Adeline's POV

that's Claire's bus.

why won't they let me over there? she's my damn sister and I need to know if she's okay.

Luke and I are still sitting on the bench 15 minutes later. my sobs are slowing down, but how could I not be worried?

eventually, Luke walks me home and comes inside with me.

claire isn't here, what if something happened?

she has to be okay.

I didn't even tell her i loved her this morning.

neither of my parents are home, so they have no idea what's happened.

suddenly, the house phone rings, making both Luke and I jump.

I run over to the phone and answer it as soon as possible, "hello?"

"hi, is this the mother of Claire Rain?"

"no this is her sister, is she okay? where is she?" I say, my eyes beginning to fill will tears again.

"ma'am, please calm down."

"how am I supposed to be calm! my sister could be dead!" I say, throwing my free hand into the air.

"Addie please calm down," Luke whispers.

I hold up my middle finger to him as I let the man on the phone speak.

"This is something I never would want to say over the phone, but, I'm sorry to say that only 4 people on the bus survived, not including your sister."

I drop the phone

this can't be happening.

she was the only person in my house that I ever actually spoke to, or bonded with.

she was my sister

and I loved her, but did she know that?

did she suffer?

oh my God!

WHY? WHY HER?

"Luke" I call out.

"Addie, you'll be okay." he says as he crouches down beside me, hugging me. "you'll always have me."

he starts crying, this isn't real.

can someone pinch me?

my sister.

my only sibling, that I love more than anything, is gone.

"Luke! why didn't I just pick her up from school! this is all my fault! i should've picked her up! I hate my life! she's gone, and it doesn't even seem real." I say as I sob again.

memories of us rush into my head of us dressing up in princess costumes when we were younger, and sneaking into moms makeup and doing makeovers, and the endless talks we would have way past midnight, everything seemed like a daze. this can't be real. I refuse.

why couldn't I just be a good sister and pick her up?

this is all my fault!

she doesn't deserve to be dead!

I do. she had such a great life to live, and a damn crash ended it all!

damn whoever was driving that bus.

it's not my fault, it's theirs!

"Addie," Luke says between sobs, "I love you, never forget that. you'll be okay, we'll be okay."

I'm so grateful for a friend like him, but I'd rather be alone when the reality hits me.

"Luke, you know I love you, but can you go?" I ask, looking up from him with makeup running down my face.

"Addie, you need someone here for you."

"please?"

"okay, but please call me if you or your parents need anything!" Luke says, standing.

I nod, and I sit against my wall bringing my knees to my chest. I wait for the door to shut, and as soon as it does, I break down all over again.

I can't call my parents, but I need to.

i don't want to be the one to tell them.

maybe they've already been told?

I hear a knock on my door, and hoping its my mom or dad, I stand up to answer it.

I open the door and it's the last person I would expect or want to be in front of me.

the one and only, Ashton Irwin.

his face goes from stubborn, to concerned.

I can't be weak in front of him, but I need to cry.

I fall to my knees and begin sobbing into my hands again.

I look up with wide eyes, expecting him to be gone, but he's bending down to hold me.

he sits beside me on the cold hard wood floors, and rocks me back and forth as I cry into his shirt.

does he know what happened?

why is he being nice?

but I mean, what else would you do?

he pulls me by my waist until I'm practically sitting in between his legs, still crying.

"Adeline, what happened?"

he doesn't know

I manage to get out, "my sister", "the crash," "she's gone" in between sobs,

his grip tightens on me and he starts rubbing my back.

this morning, I had no idea id be in the position I am right now.

without a sister and crying to ashton.

"I'm so sorry." he says, as he sniffles.

"don't be." I sob.

"I'm gonna miss her so much. she was my bestfriend. I loved her, and I don't know if she knows that. God! Ashton, I'm such a screw up! she doesn't even know that I cared about her!" I look up at Ashton, and tears are running down his face, making me cry harder.

"you are not a screw up, she knows you loved her, and she loved you too. please calm down, I hate seeing you like this."

he positions himself to where he kicks the door shut, also cutting out some light that was being let in.

"Addie, let's go upstairs."

I struggle to stand, but when I do, I hold ashtons hand and we go to my room.

as soon as I'm in there, I collapse onto my bed, crying.

being in here wasn't a good idea, as I have pictures of Claire and I hanging up all around my room.

Ashton climbs beside me, and we get somewhat into the position we were in downstairs.

my crying has slowed, and I'm getting tired.

I'm still holding onto Ashton for dear life, crying into him, and that's how I fall asleep.

sobbing to some guy that I hated.

but will things change?
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I cried writing this :((
I have a sister so I guess I actually just thought of how I would act.

but fr though my sister is my bestfriend and idk what I would do w/o her

also!!! I'll update when this chapter gets 150+ reads!

anyway, I love y'all and thanks for 3K READS HOLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- a 🌅