the way he was never himself. Because whoever Jeong-guk was, I had no idea at all. He was more of a stranger to me than anything, always hiding his real intentions. It was more than clear that he didn't like me, and it was more than clear that I didn't like him, so why the heck was I sitting with a person I didn't like in a coffee shop, talking and drinking as if it was nothing; as if we were something like friends? I knew that I had wanted to get to know him, to give us a chance at building a friendship. But how could it ever work out if we irritated each other?

"I did," he finally answered after a very long time. I almost forgot that I had asked him a question. "I was just curious if you'd be willing to talk about something that is said to be taboo. And you were, much to my surprise. Think of that drink as a gift for being this brave."

He was mocking me. I was pretty sure that his last sentence was meant to be sarcastic. Jeong-guk leaned forward on the table and put his hands on the wooden surface. A silver ring was on the middle finger of his right hand. The symbol of a vest was carved into the surface.

"I also have a question for you, Odette," he told me, my name easily rolling off his tongue although he had never once used it until that moment. Jeong-guk's eyes seemed darker than usual and his serious expression became blank and unnerving. His whole posture reminded me of a hunting animal as if it had spotted its next prey which it planned on devouring.

"And what is it?" I breathed out, sounding just as insecure on the outside as I was on the inside.

"Why are you talking about Bangtan so openly if you're scared of the outcome?" he asked. Not waiting for me to answer, he continued speaking. "But why wouldn't you be talking about them, right? It's not an actual rule that says to keep quiet about their existence just like it doesn't say to openly discuss them. But if you'd actually turn on the television or just did a small research on the internet you'd know better. Yet you refuse to do so. Do you know why?"

I couldn't escape his intimating stare.

"Now, do you?" he repeated his question since I hadn't made any effort in replying to him. Why was he talking as if he knew all my intentions as if he knew me?

I sipped from my drink again, the sour taste was even more powerful this time. This guy was fairly arrogant, thinking he knew all about me. But wasn't I the same? I also tried my best to understand him. Only that I didn't tell him about my thoughts involving him, my truth of him. Hell, I could have told him all about my interpretation of his depressing lifestyle and his hidden personality, but I refused to do so. Nevertheless, I could make him understand me.

I finally opened my mouth and let my voice out, so it broke the silence.

"I want to believe," I started, while playing with the pink straw between my fingers. My gaze was only on the cold drink, never wavering. "I want to believe that there is no reason to fear something that could be easily destroyed if we'd just try."

"Easily destroyed?" he taunted me.

I looked up, only to be greeted by an unnerving side smirk and emotionless eyes daring me to speak further.

"Yes, we could prevent all this underground bullshit! We could set up new rules, have stricter police controls and find the one who caused all of this mess and put him behind bars!" I told him.

Jeong-guk snickered which took me aback. That guy had never made any other sounds than sighs and annoyed grunts before.

"You think that capturing the boss would automatically be the end of all the gangs?" Jeong-guk leaned back onto his seat, his eyes not even once leaving mine. "I knew you were naïve, but I would never have guessed that you were this dumb," he spat.

"You're right. Maybe I'm dumb, maybe I'm too naïve. But, is it wrong to believe? I'm just tired of our minds being controlled by the sick normality of gangs nowadays. They smuggle, make money out of selling drugs, increase prostitution, involve in robbery and cause violence and start unneeded fights."

"And you do realize that there would be no such dirty business if normal citizens like you wouldn't buy into it? You have no idea how many students just at our college can't keep their hands off cocaine."

The glass was empty now. I didn't even notice that I had already finished drinking the fruity creation Jeong-guk had bought me.

"Well, of course, you would know. I can't believe that I'm wasting my time on a thug like you," I said, my tone a bit too harsh for my liking. My hurtful words were created out of sudden anger, only really sinking into my brain when it was already too late to take them back.

There was a very long and uncomfortable silence taking over the whole room. I caught the female worker at the counter staring in disbelief at us. She quickly averted her gaze after I had looked at her and went back doing whatever she'd been doing before my sudden outburst.

The unwritten rule; why couldn't it be standing in the book of law so I could shut the fuck up?

Suddenly Jeong-guk rose from his seat and slid out from the booth. He dug a small pack of cigarettes out of the pockets of his leather jacket, pulling one straw out and placing it on his lower lip. Every likable aspect I had ever found in him vanished with the blink of an eye. His eyes caught mine after he had looked up for the last time that day, almost as if he was capturing this moment in his head so he would never forget it. A slight smirk took over his rosy lips as he stared back at me.

I felt bad for telling him off but at the same time, I felt like I wasn't in the wrong. Pretending as if we were friends as if we tried to get to know each other. I didn't believe in it, at all. And I didn't need another broken person in my life who would only bring me more trouble than I was already in.

"So you're not willing to waste your time on a thug like me," he repeated, his mind seemingly wandering off for a moment. His dark eyes locked with mine for a very long time before he spoke again. "But you're more than willing wasting your time on someone who profits from the things a thug like me provides?"

And then he left me. Just like the empty glass in front of me: I couldn't help feeling like I'd lost something to grasp on when Lisa wasn't around. I sighed yet again and took the pink straw between my lips although there was no liquid anymore to suck through.

I didn't take his words seriously. I didn't take him seriously. And maybe, but only maybe, if I had done differently, we could have been more than just strangers.