Frank immediately became obsessed with Gerard's singing voice after their impromptu duet, and even though Gerard was uncomfortable with it at first, he was quickly discovering that all of the things that previously had him shaking with nerves faded away whenever Frank was around, and seeing Frank's face light up every time Gerard would break out into song was more than worth the slight case of jitters that came before opening his mouth.

Gerard had never really thought he had that great of a voice; he knew it was okay, but it wasn't anything special, nothing like Frank's, and even though Gerard had always harbored a secret love of performing which had never died out from his days in middle school, it had been so long since anyone had encouraged him, since anyone had actually wanted to listen to him, but Gerard found himself liking the newfound attention from Frank, and as long as his audience only consisted of his boyfriend, Gerard didn't mind loosening up and letting Frank hear something that had once been so private for him.

Frank never pushed Gerard though, it was like he could tap into whatever frequency that Gerard's mind projected on, and he knew exactly when to back off, and when to nudge him forward slightly. Frank instantly sensed that Gerard was becoming nervous when he attempted to get him to continue singing that first day, so he had changed tactics instead, continuing their spur of the moment make out session until Gerard's anxiety had ebbed completely.

But in little ways, Frank motivated Gerard to keep singing, switching to songs that Frank knew Gerard took a liking to when he had his guitar out, making it almost impossible for Gerard to keep his lips pressed together, no matter how stubborn he was, and just like wearing skirts, it got easier each time, and before long, Gerard gave in to Frank's subtle hints, allowing his voice to escape outside of the confines of his shower.

Gerard was well aware that this was just another way Frank was trying to help him, and it was working, just like everything Frank did. Even though this had to do with his voice, and not his physical appearance or his gender identity, it was still a way to encourage Gerard to love himself more, and it didn't take Gerard long to become convinced that he was a halfway decent singer, and he wasn't anywhere near as ashamed of his hidden hobby as he had been a few months ago.

But as much as Gerard enjoyed singing, it was nothing compared to singing with Frank; he even found himself asking Frank to join him on numerous occasions, his ears craving the melding of their contrasting tones, the way they seemed to overlap perfectly, the beauty produced from this union much more wonderful than anything Gerard could ever create on his own.

Gerard became unnaturally inspired by this sudden addition of music into his life, the notes and melodies following him home where he would transpose them onto a different medium. He began working on a new set of paintings, the focus being Frank's original works, which Gerard had made Frank play for him numerous times, trying his best to convey the story, and the sorrow, and the passion behind Frank's words with paint. He hadn't shown Frank his most recent project yet, but he was planning on doing so as soon as he was finished.

Gerard had never been so driven to create before, and even though his work was half started at best, he could already tell that it was going to be his best series yet, and they might even sell for a good amount of money if he managed to find a show, not that he could ever consider parting with them, this was something that was going to stay in-between him and Frank, no matter how much Gerard could use the extra cash.

The urge to have his fingers around a paintbrush had gripped Gerard especially strong today, work had dragged on torturously long as he counted down the minutes until he could return to his beloved creations. Gerard had instantly rushed to his canvases as soon as he had gotten home, too excited about continuing his project to bother changing out of his work clothes, or to check his phone, or anything like that, choosing instead to lose himself in the colors, and the strokes, and the rush he got when inspiration struck him this heavily.

Gerard most likely would have stayed in his art room all night, his back hunched over his canvas, paint splatters staining his shirt, and his face, some had even gotten into his hair, but finally, the sound of loud knocking at his front door awoke him out of his dream-like state, snapping Gerard's head up quickly, his eyes darting around when he realized that dusk had fallen while he had been otherwise occupied.

"Just a second," Gerard called out as he rushed over to the sink in his kitchen, hurriedly washing away whatever paint he could reach before scurrying into the entryway, quickly attempting to fix his fucked up hair in the small mirror hanging on the wall before tugging the brass handle open, revealing exactly who he had hoped it would be.

"Hey honey," Frank grinned, stepping inside instantly without waiting for Gerard's consent, the action causing Gerard's hurt to flutter softly in his chest, because it meant Frank felt at home here. "I'm sorry for just showing up, but you weren't answering your phone, and I brought leftover Chinese food from our favorite place." Frank held up a tupperware container to prove his words, the movement revealing a camera hanging around his neck, the expensive item protected by his oversized parka.

Gerard smiled at the sight, because he adored Frank's photography, and even if he wasn't actually viewing any of his pictures at the moment, there was just something about the way Frank looked with the device nestled close to his body - it fit him, like it was made to be there, it completed something within Frank, it made him happy, and by a matter of association, it made Gerard happy as well.

It seemed as if Frank had tapped into his creative passion around the same time Gerard had, and it was rare to find him without his camera lately. According to Frank, it had actually been Gerard who had made him pick the device back up, the old photos he had hanging in his room were from his time taking a film class in college, and Frank had never thought he would rediscover his love for seeing the world through a lens, but after Gerard had marveled over his old prints, Frank felt the desire to add new shots to his collection, and Gerard noticed an additional light in Frank's eyes recently because of it.

"You have perfect timing, I just realized I am starving," Gerard groaned, rubbing his stomach eagerly as Frank headed into the kitchen to heat up the food.

"I'm not surprised, you always forget to eat when you are painting," Frank giggled, his back turned to Gerard as he fumbled with the microwave.

"Yeah I know," Gerard hung his head in a false act of shame before beginning to search for some clean plates for him and Frank to eat off of. "So what have you been up to?" Gerard asked with his head halfway stuffed in a cabinet, genuine curiosity oozing from his tone. This was one of the rare days that Frank and Gerard hadn't spent together, and Gerard always liked hearing about what Frank did when he was left to his own devices.

"Not much really, just a few boring errands, but then it started snowing earlier, so I went outside to take pictures of it, and I may have purposely found my way over here so I could feed my boyfriend," Frank chuckled, sucking one of his fingers into his mouth to remove some sweet and sour sauce from the digit.

"You have to show me your photos after we eat, I love winter scenery, I just don't like the cold that comes with it."

"That's because you have no body heat you dork," Frank teased, even though he truly wasn't exaggerating; Gerard was always chilly, no matter how many layers he wrapped around his small frame.

"It's not my fault, maybe it's like a genetic defect, and I wasn't born with the necessary cells to keep me warm."

"There is no such thing as heat cells honey," Frank shook his head as he removed the now steaming food from the microwave, shoving Gerard out of the way gently so he could begin loading their plates up as Gerard went on a secondary hunt for silverware, because even though Gerard lived here, he didn't spend much time in his kitchen, and everything seemed to be rearranged every time he came into the small room lately, which he was relatively certain had something to do with Frank's almost constant presence in his home.

"I refuse to believe that until you show me proof," Gerard shot back, quickly dancing out of Frank's reach when he tried to nudge him playfully with his hip.

"I'm always right, there's your proof," Frank smirked when he successfully managed to back Gerard into a corner, their food forgotten for the moment as their lips met lazily in a slow kiss.

"That's not fair," Gerard whined when they pulled apart, "just because you are a good kisser doesn't mean you are always right."

"Well I say it does," Frank winked, kissing Gerard once more quickly before turning around and placing their plates on the table. "Now come on, eat up, maybe skipping meals is what is killing your heat cells."

"Ah - I win, you admitted that heat cells are real," Gerard crowed around a mouthful of fried rice, almost choking himself in the process, but if proving the existence of heat cells ended in his death, at least he would have lost his life for a worthy cause.

"Okay fine - I give up, heat cells are real." Frank raised his hands in a sign of surrender, chuckling to himself under his breath as he began digging into his own food.

A few minutes passed in silence, both men too hungry to bother wasting their mouths on anything other than eating. Gerard sighed happily as he caught Frank's gaze from across the table, because he really loved moments like this, these cheesy, domestic snapshots that he never allowed himself to hope for, but now he had all of that, and even better, he had it with Frank, and fuck - Gerard must have been a saint in another life or some shit to deserve this overload of joy.

"Hey Gerard," Frank spoke up, and Gerard instantly caught on to the nervous edge to his tone, and the way he was shifting slightly in his chair, Frank's odd mannerisms causing Gerard's previous good mood to escape him despite his best efforts to grasp onto it with reaching fingers.

"Yeah..." Gerard responded warily, his heart rate accelerating as his mind jumped to worst case scenarios, but no - Gerard wasn't going to listen to the negative portion of his brain, because he refused to think that way right now, he didn't want to ruin this perfect evening, so with a grimace that was meant to be a smile, he forced himself to hear Frank out before he assumed anything.

"I - I have something to ask you, and you can totally say no, but it would really mean a lot to me if you would consider it." Frank inhaled deeply, his hands lacing together on the worn wooden tabletop before he continued speaking. "They are having a special night at the club soon, sort of like a showcase of the best acts, and I want to do something new for it, so...would you maybe think about performing a duet with me?" Frank ended on practically a whisper, his pleading eyes locking with Gerard's for one moment before he glanced away nervously.

Gerard stayed silent as he processed Frank's request, because even though his initial reaction was to say no - fuck no, absolutely not, he forced himself to do what Frank had asked, allowing his mind to ponder the question for a moment, truly giving himself time to weigh out the pros and cons of this before he shot Frank down.

The negative sides of agreeing were obvious, and they mainly rotated around Gerard's anxiety, and yes - he had been getting better with that, but only in small things, and this wasn't small, not at all - this was heavy, this was substantial, this was terrifying, and despite the progress he had made, Gerard wasn't ready for this, it was too large a leap for someone who had just barely learned to walk.

Gerard had only recently become comfortable with singing in front of Frank, and there was no fucking way that Gerard could force himself to get up on stage, in front of hundreds of people and attempt to emulate what Frank did so flawlessly. He would make a fool of himself, everyone would laugh at him, and Frank would finally see what a failure Gerard was, then he would leave him, and Gerard would be left alone once again, his heart shattered upon the stage where he had first discovered it.

But there was a part of Gerard that was actually considering this, a secret, hidden part of him that had always yearned to be in the spotlight, the side of him that still remembered the childlike wonder that came along with being a performer, who recalled the indescribable, wonderful ache that erupted in his chest as he stood in front of an applauding crowd, and if he did this with Frank, he could dress up, he could hide himself behind layers of makeup and clothing, which was just another love of his, combining three things he enjoyed all in one setting: singing, woman's clothing, and Frank.

Not to mention, Frank wanted this - this was important to him, maybe more important than Gerard would ever know, and even though Gerard was well aware that Frank would never actually be angry at him for saying no to this - in fact, he seemed to be expecting that exact response, Gerard didn't want to watch Frank's face fall as the two letter word escaped his lips, he didn't want to live with the guilt that would follow him around for ages if he turned Frank down.

Gerard could physically sense the anticipation hanging in the air as Frank waited patiently for Gerard's answer, and even though Gerard knew he should never do something just to make another person happy, especially if he wasn't comfortable with it, he wanted this, or at least - a part of him did, and if he got up on that stage with Frank, it would bring them even closer, it would let Gerard experience Frank's world first hand, and that was something Gerard had always desired, he felt it when he sang along to Frank's music, but he knew this would be better, so much more intense, so much more real.

"I - okay, I think I want to."

Gerard barely heard himself speak, but he knew he had, he had said 'yes', even though 'no' was the much more logical response, and fuck - he wasn't sure if that had been his intention, he hadn't even really taken that much time to come to a decision, but the words had escaped him as if they had a mind of their own, as if the old Gerard, the Gerard from middle school, the Gerard who hadn't yet been beaten down and broken had possessed his body and forced his hand without his consent, but even though Gerard flinched softly when he heard the word break the heavy silence, he had no desire to take his answer back - not yet anyway.

"Really - you are serious, and you know you don't have to say yes - this is a lot to ask, and I don't want you to feel forced into anything..." Frank trailed off suddenly, his eyes raking over Gerard intently, searching for any signs of falsity, or fear, but for once, he came up with nothing.

"No, I really do think I want to try this...you will help me right, you will be with me the entire time?" Gerard asked hopefully, because maybe he could do this, it wouldn't be that much different from leaving the house in a skirt, the same principles applied at least, so if he kept his eyes on Frank the entire time, maybe he would be okay.

"Of course - I swear, I'll do everything I can to make this easier on you, and you can back out any time," Frank reassured Gerard quickly, his gesturing hands knocking his forgotten fork off the table with a small clatter.

"I don't think that will happen, I - I'm actually excited about this," Gerard chuckled shyly.

"I was hoping you would be, I remember the way you got when you saw all of my outfits, and this is the perfect opportunity to let you have a small taste of it without forcing you into any major commitments," Frank smiled, the corners of his lips stretching further than Gerard could ever recall seeing them reach, the accompanying laughter lines highlighting Frank's face in a flattering manner.

"I'm going to do this, I'm going to get on stage - with you, wow..."

"You are, and it's going to be incredible, I just know it," Frank sighed in a dreamy fashion, his chair squeaking slightly as he pushed it aside, crossing the small distance separating him from Gerard before wrapping his arms around him gratefully.

Gerard relaxed into Frank's hold instinctively, smiling against Frank's chest as they rocked back and forth slowly, the ambience in the air acting as a mental block to all of Gerard's fearful thoughts, because right now, in Frank's arms, there was no room for negativity, it simple couldn't exist at this moment in time, and Gerard did his best to hold on to the fleeting feeling, because he knew he would need the remembrance of it in the days that would soon follow.

So I hated this chapter at first, but now I think I like it, but I'm super sleep deprived, so my judgment is probably shit.

But hey - I updated again, and exciting stuff happened, so that's good right?

Also, I started one of those 30 Day Smut Challenge books earlier tonight, so if you guys want to, maybe go check it out? I already posted day one, and day two should be up tomorrow if I find some time to write.

As always, votes and comments make me super happy if you feel inclined to leave one.

((((sleepy vibes))))

<3 starr